IN HYRULE I:
I may not scare Dark Link with my flashlight.

Link is not in love with Dark Link. Therefore, I will not accuse him of twincest. (I'll TRY. Okay?)

I will also not give said Links honeymoon suite.

It is not necessary for me to call Ganondorf "Ganondwarf." Having not done this, I will not inquire on the well-being of Frodo.

Under no circumstances am I to introduce Zant to caffeine. (Yeah, I'm keeping my promise on this one!)

"Fishing for Ganon" is NOT an acceptable form of recreation.

I will not wake Dark Link with "Good morning, Miss Sunshine!" He does not find this amusing.

Navi is not the reincarnation of Ganondorf. (Dang it...)

Mass destroying Hyrule does not earn me a spot on "Ganondorf's favorite people list;" I will stop soon.

When watching Link fight Ganondorf, I will not start a betting pool on the outcome. (Aww! But it sound like fun!)