Chapter twenty nine

         Ugh...Everything hurts...Was I uncatious? for how long? I think I hear someone...

         "I want Nishi to be watched 24/7 from now on." Sinbad's powerful order woke Nishi up more, but she pretended to be asleep. "We can't risk her meeting Judar again. Ja'far, you take first shift."

         "Yes, of course."

         Why do I have to be watched all the time...? Judar? Nishi opened her eyes and tried to sit up quickly, everything that had happened rushing back to her. She stopped and groaned in pain as her body protested. Lying back down, she looked around to find she was in her room, Ja'far sitting across the room.

         "You've finally woken up?" He stood and walked to the bed. "How are you feeling?"

         "Horrible." Nishi muttered. "How long was I out?"

         "Almost two weeks now." Ja'far answered, a concerned look on his face.

         "Wow...Why's there so many rukh around here?" Nishi asked mostly to herself, knowing Ja'far couldn't see them. Thankfully it's only white rukh...

         "I'm not sure. It's been like this since you came back." Ja'far looked around them as well.

         "You can see them? There really is a lot then..."

      "Yes. But I have to ask you some things, how did this happen? Besides the wound on your abdomen, there are several other serious wounds."

         "Oh...Right..." Nishi thought over everything that happened while staring at the ceiling.

         "If you survive, meet in the usual spot."

         He really expects me to meet him? After everything he's done to me? He doesn't even care about me... He lied this whole time... Yet I still want to see him. I want to fix things... Nishi sighed, "I was just walking around and a black metal vessel user attacked me. He was sent by Judar."

         "A black metal vessel user?" Ja'far echoed, he sounded like he didn't believe that was all.

         "I know. How did just a metal vessel user beat me to a pulp? It was a bit more complicated than that..." Nishi's mind went to a dark place again. "What's the worst thing you did as an assassin, Ja'far?" She sat up slightly and looked at him.

         He frowned and seemed visibly uncomfortable with the question. "You don't have to answer. I assume Sinbad's already told you, right? About Kana?"

         "Yes. Some of it." Ja'far nodded.

         "One of the worst things I did back then...I murdered a kid and his mom... The kid was only seven, I, myself, was eleven or so..." Nishi stared at the ceiling as she explained. "I don't know how much he told you, but I was killed by a thief in my first life. That thief killed my first love and me because he wanted revenge for what I did to his family."

         "They were his family?"

         "Yeah. And somehow that guy lived after that, keeping himself young with Al-Thamen's help, and was sent to kill me again."

         "You mentioned Judar, was he there too?"

         "No..." Nishi lied. Her heart felt like it was breaking just hearing the magi's name. So many different emotions and memories swirled around her head, she barely knew what was real. The more she thought, the more she felt like Kana's memories were becoming Nishi's. "I'm sorry, Ja'far...I can't answer more questions..."

         "That's fine. I can ask again later." Ja'far agreed. "You should stay in bed."

       "I need to pee." Nishi forced herself to sit up. Ja'far moved closer to help her, who she stubbornly shook off. She paused for a few moments before standing up, wobbling a little. "Can you get me some food, please?"

      Ja'far paused for a moment. He knew she was supposed to be watched 24/7, but she also hadn't eaten in two weeks. "Alright. I'll be right back." He agreed before leaving the room hesitantly.

        Nishi slowly made her way to the bathroom before locking herself in and leaning against the wall. She panted for a few moments before pushing off the wall to stand up straight. "I know it's a bad idea...But I need to get rid of the thing hiding my rukh. I-" She tried to catch her breath more. "Damn, I wish I could heal myself."

       She sighed and removed the spell protecting her rukh. Nishi looked around and wasn't shocked to see the number of black rukh had doubled, if not, tripled. Why bother hiding it at this point? I'm falling, and honestly, I understand why. I didn't deserve anything that happened to me. Everyone like that should pay.

         Nishi shook her head again, Stop it. That was so long ago, you've moved on. Stop. She felt like there were two completely different people battling inside of her, and she didn't know who she was anymore.

         Then there was another part of her that still loved and missed Judar. The part of her that just wanted to leave Sindria and visit him again so she could try and fix everything. I know he feels something. He has to... But he said it was all Al-Thamen's plan... He probably was lying about his feelings. Nishi's thoughts came full-circle, right back to being angry and depressed.

         "Nishi?"

         She pulled open the door to see Ja'far entering the room, tray of food in-hand. "Hey..."

         "Why don't you go back to bed?" He suggested. Nishi didn't bother arguing.

         She slowly lied back down and accepted the food tray from Ja'far. She looked down at the tray, she was starving, but at the same time she didn't want to eat. Ignoring the nauseous feeling in her stomach, Nishi proceeded to eat while not saying a word to Ja'far.

         "Nishi, is something else bothering you?" Ja'far broke the silence after a while.

         "No. Nothing." Nishi shook her head.

         "Are you sure?"

        "Mhm. I feel fine, besides all of this of course." She gestured to the bandages covering her body.

        Ja'far sighed, "Alright. I'm going to go, then. One of the other generals will be in to watch you shortly." Nishi nodded and continued eating her food as he left.

         "Nishi!!" A man much too old for screaming and running to hug people did exactly that to the broken magi, nearly throwing the tray of food across the room. "I'm glad you're okay!"

         "S-Sharrkan!" Nishi winced in pain as he hugged her, "Get off!"

         "Sorry, sorry!" Sharrkan apologized as he quickly got off. "How do you feel?"

         "In a bit more pain now, cause some idiot doesn't think about things before doing them." Nishi became slightly annoyed.

         "Sorry..." Sharrkan chuckled and awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck.

      Nishi smiled a little then asked, "Anything new going on? Have you heard from Alibaba recently?"

         "Yeah, he's in Reim training as a gladiator now. And Aladdin's in Magnostadt. I don't remember where Morgiana was going though..." Sharrkan explained.

         "Magnostadt? Hm..." Nishi thought for a bit.

         "Eh? You care more about him than my pupil?!" Sharrkan exclaimed.

         "Well, Aladdin is a magi like I am...And a magician." Nishi raised an eyebrow at the swordsman.

         "Hmph. You magi and your stupid magic." Sharrkan crossed his arms and pouted.

       Nishi chuckled lightly before looking out the window across the room. I want to talk to Judar...And maybe Aladdin can help me...Before I really lose myself...

 ~