She was laying on the sofa, her legs supported by the pillows, it was her last trimester. She got bigger, and eventually spared his kurta as she had torn one. He remembered her sitting on the sofa crying when he had returned. She was clutching her dupatta as she sniffed into it. He had ran to her, "Are you okay?"

She looked up her face had glowed up, her complexion brightened up more because of the hormones. Her cheeks had filled up, and she looked adorable as she wiped her eyes.

"Murtasim... "

She cried out now hysterical as she hugged his arm, he caressed her hair, and asked her, "Batao na kya hua?"

She took a deep breath and started sharing, "Woh mai na fridge se ice cream  nikal rhi thi, mai thoda sa bend hui aur kurta phat gaya"

His eyes went to the torn kurta she still wore, from the side. He wiped away the tear from one side as he cupped her face, she was biting her lips trying to control the sob. She pointed to the other side and he laughed, wiping away the other side.

"Has kyun rahey hai aap?"

She almost whined, she was crying and Mahjabeen thought he would sympathize with her. But his laugh irked her, she was getting fatter and he was laughing at her predicament instead of soothing her.

She huffed and crossed her arms across her chest, her eyes squinting as she glared at the wall. Murtasim bumped his shoulder with hers, playfully, she gave him a glare.

He was gazing at her softly, with love, she had become extremely concious of her weight and would start a fight on the smallest problems. He could no longer tease her, as her emotions were on edge and she wanted his constant approval.

"Accha Baba, nahi hasunga", he apologized with sincerity, she searched his eyes and nodded. But that didn't solve her trouble, she was still crying. Murtasim sighed and pulled her in a hug, as she snuggled into his chest.

"Mahjabeen batao toh masla kya hai?" she closed her eyes, a tear falling from her eyes, he couldn't bare her tears. It hurt him, he had been struck twice with a bullet but he would still take a bullet to his than making her cry.

"Arrey Mahjabeen ye kurta purana wala hai. Ye kaise fit hoga tumhe?" he lied eyeing the baby bump, her body had grown with her belly.  The back aches, the nausea and the hormones affected her and since this was a new experience for the two of them it was too raw.

"Woh nahi hai..."

She whispered pulling away from the hug, she looked into his eyes loving the way he gazed at her. His soft eyes comforted her and she gulped, gesturing him to bring his ear closer.

"Agar baby mere jaisa nikla toh.. Aap usse chod denge kya?" she asked her voice cracking, Mahjabeen had this thought since the past month and it was killing her. What if the baby was dumb? Would Murtasim abandon it or give it away like her father did to her?

Anwar Khan was her father, she grasped the concept of parenthood very well. She  couldn't understand how could someone abandon an innocent baby, their own flesh and blood because they were grieving. She was an unwanted kid, what if her baby went through the same? What if Murtasim left her because he disliked her kid and her?

She felt the bump on her stomach, her eyes going to her feet as she continued, "Allah aapka dimaag de isko, mere jaisa raha tha isko koi nahi apnayega".

Like her, the baby would be given away, she had no power. Mahjabeen's mind was in a chaos, as Murtasim kneeled down. His eyes were red, tears welled in his eyes, the words she uttered hurt him.

"Mahjabeen...", he started breathlessly, intwining their fingers he placed it on his cheek. And he hugged her, his head against the baby bump, feeling for the movement.

"Tumhe abhi andaza nahi hai..  Ke mai tumhe kitna chahta hu", he said a tear dropping from his eyes, as he looked up to meet her beautiful eyes. She cupped his cheeks hating the sight of tears in his eyes, he barely cried and when he did it was heartbreaking. She wanted to take back her words, the words that made him cry, the words that hurt him.

Mahjabeen didn't acknowledge his tears,  just caressed his head, as he continued, " Biwi ho tum meri, magar usse pehle meri mohabbat ho. Aur ye baccha kaisa bhi ho mere jaisa akdu ya tumhara tarah rothdu, mujhe Qubool hai".

Mahjabeen melted, his words stirred away the insecurity in her mind as she nodded. Kissing his head, as he hugged her, feeling the babies movement.

Mahjabeen was falling in love again with Murtasim and the baby that was yet to come. She was nervous, excited and overwhelmed, they had prepared a list of names but she was unsure.

Presently she was watching a show, he pressed kiss on her forehead making her smile. She gave him a loving look and then went back to her show.  He sat beside her as she shifted, he wrapped his arms around her, she was watching Naagin.

"Lautt aayi hai woh poonam ki raat jab ek Naagin... "

"TV par lagadu?" He asked her she shushed him, it was the mega episode. Her eyes widened as she watched the drama in awe, Murtasim couldn't believe she was actually enjoying the show, instead of laughing.

What was his wife?

__

It was almost midnight, Murtasim would arrive late so Maa Begum was looking after Mahjabeen. She gave her the haldi dudh, and helped her to the bed.

"Murtasim jab paida honey wala tha, tab mera bhi pait aise nikla tha. Mujhe lagta hai ladka hoga", She said with a longing look, her eyes filled with love as she took Mahjabeen's hand in hers.

"Agar ladki hui toh?" Mahjabeen asked, she didn't care about the gender but her mother in law did. Maa Begum smiled and placed her hand on head to bless her, "Toh woh ikdam tumhari tarah ho, pyaari si"

Mahjabeen giggled, as Maa Begum called the servant to massage her legs.

"Doctor ne pichle appointment m kya bataya tha?"

"Sab theek tha bas Sugar level high hogya tha..."

Maa Begum nodded and said, "Dawai lelo aur ahtiyat rakho mere bacche".

Before she could leave Mahjabeen stopped her, "Maa Begum...aap kya mujhe meri Ammi ke baarey m bata sakti hai"

Mahjabeen was curious about her mother, the woman who must have waited for her arrival but died before she could be a lasting memory in Mahjabeen's mind. It must have been heartbreaking, she unconsciously caressed her bump, feeling emotional.

"Tumhari Ammi... Ikdam tumhari jaisi thi"

Nadia was innocent, curious and extremely beautiful. Her beauty was bewitching, she got many proposals and one of them was from Shadab Mirza, an influential writer and public figure. Nadia had accepted it, and started like this man but on the day of her wedding he didn't came. He left her with shame and rejection on her big day, she lost face and her confidence.

Mahjabeen could relate with this, she had went through the same thing. She empathized with her mother more, Rohail had done the same to her.

Anwar Khan had agreed to marry her, it wasn't a happy wedding.  They had an understanding, both knew this marriage was forced by the circumstances. But your mother fell in love with her husband and so did he eventually.

"Did my father blame me for her death?" she asked vulnerability in her voice, Maa Begum shook her head.

"He was broken, lost, he felt as if he couldn't give you the love you deserved"

Mahjabeen felt a stab in her heart, "Woh koshish karsakte they... Mai yatim toh nahi thi. Kabhi beta bolkar mera sar par haath rakh sakte. He never wanted me in last twenty years, but as soon as he heard that I wanted to make the big decision of my life, he suddenly thought he had the rights to intervene in my life".

Maa Begum sighed and replied softly, knowing this was affecting her, " Mahjabeen mujhe nahi pata Anwar k dimaag m kya chal raha tha, sach bolu toh mai bhi is faisle ke khilaaf thi. But Shahnawaz had the final say in this matter"

The door opened as Maa Begum quickly wiped away the tears, her son greeted them and went to the washroom. "Tum zyaada socho mat Mahjabeen, kal Anwar ko bhejungi usse direct ye sawal Kar lena"

Mahjabeen nodded, as she left.

The next morning Mahjabeen's eyes opened to find Anwar sitting beside her his eyes closed, as he was rolling the bead of tasbih praying for her.

When he realised she was gazing at him, he placed the tasbih on the table and smiled at her.

"Kaisi ho?"

"Theek hu. Maa Begum ne bheja aapko?" She asked as he nodded.

"Mahjabeen I know, I failed you. You were never unwanted, I wasn't a very good father. I wanted you to grow up in a loving family and not with a broken father. I never blamed you Mahjabeen...".

He was telling her the words she wanted to listen, "It doesn't matter, I know Murtasim is going to be a better father than anyone. But one thing scares me, what if like my mother I had complications and Murtasim gives the kid away. What if the family is abusive? As a parent I am already scared even when it isn't born, I can't fathom how you as a father could give away your newborn baby. Bura mat manyega, mai shikayat nahi kar rahi magar aapko kabhi aisa nahi laga ki mai aapki beti thi .. Ki shayad mujhe aapki zaroorat hogi. You don't deserved to be called a father, because you never stood up for me even once"

Anwar nodded accepting all her words, he had wronged her. His eyes were teary as he left the room, her words echoing in his mind as he went to the graveyard.

____