A Blank Canvas

Nothing happens without a reason.

Ghazal thought while looking at her empty hands. They were always empty but many times she felt like Allah had taken extra time to write her destiny.

Taking a long breath, she looked around herself. The shy winter was slowly coming out of its cocoon and her surrounding was giving this message subtly. She picked up a dried peepal leaf and whirled it, tucking it in between her forefinger and thumb.

Glancing at her wristwatch, she stuck her eyes on the main door of the building. Waiting was the main purpose of her life, she always felt. This time, she was waiting for her little boy.

On the cue, the school bell rang and she got up from her place instinctively. Every kid's face was beaming with pure joy, the happiness of returning home. Ghazal was searching for her boy in those unknown faces and her heart leaped out seeing her kid.

He too found her and ran towards her with a never-ending smile on his face. Sitting on her knees, she hugged him tightly.

"How's my boy?"

Ghazal fondly asked her child, Adam. It was his first day of school and being a mother she was more than nervous for her kid.

"It was awe-shome. But I mi-shed you."

Adam said in his childish way and pinched his mother's cheeks. Ghazal giggled, wiping the tears from her eyes. It was sometime hard for her to believe that her kid was growing so fast. It felt just like yesterday when she had taken him in her arms for the first time and today he attended his first day of school.

"Ma, I made two friendsh today. "

"Very good. What are their names?"

Ghazal acknowledged him, taking his hand in hers and started walking to their home.

"Farish and Zaid. You know Zaid comesh to shcool with hish Papa."

"That's nice."

Ghazal said absentmindedly, unknown of the fact where their conversation was going.

"Ma, where ish my Papa?"

***

The beeping sound forced Haaris to open his burning eyes. An unbearable pain shot up to his head and he groaned in response. Closing his eyes once again, he began to search the source of the sound. As he found it, he smashed his cell phone on the wall.

After some time, he opened his eyes and began to look at his surroundings. It was difficult for him to remember last night but he knew he must have lost his senses due to over drinking and some of his friends had helped him.

It was his friend, Qasim's house, the only bachelor in their group. Mostly at his time of over drinking, he used to open his eyes in Qasim's house because he was living on his own.

Haaris was on the living room sofa and as soon as he turned, he fell on the ground with a thud. He held his head in his hands to stop the spinning. His mouth felt parched and a stale odor was a part of his being.

There were no signs of his friend and his groggy eyes told him it was early noon. With extreme difficulty, he stood up and began to take careful strides toward the kitchen. Balancing himself was the hardest task for him right now. A wave of dizziness came over him and he collided with the side table, dropping some frames in the process.

Flashes of his past again began to haunt Haaris as he glanced over the broken photo frames. He had to forget them, no he couldn't think about them now. A volcano of anxiety was rising in the pit of his stomach.

He left the house as quickly as he could and Haaris felt like all those formidable memories were chasing him and if he couldn't leave that place soon, they would eat him all alive.

Haaris didn't bother to look for Qasim, he ran from his house. The markets were starting to get crowded with every passing minute. Many people gave him a weird look because he was running, panting heavily but still Haaris was not in his senses.

***

Ghazal felt the heaviness of the moment as that question left Adam's mouth. She was preparing herself for that question for a long time but she was still not ready to answer him.

How could she answer him? His mind was still so small to understand the matters of nature. She gave a tight-lipped smile to her son and sat in front of him on her knees.

"Your Papa has gone far away from us, dear."

Ghazal said with a lump in her throat and held his shoulders for support.

"When will he come back?"

"It's still not known to me.", she looked elsewhere. His questions were intriguing and Ghazal was getting uncomfortable.

"Do you want to try the new ice-cream?"

Adam bobbed his head with a toothed smile and Ghazal kissed his cheek with adoration. She had successfully dodged his questions and turned his mind elsewhere but just for a time being.

They resumed their walk and halted at the ice cream shop. It was Adam's favorite shop and he loved to come here often. Adam giggled and pulled Ghazal's hand.

"Today I will eat two ish-creams."

Her son announced and Ghazal pursed her lips to stop herself from smiling.

"Why is that so?"

"My firsht day of sh-cool."

Ghazal lovingly patted his head and they entered the shop. As her son had decided, Ghazal had to order two ice-creams for him.

Ghazal never bought ice cream for herself. She was always happy seeing Adam devouring the whole ice cream to his heart's content. Also, she had to keep in mind her other expenses.

"Ma..."

Adam called when he finished his treat. As Ghazal looked at his way, her son placed a soft kiss on her cheek.

"Thank you."

Ghazal smiled and pinched his nose. As they left the shop, her mobile phone began to ring. It was her father's call. Ghazal held Adam's hand tightly and received her father's call.

***

Haaris coughed and stopped in the middle of the road. The irritating sound of horns and people's abuses told him his mistake. He made his way to the footpath and sat on it holding his head.

What he was trying to do? What had occurred so suddenly that he was unable to think straight? Was he going to be mad? Yes, definitely.

Haaris was still thirsty and now he desperately needed water as his running had made his condition worse than before.

"Hey!"

He looked at the soft voice and found a small kid standing in front of him. Haaris confusingly stared at him; the kid was definitely out of his mind as he thought Haaris would acknowledge his presence. When Haaris moved his gaze away from him, the kid again called him.

"Do you need shome water?"

The kid was a great example of frankness. But Haaris couldn't deny his offer even if he wanted to. He was holding a blue colored small bottle in his hands, ready to give it to him.

Haaris hesitantly took the water bottle from his hands and quenched his thirst in one go.

"Sorry. I have emptied it."

"No problem. I was jusht going home. There ish plenty of water in my housh."

Haaris chuckled at his statement.

" What ish your na-"

The kid's question hanged in the middle due to the voice that called him.

"Yesh ma."

The kid waved his hand to his mother who was slight far but taking long strides towards them.

"Adam.."

The lady called a little bit louder and halted a few steps away from them, not even bothering to look at him.

"Come here, Adam."

She gave her hand to the kid named Adam and he obediently took it. Haaris wanted to thank the kid for his help but his mother didn't give him a second to think.

"What were you doing here?"

The lady was asking questions to her son as they moved away from him. He was staring at them, the duo of mother and son was a rare sight for him especially when he too always craved for that bond.

Suddenly the kid turned his head and waved goodbye with a heartwarming smile, catching him off guard.

***

A slap killed the horrifying silence of their room. Ghazal hissed and held her left cheek, she was unable to wrap her head around the throbbing pain.

Tears were streaming down on her face and she glanced at her husband, who was shouting at her and abusing her with profanities. Seeing them, nobody could tell that only a week had passed after their wedding.

"I don't like extra salt in my food. Understand, woman?"

Ghazal nodded at his slurred question and again a slap marked itself on her face.

"Speak."

"Y-yes."

It was like a boulder that had been dropped on Ghazal when she came to know about her husband's drinking habit. She didn't know he would start drinking, if her father would know this, he would never approve of him. But Allah wanted them to get married. Maybe that was the decision that was best for her. She had to make herself patient in order to pass the trials Allah was throwing in her way.

Ghazal cleaned the table and washed the dishes. When she entered their room once again, it was stinking with an awful smell of alcohol which made her nauseating. Bile rose in her throat and she covered her mouth in order to stop herself from throwing up.

She hesitantly took steps towards their bed.

"Where are you going?"

Her husband barked at her.

"I was going to sleep."

"Don't you have any shame? I am still up and you are going to take rest. Make a drink for me."

"Don't drink too much."

Ghazal mumbled a request which was enough to ignite her husband's anger.

"You will tell me what should I do and whatnot."

He came near her with dangerous strides and held her hair resulting in a wince from her. Ghazal held his shoulders to ease him but he shoved off her hands and slapped her hard.

She fell down on the ground near his feet. After that, he didn't show any signs of mercy towards her and Ghazal's whole night passed in pain and cries.