Sadly, my inner goddess is sulking, perched on a stool, hunched over her drink in a dingy bar with absolutely no dance moves. My reflection in the bathroom mirror knits her brow and frowns at me. I don't even have the energy to bite my lip.

Everyone is ganging up on me.

What's your problem? My reflection scolds. Get your act together! So what if Crispin's a shapeshifting, flesh-eating monster with an unhealthy lunar addiction? A dangerous creature destined to hurt you emotionally if not physically. He's good-looking and probably great in bed. Did you see that bulge in his pants? His bank account? You can't have everything.

Are my eyebrows that unruly? I reply.

Why are you analyzing your eyebrows at a time like this? March your pert breasts out there and bag that billionaire.

I gulp. What if I'm the one who ends up in a bag? A body bag? I can't die right now.

Why not?

Because look at those eyebrows! Did my reflection just roll her eyes at me? This is what I get for talking to myself. He's not even home, I protest.

Do I have to do all the thinking? I'm not even real. Talk to Raquel. Pump her for information.

What if she's a werewolf too?

So?

Look at those claw marks on the walls. They're deep. And scary. And slashy.

It's only a crescent moon, remember? You're good.

What if werewolves can transform whenever they want? We don't know the actual rules. Am I really considering the possibility that Crispin is a werewolf?

As long as he doesn't sparkle in the moonlight, I think everything will be fine.

Oh great! I hadn't even thought about werewolves that sparkle!

I hold on to the edges of the golden sink, glare at my reflection, stamp my foot and declare: "I refuse to be the awkward, clumsy, unattractive girl with mommy issues, who falls for a mercurial, piano-playing, godlike being who is obsessed with my scent and wants to either eat/bite/spank/possess/deflower/marry me. Plus, I've already lost my virginity, so he can't have it anyway," I blurt out loud.

Rap rap rap. Someone's knocking on the door. "Are you alright in there?" It's Raquel. "I heard talking. Something about virginity?"

I flush. Not the toilet. My cheeks, okay?

She heard me talking to myself. OUT LOUD? "I'm .. uh ... fine. Didn't hear anything about virginity in here. Must've been outside," I lie. "Be right out."

I flush, the toilet this time, turn on the faucet, and soap up my hands. The soap smells like him. Like Crispin. Holy crap! I want him. I need him!

Quickly, I dry my hands and run my fingers along one of the deepest gashes in the wall, imagining his long fingers running along my sex. Giving me multiple orgasms.

Eh, maybe he's a vegetarian werewolf. I open the door, and head out of the bathroom, biting my lip, my inner goddess twerking with aplomb, every molecule in my body determined to bag my billionaire.

***

"That took a while," Raquel says. "Are you alright?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" I ask, kind of annoyed that she'd mention how long I spent in the bathroom. So rude!

"Some hirees have taken issue with the .. shall we say, bathroom décor?"

"I know what you mean. Way too much gold. So ostentatious. Wait, did you say, 'other hirees?'" Why does this make me insanely jealous? Who are these bitches, and how do I destroy the lot of them like obnoxious alarm clocks?

Raquel smirks at me. Smirks! She looks up at the ceiling, deep in thought. "There was Ava and Mallory and Jess and Leigh and Hannah and Grace and Paula and Van and Rodney ..."

"Rodney?" I interrupt. Curiosity overtaking the jealousy for a moment.

"Yes, but he didn't last long. Too grumpy, and he kept helping himself to the Scotch. Did you really assume you were the first?"

"I hadn't really thought about it," I say, clenching my fists. "I may not be the first, but I intend to be the last."

"We shall see," Raquel says, skepticism heavy in her tone. "Follow me, and let's get started."

***

That night, I shamble through the front door of our apartment half-dead.

But half-dead is better than full-dead. Raquel didn't turn into a wolf and eat me. So that's something! I also had no opportunity to ask her about werewolves, sparkly or otherwise. Not because I didn't want to know but because I didn't want to sound like a lunatic. Better to bide my time and discover the truth in a less obvious, less crazy-sounding manner.

Clary must've gone to bed, which is good. I need to vigorously-discuss how she tricked me into meeting a handsome rich billionaire. But I don't have the energy for a good verbal lashing right now. My legs are jelly. My hair is a rat's nest. My back is aching.

I'm not exhausted from trying to absorb the plethora of Bella rules, including food requirements, location and quantity of treats, grooming, playtime rituals, sleeping arrangements, acceptable television content, etc. No, it is from the flip flop of emotions I've withstood today by entering the orbit of Crispin Shades.

I'm already rotating around him and worry that my life will soon become meaningless except for Crispin. I will forget to feed my fish. Talk about him incessantly until I become so annoying no one will want to associate with me. The sun will rise and fall on him. Same with the moon. Also, what will happen when it's a full moon? Will the sex be even better because he'll lose all control?

And why am I so certain that Crispin wants me for anything beyond dog sitting?

Maybe it's because of the copy of Tess of the d'Urbervilles I found in my backpack when I was leaving the tower and the note included that read "Why didn't you tell me there was danger? Why didn't you warn me?"

Which translates to: I want to have sex with you and make you mine, but I don't want you to say I didn't tell you about the risks upfront. I retrieve the book now and open the front cover. Inside, written in a modern font on the front face, it says Penguin Classics, 2019.

What the hell, Crispin? No first edition?

***

Hope you had fun with this brief, yet literarily masterful chapter. I'm planning to submit it for a Nobel Prize and a Booker. I really think it has a chance.

Thank you again for reading, voting, commenting, and just being awesome!

***

Dedicated this chapter to Aurelia_blair as a thank you for all the comments on pretty much all my stories. I get so excited when I see she's commented. Thank you!!!!