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Original: 23rd July 2020

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Fawad's POV

"You know what I think you should have done?" I asked.

Jasmina sat beside me, eating the brownies Sadia Bhabi had given her. "Yeah, yeah. I should have stood up for myself and stayed strong."

I drove aimlessly around the streets of Lahore. "Well, yeah, but, what you really should have done is given her a punch in the face."

"Excuse me." She glanced over at me. "I think I got in the wrong car. You're not my husband."

"If a guy had done that to you, I would have buried him right there and then." I said. "But since I couldn't hurt her, you should have."

"Instead I started crying." She shook her head.

I grabbed her hand. "It's okay. You were shocked."

"I seriously don't understand what you saw in her. You two are like polar opposites, and not in an 'opposites attract' sort of way, either." She held up a piece of brownie in front of my mouth and I took a bite.

"She used to be different in university." I sighed.

*
Flashback

I was nineteen when I officially met Laiba Nafees. I'd seen her around lectures and seminars, but I hadn't gotten to know her until the end of my first year of university.

She had an interest in Biology, but didn't wish to pursue a career in medicine. She just chose the subject because she wanted to go to university, and it was her favourite subject.

We'd properly met when Arhaan and I were out with friends after our last exam, exhausted but ecstatic, eagerly awaiting the summer holidays, which we planned to spend in Lahore.

"This is Laiba." One of our friends had introduced us.

She was pretty, with almost unnaturally straight black hair curtaining her face. She wore her eyeliner in a way that reminded me of Cleopatra, but it looked good on her.

While Arhaan was busy talking and laughing with our friends, Laiba and I had walked away from the group. There was an instant connection between us, and we started chatting.

She was from Karachi. She had lost her father, and at that time, lived with her mother and younger sister.

"Abbu had left some money for me and my sister." She told me as we stood outside, drinking our soft drinks. "I used my share to come and study here."

Abbu: Another way to refer to Dad.

"I'm sorry to hear about your father." I told her.

She smiled sadly, her full lips bright red, and I thought how good the colour looked on her. "Yes, losing him was hard, but my sister took it harder. She was always closer to him."

We had talked for hours, enjoying each other's company. She was sweet, kind and funny.

After that night, we had messaged each other, even as I went to Lahore with Arhaan. Laiba and I grew closer, and I realised that I was falling in love with her.

When uni started, we started dating and studied together to an extent that Arhaan started teasing me about it.

But gradually, Laiba lost interest in studying, and she started distracting me. Every time we sat down to study, she started talking about us and our plans. She said that we should get married and she would happily move to Lahore for me.

Arhaan grew concerned when I almost forgot a major assignment due to a date with Laiba, and then I spent the whole night writing it up.

"Bhai, what the heck?" He had said, looking disappointed. "My parents expect you to be a good influence on me, not the other way round."

I know that Laiba wasn't a bad person, but she was studying Biology for fun. I was studying it to build a career. I just forgot that temporarily. I spent most of my time with her, neglecting my studies.

One morning, Arhaan lost it with me. "Fawad, you're like a brother to me, but there will be plenty of time for love and romance. You need to focus on your education if you want to be a doctor."

"I'm going to propose to her." I dropped that bombshell on my best friend's head.

"Dude, you're barely twenty!" Arhaan looked at me as if I'd completely lost my mind. "You have a lot of education left. Don't f**k up your career."

"I'm in love with her." I shrugged. "Marriage is always endgame in our culture and religion, right? So why not now?"

"Bhai... I'm just saying that there's plenty of time for that." He tried to remain calm. "And Fatima Aunty will kill you if you think about marriage while barely starting your medical education."

"I love her, Arhaan!" I snapped. "And if you don't understand that, then maybe we should reconsider our friendship!"

I left angrily, but nevertheless feeling guilty. I knew that he would always want the best for me. We really were like brothers, and Arhaan always acted and behaved in a practical manner. Irritatingly, he was always right.

*

"Laiba." I put my hand on hers across the table.

"Fawad." She smiled in a flirtatious way.

I'd taken her out to one of the fanciest Pakistani restaurants I knew, blowing most of my monthly allowance from Papa.

"I'm in love with you." I said, softly.

The glow of the candlelight reflected in her eyes and she smiled. "I'm in love with you, too."

"I would like to marry you, Laiba." I had said, awkwardly. It was the most nerve-racking moment of my life.

"I want to marry you as well, Fawad." She said, excitedly, making my heart skip a beat. "But..." Her smile disappeared.

"But?" I raised an eyebrow.

"I have lived a pretty lonely life." She said. "Abbu was always working when he was alive, Ammi was always busy with socialising, and my sister had her own social circle. I haven't had much friends till now. Fawad, you've given me more love and attention than I've ever received."

I squeezed her hand.

"I can't spend my life lonely now." She looked at me, almost worriedly. "And being a doctor's wife would be pretty damn lonely, as you'll always be busy with work."

"Doctors have happy marriages too, Laiba." I said.

"You would say that." She said. "Both your parents are doctors, so they got along well. But I hate the idea of being alone day and night."

"So, you don't want to marry me?" I felt crushed.

"I do." She said. "Only if you don't become a doctor."

I was young, and totally blinded by love. I didn't even think twice before agreeing to her condition. "Yes. Okay. I'll do anything to be with you."

I'd never seen her look happier, and that made me happy.

***

"Ammi will like you." Laiba said, as we watched the waves at Clifton Beach, Karachi. 

Yes, I had done the unthinkable. For our next holiday, I flew to Karachi with Laiba, to meet her mother. I was dead serious when I'd said that I wanted to marry her, even if it meant giving up my career. 

Arhaan had flown to Lahore, and he had no idea what I was up to. As far as he knew, I had stayed behind in London. I was annoyed at him for being so judgemental about my relationship with Laiba, even though now that I thought about it, he had been bloody right all along.

"You're damn intelligent, responsible and so handsome." She smiled at me, her hair gently lifting in the sea breeze, brushing my arm. 

Responsible people don't give up their dream careers, something they've worked most of their lives for. And I had, I had always studied hard to keep up my grades, to get into the best colleges and universities. And now I was throwing it all away to marry the girl I loved.

I'm choosing love over career. How's that a bad thing? A part of me argued with myself, trying to bury the logical side under endless possibilities of a bright and romantic future with Laiba.

"Hey, don't worry so much." Laiba put a hand on my arm. "You're capable of finding a good job anywhere." 

I sighed, feeling a momentary pang of regret as I thought about how much I'd wanted to follow the path of my parents, and become a doctor myself. But I also wanted Laiba, and my love for her was making me forget my career dreams. 

But I suppose Arhaan had been the blessing in my life that I never knew that I'd needed. 

I received a call from him, as if he knew that I was being an idiot. "Laiba, I need to take this." I walked away and answered the phone. "Arhaan, nice to hear from you." 

"Why the f**k are you in Karachi? And why the f**k doesn't anyone know, including Aunty, Uncle and Fariha?!" Arhaan sounded furious. 

"I'm meeting Laiba's mother." I said. "We plan to marry soon, and I want her blessing." 

"Have you started doing drugs?!" He yelled, and I moved my phone away from my ear, wincing.

"Do people only get married because they're high?" I asked, irritated. "This is my life. Stop controlling it like you're my father." 

"You can wait until your medical education is complete." Arhaan tried to compose himself. "You're only twenty, Bhai. There's no rush." 

So, now's the time to break this to him, apparently. 

"I'm not going to be a doctor." I announced.

There was a silence for too long, and for a moment I thought that the line had dropped.

"Nice one." Arhaan laughed. "Now I know that you're just kidding. I would have believed the marriage bit, but you not becoming a doctor? Yeah, I don't think so, Bhai. Nice joke, though."

"None of this is a joke, Arhaan." I said from between gritted teeth. "Laiba doesn't want to marry a doctor, and I want to marry her." 

"I'm calling Fatima Aunty. This has gone on too long." He said. "You need an intervention, bro." 

"Don't you dare tell Ammi!" I glanced back towards Laiba, who was watching the sunset. "I'll tell my family when I'm ready." 

"Fawad..."

"I have to go." I said. "I'm with Laiba." I hung up before he could get another word it, and then walked back towards Laiba. 

"Everything okay?" She asked.

"Yeah, just Arhaan being a pain in my a**." I shook my head. "Shall we get something to eat?"

"I thought you'd never ask. I'm hungry." She grinned, as we started walking back towards my rental car. "Don't forget, tomorrow you're having lunch with me and my family, okay?" 

"How can I ever forget? That's the whole reason I'm here." I said.

***

Turns out that I never got a chance to meet Laiba's family.

Early the next morning, there was a loud knock on my hotel room door. I groaned and glanced at the time. It was half past nine. 

Why is Laiba here so early?

I yawned, got out of bed and put on my shirt from last night, before heading to the door. When I opened it, I almost jumped back in surprise.

Arhaan stood there, looking furious.

"What the actual hell?" I snapped. "Why are you acting like a husband who just caught his wife having an affair?!" 

He  brushed past me and inside the room. I closed the door with a sigh.

"How did you find me anyway?" I asked wearily, leaning against the wall. 

"All I had to do was ask Laiba for your location." He shrugged. "I said that I needed to celebrate your engagement, so she gave me your hotel address and your room number." 

"That's because she isn't as cunning as you are!" I shook my head.

"Cunning?! Twenty years from now, you'll thank me." He sighed. "Allah, forget twenty years. The moment you realise what a huge mistake you were about to make, you'll be forever in my debt." 

"I'm not about to make a mistake!" I argued. "I'm about to marry the love of my life." 

"You're about to give up something you've wanted since you were a kid!" He looked frustrated. "What the hell is wrong with you, Bhai? You're smarter than this!" 

"You either support me, or you f**k off." The words slipped out of my mouth, unintentionally.

"You can beat the s**t out of me, but I'm not backing down." He was a stubborn a**hole himself. He refused to let me be. "I'm not letting you destroy your life for her. You know why, Fawad? Because if she really loved you, she would respect what you want to do in life. She would support you!"

"I'm willing to give up anything and everything for her." I insisted.

He turned away, swearing under his breath. He didn't say anything for a few moments, and then turned back to face me. "Fariha wants to be a doctor as well, right? What if a guy asks her to give up her dream for him and she agrees? What if my future wife asks me to give up being a doctor for her? Would you quietly let us do it or would you convince us to grow a brain?!" 

I didn't reply. He was making a valid point. I would never quietly let him or my sister give up their dream career for someone. 

"You've worked hard for it, Bhai." Arhaan said. "I'm not saying dump Laiba, I'm just saying that you should think about it before you throw away your entire bright future. Ammi, Papa, your parents, and all our lectures say that you have potential to do great things. Don't give that up, bro. Think of all the people whose lives you will help in saving!"

"What should I do?" I sank down onto a chair.

"Tell Laiba that she'll have to choose: she can either accept you as who you are, or she can walk." He said. "You'll find the right girl eventually, In Sha Allah, but you will be giving up a huge career opportunity by walking away now." 

Bloody hell, he was right.

"Talk to her." He said. "I won't go back to Lahore until you've had this conversation with her. But I'm not going to let you ruin your own life. You're like my brother. I won't let Ahad or Jasmina destroy their lives, and in the same way, I won't let you do it either." 

"Fine." I nodded. "I'll message her." 

***

I called Laiba over to the hotel, and met her in the cafe downstairs. 

"We were meeting later anyway." She looked confused. "What's going on?" 

I cleared my throat as I looked at her, seated across the table from me. Her hair was in a high ponytail, and she wore skinny jeans and a loose bohemian pink shirt. As always, I couldn't help admiring how pretty she was. "Laiba, I acted impulsively. I made decisions based on love, and not logic." 

"What do you mean?" She looked worried, as she seemed to realise exactly what I meant.

"I'm not giving up being a doctor." I said. "It's everything to me and it's all I want to do."

"You can get so many well-paid job, Fawad!" She protested.

"It's not about the money, Laiba." I said. "It's about what I want to do. I want to help people, help save lives; that's who I am, that's who I want to be."

"Don't you want to be with me?" Her eyes filled up. "What about our love for each other?" 

"If the situation was reversed, I would never ask you to make such a sacrifice, Laiba. Because when you love someone, you accept them as who they are." I paused. "When I marry someone, I'll always support her in what she wants to do, but I also want to marry a girl who supports me. Isn't that the whole point of marriage? Supporting each other?" 

"How are we supposed to have a marriage when you're hardly going to be home?!" Tears escaped her eyes, but she didn't bother to wipe them away. "I can't be with a doctor, Fawad! I don't want to be up all night, waiting for my husband to come up. I don't want to raise kids on my own, practically. I don't want my husband to miss out major life events of my life and our kids' lives because he's too busy at work!"

"Too busy at work?" I scoffed. "Laiba, you're acting like I'll miss out on major events while clubbing with my friends! The only time my parents, both doctors, ever missed out on major events in our lives was because of emergencies. And I was glad that they missed me winning the award for Biology, because they were at the hospital saving lives!" 

"I don't want this." She was sobbing. "I love you, but I can't marry you if you intend to go ahead with studying to be a doctor." 

"Then you don't really love me at all." I whispered. "I'm not giving up my career, Laiba. I'm sorry. It's too important to me." I stood up. "I'm going to Lahore. Let me know by the end of the day if you change your mind." I turned to walk away.

"You're the one who doesn't love me!" She said. "You can't even give up your career for me. You're being incredibly selfish, thinking only about what you want." 

"I guess I'm selfish then." I didn't want to argue with her. Without another look in her direction, I headed out of the cafe and towards the lift.

It hurt like nobody's business, but I also felt lighter, more relieved.

Arhaan had possibly just saved me from a lifetime of regret.

***

PRESENT

Who was I kidding?  She wasn't different in university, now that I thought about it.

She'd always been the same, selfish brat. The only difference was that I was too much in love to notice her flaws. 

I glanced over at Jasmina and chuckled. She was looking thoughtful, biting her lower lip. There was chocolate smudged at the corner of her mouth. 

As I parked in the underground car parking of our apartment building, I leaned over and kissed the corner of her mouth. 

She looked at me. "What was that for?"

"You had some chocolate there, and I couldn't resist tasting something delicious." I winked at her.

She blushed. "The brownie?" 

"Yeah, sure. The brownie." Chuckling again, I got out of the car. 

She also got out and we walked towards the lifts, her hand in mine.

"Can I ask you something?" She asked as we stepped into the lift.

"Since when do you need my permission?" I grinned. 

"Since I'm such a dutiful wife." She giggled, leaning her head against my arm. She paused. "Where do you want to live? Be honest. Do you want to go back, or do you want to stay here, in Lahore?" 

I looked down at her, surprised. "Where's that question coming from?" 

She sighed. "You're always so happy and relaxed here in Lahore. Everything seems so natural. You like being around family and friends." 

"You've been observing me carefully, haven't you?"

"You're my husband. I pay attention." She said, shrugging. "So tell me, doctor. Where do you want to live?" 

"Honestly? Here." I said, as we got off on our floor and headed towards our flat. 

She was silent as I unlocked the door and pushed it open. "So... basically, you're only going back for me?" 

We walked into the flat and I closed the door behind us. "I could have an excellent job here, our families are here, our friends are here. We have no problems, no issues. We'll have everything we need here." 

She looked upset.

"Mina, I don't mind either way, as long as you're happy." I wrapped an arm around her, pulling her against myself.

"But you're happier here?" 

"Mina, stop." 

"I feel guilty." She said, looking up at me. "I don't want you to make sacrifices for my sake." 

"I'm not." I kissed the top of her head. "I like seeing you happy." 

***

Till dinner we just hung out around the flat, watching TV and just talking. For dinner we were going to go Mina's parents' house, where both our families were gathering for a sort of a farewell dinner for my wife.

"Ready?" I entered our bedroom and saw her standing there in jeans and a black long-sleeved lace shirt, her hair hung loose around her face.

"Yeah, let's go." She sniffed.

"Mina, don't be upset." I walked over to hug her. "I love you and I won't be able to let you go like this." 

"Then don't!" She said. "Stop me! Say it once, seriously, and I won't go." She began to cry. "I don't want to go. I don't want to leave you." 

I tightened my arms around her. "It's only a few days, jaan." 

"I hope I misplace my passport." She muttered. "Or the flight is cancelled for a week." 

I laughed. "Let's go, you weirdo. Everyone's waiting for us." I looked down at her and suddenly I wanted to tell her to stay. I know she would, but I couldn't be that selfish. 

"How could I have fallen so much in love in such a short period of time?" She whispered, her hand resting on my cheek.

I leaned down and kissed her, but not for long because I knew that which each passing moment, I was getting closer and closer to telling her to stay with me.

***

Dinner was pretty emotional for Mina. She was crying through it, constantly being reassured by us all. 

"If you don't want to go, don't." Ammi told her. "You're much happier here anyway, beta." 

Mina looked at me, and I held her hand under the dinner table, before looking at my mother. "I wish I could stay, Ammi, but I have things to do there." 

I glanced at her surprised as she called her 'Ammi'. Even Ammi was beaming, hearing that word from her.

After dinner, we all sat in the drawing room and had tea, laughing and chatting and talking about past happy memories. 

Before long, I looked at the time and stood up. "Mina, we should get going. You know it's busy at the airport at this time. Getting through security is a pain."

After an emotional goodbye with the entire family, Mina followed me out to the car. 

As we drove away from her parents' house, she wouldn't stop crying. 

"Mina, stop..." I put a hand on hers. 

The airport wasn't too far from our area, and soon I was parking the car. I took out her luggage and grabbed an abandoned trolley from nearby before loading her stuff on there. She slid her arm through mine as we walked up to the International Departures. 

"I'm going to talk to a porter, and he'll take in all your luggage for you, all the way to baggage drop. If he gives you any trouble inside, call me." I waved down a porter, who seemed to be eagerly waiting for someone to ask him for help.

The porter and I spoke for a while, until we finally agreed on a price (which I still felt was too much, but maybe this way he won't trouble her.)

"Do not bother her inside." I warned her. "She's stressed. I don't want you causing her any more problems. Stick to this price, am I clear?" 

"Don't worry, Sir." The porter nodded.

"Call me when you land, Mina." I glanced at my wife, gently grabbing her elbow. "Take good care of yourself, okay?" I wanted to kiss her, but we were surrounded by a crowd of passengers and people who were there to see them off. "I love you." 

"I love you, too." She sighed. 

"Keep me updated. Call me once you're done with check in, okay?"

"Allah Hafiz, Fawad." Fresh tears escaped her eyes as I gave her a quick hug.

"Allah Hafiz, jaan." It was hard to let her go, but I knew that I had to.

I watched the porter lead her inside, through the queue of people. She turned to wave at me once before heading through security.

***

I waited in the car. As soon as she would call me after check in, I would go home.

I sat back in the seat, yawning. 

A short while later my phone rang, and I grabbed it. "Hey, you done?" 

"Where are you?" Mina's voice sounded calmer now, almost happy.

"I'm still in the car parking." I sat up. "Everything okay? You didn't have any excess luggage issue, did you?"

"I've been constantly thinking, jaan." She said. "And I was thinking why should you always have to make sacrifices for the girl you love? So, after I came in through security, I didn't go to check in. I went to the airline ticket desk and I cancelled my ticket. I'm not going back, Fawad. I want to live here with you, permanently." 

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