River of Tears, by Alessia Cara

Hermione sat on the couch in the Gryffindor Common room with Draco's copy of Fantastic Beasts in her hands. Her eyes were bloodshot and red, not to mention swollen from crying so much and tears streamed down her face creating long streak marks across her cheeks. Hermione took a long, deep breath, trying to calm herself. She wiped a tear away before it could fall on the book in her hands and inhaled sharply. She'd been crying nonstop for days and it was becoming quite pathetic. Even her dorm mates were sick of Hermione's depressed behavior and constant sobbing, hence her sitting alone in the Gryffindor Common Room.

   Looking at the book in her hands, Hermione stroked it's cover, letting it a long sighed. She had tried to work up the courage to give the book back to Draco but she couldn't bring herself to approach him. She'd been avoiding him for days since the accident. If that's what you even wanted to call it. Hermione's stomach growled and she shifted uncomfortably, ignoring the growing discomfort in her stomach. She hadn't eaten in days, avoiding every meal. It wasn't exactly pleasant to be practically starving yourself just to avoid a boy but she'd dealt with it. Starving was easier than going to the Great Hall and facing him.

Draco wasn't the only person that's Hermione was avoiding. Over the last few days, Hermione refused to talk to Ron and most other students as well, including Gryffindors. She couldn't bring herself to speak to Ron. He'd only tell her that he told her so, that he called it and that he had told her Draco was no good. Hermione couldn't listen to it. That was the last thing she needed to hear. She knew that Ron probably knew that the reason she was crying was because she and draco broke up, but he didn't need to know the details. The only people she'd spoken to were Harry and Ginny, and she hadn't even told Harry what had really happened. They both promised not to mention it to Ron seeing as how she didn't want him to go about lecturing her and possibly trying to start a fight with Malfoy.

   Hermione groaned. She could hardly believe that they had been on a first name basis. Now she could hardly think of him without bursting into tears. Hermione had told Ginny everything of course, as she was her closest girl-friend. The younger redheaded girl was appalled. She had tried to come up with a reason for why he would do such a thing but after hearing the entire story Ginny could think of no excuse. She couldn't understand why Draco would do such a thing. That made two of them. Hermione knew she needed to start going out more, but she couldn't bring herself to do anything really other than mope about.

It wasn't until a few hours later that Ginny came and forced her to take a shower and get ready for lunch. She had insisted that Hermione eat a hot meal then spend at least a few hours in the library afterwards. Hermione knew that Ginny was trying to help her get over the heartache and get back into her normal routine. She figured that at least then Hermione would have a little bit of a distraction. The idea of running into Draco or him approaching her scared her out of her wits. She was worried that even the sight of him would cause her to break down, but she was trying to be strong for at least Harry and Ron's sake. They were worried sick about her and were concerned by her recent attitude.

   Hermione was grateful to Ginny for being there for her and she felt bad for excluding Harry and Ron but right now she just needed the support of another girl, and that was exactly what Ginny offered. Though her best girl-friend could be strict and made Hermione do things she wasn't necessarily in the mood for, like brushing her hair or taking a shower, Hermione knew that it was for her own good. Personal hygiene was very important, Hermione reminded herself of this. She would rather not loose all her friends to her own horrid appearance and smell. Hermione wrinkled her nose, disgusted with herself.

Ginny also had convinced her that it would do her no good to sit around and mope, but if she really wanted to get back at Draco, then she needed to go back out there with confidence. By "out there", she meant in public, preferably other than only classes. But the more Hermione dwelled on it the more she can to the fact that she didn't want to get back at Draco. Yes he'd hurt her more than he'd ever possibly know, but she still cared about him and felt no desire for revenge. Besides, it wouldn't make her feel better. In fact, it would only make her feel worse. Hermione never wanted to hurt Draco, no matter how badly he'd scared her.

   But another thing was that she didn't know if she was ready to go out and face... everyone again with confidence. Hermione knew that one look from him would break her confidence and bring her right back to where she started. Ginny insisted she needed to socialize but Hermione just wanted to isolate herself from the rest of the world. But, Ginny was a supportive friend and that's what Hermione needed, so she would follow her wishes.

   What she really needed was to forget that she ever liked Draco Malfoy. To forget the friendship, the courtship, and the kisses they shared. Oh but the way his lips felt when they were against hers. Cold and solid yet sweet and gentle. Whenever Draco kissed her it made Hermione feel special and warm inside... until the last time he kissed her. No, that time, Draco had kissed her forcefully and his lips pressed against hers painfully hard. He'd never kissed her like that before. Hermione sighed.

   Draco had always made it a point to be short and gentle when he kissed her. He'd never pressured her to make out or heavily kiss him. Hermione had always thought them to be too young for such things anyway. She'd never felt the urge or want to share anything more than a short but sweet kiss. She always thought that the kisses they shared, though quick meant more because of that, and she had thought Draco felt the same.

   Hermione shook her head violently. She needed to stop thinking about him. To forget about the way his lips had felt on hers, not reminisce about how sweet they had been. Hermione wiped her eyes and sniffled. She realized that it was very unattractive, as looked over at a group of Gryffindors and some stood to leave the room. Dean and Seamus remained and Seamus looked up at her and shifted uncomfortably then attempted to smile. Ginny let out an exasperated sigh and rolled her eyes. Hermione smiled nervously at Seamus and nodded. It was quite uncomfortable for all of them. Ginny winced and Hermione let out a few short sighs that would have been one long breath if her sobbing had not intervened as she exhaled.

Grudgingly, Hermione pulled herself off of the couch and made her way to the bathroom. Once she reached the bathroom she locked herself in and let out a long sob. She didn't know if she could do it. How could she go out there when Malfoy was sure to be there? Hermione swallowed. She forced herself to call him by his last name. She couldn't bring herself to call him by his first name. But if she came across him during lunch or in the library, or even in the halls, he would surely mock her for how innocenct and how naive she was. Hermione closed her eyes and turned on the shower before stripping down and stepping under the hot stream.

   Granted, she'd been attending classes and some were shared with Slytherin, but it was easy enough to avoid him when the professors were around. Hermione sighed as her muscles began to melt under the steam and heat of the water. If only Draco's father would pull him out of Hogwarts and send him to Durmstrang like he'd originally wanted. She assumed that was the only way she'd ever have any peace. If she never saw him again. Time and again, she had pondered what would happen to them in the future? Both of them had another four years at Hogwarts. How was she going to stand it? Hermione sighed. She supposed things would go back to the way they had been. Malfoy taunting and mocking her and Hermione... would go back to hating him as she had before. But did she ever truly hate him?

Hermione stepped out of the shower and dried herself then got dressed quickly. A simple pair of navy skinny jeans, a pleated green shirt that was form fitting, and calf high, olive green, suede boots. Then she cast a hot air charm to dry her hair and took a brush to it, taming it to the best of her abilities. When she was finished with her hair, Hermione decided to take the risk and put on a fresh layer makeup, thickly coating the mascara. She was determined not to cry and the mascara would give her motivation or at least determination not to. If she did end up crying... then she would look like a bloody idiot. That or simply pathetic.

   Heading back to her dorm, Hermione made one last round check to see if she needed anything. When she reached the bottom of her bed she opened her trunk and pulled out a chiffon white scarf. It was not so much to keep her warm but rather for looks. She wrapped it around her neck and closed her trunk then turned to leave the room. As Hermione descended the stairs and stopped dead in her tracks when she saw the book she's had previously left on her the couch in the commmon room. She had been hoping someone would take it. Closing her eyes, Hermione sighed and made her way over to the couch and grabbed to book then left the Gryffindor Tower.

The time passed fairly quickly and there were no mishaps during lunch, mostly because Draco wasn't there. Harry and Ron were happy to see her yet still concerned by how little food she ate. But nonetheless they tried to carry the conversation and didn't question Hermione about her recent behavior, though she knew they were dying to know. But that didn't mean she had to offer an explanation. She just wasn't ready to talk about it, and she definitely didn't want them too attack Draco or try to hex him for what he did. No. That would only cause more problems. Hermione decided that they didn't need to know the details of what had happened.

   Though, because she didn't want to leave them in the dark, she offered the simple explanation that her and Draco's relationship had come to an end. She made it clear that she was the one who needed the relationship and didn't give them any additional imformation or explanation as to why. Harry has accepted her reasoning but Ron wasn't quite satisfied. He questioned her, trying to get her to tell him more, but Ginny intervened and made him stop before Hermione left and that caused things to settle down slightly.

After she finished her small portions of fruit and bread, Hermione made her way to the library as Ginny had ordered her to do. She searched the shelves, picking out her favorite textbooks. Normally when Hermione went to the library for imformation in textbooks but with every trip she would pick out a few romance novels, particularly Jane Austin. But today she didn't feel that she had the strength to read about the love life of a fictional character without bursting into tears over her own. Even if it was nonexistent now. Well, it hadn't been nonexistent, getting your head broken means you had a love life to begin with right?

   Hermione often read about the romantic affairs in her books because she longed for one of her own, but now that she had had it Hermione wished she could go back. It had been wonderful while it lasted, but it also gave her something to lose, and that exactly what happened. Hermione thought that he actually loved her, but she was wrong. He'd never cared for her. It didn't matter that she'd given him all of her attention and dare she say... all of her love. But it didn't matter now, because he was gone. Hermione held back tears. Reading a romance novel or any novel for that matter would only cause her to dwell on her own... misfortunes and she didn't want that.

Hermione carried her books over to a table and sat down then pulled out Hogwarts A history. She was determined to get some studying done before her next class on Monday. But when a blue eyed, platinum blonde walked in the library's enterance Hermione froze. She felt a wave of nausea and an invisible hand grabbed and pulled at her heart. Hermione swallowed deeply and bent over, trying to hide under the table, but it was too late. Draco had seen her.

   The Slytherin boy whom she refused to call by his name, began to make his way towards her in long strides. Hermione felt terror grip her heart as he approached and felt weak in the knees when she tried to stand. She was trapped... Not quite really, but Hermione couldn't bring herself to move an inch. Instead, her eyes were locked on Draco's, enthralled and entranced by his meaningful gaze. He almost looked, sorrowful and remorseful. Hermione realized she wasn't breathing and forced herself to take a deep breath that felt icy when it reached her lungs. Sheer shock and fear overcame her and Hermione lost her courage as her eyes began to glass over. She knew she was about to break in front of him and yet, she didn't care.

Draco approached her, meeting her eyes with a soft gaze and gentle nature, unlike he had during their last meeting... or previous encounter. He smiled almost, dejectedly and true sorrow entered his eyes. "Hermione?" He questioned and Hermione took a deep breath.

"Don't... cal me that." Her voice cracked, breaking with every word and she swallowed.

Draco looked hurt and almost as if her comment had stung. "Granger, then?"

Hermione blinked rapidly to stop the flow of tears from falling. "No." She shook her head and stared at him honestly. "Don't call me by my name. Why don't you call me what you want to call me? Or what I am?"

"Hermione please, don't..."

"Don't what? You said it yourself. It's what I am. Say it Draco. Call me it. Mudblood." Hermione said. She needed to remain strong. She didn't understand what was happening or why he would choose to come to her completely and totallly humble but she couldn't fall for it. She couldn't fall for him, again. She couldn't give herself to him again. It would only cause her pain and grief.

Hermione looked Draco in the eye. He looked so... so... upset, as if he didn't even want to live. As if he had been going through the same pain as she had. Hermione reminded herself that he was the one who hurt her. That he was the one who shattered her heart into a million pieces. Hermione met his gaze again. Draco had lost that light... or sparkle in his eyes that she loved so much. Now, rather than a crystal blue grey, they were a stormy grey cloud, filled with misery. Draco truly looked miserable. He looked to sad and dejected that Hermione was tempted to take him back right then and there. But she knew she couldn't do that.

   So, Hermione stood and gathered her things. He allowed her to do so in silence and didn't try to stop her or interfere. She didn't understand it, but was glad he didn't try to stop her as Ron had always done. If he tried to make her stay, Hermione feared she'd give in. Hermione hurried as her heartbeat quickened. When she stood, Hermione reached into her bag and pulled out the book, his book. Fantastic Beasts. She let her fingers brush the indent of the title and swallowed hard. This meant she was giving him up completely and totally. Forever. With a deep breath, Hermione began to walk away. As she passed Draco, she laid the book on the table in front of him and whispered by his ear. "Goodbye Draco."

Hermione felt Draco shudder as their shoulders brushed and thought she heard him sob but it was said and done. She ran from the lobrary as fast as her feet would carry her through the halls and out of the castle. She couldn't bear to stay inside. All she could hear was his voice, ringing in her ears as he whispered her name over and over. She wanted to forgive him. To come running back into his arms. But she knew that she could never forget what had happened that day. What he had said and what he had done.

   Hermione ran until she reached the edge of the Forbidden Forest. She heard voices whispering her name over and over again as before but they were not deep and silk-like like Draco's. They were soft and beautiful. It wasn't Draco's voice, but the voices of women that lured her closer. Hermione complied, stepping closer to the forest, her hand outstretched and reaching forward to touch the leaves of the trees along the forest's edge. They were orange, and red, and all colors of fall. They looked so beautiful and hung loosely, about to fall from the trees that held them captive. They only needed a little push...

"Hermione!"

Hermione blinked and jerked her hand away from the edge of the forest. She spun around to see who had called her name and saw Harry and Ron running down the hill towards her. They looked almost distressed and worry creased Harry's brow. Ron looked frightened almost. When they reached her Harry stared at her as if she were insane. "What on earth are you doing?!" Hermione opened her mouth to respond but he shook his head. "Never mind. Hagrid needs is. He sent out a letter requesting us to visit him. He's just gotten back from Buckbeak's trial. That bloody ferret told his father and now both Hagrid and Buckbeak are in trouble."

   Hermione's eyes widened. "What?!" Harry nodded and turned around, expecting Hermione to follow, and she did. But tears streamed down her face as she followed them. She knew Draco was low, but not quite this low. But what hurt the most was the fact that he broke his promise. He'd lied to her. But he'd been lying this entire time. Not a single word he'd said had been true during their entire relationship. And what sung the most, was that she had been gullible enough to believe him. She'd let him make a fool of her, play with her emotions, and take her heart and break it. And for that, she could never forgive him.

Author's Note:

Okay! We've only got four more chapters! Almost done with book one. I know y'all are wondering but I can't say if the problem will be fixed in this book. You've probably assumed that it won't but I'm working on it and you'll find out soon enough. Even if the truth is revealed by the end of this book there will still be a lot of problems to resolve. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! Please leave a comment and a like, if you've already liked this story thank you for being such a supportive reader and please be sure to leave feedback. Love you guys! Have a good day or night or whatever time of day it is!