Jae propped herself comfortably on the bed as she reached for the first letter.

September 5th 2009

Dear Jae,

You would probably never going to see this, but I'm writing anyway. I was quite surprised to see your letter after you went back to America. I thought that I would just end up as your summer memory. Were you chasing me for fun when you had nothing to do when you were here? I didn't think you were that serious and you would forget me the moment you touched down in New York. Was I wrong?

First time I realized you were following me, I was shocked. What is it about me that made you like me? You were complimenting me on my 3 point shot. My skills are not even close to the star player at the school who was playing along, but you still see me. Thank you. It was quite disconcerting when suddenly someone was tailing you out of nowhere. I'm not complaining.

I found out you performed at Carnegie Hall when you were 10. You must be really talented to be able to do that. I can't say much about myself. I started to learn music at that age and I still feel like puking when I perform in front of an audience. I feel so small. Maybe you could give me some tips.

Heh, who am I kidding? You're not going to see this anyway. I got to get back to my studies. My mom would be angry if I flunk the upcoming test. Hope to see you in the future.

Yours truly,

Shooting guard oppa.

Jae smiled. Shooting guard oppa, huh? She did call him that when she didn't know his name and only know of his playing position. She pestered him for his full name. When he didn't tell her, she went asking one of his friends who was around. Jae went to the next letter in the box.

September 20th 2009.

Dear Jae,

Your second letter came as a surprise again, your third letter too. How long are you going to keep on writing to me? You don't get any reply. Am I going to get another one after this? I would surely look forward for that. But anyway, thank you. I do reply but I don't think I have the guts to post my reply to you.

You're pretty and a genius too. Doesn't anyone in your school ask you out for a date or anything? Boys here would probably be lining up for your attention. Me? I don't know. I'm too shy for that.

For one, I work for your brother. He won't like it if a 'nobody' being friends with his sister. I know I wouldn't want my kid sister (if I have any) be friends with anyone like me. I'm not rich. I'm not good enough, but I'll try my best to be better. Then maybe, I could come to you and ask you to be my girlfriend and you won't be embarrassed of me. One day.

Who am I kidding? By the time I would muster up enough courage to ask you out, you would probably find someone else better. In the meantime, I'll do my best. I hope you would wait for me. Wishful thinking, right?

You did tell me you like me. The fool in me just say thank you straight away. Honestly, don't you think that's way too fast for a person who just know each other in a matter of weeks? I do like you. My friends at school were egging me about my newly acquired shadow before the summer holiday started.

The shadow they were talking about was you. I know they were jealous of me. Being in an all boy school surely made dating a girl difficult. Difficult but not impossible. I don't want to brag but I do get notes from girls sometimes. Don't worry, I didn't reply to any of those. I don't have time for that. I only reply to you and you don't know about it either. Talk about the irony, haha. I'm busy with school and working part-time. One day I'm going to make songs that people would talk about for years. That's my dream.

What's yours?

I hope you would write about it if you're writing again to me. Here I am, pathetically trying to reach you out telepathically. Got to go now. Take care.

Yours truly,

Hopeful oppa.

Jae teared up. Now he's Hopeful Oppa. He was honest. If only he knows how she was hoping for his letter to come, he won't think himself unworthy.

November 7th 2009

Dearest Jae,

You didn't disappoint me as yet again I received your letter. I hope you won't get tired writing to me despite the no reply. You did ask for my phone number but I didn't give it to you. Overseas phone calls are expensive and I don't want you to waste your money on me. I know you can afford it, but I can't yet. It would take years until I could, I promise. Just give me the time. Maybe by the time I could, you would still be single. A guy could definitely wish and who knows, it might come true.

When you write about what you do there, I wonder how it feels to travel abroad. I haven't been anywhere outside Korea yet. Maybe I could be where you are at now and go where you go. That's wishful thinking, but it would come true.

I'm wondering, do you write songs too? I can't stop writing songs, my head is filled with tunes that I can't wait to write. I don't know if my songs are any good. I hope they are. I haven't got the chance seeing you play the piano. I looked for you on the internet and it didn't fail me. You were known there as Jae Hwa Ahn. I found a video of you playing Paganini/Liszt Etude No. 6. You were so quick and it was mind-blowing. You're a genius. Are you the same girl who followed me around in summer?  You were totally different in the video. Maybe we could play a duet or something. My skills are not at par as yours but it would be fun.

It's quite a surprise to see you were able to list down the reasons you like me. Correction. You wrote the reasons you love me. Am I that lovable? I sure hope so. Unlike you, I can't list down all the reasons I like you. All I know is that when I see you, I'm happy. Not all the time though. Don't get me wrong. When I saw you hanging on the tree across the school with a binoculars I was afraid you might fall and injure yourself. Don't do dangerous things for me. You can always meet me up after school, on foot. I won't run. Do you always do things like that in the US or was it just here, for me?

Just be safe. I worry about you too.

I'll write to you again. Stay safe.

Yours truly,

Worried oppa.

Jae wanted to weep. She was not thinking that much when she climbed on that tree. All she knew, she had to see him.

December 15th 2009

Dearest Jae,

I had a huge fight with my parents today. They didn't like it when I was focusing too much on music. Be a public servant they said. When are they going to realize that all I want to do is music? I can't imagine myself doing a desk job from morning to evening. I am just fed up and frustrated.

They supported me when I wanted to get a keyboard. When they saw me spending too much on it they get mad. What am I supposed to do? I go to school, be a good boy, didn't cause much trouble that I know of. Why can't they just understand me? I feel so messed up.

Despite all that, your letters keep on coming. You never stop believing in me. I have to ask this. Don't you get tired of writing to me? Don't you get fed up when you write and there were no response? You seem to be doing just that without fail. I know one day you would stop writing. Maybe when you find someone else better, you would stop.

I'm sorry. I am venting out my frustration on you. I just don't know where to turn to. If this letter gets to you, you would probably give me comfort. The loser in me is still pathetically hoping and conveying this rant out telepathically to you.

Who am I kidding? You'd probably get support in everything that you do. I just wish I do too. That's all for now. I need to take a walk outside. This is just so suffocating.

Yours truly,

Suffocated oppa.

Jae paused and took a drink. That letter was intense and she felt really sad for the teenage Yoongi. She wanted to run to him that very instance, but she knew she couldn't. Taking a deep breath, she went to the next letter. She looked at the date. She returned to Daegu for the short winter break with her foster family. She wouldn't want to miss visiting Yoongi.

January 4th 2010

Dearest Jae,

It has been a few days since you flew back to US and I was not that surprised anymore when you left your letter in my mailbox. Do you know I was looking forward for your letters? I think not. Nothing stops you and I hope despite the lack of reply, won't make you stop writing to me either.

I was happy when you returned to Daegu for your winter holiday. I didn't get to see you much as school holiday only means that I have to work harder. I was glad when my mom said you came and ate the persimmon that my mom dried herself. Sorry you had to wait for me. I only came home at night. I worry about you all the time. I want you to be safe and happy at all times. Do I make you feel happy? I hope so as you make me happy when I see you. I have been repeating the word happy so many times. You make me happy. There, I said it.

I feel like a loser. There you were smiling at me when you came and visit and the fool in me were just tongue tied. I hope you won't stop liking this loser as this loser likes you a lot. I can say that now that I do like you. I promise you I will not wait that long. I am working on a project that will make myself feel proud. I hope you will be proud too.

Sometimes when I walk home, I look up at the sky and think of you. At that very hour, you were probably at school, doing what you do best. I know you're going to get into Juilliard just as you wanted. I looked up on the internet about Juilliard. I was amazed with what I found. At the same time, I feel small. Will I able to walk side by side with you? You're strong, skilful and you have the resilience to make it work.

I don't know if I'm cut for college. All I know is that I want to make music. Maybe I should strive to be a music major in the university. That would make my parents proud. Will you be proud too?

I'll write to you again. I'm starting to miss you.

Yours truly,

Loser oppa.

Jae went rummaging again for his letters. 10 years was a long wait for a reply and it was well worth it. She spent the night smiling and tearing up at his words. He was right on the intense content. He was writing it in all honesty and was not expecting she would read it at all. She then reached to the last envelope that was opened. The rest of the letters were untouched and unopened. She braced herself and started to read.

March 2nd 2010.

Dearest Jae,

Thank you for sending me your picture. You're getting prettier and I like that. Don't mistake me for a shallow person who only see what's on surface. I can feel your warmth through the picture, that's what I like the most about you. I am feeling great just by looking at the picture. Thank you again. I can't put it in a frame on my desk. My mom would start nagging and I would never hear the end of it. I'll definitely keep it in my favorite book.

You told me in your letter about what you are going to do to get into Juilliard this year. You probably hear this a lot, but that is pretty impressive. That just mean that I have to work harder to be as impressive as you too. Then, we can be successful together. That would be really great if we do. You want to be a famous classical musician. I know you would be, one day. You could be the Franz Liszt of our time. As for me, I don't want to be famous. I just want to be a great songwriter and producer. Fame doesn't appeal me that much. Imagine the fuss of going through your daily life when people all around the world knows you. That would be troublesome. So I would settle by being successful in the background.

I have news for you. I am so excited. I haven't tell you this before but I wrote some songs for a new singer and your brother said it would be included in her new album. I feel so euphoric. This is the moment when I could finally be recognized. Who would have thought a guy at my age would be able to write songs like that. It would be a blast. I don't want to brag but the songs are pretty impressive. The album will be released tomorrow and I can't wait to see it. This time I would really send it to you. I promise.

I'm going to bed now. I feel restless and exhilarating at the same time. I can't wait for the album to be dropped and see my name in the album. My parents would finally see that I have a fighting chance in the music industry. A 17 year-old can make that happen, take that.

I'll write to you again. I miss seeing you around. Hope to see you again when you come home for the holiday. Bye.

Yours truly,

Happy oppa.

That was his last letter. Tears fell as Jae knew what happened after that, his dream was crushed ruthlessly by her brother. Yoongi was really happy when he was writing. She could only imagine the hurt he was going through when he confronted her brother. Jae wiped her tears as she looked at the unopened envelopes. She kept on writing diligently until 2014 and it was untouched. She would be lying if she said that she wasn't hurt by that. She knew she couldn't change the past. She could only look for the future and not dwell on what had happened.

She felt like she was going to burst by just reading those letters. He was hoping for her letters to come. That fact alone was overwhelming.

Jae couldn't wait to see Yoongi again and she was counting the hours when they would meet.

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Author's note:
As promised, double update 😉

This is Paganini/Liszt Etude No. 6

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LR98AEAgnYQ