"I can never have a baby, Riya." Swara muttered slowly and Riya's face expression changed.

"What?" Riya was shocked with this revelation. For a second, she couldn't register what she heard.

Swara nodded and cried in her embrace.

"I can never become a mother, Riya. " Swara said again with heavy voice.

Riya broke the hug and she held her shoulder and asked looking at her.

"Swara, who told you this? Are you sure? This is..." Riya was saying when Swara interrupted.

"I got confirmation from the doctor last month. She said I can never have a baby." Swara said and squeezed her eyes shut.

Riya looked at her vulnerable state and she understands whatever she said was no lie or any kind of joke. The look on her face shows how broken she was. She immediately pulled her into hug and unknowingly her eyes also filled. She has never seen swara so weak and devastated. It's like she has lost hope. Ofcourse, she has. After doctor's confirmation, what must be she going through?

"Why didn't you tell me till now? Why you were holding this all to yourself?" Riya asked.

"I just..just couldn't tell you Riya. But I.. I felt so vulnerable. I just couldn't tell anyone. You are going through the best phase of your life. How could I spoil it. And I am so sorry.. I am telling you all this and spoiling your day like this.." Swara tried to stop herself but she couldn't.

"Shut up!! Just shut up Swara!! How could you do this? Swara, we are sisters, not just friends. How could you hide this and why you were holding all this inside your heart. Why you didn't share? Swara, I am always there for you. Just because we are married and don't live in neighborhood that doesn't mean you will stop sharing your pain or happiness to me." Riya said in a bit angry tone.

"I just... Just don't know Riya. I am not able to understand anything. I.. i.." Swara's voice choked and she couldn't just say anything word more.

Riya hugged her and let her cry. She patted her hair gently to let her relax. She didn't try to stop her and let her cry.

"I am not able to take it Riya. I am not. Why me? I didn't do anything wrong. Then why me? Am I so worst that God has done this to me?" Swara said in between her cries.

"No swara, you are very special. You never did wrong to anyone. Don't lose hope Swara. There must be some chances. We can go to some other doctor and treatment..." Riya said.

"No, Riya. I can't. My reports clearly state that I am incapable of carrying a baby. I don't want to live in illusion or give myself and people around me to have false hope. And then? Then what shatter the hope? No Riya, I don't want to lie to myself. This is my truth and I hate that I am still not able to come over it." Swara said and her tears never stopped.

"Let it out Swara. Tell me what are you holding to yourself. I know you are not the girl who will just shatter because you can't have baby. What's breaking you Swara? Tell me ." Riya asked slowly as she knew her best friend well. She is strong girl. There must be something that is shattering her from inside. As much she knows Swara and looking at her like this, she understood that even Sanskar doesn't have any idea about this. Obviously, Swara must have hidden from him too.

"You still didn't tell Sanskar, Right?" Riya asked.

"I don't know how should I do that Riya? Sanskar love kids. I always see the shine his eyes shows when he play with Rakshit (Laksh and Ragini 3 months son). How can I snatch that right from him. How should I tell him that your Swara is imperfect and she can never give you happiness of being a father? I am scared. What if.. i.. I don't know." Swara uttered and muffled her cries.

"Swara, no!! Sanskar will never leave you. He loves you so much." Riya said and cups her face.

"I know that he can never think to leave me and I also love him so much. May be that's why I m being selfish. I am trying so hard to avoid this thought that let it be if I can't have baby. We both are enough for each other. We can have love and support for each other. But at the end of the day, it shatteres me with reality. Because it doesn't change that I am infertile. I don't know how long I will have to hide this from him. What if this break us apart? What if my love for him won't be strong enough to hold him back to myself and he listens to the people who curse me and questions me for not having baby? What will I do then? I .. I don't want to live without him. I can't even think a life without him Riya. I may live accepting my truth but I can't live without him." Swara said.

"Swara, no body's going to break you both. What are you thinking and why are you thinking all these?" Riya asked and make her look at him.

Swara pressed her lips together as she heard the echoes of taunts she was facing since days. The direct or indirect way of telling her that she is not good enough for him.

"Swara, tell me. Why do you think he will leave you?" Riya asked.

Swara looked at her with tearful eyes.

Flashback:
Swara and sanskar are married for more than three years now. Whole family living their life happily. Addition of Ragini and Swara to maheshwari family completed the family. Both were treated no less than uttra. And they got same affection and love in this family. Gadodias and Mehras also became the important part of family. Sanskar never show any difference to Swara's parents and his parents. Sanskar's right hand has now fully recovered. Now, he not only able to move it but he can lift heavy weights too. Like he was never injured. But for the treatment he only give credits to Laksh and then Swara who never let him skip his routine check to medicine and exercises. Swara has started her music company, not only the music academy. Sanskar was always with her. He helps her a lot. Everyone is so proud of Swara. Everything was fine and going smoothly and then a day of happiness came when Ragini revealed she is pregnant. Everyone was so happy. Swara was more excited for Ragini. She always took care for her. Whole family was there for Ragini. But in all this, Sujatha felt weird that Swara didn't gave any good news till now. On the top of that people also started questioning her. But she covered telling that they are not thinking to have baby yet. Still, she asked swara and Sanskar to think about baby a couple of times as Ragini was already going to have one. Sometimes, Laksh and Uttara teases Swara also. Sujatha also says that it's time she should think about it. Swara didn't think anything. She could just blush and let it go. But the things get strained between Sujatha and Swara when Ragini delivered the baby boy. As People's word started making its place in Sujatha's head. Still, she didn't tell anything to Swara. Thinking to let her have her own space. While Swara was not oblivious to Sujatha's change behaviour towards her. Still, she let it go. Other than that, no one knew what's happening.

Things were not good and only to make it worse, Sanskar and Laksh's Bua ji (Gayatri Devi) came. She was elder cousin of Ram Prasad but couple of months younger to Durgaprasad. She was strict when comes to culture and tradition. She couldn't attend Swasan and Raglak both weddings as she was on her tirth yatra And now she was here. She came one and half months back and things got much worse after her arrival. She liked Swara and Ragini both at first meeting but when she saw how Swara was given importance in family also Swara hadn't given any good news. She got suspicious with Swara. She would indirectly question swara that why she is not having baby? Ragini is younger Daughter in law of the house and she is having a baby, why is she is not having one? Annapurna would always take Swara's side that having kids is their choice. They can have when they want and Ragini is having baby, then also it's Ragini and Laksh choice. We shouldn't force it on anyone. Gayatri understood that everyone in the house was on Swara's side. So, she avoid to say anything to Swara in front of them but she didn't leave any chance to taunt her. Swara wouldn't say anything as she was elder. Spending some days in maheshwari mansion, Gayatri understood that Sujatha was not in good terms with Swara right now and reason was simple. So, she intentionally says the words against Swara. Although Sujatha never came in her words or say anything to Swara but she never stopped her also. In starting Sujatha avoided Gayatri's word but later she started giving thoughts to her words. May be she was saying right. What if Swara is incapable. It creates fear in her mind and thinking about Sanskar, her behaviour with Swara got strained a bit.

In all this, The worst part was Sanskar was in London for his one month business trip. He wanted to take Swara with him but Swara says Ragini just have 3 months baby and Laksh also stays in office for whole day. So, she should be here to help her. Also, she had some music academy works to look out. Sanskar understand her and nodded. Saying he is going to miss her. But Sanskar's absence added fuel to the fire. She terribly missed him. She needed him by her side. It was like she was living in chaos without him. She wanted to tell him something before he leaves but she couldn't. Yes, she went to the gynaecologist for her check up after Sujatha's behaviour hurt her a day indirectly taunting about having a baby. She thought to get check up. And when she got the reports, she was broken as the doctor revealed that it's impossible for her to conceive and she is infertile. She couldn't understand why this happened to her. Doctor consoled her but she cried and kept crying. She went to Gadodias mansion that day telling Sanskar that she wants to meet them. Although it was unusual for him but he never stopped her from anything so he just told her to enjoy. She didn't tell anything to anyone and kept it inside herself even though this truth was unacceptable for her and eating her from inside. She just hide the reports and thought she will tell him once he will back from london trip but as the day passed it started breaking her more and more.

Already Gayatri was against her and Sujatha was not in good terms with her and if they will come to know that She is infertile then what will happen. What if they try to break her relationship with Sanskar? What if Sanskar has to choose between her and his family?
As more she thinks all this, the more she get disturbed and even she cried. She tried to avoid all those negative thoughts but just couldn't. She tried to act normal but how could she say that she was breaking from inside. She would talk to sanskar on phone call but she hide it easily and if Sanskar ask her as he got suspicious a no. Of times then she just answered that she is tired or she is missing him. Although, he was never satisfied with the answer. Still, he thought he will talk to her once he will go back.

And finally the day came, Sanskar was back from his business trip. He had to attend Arav-Riya Anniversary and baby shower as saying no to Arav was not an option. Otherwise, he would turn the sky and earth upside down. He preponed his flight by one day and directly came to jaisingh mansion from airport as his flight was delayed. So, he asked Swara to get his clothes as he was already late. He attended the function after fresh n up.

Flashback end...

"And now when he is back, you don't want to tell him?" Riya asked holding her hands.

"I don't find courage inside me, Riya. Its breaking me." Swara said emotionally.

"No Swara, you need to trust him. Leave about Gayatri bua or Sujatha Aunty. I just don't understand what's problem with that Bua ji. And how can Sujatha Aunty change so much. I don't believe this." Riya said in unbelievable tone.

Swara was silent and tears Falling from her eyes.

"Why don't you try to talk to Sujatha Aunty? Or may be Annapurna aunty? She will understand you Swara." Riya said.

"No Riya, I won't tell anyone else until I reveal it to Sanskar. He has right to know about it. I didn't want to break it in front of you also but I couldn't hold it. I don't want him to know from someone else. He will feel betrayed." Swara said.

"Then just do it Swara. Tell him before this create any misunderstandings between both of you." Riya advised her.

Swara looked at her.

"You are right Swara. He has every right to know about it." She continued.

"I am falling weak. I don't know how I should.." Swara said.

"Just the way you share anything and everything to him you want. Don't make it complicated. It will be hard for you, for him but when you both will face it together, you will be each other's strength. Swara, just tell him once and you will see, he will stand by your side. He will be your biggest support like he has always been." Riya said.

"Swara, you only say na Sanskar understands you more that yourself. Then just let it out in front of him, he knows how to handle you. He is not selfish to leave you just because of this stupid reason. He will fight for you, dear. Trust him." Riya said.

Swara nodded understanding her words. Riya cupped he face and wipes her tears. Riya nodded at her. Swara also nodded looking at her and hugged her. Riya caressed her hair gently praying to God to make everything alright in her life.

That's when someone knock on the door. They break the hug and Swara composed herself wiping her tears.

"Yes, " Riya asked.

"Ma'am, party is over and Sanskar sir is also about to leave. He was asking for Swara ma'am. " A servant informed her.

"Okay, tell him she is coming in sometime." Riya said nodding at Swara.

"Okay ma'am." Servant said and went from there.

Swara wipes her face and she got up from bed.
"Okay Riya, I am leaving now. You take rest." She said.

"Wait, will you go like this?" Riya asked looking at her.

"Yeah, why? What happened?" Swara asked confusingly.

Riya didn't say anything. She also got up from bed holding her baby bump and hold her hand and lead her to stand in front of dressing table.

"Look at yourself, what have you done to your face after crying. Your husband won't take a second to know that you were crying rivers." Riya said.

Swara sighed and nodded thinking Riya was saying rught. Sanskar will come to know the minute he will see her. Riya signed her to go and wash your face. Swara went to washroom and come after washing her face. Riya applied some touch up and hide her puffy nose and cheeks which turned red.

" I did my best and I bet if anyone comes to know that you were crying." Riya said.

"Thanks Riya." Swara said with smile.

"Anytime Swara. But don't cry more and just do what I said. "Riya said.

Swara nodded at her with small smile.

To be continued...

Hey guys, You won't need to wait for so long for next part. I have written the full story and I will give continuous update now. Just complete the target for next parts. (For all upcoming parts)

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