Y/n: "Yo, how've you been, Rin? Still a hardass tsundere?"

Rin stood speechless as Y/n smirked down at her.

Rin: "Y-... You're not real. This isn't happening."

Shirou: "He's real."

???: "Yeah, about as real as you can get anyway."

Rin jumped as she turned and saw Emiya standing nearby.

Emiya: "Thought I'd stop by and say hello while I'm around."

Rin: "A- Archer!?"

Emiya: "Hello, Rin. Shirou."

Shirou: "Hey, Archer."

Rin: "I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS!! FIRST OF ALL, SMALL CHILD! WHOMST!?"

Jack: "Hm? We're Jack."

Shirou: "Jack, huh? Nice to meet you. I'm Shirou."

Jack: "... You look like red coat guy."

Emiya: "Because he's me from the past."

Jack looked to Emiya, then looked back to Shirou before turning back to Emiya.

Jack: "White hair suits you better."

Emiya: "It's certainly better than being ginger."

Shirou: "Hey!"

Sakura: "Now now, Jackie. No need to go roasting Shirou."

Jack: "Kay!"

Rin: "S- So is she...?"

Sakura: "She's not my biological daughter, no."

Shirou: "You adopted her?"

Y/n: "In a sense. Believe it or not, she's a servant."

Rin: "Fuckin' run that by me again?"

Y/n: "She's a servant. Assassin class. Jack the ripper."

Rin flinched and stepped back upon hearing that name. She knew what Jack had done, but to connect such brutality with such an innocent face was more terrifying than it had any right to be.

Rin then spotted Illya and Chloe and, again, freaked out.

Rin: "How is Illyasviel alive!? I thought she got eighty-sixed in the grail war!"

Y/n: "Oh, Illya, Chloe and Irisviel are all servants as well. Illya and Irisviel are casters. Chloe's an archer."

Emiya: "Chloe's a god damned menace to society."

Y/n: "No argument there. That girl needs to physically be put on a leash. But, let's introduce you guys to the others, yeah?"

Y/n brought the two over as Ishtar looked over to them.

Ishtar: "Oh, hey. If it isn't the girl whose body I'm borrowing."

Rin: "I remember you! You were one of Y/n's servants in the grail war!"

Ishtar: "Indeed. I may as well reintroduce myself. I'm Ishtar. Goddess of war and beauty."

Rin: "Y- Yeah, I remember you."

Arcueid: "I'll go next before I deal with the old guy. My name is Arcueid Brunestud. I'm one of the other masters that Y/n works with."

Rin: "Arcueid, huh? Well, what kind of magecraft-"

Arcueid: "Oh, I'm a true ancestor. I mainly fight in melee, but I can use my marble phantasm and mystic eyes of enchantment any time I want."

Y/n: "She can also summon a fucking castle."

Arcueid: "And Mash doing the same thing isn't as cool?"

Y/n: "Lord Camelot and Millennium Castle Brunestud are fucking leagues different!"

Arcueid: "Well, I'm not gonna argue with that."

Rin: "So, this woman is..."

Zelretch: "The white princess of the true ancestors. The most powerful true ancestor and, I would brace yourselves for this one now, an Ultimate One."

Rin immediately took several steps back upon hearing that title. She knew of the Ultimate Ones and she knew how unfathomably powerful they were, so to meet one so casually was unnerving. Not to mention...

Rin: "Okay, so IS NOBODY GOING TO QUESTION WHY THE SECOND AND FIFTH MAGICIANS ARE HERE!?"

Aoko: "And you're certainly not questioning the sixth magician's presence."

Rin: "I've known Y/n for a while now so I'm kinda used to it! Next order of business, who is this woman and why do I want her to hug me!?"

Rin motioned towards Tiamat, who was smiling politely as she observed the converation.

Shirou: "So it's not just me."

Emiya: "She has that effect on people."

Tiamat: "I am Tiamat. Primordial goddess of Mesopotamia."

Y/n: "Basically the mother of all life."

Rin: "... Well that explains the hug thing. But what about tall, pale and sinister over there?"

Azathoth: "Hello. I am Azathoth, I'm the one who's not currently judging you based on your appearance."

Rin: "D- Did you just say Azathoth?"

Rin was in a state of sheer terror as she backed away from the group.

Y/n: "Don't let him intimidate you. He's more like a really laid back teacher than anything threatening."

Azathoth: "You have the balls to say that when I'm right here?"

Y/n: "Yes."

Azathoth blinked several times in astonishment. He was genuinely impressed that Y/n would just outright say he wasn't afraid of him.

Before long, the sound of an approaching gremlin alerted the group of the other masters' arrival.

After a while of getting everyone introduced and also calming Rin down after meeting Kama, the group started actually having fun. Zelretch and Aoko even stuck around to oversee the shenanigans as they unfolded. 

Rin was in a state of sheer panic as she had, not only a goddess with her body seated on one side of her, but she had her head in the lap of another goddess who seemed adamant on treating everyone except Y/n like they were her kids.

That was when she noticed the eleven gold rings on Y/n's hands.

Rin: "Hey, Y/n? What's with the rings?"

Y/n looked around at her before his expression darkened slightly. However he cracked a small smile as he held his hands up and looked at the rings.

Y/n: "These, Rin, are a parting gift from a certain caster who decided he'd worm his way into the lives of everyone in Chaldea."

Rin: "Parting gift?"

Y/n: "Doctor Romani Archaman, the head medical advisor at Chaldea and acting director until recently."

Rin: "Did he retire or something? Also what does this have to do with a caster?"

Y/n: "Romani was an alias. His true name was Solomon."

Rin's eyes widened as she realised what Y/n was wearing on his fingers.

Rin: "Fuck right off, no way!"

Y/n: "Mhm. These are Solomon's ten rings. The extra one is the seal of Solomon. His signet ring."

Arcueid: "Romani was a real piece of work. He made us all care about him as though he was our big brother or something..."

Gudako: "Which made it all the more painful to say goodbye."

Rin: "I- Is he-"

Emiya: "Solomon erased himself from the throne of heroes entirely. He's gone for good."

Y/n nodded whilst fighting back the tears that threatened to flow from his eyes. However Sakura held him and allowed him time to get himself under control.

Gudao: "Yeah. He sacrificed himself to help us. It'd take a long time to explain, but if not for him... I doubt most of us would be here."

Tiamat: "the immortality Goetia gained was removed by the Ars Nova and then Y/n proceeded to smack him senseless with the Ars Theurgia."

Rin: "I'm so confused right now."

Ishtar: "You get used to it."

Rin: "YOU MIGHT!"

Shirou: "So, is Chaldea going to be shut down?"

???: "Not if I have anything to say about it."

Everyone looked over and Waver instinctively tried to make himself seem as inconspicuous as possible as Reines stormed over.

Rin: "El Melloi."

Reines: "Hello, Tohsaka. Big brother, I can see you."

Zhuge: "N- No you can't."

Reines: "You're not exactly difficult to spot, you know."

Tiamat: "I'm afraid she has you there, Zhuge."

Reines: "Zhuge? His name is-"

Ophelia: "We know. We're just used to calling him Zhuge."

Reines: "... Explain."

Zhuge: "*sigh* I'm a pseudo servant."

Rin: "Wait, so you're like that girl there!?"

Ishtar: "Pretty much. Only in his case, Waver Velvet's personality took over while the servant possessing him takes a back seat. Said servant is Zhuge Liang by the way."

Reines: "The Chinese strategist?"

Ophelia: "The same. One of my other servants happens to be Chen Gong."

Gudao: "Chen God."

Y/n: "Machine Gong."

Gudako: "My allies are the bullets: caster edition."

Arcueid: "Can't commit a war crime if nobody's alive to witness it."

Ophelia: "... I hate how accurate all of those are."

Shirou: "I- I think we might need extra context."

Reines: "... Screw it. Might as well, nothing to do around here anyway. When do you lot go back to Chaldea?"

Arcueid: "We're due to go back tomorrow since the mage's association are dicks."

Reines: "Hm. Cool, I'm coming with you then."

Y/n: "You sure? You'll be dealing with a collection of the biggest fuckwits in human history."

Reines: "And I relish the opportunity to put them in their places."

Gilgamesh: "... So how much does everyone want to bet that she gives up after meeting Ash and Zerkerlot?"

Heracles: "Twenty thousand QP."

Rin: "YOU CAN TALK!?"

Heracles: "Were you unaware?"

Shirou: "I think it's because she thinks you're still berserker."

Rin: "HE'S NOT!?"

Heracles: "No, allow me to explain. I am an Archer servant. My berserker self is currently..."

*Meanwhile at Chaldea*

Hercules: "▂▂▃▃▅▅----▂▂▃▃▅▅■■■■ーー！！"

*Back with the main group*

Heracles: "He's currently in a rather excitable state..."

Gudako: "That's putting it lightly, Herc."

Y/n: "Well Zerkercles isn't the worst one we need to deal with."

Tiamat remained quiet for a bit before seeing the look in Y/n's and Sakura's eyes. Despite the fact that they hadn't seen Shirou and Rin for some time, there was still that look of knowing. Knowing that the time they would spend here with them was going to end. Naturally, it saddened them. 

However Tiamat was more than willing to voice her thoughts and ideas.

Tiamat: "Y/n. May I make a suggestion?"

Y/n: "Depends what it is, but go ahead."

Tiamat: "I assume the sad look in your eyes is because you know this meeting is temporary, yes?"

Rin and Shirou looked at Tiamat when they also realised it. They likely had no idea what was going to happen with Y/n and Sakura after the procurement of Chaldea.

Tiamat: "So, why don't we bring everyone with us?"

Y/n: "You can't be serious."

Tiamat: "I am. Besides, how is the Mages association going to stand up to the three great houses as well as the El-Melloi heir."

Reines: "She makes a good point. It might be in your best interests to tag along to Chaldea."

Rin: "But-... What about everything we have here?"

Ishtar: "Trust me. There's never a dull moment in Chaldea. Whether it's Gudao getting double teamed by Astolfo and d'Eon in the middle of the cafeteria-"

Gudao: "WE AGREED NOT TO TALK ABOUT THAT!!"

Ishtar: "You agreed with the other masters. I had nothing stopping me."

Gudako: "She's got you there."

Ishtar: "Oh, don't think I didn't find out about your little fling with Alexander either, Gudako. I know what happened."

Y/n: "Was that before or after the reverse gangbang."

Ophelia: "It was before."

Rin: "I'm scared to ask."

Emiya: "This kinda stuff happens all the time. Also get used to seeing clones of yourself. We've already got two Rin clones and another version of me."

Shirou: "Who's the other one?"

Emiya: "Angra."

While the others continued chatting about the various shenanigans that went on in Chaldea, Zelretch pulled Arcueid aside for a chat.

Zelretch: "You're smiling a lot more than I remember, Arcueid."

Arcueid: "You can thank those guys for that. They may be a ragtag team of idiots, but they're so much fun to be around."

Zelretch smiled as Arcueid laughed to herself.

Zelretch: "Then I see no harm in letting you stay with them."

Arcueid: "I was gonna stay anyway. Especially since..."

Arcueid looked over and smiled at the sixth magician as he lifted Jack onto his shoulders.

Arcueid: "Well... Let's just say I have my sights set on something."

Zelretch: "From the looks of things, you've got some serious competition."

Arcueid: "Heh... Fuckin' bring it, I say."

Zelretch smiled before motioning for the true ancestor to join the others. When she had rejoined their shenanigans, the second magician nodded to himself and turned to leave.

Aoko: "Going home, Zelretch?"

Zelretch: "Yes, I think I should. I came to see what the sixth magician can do and while I haven't seen him go all out yet, I am satisfied with what I have seen. What about you?"

Aoko: "I dunno. This Chaldea place sounds like a lotta fun."

Zelretch chuckled before waving as he walked off, leaving the Chaldeans and the others to laugh amongst themselves.

When finally the sun began to sink, the group parted ways. The next day was when the Chaldeans would return to their observatory. Rin and Shirou doubted they'd see each other again after that.

The two sat in silence in their apartment and thought of what they had been told. The many different servants. The places they'd seen. The people they'd met. It all sounded so surreal.

Shirou: "Maybe... It wouldn't be such a bad idea."

Rin: "Maybe... But think of what we'd be leaving behind."

Shirou: "Think of what we'd be gaining though. We'd be able to see and do things that the mage's association couldn't even dream of. Not to mention, we'd have Y/n and Sakura around. Not to mention, it's not every day you get to hang around with a true ancestor."

Rin laughed under her breath.

Rin: "You've got me there. Alright then. We'll get packed up and head for Heathrow airport first thing in the morning."

Shirou nodded with a smile before the two turned in for the night.

When the time came, the sun was covered by grey rainclouds. Shirou and Rin ran as fast as they could to try and find the others. They breathed a sigh of relief when they saw Aoko standing with a suitcase. The fifth magician smiled and waved to them as they walked over.

Aoko: "You two got here fast."

Rin: "Where are they?"

Aoko: "Apparently they should be pulling into the airport soon. They swung by to pick Reines up, so she's coming with."

Rin and Shirou both smiled until a familiar blue dress walked into view.

Both: "Oh no."

Luviagelita stormed over to them before grabbing Rin by the collar.

Luvia: "Explain, Tohsaka! What is the meaning of this sudden departure!?"

Rin: "I don't have to explain shit to you, Edelfelt!"

Aoko: "Things look like they're about to get interesting."

Aoko laughed to herself before looking up and seeing the others walking over.

Reines: "Edelfelt. What is the meaning of this?"

Edelfelt: "That's what I want to know! Why are you both leaving-"

Y/n: "I'm spitballing here, but I'd take a guess and say that they're comin' back with us. That about right, guys?"

Shirou: "We weren't about to pass up an opportunity like Chaldea."

Rin: "True. I mean, who else can say they've hung out with a true ancestor."

Luvia: "Repeat that?"

Arcueid: "Hey, the helicopter's gonna leave if we don't skedaddle soon."

Y/n: "True. No time for bullshittery. We out this bitch."

Luvia: "You're going with them too, Miss Aozaki?"

Aoko: "Mhm. I wanna see Chaldea for myself."

Gudao: "Oh great, two time manipulating morons!"

Aoko: "I promise I'm less of a menace."

Y/n: "Somehow I doubt that."

The two magicians laughed before Y/n started making his way towards the totally inconspicuous Chaldea staff member who was waiting for them. Once their baggage was placed in the helicopter's cargo hold, everyone was loaded up. Luviagelita managed to nag her way into coming with them, however she demanded that her belongings be delivered in a timely fashion.

While the rotors spun up, Y/n decided to drop the bomb on what he actually was.

Y/n: "Aight, since you fucks are coming to Chaldea I might as well let you in on the bullshit."

Aoko: "That you're not a mage?"

Luvia: "He is though. You saw it yourself."

Y/n: "I'm not. I'm a magician like Aoko."

Luvia: "... What?"

Rin: "So you can still pull the same shit from back in the fifth war, huh?"

Y/n: "My bullshit has been enhanced. Especially since I'm technically considered an evil of humanity as well."

Rin/Shirou/Luvia/Aoko: "... A what?"

Arcueid: "Oh yeah, Y/n's a beast. Specifically Beast VIII, the beast of eternity."

Shirou: "You're gonna need to explain what a beast is."

Aoko: "They're the biggest threat to humanity, fully capable of wiping us all out. But there's only seven of them, right?"

Y/n: "I'm the eighth. Tiamat over there's beast II."

Tiamat waved good-naturedly, causing the others to blink in surprise.

Rin: "So... What the fuck happened between the fifth war and now that made you like this?"

Ophelia: "It's difficult to explain."

Y/n: "You know how pseudo-servants are a thing?"

Rin: "Yeah."

Y/n: "That. But with multiple divine beings."

The others struggled to comprehend what they had been told, but they continued to talk as the helicopter flew from London to Chaldea. The others pulled on large winter jackets and passed some to the others before stepping out into the unforgiving cold.

Luvia: "So this is Chaldea!?"

Y/n: "Yup! Forecast says blizzards all year round!"

Rin: "IT'S FUCKING FREEZING HERE!!"

???: "I actually find it rather pleasant out here."

Rin jumped as Anastasia appeared next to her.

Gudako: "Hey Anastasia! Been keeping the others out of trouble?"

Anastasia: "Do you really expect me to be able to contain that lot?"

Y/n: "She makes a good point. Has Shinbei been keeping them in line?"

Anastasia: "He has, though..."

Y/n: "... Oh god what happened?"

Anastasia: "You should see for yourself."

Once everyone's bags were unloaded, then the group headed into the observatory. Upon the doors opening, the first thing to greet the masters was the smiling face of Mash Kyrielight.

Y/n immediately hugged her as he walked in. The two had become rather close after all.

The three ways with Mash's alter self were just the icing on the cake.

Mash then lead the group of mages and magicians to the command room where Da Vinci was standing near the main control panel. Next to her was Haruna.

Y/n: "Haruna!"

Y/n's sister turned to him with a smile as he ran over.

Haruna: "Hey, Y/n. Miss me?"

Y/n: "Shouldn't you be resting right now?"

Da Vinci: "I've been arguing with her about it for an hour now, Y/n."

???: "I personally confirmed that she seems to be clear of any and all symptoms of illness."

Y/n turned to see Nightingale with her clipboard.

Nightingale: "I don't know what happened, however she has begun to recover at an extraordinary rate."

Rin: "This place is so fucking cool, holy shit."

Da Vinci: "Oh, I didn't see we had guests. Mind introducing me?"

Mash: "I'm also curious."

Y/n: "I'm sure you recognise the body Ishtar's borrowing. That's Rin Tohsaka."

Rin: "Hello."

Da Vinci: "A pleasure to meet you, miss Tohsaka."

Shirou: "I'm Shirou. Basically just younger Archer."

Y/n: "He's Emiya that was adopted by Emiya before he became Emiya."

Da Vinci: "... That made far more sense than it had any right to."

Y/n: "Good."

Luvia: "I am Luviagelita Edelfelt."

Da Vinci: "Oh, an Edelfelt, huh? Neat. What about redhead over there?"

Aoko: "Aoko Aozaki. I'm the one who taught Y/n how to use magic blue properly."

Reines: "I am Reines El-Melloi Archisorte. The head of the El-Melloi family."

Da Vinci: "Well, this is quite the star-studded cast, huh? Anyway, I am Leonardo Da Vinci. I'm serving as acting director of Chaldea until the new director is appointed. Welcome to Chaldea everyone."

Aoko: "Huh, so Da Vinci was a woman all along."

Da Vinci: "Nope. I was a man in life, but once I found out I can manipulate my ether body upon manifestation, I decided I was gonna live my second life as a woman."

Y/n: "She legit used the Mona Lisa as a template."

Da Vinci: "Can you blame me?"

Y/n: "Meh, guess not. Anyway, Anastasia said there was some fuckshit going down and I doubt it's Haruna's recovery."

Haruna: "You'd be right there. Said fuckshit's waiting in the cafeteria."

Y/n nodded and walked out of the command room to head to the cafeteria. He passed multiple servants, who all seemed to be on edge about something.

Y/n then opened the door and headed in. His eyes widened when he saw who was sitting at one of the tables with a tray of food in front of her.

Y/n: "Well now. You're certainly not someone I expected to be seeing again."

The being looked up and her eyes narrowed when she saw him.

???: "I certainly wasn't expecting to be here, but we can't all have nice things, huh?"

Y/n smirked as he remembered the conversation they had before they parted ways.

Y/n: "So about that working as allies thing we talked about."

???: "Shut up, VIII."

Y/n: "Just call me Y/n."

The servant lifted her head once more, this time with a toothy grin adorning her face.

???: "Well, in that case, just call me Draco."

End of Chapter.

Next Time: The Whore Returns.