“Sir, the subject will be wiped the moment we reach our base.” a nervous voice piped from the shadows the moment we had been seated in the aircraft. I went rigid, the sound of that making my heart beat louder to my own, sensitive ears.

Why had I followed them so willingly? Why had I gone like one of Stark's bots?

A small, monstrous  voice in the back of my head whispered they don't want you, they locked you up. They gave up on you, monster. You are a murderer. You don't belong with them.

I didn't want to believe it, but I felt abandoned, hurt. "No Gavin, the Agent is on our side, yes?" The man before me said gently, making me look up at him. Agent, did he really say agent? 

"Yes, sir." I said, my voice sounding a lot stronger then I felt. And suddenly, I felt angry. Angry at Peter for not coming sooner to go to the park, angry at Clint for introducing me to the world of dogs. I was disappointed in Pietro for leaving me alone the moment he had realized that Wanda truly was his sibling. I was furious at Soldat for leaving me. I wanted them to suffer, wanted them to know how they made me feel. 

"Beast, you know that Hydra would never betray you. You are our little, monstrous creation. There is no other, best place for you then in our care. These people, Stark, Rogers. They only bring destruction. They bring pain to the innocent. They are killing the Earth."

Budnikov had an easy smile on his lips as he leaned back, waving Gavin away. I peeked outside, admiring the rain and the raging sea, shuddering at the idea of flying thought that kind of weather. 

A glimmer of doubt made me frown, but I tried to push it down. They had sent me in a prison under the suffocating sea. I could never find my place among them. I never knew where I belonged, where I stood in their circle. At least with Hydra I knew my place, I knew where I stood in their eyes. In Pietros eyes I was just a runaway buddy, someone he wanted to tag along, to have company. Steve? Steve was probably keeping me near because of Bucky. Soldat was just holding onto the memory, as he claimed to have. 

Maybe they were all liars. As soon as things got hard, I was shoved under the sea, in humming cell with other murderers. I had been betrayed, I had been a fool.

"Agent Beast, are you ready to comply?" I snapped my hatred filled yellow eyes toward Budnikov. "I am ready to comply, sir." The sound of my voice was robotic and dull, some would say dead. 

***

Days or even weeks had passed, I had been given higher status in the Base. it was a different one this time. There was a plan, a plan that would make Budnikov achieve the goals of Hydra. He wouldn't tell me the whole idea, but he said that I was to play a big part in the future written in the stars. 

I was so lost in my shadowed mind that I didn't see the difference between the passing days. I had lost my willpower to do anything just for myself. There was the urge to follow commands and kill anything that seemed threatening. It was like old thrill, as if I had done this before. Sadness, pain, hunger and tiredness did not exist in my vocabulary anymore. I only wanted to destroy, I wanted to make someone pay. That was really all I could feel. Even the images from my time with Pietro or Loki were slowly fading. 

I was fading.

Budnikov was around a lot, he was the one who had made me likes this. I believed him, I believed the praise and encouraging words every time I had snapped a neck of someone I didn't even recognize. But that was it, I felt numb, dull. I could sit still for hours, staring at nothing but the metal walls surrounding me most of the time. Whenever a guard was sent for me, I noticed they would shy away from me, keep their distance and look down. 

I didn't care thought. All I cared for was the embers of rage that had almost burned out in my  cold heart. It was as if the moment I had allowed myself to have trust in Budnikov, something had been turned off in my emotions, I became deadly. I no longer paid attention to the blood that covered my fingertip, the way my hands shook or the way I could barely keep anything down during the training days. I became numb to the way I accidentally killed my teachers, seeing them as enemy as my sigh had gone blurry due to the adrenaline. I was the machine again, their project beast.  

I slid the knife into my boot, making sure my weapons were loaded, sharpened and ready to kill. 

"It's time, sir." A guard who was much older than I said lowly, keeping his eyes on the floor as I passed by, heading towards the entrance. 

I wasn't looking anything particular when Budnikov met me halfway, stepping  next to me as he gave me one of his pills, the one he had given me as soon as Hydra had rescued me. Said it would keep my sessions away, the ones that would make me paralyzed. I could not possibly collapse in the middle of the fight because of my mutated heart that was too large for my chest.

Dressed in black, I headed towards the aircraft, throwing M249 Paratrooper SAW over my shoulder. Heavily armored and ready to finish the mission, I stepped on the aircraft, sitting down on one of the seats as I placed the large gun on my lap, staring at the green eyes in front of me with absolutely no emotion on my face. 

Budnikov walked past me, heading towards the pilot as we started getting off the Base grounds, towards the reason I had been trained. "Don't lose your sigh from the cargo, Beast."I gave Budnikov a sharp nod, sliding my fingers over the cold, deadly metal resting and waiting for someone to let the bullets fly. 

The woman before me was expressionless, not moving an inch as she stared at me, I knew she had noticed the gun, a threat. I dove into her mind, only to be disappointed by the curiosity and anger I felt there. I had expected fear, or remorse. I pulled back, not moving a muscle by the how disappointed I really felt. 

Natasha Romanoff was a dangerous woman, but Hydra would always be two steps ahead.

I could see the challenge in her eyes, she was trying to manipulate me. Keeping eye contact, the spy moved her tied up legs, almost like she wanted to see how I'd react. She was touching the waters, manipulating the dragon, literally.

The drive wasn't long, and Romanoff hadn't gone any further to tick me off, she had tried to dig through the barrier, through the numbness I had been feeling for days.

Natasha Romanoff had been kidnapped, it wasn't the easiest, in fact, many agents had lost their lives for this one red head. She had put up a fight, for a second the case had seemed hopeless. The ballerina who danced on knives was like a hurricane. Until she had slipped for a half a second, she hadn't expected to see me standing in the safe shadows, analyzing her fighting style. She had been surrounded by snipers from all sides, no back up. But like me, she was part of the plan for better future. 

She raised one of her perfectly shaped eyebrows as if to ask aren't you going to untie me? For some reason, I could almost see pity in her eyes. I could hardly care. 

I hadn't slept for three days, and I was starting to feel the pressure behind my eyelids. Since going back to the base, there had been images haunting my dreams at night. I had my suspicions about them, I believed them to be snippets of my erased past. My doings, my pains and the demon that was growing stronger each passing day. That's why I needed a distraction, something to stop me from thinking. 

We landed smoothly, I could feel the humming of the aircraft quiet down as Budnikov marched by us, out to the large, open field. I stood up, curling my fingers around Natashas neck, making sure she felt my claw gentle pressing on her artery. She was tense, but like expected, there was no emotion on her face. 

I felt the urge to press my claw further, it was almost killing me no to feel the blood on my fingertips. There must have been so much intensity in my glowing, yellow eyes that made her crack just a little.  But it was masked within milliseconds. 

I pushed the woman in front of me, making sure she could also feel the gun pressed to her side. Natasha Romanoff was by any means no fool, that's why she didn't try to break free. 

She knew the monster. She knew me. 

I pushed her on the ground beside Budnikov. Just three of us were in the middle of the field, the sun was setting, giving the field a golden halo. The breeze was from the north, and I made sure to use all of my senses in case the enemy had decided to sneak up on us.

It was the calm before the storm. All there was left to do was wait.

Wait for the golden glory or devastating ending. 

A/N 

Hope this wasn't so confusing to you guys. It's just, the story needs to start wrapping up somehow. 

And here we are. Standing on the field of gold with setting sun.

But I promise you, reader, the sun will shine on us again. 

Your feedback would mean a lot to me. Cheers lovelies.