"I don't know if I can do this, Eve." I said as she pulled her car to a stop.

She shut it off and faced me, taking my hand in hers. "When was the last time you were here?"

I looked down. "The funeral."

"Belle, that was over twenty years ago. You deserve to get some closure and I'm confident this will help... and, if I'm wrong, you can say 'I told you so.'"

I closed my eyes and let out a light sigh. "I hate it when you're right."

She patted my shoulder. "C'mon, I'll be right next to you the whole time." Then, she stepped out of the car.

I reluctantly got out and followed her through the gates of the cemetery.

Deep down, I knew she was right. I've been trying to ignore the whole thing since it happened and clearly that hasn't been working for me. No matter how much alcohol I drank, nothing ever changed. My fathers dead and not me or anyone else can bring him back. It's time I stop running from my past and face it head on.

I took Eves hand in mine and led her to my fathers grave.

As soon as I saw his name carved into that tombstone, I felt my breathing pick up and a few tears well in my eyes.

Eve rested her hand on my shoulder. "I'll give you some privacy."

I nodded and planted a soft kiss on her lips. "Thanks."

She nodded before wandering off further into the cemetery.

I closed my eyes again, brief images of that night flashing through my thoughts. I forced my eyes back open and looked down at my dads tombstone.

I knelt down in front of it with a sad sigh. "... Where do I even start?"

I took in a deep breath, trying to find the right words.

"I'm so sorry, dad. You wouldn't be here right now if it weren't for me. You were a great husband and father and not only did I take you away from me, but I took you away from a loving family..."

I slumped down on my knees and wiped my eyes. "C'mon, Belle, pull it together."

With another deep breath, I started again.

"I know I should've visited sooner, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I thought if I could just push the whole thing out of my mind, it would go away, I would just forget about it... But, that didn't happen. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't get you out of my head. I had to leave our house because every day I'd stare at that front door, expecting you to walk through with a big smile on your face... but, you never did... and it's all my fault..."

I closed my eyes again and more tears spilled out of them.

"I wouldn't even be here today if it weren't for Eve..."

   I opened my eyes, a slight smile tugging at my lips. "I really wish you could've met her, dad... You would've loved her."

I wiped at my eyes before resting my hand on the tombstone. "I miss you so much, dad and I love you even more. Wherever you are, I hope you're happy and that I'll be able to see you again one day."

After a few minutes of staring silently at the tombstone, I stood up.

   "Bye, dad." I said before turning and walking over to where Eve was standing.

"How'd it go?" She asked.

I let out a sad breath. "Good... I really needed that."

She took my hand in hers. "Good... just because he's gone doesn't mean you should forget about him."

I lowered my head. "I know... thanks, for today."

She flashed me a small smile. "Of course."

After a quick kiss, we walked back to the car and drove back to Eves house.

   Just as we walked through the door, my phone went off in my pocket.

   "Hello?" I answered.

   "Hey, it's Violet. You free?"

   I sat down on the couch. "Sure, what's up?"

   "Nothing, I just feel like I haven't seen much of you lately."

   I lowered my head. "Sorry about that, Eve's just been helping me work through some stuff... she even convinced me to visit my dads grave today."

   "No shit?"

   "Nope, we just got back."

   "Wow, that's a huge step."

   "Tell me about it."

   "How do you feel?"

   A small smile formed on my lips. "Pretty good actually."

   "That's good to hear."

   "Yeah... but enough about me, what's been up with you?"

   "You know, the usual."

   I laughed. "So, binge watching alien shows on TV?"

   She laughed in return. "Yeah, pretty much."

   "Well, why don't I meet you at the bar? We can catch up more there."

   "That works for me. You should bring Eve and her cute friend."

   "You mean Stacy?"

"Yeah, her."

I chuckled. "Wow, I didn't know you had a thing for girls."

"Hey, I can appreciate a good body when I see one."

I smiled and shook my head. "Fair enough. I'll let Eve know what's going on and we'll meet you there in a few."

"Alright, see you then."

"Bye." I said before hanging up.

Eve sat down next to me. "Who was that?"

"Violet, she wants us to meet her at the bar and she said to invite Stacy."

Eve raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

   I shrugged. "Something about her having a nice body, half the time I don't really understand what she's talking about."

   She laughed. "I didn't know Violet had a thing for girls."

"Me neither."

We laughed as Eve pulled her phone out, sending Stacy a quick text before following me out to my car...

   We pushed through the front door and immediately spotted Violet sitting at the bar.

   We took two seats next to her.

   Violet patted my shoulder. "Long time no see."

   I smiled lightly. "Sorry again, I promise to fit you into my life more from now on."

   She raised her half empty beer. "That's all I ask." Then, downed the rest of it.

   I looked from her to the surrounding people, then to the liquor display behind the bar.

   I swallowed hard as the craving began to start.

   "Hey, Belle, the usual?" The bartender asked.

   I looked up at him, shaking myself back to reality. "Uh, no. Just water is fine."

   He just nodded before placing a glass of water in front of me.

   I quickly downed it.

   "You ok?" Eve asked.

   I nodded. "Yeah, this is just gonna take some getting used to."

   "We can go somewhere else if you want." Violet suggested.

   I shook my head. "No, no. I'll be fine. I'm just gonna step out for a smoke."

   I stood up from the bar stool and planted a quick kiss on Eves forehead before heading outside.

   I leaned against the wall and pulled my cigarettes out, quickly lighting one.

   'Shit, this is gonna be harder than I thought.'

   After twenty years of hard drinking every day, it was hard to just stop. But, I was determined, I was finally starting to feel good again and I'd be damned if I let myself slip back into how I used to be. With the help of Eve, I was turning my life around and trying to make myself a better person and I wouldn't let anything get in the way of that.

   "Hey, Belle. You ok?" I heard, pulling me from my thoughts.

   I looked over, seeing Stacy standing a few feet away.

   I smiled. "Yep, just stepping out for a smoke. Everyone else is at the bar though."

   She returned my smile and nodded. "Alright, I'll see you inside."

   I nodded back as she walked through the front door.

   I sighed. 'Get it together, Belle. Just because everyone else is drinking doesn't mean you have to.'

   After finishing my cigarette, I flicked it into the parking lot and headed back inside.

   I was just about to sit down when my phone rang out. I pulled it out, seeing Diana's name flashing on the screen.

   "Hey, Diana, what's up?"

   "Belle, where are you?"

   I took a quick glance around. "Uh, Eves, why?"

   "You have to come to the hospital now, mom's awake..."