Chapter 21: The Interrogation (Fragment 5)
February 20, 2014, 7:54 PM
Case #: 124.678.21-001
OFFICIAL TRANSCRIPTION OF POLICE INTERVIEW
~~START PAGE 4~~
INVESTIGATOR: Mr. Thorn, are you familiar with the term "catfish."
THORN: Oh, come on.
INVESTIGATOR: It's a yes-or-no question.
THORN: Yes. I'm obviously familiar with the term.
INVESTIGATOR: Would you care to define it for us, for the record?
THORN: No.
INVESTIGATOR: No?
THORN: It was a yes-or-no question, right?
INVESTIGATOR: That's cute, Eric. What do you think, Terry? You think he's getting cute with us?
THORN: I'm not--I wasn't trying to be cute. I'm just not in the mood for pointless questions.
INVESTIGATOR: You know, Terry and I could do this all night. So if you just want to sit around and insult our intelligence--
THORN: No no no. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that. I'm just a little thrown right now.
INVESTIGATOR: Understandable.
THORN: There are other things I would prefer to be doing. I'm sure you understand. So could we please cut to the chase?
INVESTIGATOR: And what other things would you prefer to be doing, Eric?
THORN: Well, I'd like to speak to Tessa, for one thing.
INVESTIGATOR: You care about her.
THORN: Of course.
INVESTIGATOR: And she cares about you?
THORN: Yes.
INVESTIGATOR: That's sweet. Isn't that sweet, Terry? Really heartwarming. You ever write a song about her, Eric?
THORN: What does that have to do with anything?
INVESTIGATOR: Oh, I'm just curious. I've got a niece. She's about 15 years old. Huge fan of yours.
THORN: I'd be happy to sign an autograph for her.
INVESTIGATOR: Now that's not necessary. Just answer the question, if you don't mind.
THORN: What was the question?
INVESTIGATOR: Did you ever write a song about Tessa Hart?
THORN: Really? I have to answer that?
INVESTIGATOR: You just put out a new single in December, right? What was that one called?
THORN: Snowflake.
INVESTIGATOR: That's it. Snowflake. Pretty song. Did you write that song about Tessa?
THORN: I really don't like to talk about the meanings behind my song lyrics.
INVESTIGATOR: Don't you? I got the sense that you and Tessa talked quite a bit about the meanings behind your song lyrics.
THORN: That's different.
INVESTIGATOR: How so?
THORN: I talked to her about things that I can't tell other people. Personal things. She's the only person I could talk to about a lot of stuff.
INVESTIGATOR: Because those conversations took place within the context of a private correspondence. A private relationship, you might say?
THORN: Right.
INVESTIGATOR: And there was one other way it was different, too. Wasn't there?
THORN: What do you mean?
INVESTIGATOR: I mean, she didn't know it was you, right? She thought she was talking about Eric Thorn with somebody named Taylor.
THORN: Right. Exactly.
INVESTIGATOR: "To lure someone into a relationship by means of a fictional online persona."
THORN: Sorry what?
INVESTIGATOR: That was a quote, actually. Let the record show that my previous statement was a quote from the Oxford English Dictionary, third edition. That was the second definition of the verb "catfish." Did you know they put it in the dictionary?
THORN: It wasn't like that.
INVESTIGATOR: OK, Eric. You wanted to cut to the chase? Let's cut to the chase. Did you, or have you ever, lured someone into a relationship by means of a fictional online persona?
THORN: It wasn't like that.
INVESTIGATOR: Wasn't it?
THORN: That's a crappy definition.
INVESTIGATOR: The Oxford English Dictionary?
THORN: It wasn't catfishing. It wasn't like on the MTV show. I mean, it was and it wasn't.
INVESTIGATOR: That's the defense you want to go with? It wasn't like on the MTV show?
THORN: Come on. You know what I mean.
INVESTIGATOR: I'll admit, I'm not totally up to date on all the slang you kids like to throw around.
THORN: Well, maybe you should ask your niece.
INVESTIGATOR: Maybe. But then again, my niece isn't involved in a criminal investigation into false impersonation, fraud, unlawful surveillance, and stalking.
THORN: Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa-
INVESTIGATOR: So why don't you just go ahead and spell it out for us, Eric. How would you define catfishing?
THORN: I didn't do anything illegal.
INVESTIGATOR: But you did, in fact, lure Tessa Hart into a relationship by means of a fictional online persona. Correct?
THORN: You have to understand the position I was in.
INVESTIGATOR: What position was that?
THORN: She was my fan. She practically worshipped me. Catfishing is when you set up a fake profile to make yourself into someone more attractive. That's the opposite of what I did.
INVESTIGATOR: So you set up a fake profile to make yourself less attractive?
THORN: No. It wasn't about being attractive. It was about being anonymous. It was the only way I could be myself.
INVESTIGATOR: By pretending to be someone else? By willfully misleading someone about your true identity?
THORN: I'm not the villain here. Look, I know how it seems now, but I didn't mean for it to go the way it did.
INVESTIGATOR: And what way was that, exactly?
THORN: I just wanted to talk to someone. I didn't mean to fall in love.
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