Funtime Freddy: Hey, wanna help me commit arson?
Funtime Foxy: What the hell!?
Funtime Freddy: Oh, sorry, my bad.
Funtime Freddy, whispering: Wanna help me commit arson?
Funtime Foxy, whispering: Of course. What do you need?

************

Funtime Freddy: FIGHT ME, YOU NERD ASS SLUT!
Funtime Foxy: At least try to sound slightly more sophisticated when you threaten someone.
Funtime Freddy: Oh, I'm sorry. I should ask; dost thou want to engage in a duel, my good bitch?
Funtime Foxy: Somehow that's worse.

************

Funtime Foxy: Well, if you're not at least a little bit gay for your friends, then what kind of friend are you?

************

Circus Baby: *trying to buy a Father's Day card at Hallmark*
Circus Baby: Excuse me, do you have any that just say, "You are my dad?"
Associate: Well, I-
Circus Baby: How about "You banged my mom?"
Associate: No...
Circus Baby: You know what, I'll just get a blank one.
Circus Baby: *writes* You are a father. This is a day. Here is a card.

************

Ballora: I'm going to ask you to be respectful.
Circus Baby: I will politely decline.

************

Funtime Foxy: Am I a boy? Am I a girl? It doesn't matter. I'm going to burn your house down.

************

Funtime Foxy: You remind me of the ocean.
Funtime Freddy: Because I'm deep and mysterious?
Funtime Foxy: No, because you're full of salt and you scare people.

************

Bonnet: I'm not a doctor, I'm a medic.
Funtime Foxy: What's the difference then?
Bonnet: Well, doctors actually save lives, medics just make you feel more comfortable as you die.
Funtime Freddy: Note to self; never get shot.

************

Bonnet: I've been here in jail so long I think I've lost my mind.
Bonnet: The days turn into weeks; weeks turn into months.
Bonnet: How long have I been in here now? Almost a year?
Bon-Bon: This is Monopoly.

************

Funtime Freddy: Am I right, Bon-Bon?
Bon-Bon: I'm almost certain you're not, but to be fair, I wasn't listening.

************

Bonnet: You need to stop swearing so much.
Funtime Foxy: Shut the fuck up.
Bonnet: Yeah, that's not how you do it.
Funtime Foxy: Alright sorry. It's just that it's hard not to swear. The words just creep up on me when I least expect it.
Bonnet: Now now, don't be like that. Just replace the swear words with 'beep' and you'll be fine.
Funtime Foxy: Shit the beep up.
Bonnet:
Funtime Foxy: SHUT, DAMNIT! I MEANT SHUT!

************

Circus Baby: Dinosaurs aren't extinct. I mean, Freddy is walking in this room.
Ballora: *wheeze*

************

Ballora: Freddy, I am questioning your sanity...
Funtime Foxy: I never questioned it; I knew his sanity was missing from the start.

************

Funtime Freddy: *Kicks the door open, looking panicked*
Ballora: What did you do?!
Funtime Freddy: NOBODY DIED!
Ballora: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?!

************

Ennard: Dracula had it right, sleep all day, live alone in a castle, and explode into bats to get out of all social situations.

************

Michael: What is wrong with you?
Ennard: Loaded question. Elaborate.

************

Michael: I swear to God, I'm the only one here with a braincell.
Circus Baby, Funtime Freddy, Funtime Foxy and Ballora: All hail the keeper of the sacred braincell!

************

Funtime Freddy: What if Cinderella was a baking slave instead of a cleaning slave, and her name was Mozzarella?
Circus Baby: Don't ever speak to me again.

************

Funtime Freddy: If you bite it and you die, it's poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it's venomous.
Bon-Bon: What if it bites me and it dies!?
Funtime Foxy: Then you're poisonous. Jesus Christ, Bon-Bon, learn to listen.
Bonnet: What if it bites itself and I die?
Circus Baby: That's voodoo.
Ballora: What if it bites me and someone else dies?
Bon-Bon: That's correlation, not causation.
Bonnet: What if we bite each other, and neither of us die?
Circus Baby: That's kinky.
Funtime Freddy: Oh my God.

************

Lolbit: I'm 10 times funnier and sexier than you.
Funtime Foxy: 10 times 0 is still 0 though.
Lolbit: Jokes on you, I can't do math.

************

Lolbit: People are always asking me if I'm a morning person or a night person.
Lolbit: And I'm just like, "Buddy! I'm barely even a PERSON!"