The Faker Returns

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Y/n opened his eyes slowly as he felt a weight on top of him. Looking down, he found himself with a familiar eldritch goddess laying sprawled out on top of him with her head resting quite comfortably on his chest.

Y/n: "I really should've figured you'd sneak along with us."

Chiyo opened one eye and smirked as she saw Y/n looking down at her.

Chiyo: "This is quite the large room you know, Y/n... And I have you all to myself in here~"

Chiyo crawled up so she loomed over Y/n while the two lay in bed, however the door was abruptly thrown open as a certain Egyptian god walked in.

Sobek: "YO! COCKBLOCK EXTRAORDINARIE COMIN' IN HOT!"

Chiyo pouted angrily as Sobek grinned victoriously in the doorway.

Sobek: "Y/n, I'm just about to go for a run with the boys. You comin' with?"

Y/n chuckled before sitting up and quickly pulling some clothes on. He chose to wear a black tank top and casual sweatpants since it was all he really had on hand without going shopping, which was on the agenda.

He found it refreshing, jogging down Fuyuki's streets with the servants he had become so close with to the point of there being a near brotherhood between all of Chaldea's male servants and the masters. The staff had even become close friends with a lot of the servants.

Raikou had her own friend group amongst the analysis team with one of the members being a mother herself, so Raikou liked to get advice from her every now and again.

However, for the moment, the guys were just on a morning jog. Sobek and Anubis got a lot of looks due to the fact that they were arguably the most built out of the group aside from Iskandar. Edmond was also on the receiving end of the gaze of onlookers as his alabaster skin reflected the sunlight and fucking blinded people.

Astolfo was the odd one out in the group, as the most effeminate he stood out as the weakest looking even though as a servant he could still kick a human's ass in under ten seconds.

However the group continued to jog until they reached Fuyuki park. Anubis did some extra pushups for the hell of it while Iskandar tossed everyone a bottle of water.

While they rested, a group of girls spotted them from across the park and walked over. Y/n recognised the type immediately and alarm bells started ringing in his head.

Thankfully the other servants seemed to get the same impression. Before the girls could get to them however Gilgamesh decided to do a bit of trolling and he produced a mirror from the gate of Babylon while nobody was looking and he used it to blind the girls before everyone got up and made a break for it.

The next place they stopped was at a familiar place. Ryuudou Temple.

The guys didn't go up to it since Y/n was going to bring the other masters here as well as the other servants from the fifth grail war. Though he offhandedly wondered if Issei Ryuudou still lived up there.

However that was something to find out later. For the moment, he sat with the others as they rested in the shade, out of the heat of the sun.

Sobek: "So wait, why did we book it from those girls?"

Gudao: "Gyarus."

Y/n: "The worst kind of gold diggers. Don't get me wrong, they can be hot, but loyalty's the furthest thing from their minds."

Gudao: "True. They mainly just look for a one night pump and dump."

Astolfo: "With all due respect master, I doubt they could handle most of us. Even one-on-one."

The guys laughed until Gilgamesh stood up from where he was seated.

Gilgamesh: "We seem to have an uninvited guest."

Y/n looked to where Gilgamesh was pointing and saw a familiar person, one that Gilgamesh sneered at.

Gilgamesh: "Oh, the faker."

He hadn't noticed the group, so Y/n called out to him before he passed by.

Y/n: "Shirou!"

The ginger young man turned to Y/n and his eyes widened before running over.

Shirou: "Y- Y/n!? You're-"

Y/n: "Alive, well and with a new lung."

Shirou was almost speechless before he brought Y/n in for a hug. Y/n wasn't opposed to it, after all it had been several years since they last saw each other and Y/n had been through some shit since then.

Shirou: "How've you been? I tried visiting you at the hospital but they said you'd been moved."

Y/n: "Yeah, I got moved up to Chaldea. They took care of me and got me back on my feet, though my sister's partly to thank for that as well."

Shirou: "Haruna, huh? I heard she got promoted."

Y/n: "She did. She's one of the command team at Chaldea now."

Shirou chuckled before his eyes settled on Gilgamesh. He instinctively moved to trace a sword into his hand when Y/n stopped him.

Y/n: "He's not here to fight."

Shirou: "Don't tell me there's another grail war."

Sobek: "If there was, we wouldn't be here. We'd be hiding away. Not to mention, Anubis and I wouldn't have been summoned."

Anubis: "Hm, I feel like Y/n would bullshit the system even if there was a grail war."

Shirou's eyes widened when he heard the name Anubis.

Shirou: "A- Are all of you-"

Gudao: "All except Y/n and I. Yeah, they're servants."

Dantés: "I'm kind of insulted you don't remember me, Shirou Emiya."

Shirou: "Oh, you're Edmond, right? We didn't talk much, but I know you were one of Y/n's trump card servants."

Edmond: "Well I've since been outclassed by many others."

Y/n: "Oi, don't think like that. I still trust the guys from the fifth war slightly more than the others."

Astolfo: "Even me?"

Y/n: "Especially you."

Astolfo: "Good. Never trust the one who fucks his own master."

The guys shared a chuckle before Y/n got to introducing the new faces.

Y/n: "The big lad's Iskandar. He was the rider servant from the fourth grail war."

Shirou: "So you must've interacted with Kiritsugu at some point."

Iskandar: "I do apologise, but my memories of the fourth war have been mostly left hazy. Since coming to Chaldea's service, the other servants have been able to help me remember."

Y/n: "We've had to call in a certain eldritch horror goddess to do so. But anyway, the two tanned lads there are Sobek and Anubis."

Shirou: "I recognise the name Anubis, but Sobek isn't one I'm familiar with."

Sobek: "I'm essentially the god of the Nile and the god of crocodiles, I'm also the servant of one of the other masters."

Y/n: "He's Gudao's sister's servant. We have three other Egyptian gods in Chaldea as well, one of which couldn't leave due to the fact that she'd catch the attention of the mage's association in a heartbeat."

Sobek: "Yep. Anubis and I can blend in, but Isis can't. Her fucking descendants made up the Atlas Institute after all."

The group continued to chat until Y/n got a comms link from Ophelia. He brought up his communicator and answered the call.

Ophelia: "Y/n, where are you guys right now?"

Y/n: "Ryuudou temple, why?"

Ophelia: "Because Sakura, Gudako, Arcueid and I are waiting for you guys to get back so we can go shopping."

Y/n: "Oh shit, yeah. Ight, give us a few minutes. We're bringing a friend."

Ophelia: "Don't take too long. I've heard from Leysritt that there are some... Interesting girls around here."

Iskandar: "We ran into, and subsequently away from, a few earlier."

Shirou: "Oh, those kinds of girls? Yeah, they've been running rampant across Fuyuki lately."

Y/n chuckled before finishing the call with Ophelia and heading back with everyone. They dragged Shirou with them since Sakura would want to see him.

The group made their way back to the Einzbern castle while Y/n finished introducing the other servants. Shirou recognised Waver from when they spoke briefly in the halls of the clock tower, however Y/n warned him of Astolfo.

Finally, they arrived at the Einzbern castle, where a familiar group of Servants was waiting alongside the other masters.

Some other servants from the fifth war had shown up. Saber and Lancer Artoria were both present with Mordred. Sasaki Kojirou had also shown up with Medea. Cú Chulainn was also present with Heracles.

Shirou immediately jumped as he saw Heracles' massive stature, however this was Archer since Berserker was still a bit too... Excitable to be let out of Chaldea for the moment.

Sakura immediately greeted Shirou with a hug since, again, it had been a long time since they last saw each other.

The group that was set to go shopping then headed out and left the others to chill in the castle. The group consisted of all six masters, Shirou, Illya, Medusa, Kojirou, Medea, Heracles, Saber Artoria, Lartoria, Mordred and Chiyo.

The group started out by going to buy clothes at the local mall. It was suggested that everyone go in pairs or groups of three, as such, Sakura and Medusa formed a pair.

Illya and Heracles formed another pair while Arcueid, Ophelia and Gudako formed another group. Mash and Medea were going together while Gudao and Kojirou formed a pair. Lartoria and Mordred decided to stick together while Saber Artoria, Y/n and Shirou went as a trio. Though technically there were four since Chiyo was hiding out in Y/n's shadow.

Anyway, the three that weren't hiding made their way firstly to a clothes store since Y/n didn't have anything aside from his Chaldea uniform. While Y/n picked out some clothes, he caught up with Shirou. Apparently he had managed to catch the attention of a woman from the Edelfelt family. Y/n chuckled as Shirou told him about Rin's jealous bouts against her self-proclaimed rival.

Y/n then told Shirou about some of the shenanigans that went on in Chaldea, Shirou had no idea that so many servants even existed, though he did find it funny that Archer was acting as one of the head chefs at Chaldea.

Artoria also told Shirou about the other knights of the round table like Percival and Gareth. Though Tristan's drunk tirades were also a topic of much hilarity, especially when Zerkerlot egged him on.

After an hour of picking out some comfortable clothes, the three came across a familiar face as she did some window shopping.

Shirou: "Yo! Taiga!"

The English teacher perked up upon hearing Shirou's voice and her eyes widened when she saw Y/n in his Chaldea uniform.

Taiga: "No way, Y/n!?"

Y/n: "Yo, been a minute, huh?"

Taiga: "Understatement! It's been, like, several years since you were last in Fuyuki! When did you wake up?"

Y/n: "About... A year ago? No, not quite... Maybe eleven months or so ago."

Taiga: "And you never even thought to call!?"

???: "To be fair, it's not like he could. There's no reception at Chaldea."

The four turned as Kama walked over. Her usual attire, if it could even be called that, was replaced with actual clothes consisting of a crop top and a matching pair of sweatpants.

Taiga: "S- S- SAKURA!?!?"

Y/n: "Yo, Kama. When did you get here?"

Kama: "Not long ago. Thought I'd come in something that covers less skin than usual though, whaddya think?"

Y/n: "Par picked that outfit for you, didn't she?"

Kama: "Shut it."

Taiga: "Uh Y/n? Who is this and why does she resemble Sakura so much?"

Y/n: "Oh right, this is Kama. As for why she resembles Sakura... Coincidence, I guess."

Taiga: "Oh! Speaking of! Have you even bothered to call Sakura yet!? She must be worried sick about you!"

Y/n: "I have, don't worry. Sakura's actually here in Fuyuki as well."

Taiga: "Seriously!?"

Kama: "Geez, do you only communicate by shouting?"

Taiga: "Sorry, I'm just trying to wrap my head around so much right now."

Artoria: "You can't exactly be blamed for that, Taiga."

Taiga: "Oh yeah! When did Saber get here?!"

Kama: "You know her?"

Artoria: "Yes, when I was here in 2004 Taiga was living with Shirou, so I saw her quite often."

Kama: "Huh. Cool."

Taiga then tagged along with the group as they continued their shopping spree. Y/n could tell that Taiga was still trying to process the information she had been given. Though if she knew the truth, she'd probably have a mental breakdown.

They all stopped at a café where Y/n had told the others to meet with them when they were finished.

Taiga: "So you guys are all heading to London tomorrow?"

Y/n: "That's the plan, yeah. We were originally planning to drop in and see Shirou and Rin there, but looks like it's just Rin we're gonna be surprising."

Shirou: "I head back tonight, so I'll see you guys when you get there."

Y/n: "Huh, well ain't that timing at its finest?"

Azathoth: "More like the plot doing its thing."

Taiga: "So, Y/n. What are those rings you're wearing?"

Shirou: "Oh yeah, I noticed that some of the others were wearing similar ones. Is it like a thing for you guys?"

Kama: "One of the workers at Chaldea gave them the rings as a parting gift since he was retiring."

Taiga: "Oh, nice. Sounds like he was a nice guy, huh?"

Y/n bit the inside of his cheek before speaking.

Y/n: "Yeah. You could say that."

Shirou noticed the pain in his voice, however he didn't say anything as the others showed up.

Gudako: "Sup, bitches? Yo, Kama, when did you get here?"

Kama: "Not long ago."

Sakura: "Oh! Miss Fujimura!"

Taiga: "Sakura! You didn't even bother to stop by and say hello!?"

Sakura: "I've been pretty busy."

Medusa: "Not to worry, I've been keeping my eye on her."

The mages and servants spent about two hours in the café just talking absolute shit while enjoying some ice cream since it was hot out.

Taiga found herself constantly looking almost directly up whenever Heracles was talking due to his massive size. He easily clocked in at around eight feet tall, so Taiga was almost miniscule compared to him. Though his massive stature earned him some looks from throughout the café. On a few occasions, some children would walk up to him curiously, to which he would simply smile down at them. Due to the mental link he shared with his servants, Y/n could tell that Heracles' smile was due to the immense pride he felt in being able to help restore human history for these kids.

Y/n personally didn't like kids all that much, though there were exceptions.

When the group was done, they all started heading back to the Einzbern castle. As they walked however, Y/n saw the site where the Matou house once was. Sakura spotted it as well and shuddered at the thought of what happened there. 

Y/n put his arm around her as they walked and Sakura almost instinctively leaned her head on his shoulder.

Taiga unfortunately had to leave as she had to do some stuff back at home. So she said her farewells before everyone headed back to the Einzbern castle. When they arrived, Leysritt and Sella had already set lunch out for everyone so they were able to set their bags down and dig in immediately.

Gilgamesh kept referring to Shirou as "The Faker" which caused a bit of tension between the two, however no hostilities arose due to it.

Eventually however, Shirou had to head out so he could head to the airport and catch the next flight to London. He promised not to tell Rin about the upcoming visit, but he gave Y/n a general area to look for the two when they arrived.

Everyone was rather looking forward to the London leg of their trip. Though they would need to head back to Chaldea after their visit was over. If the mages at the clock tower found out, there'd be hell to pay.

Eventually though, the day transitioned to night as Y/n sat in the main lounge of the Einzbern castle.

???: "Oh, you're awake too?"

Y/n turned and saw Illya walking over to him, rubbing her eyes as she had just woken up.

Y/n: "Can't sleep?"

Illya: "Mhm. I'm too excited about tomorrow."

Y/n smiled before motioning for Illya to follow him.

The two walked through the castle halls together and talked about various things. Mainly the memories they never got to share. Y/n told Illya about how he wished he could have raced her down the halls of the castle. Get them both into trouble with Sella. He talked about the time they never got to spend together. He talked about how he felt like a failure for letting her down that day. The guilt weighed heavy on both his and Sakura's minds for the coming years. However they managed to put it aside when Haruna got Y/n a job in the mages association. From there, he worked his ass off until the explosion that claimed his lung.

Illya comforted her cousin and reminded him that he didn't need to feel bad for the time they lost, he just needed to keep being him.

Eventually, the two found themselves outside on one of the balconies, looking out across the tops of the trees that surrounded the castle.

Illya: "... Hey, let me ask you something."

Y/n: "Shoot."

Illya: "Are you happy now? We did what we set out to do. We saved all of human history and yet..."

Y/n: "Nobody will know us or thank us for it. That's fine with me. As fucked as this timeline may be, all things correct themselves eventually. There's a saying I like to think of when I think of this timeline."

Illya: "Hm?"

Y/n: "Hard times create strong men. Strong men create good times. Good times create weak men. Weak men create hard times. I like to think that the world is currently in the midst of hard times created by weak men. Humanity'll correct itself in time. If not, then your cousin'll just have to kick their asses until they get their shit together."

Illya laughed as Y/n lead her back into the castle. Once she had returned to her room, Y/n decided to head to his room as well. He needed to rest in order to be up on time to catch the flight to London. Before that though, he wanted to get some water.

As he filled his glass, he sensed a certain caster walking into the room.

Y/n: "Need something, Medea?"

Medea: "Nothing in particular. I just happened to overhear your chat with miss Illya."

Y/n: "I know what I said was cheesy, but you've gotta bear with me on that shit."

Medea: "Not at all. I think you were right on the money."

Medea remained silent until Y/n finished his water. When the two left the kitchen, the caster spoke again.

Medea: "I've been speaking to a lot of the other servants lately. All of them agree on one thing."

Y/n: "Oh? What might that be?"

Medea: "History may have played out differently if you were with us in our lives. Lady Brynhildr would have felt some semblance of comfort in Sigurd's absence. Lord Jason may not have been such a douchebag."

Y/n: "Doubt."

Medea: "You get my point though, right? If you had been at our sides in our lives, perhaps those of us that met tragic ends may have avoided that and lived happily. Perhaps the battle of Camlann would never have happened if you were a knight of the round table during Artoria's reign."

Y/n: "All speculation. What happened cannot and should not be changed. They shaped humanity as it is now, whether they're doomed to repeat the mistakes of the past or not is completely down to them. I'm content knowing that they don't have to burn for the sin of being human."

Medea: "And next you're going to say something dumb."

Y/n: "So now comes the outlawing and subsequent annihilation of all religion!"

Medea laughed with Y/n as they reached the room that the caster was staying in.

Medea: "Well, we'd best prepare for the trip tomorrow. Little Jackie will be joining us as I remember."

Y/n: "Emiya too."

Medea: "Archer or assassin?"

Y/n: "Both, I believe."

Medea: "Well, that'll certainly be interesting at the baggage check."

Y/n chuckled before saying goodnight and turning to walk away before he felt Medea's hand on his cheek. She quickly kissed his cheek before vanishing into her room, leaving Y/n stunned temporarily.

Y/n: "... Huh. Get done, Jason."

Y/n chuckled to himself as he returned to his room for the night.

London was when the real fifth war reunion took place, with some additions of course.

Y/n couldn't help but be very excited about messing with Rin in her new stomping grounds.


End of Chapter.

Next Time: London: Without the Fog.

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