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Original: 25th July 2020

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"Why is Jeremy calling you, Jasmina?" Fatima Aunty repeated as she glanced at the caller ID of the phone call that I was just receiving.

"I... I don't know, Aunty. I haven't directly spoken to him since before our wedding." I rejected the call.

"Don't do it again." She said, quietly. "Forgiveness is only granted once, for the same mistake." 

"I promise, I have no intention of repeating what I did." I said. "I love Fawad." 

"I'm not joking, Jasmina." She said. "If you hurt my son again..."

"I won't." I assured her.

But she remained distant from me for the rest of the evening.

***

"How do I block his number?!" Irritated, I threw my phone onto the bed. 

I think I would have to download an app to block his number now.

My phone rang and I stared at it as if it was haunted. Jeremy had already called me twice after the initial call, and I was ready to jump through the phone and kick him where the sun didn't shine.

I reached for the phone and prepared to scream into it, hoping that he would be bloody deafened by it. Fortunately, I saw the caller ID before I screamed.

"Assalam Alaikum, Fawad." I sank down onto the bed, relieved.

"Walaikum Assalam." He replied, his warm voice seeming like cool water that was poured onto the burning fire of rage inside me. "Just to let you know that we've reached." 

"Allhumdulillah." I said, softly. "Was the ride okay?" 

"A bit tiring, but it reminded us of the good old days." He said. "It was nostalgic." 

I smiled. "That's good." 

"You okay? Everything okay back there?" 

Well, your Ammi probably hates me and won't ever trust me again, but yeah, all's well. Oh, and Umair came over and threw a tantrum. 

"Everything's okay, Allhumdulillah." I lay down onto the bed. "What time do you expect to be back in Lahore tomorrow?" 

"Missing me already?" He sounded amused. "It's just been a few hours, Mina." He chuckled. "We should be back around five in the evening, In Sha Allah." 

"I guess I'll just sleep through the day. You can wake me up when you get here." 

"Actually, I need a favour from you." He said. "Ammi's going shopping tomorrow morning, to get stuff for Bisma Khalla's stay here. Would you mind going with her?" 

"Sure, no problem." I said. "But I'm going to stock up on snacks, and you pay for it." 

"Done." He laughed.

"I'm kidding." I rolled my eyes. "Well, about the part where you pay. I'm still getting the snacks though." 

"I wouldn't expect anything else." 

***

"Ammi?" 

We were in a bazaar, me and Fatima Aunty, making our way through the tightly packed narrow streets and avoiding motorcycles that zig-zagged their way between the pedestrians. This wasn't the type of place where we normally came, but apparently Bisma Khalla liked pine nuts, peanuts and other dried fruit from a shop here, and Aunty wanted to get them.

"Yes?" Aunty didn't even look at me as we arrived at a small shop, tucked in between a clothes' shop and a cafe. She walked up the three steps and the guard opened the glass door, and I followed.

I was relieved to step into the air conditioned shop, and I breathed in the scent of nuts and savouries. 

"I really haven't spoken to Jeremy since before I got married." I told her as she started looking through the packets of pine nuts. "I'm completely loyal to Fawad. Please don't be angry at me. I really have no idea why he was calling me." 

She looked at me, sighing. "Jasmina, you know why I'm worried, right?" 

"I understand." I nodded. "But, trust me, there's nothing for you to be worried about." 

Her tensed expressions eased up a little. "Okay, fine." She even managed to give me a small smile. 

As Aunty selected what she wanted, I looked around the small shop. 

"Would you like something, beta?" Aunty asked me.

"No, thank you." Just as I spoke, I spotted a big bag of jellies that looked temptingly delicious. 

Okay, I would totally like those.

Aunty seemed to have followed my gaze, as she asked the shop keeper to pack up a bag along with the other items. 

"Thank you, Ammi." 

"I remember how much you used to love jellies." She said as we walked out of the shop after she'd paid. "We used to stock our kitchen with jellies especially for you." 

"Yes, but Ahad Bhai and Fariha used to steal them." I giggled. "And I used to cry about it." I was carrying the heavier bags for her, and I was already getting out of breath. 

"I'll carry them." She offered.

"No, it's fine." I smiled. "I'm just unfit." 

The road was uneven and I almost tripped a few times, while almost getting run over by a motorcycle countless times.

Finally, the seemingly endless road gave way to the main road, and I saw the family car parked outside a restaurant. Aunty and I quickly headed that way and got into the car as the driver loaded the bags into the car boot. 

"We need to make a quick stop at my mother-in-law's house." Aunty said, stiffly. "Ali wanted me to buy some peanuts and pine nuts for them as well." 

I knew there were some issues between them, but I didn't press further. If Aunty wanted to tell me, she would tell me herself. I had no intention of asking.

Dadi's house wasn't too far from there, approximately just a seven minutes drive.

"Do you want me to stay in the car?" I asked.

"No, dear. Come inside." Aunty said, getting out of the car.

We headed down the narrow alley after Aunty had grabbed a couple of bags from the car boot. She knocked on the grey gate, and I blushed as I remembered how Fawad had kissed me here the last time we'd come here.

"Come in!" Saira Phupho's voice called out from upstairs. 

Aunty pushed open the gate and we headed inside. We climbed the Everest-level stairs and saw Saira Phupho standing outside the kitchen, drying her hands on her dupatta. She didn't look happy to see Aunty, but a warm smile appeared on her face as she saw me.

"Assalam Alaikum!" I greeted Phupho.

I didn't fail to notice that my mother-in-law barely acknowledged her.

"Walaikum Assalam, Jasmina." Phupho said. 

Aunty immediately headed inside to Dadi's room. "Assalam Alaikum, Ammi Jaan." 

I followed and saw Dadi Jaan lying down, as if for an afternoon nap. She smiled as she saw us enter. 

"Walaikum Assalam." 

"Are you feeling well?" Aunty asked her, taking a seat beside her. 

"Allhumdulillah." Dadi Jaan replied. "You brought Jasmina with you, that's wonderful!"

Saira Phupho entered the room, and took a seat on the empty charpai. "Fawad's wedding was wonderful. It's a shame that his father's side of the family were kept as far away from the front as possible." 

A tense silence filled the room.

"I didn't want to create a scene at my only son's wedding." Aunty said, stiffly. "And I'd rather that you don't do this in front of my daughter-in-law. She comes from a well-educated, well-mannered family." 

"She should know!" Saira Phupho snapped.

"Saira!" Dadi Jaan said, almost pleadingly. "Stop it." 

"And what do you mean 'create a scene'?" Phupho continued, nevertheless. "Who do you think we are?" 

"I'm not getting into this right now." Aunty said. "Ammi Jaan, I brought you some things. Ali wanted to come as well, but he had some things that he needed to do." 

"Why didn't Fawad come?" Dadi Jaan asked. "It's always so wonderful to see him. He's such a sweet, well-behaved boy." 

"He isn't here, but he said 'salaam'." Aunty said.

And now I realised why he sent me along with Aunty; he wanted me around so that his mother doesn't have to face as much crap from his Phupho as she might have in my absence. Ma Sha Allah, my guy was overprotective of everyone he loved. 

"Jasmina, please head up to the roof." Saira Phupho said. "There's some things that I need to talk to your saas about." 

"You're sending her up to the roof in this sweltering heat?!" Aunty seemed to be struggling to control her temper.

"Well, we can talk about this in front of her, if you want." Phupho said. "But we're definitely talking about this. You have taken our brother away from his family, and..."

"I'll go up to the roof." I stood up.

"What you did was unforgivable." Aunty said, her voice rising.

As I headed up the stairs, I heard something that confused the hell out of me.

"You tried to keep my firstborn away from me!" Aunty sounded like she was in tears.

What?

This was awkward, seriously awkward. I didn't want to be here right now. 

I went up to the furthest corner of the roof, where there was a makeshift bench, with a wooden slab set upon two piles of bricks. I sat down it, grateful to be in the shadow of the wall and out of the migraine-inducing sun. 

I wasn't used to this sort of family politics. My mother had always gotten along very well with her in-laws, and Bhabi got along well with Ammi and me. 

But then my thoughts wandered to something that Aunty had just said: "You tried to keep my firstborn away from me!" 

What did that mean? And if that really was the case, then Aunty had a legit reason to be angry at this family.                     

I heard angry voices for a while, but then suddenly, it was completely silent.

Should I go downstairs and check?

I made my way across the roof and down the stairs. 

Saira Phupho was now cooking in the kitchen, and as I went into Dadi's room, I saw that she was alone.

"Where's Ammi?" I asked, glancing around.

"She's left." Dadi Jaan replied. "She was a little upset, so I asked her to leave you here. Fawad will pick you up when he gets back from Rawalpindi." 

What the actual hell? Aunty left me here?! With people I hardly knew?!

"You can have lunch with us, and then head downstairs for a rest." Dadi Jaan continued. 

I was starting to have a panic attack. The fact that it was boiling hot, despite the ceiling fan, made it harder for me to breathe. "Excuse me for a minute, Dadi Jaan." 

I got up and ran downstairs and out of the gate, hoping to find my mother-in-law still there, but the car was gone. 

How could she just leave me here?

I felt tears escape my eyes as I looked around at the cramped, unfamiliar street. A street vendor loudly yelled, calling out the names of the various fruits and vegetables that he was selling. A woman in a balcony across the street hung freshly washed laundry on the railing, looking curiously at me. Children ran around the street, almost expertly dodging the motorcycles that passed by. I heard voices from houses around me, and for a second I felt like I was in a kaleidoscope, with various colours and sounds mixing together, making me feel light-headed.

Suddenly, I felt like a child. I cried out internally for my parents, my big brothers. I felt desperately alone and lost.

I backed up into the alley, wiping the tears from my cheeks. Breathe. Deep breaths, Jasmina. Deep breaths.

I was at my husband's Dadi's house. They were strangers to me, but not to him. I shouldn't panic. Aunty wouldn't just leave me here if I wasn't safe here, right?

"Jasmina!" Phupho's voice came from upstairs.

"Y-Yes, Phupho?" I called out, my voice shaking.

"Come up here, beta!" 

I headed inside and up the stairs. She was sitting on a little stool on the kitchen floor, kneading flour. "Yes, Phupho?" 

"I'm busy. Would you mind making tea for me and Dadi Jaan?" She asked.

I glanced at the gas stove, the one that was operated using a gas cylinder and matchsticks. "I... I don't know how to use that." 

She actually rolled her eyes. "I'll turn it on for you. Just fill a pot with water and set it on the stove, and there is some tea in the jar in the cabinet to the right." 

I followed her instructions, finally setting the pot on the stove, adding the tea to it.

"Your mother-in-law is very dramatic." She muttered. "Overreacting over everything." 

I didn't reply.

"First, she kept my brother away from us, and then our nephew and niece." She shook her head, her eyes on the dough that she was kneading in a large silver bowl.

"I'd rather not talk about this." I said. "My parents have never involved me in family politics." 

She looked up at me, sharply, pursing her lips, and for a moment I was afraid of being told off like a little child, but she didn't reply.

We didn't speak again until the tea was done. I poured it into two cups. 

"Take the cups inside." She said. "And after that, get the jar of biscuits out of the cupboard next to Dadi Jaan's charpai." 

I just stared at her, stunned.

"Why are you looking so surprised?" She stood up. "Fawad is the eldest grandchild, and that makes you the eldest daughter-in-law. You know that the eldest daughter-in-law has a lot of responsibilities, right?" 

Quietly, I took the cups inside and set them on the table. Dadi Jaan was dozing off, oblivious to everything. I wondered for a second if she would have stopped Saira Phupho from letting me do these small tasks. Opening the cupboard, I scanned the shelves with my eyes until I found the jar of biscuits. As I was pulling it out, I gasped.

I saw a very familiar jewellery box tucked away at the back. I recognised it immediately, because it had stood out in the shop where my Ammi, Bhabi and I had bought it from. I glanced over my shoulder to check if the coast was clear, and then with shaking hands, I reached out and lifted up the lid of the box. 

No.

It was the very same necklace that my parents had lovingly gifted to me at my wedding, the diamond set, with matching earrings. I turned and saw Saira Phupho glaring at me, and I felt angry. 

"What's my necklace doing here?" I asked.

"All the jewellery of the daughters-in-law of the family is kept with us for safekeeping." Phupho explained. "I just never got the chance to keep this somewhere safe." 

"Thanks, but I can look after it myself." I said, grabbing the box.

"We're not stealing it. We're just looking after it." Phupho said. "Even your mother-in-law keeps hers here." 

"I don't care who keeps their jewellery here or who doesn't." I said. "My parents gifted this to me, so it will stay with me."

"Saira, it's her jewellery. Let her keep it." Dadi Jaan had woken up, and interrupted before this discussion developed into a full blown argument.

"You know what." I clutched the box against my chest. "I'm calling someone to take me home. I think it's best if I leave." 

"You're disregarding family traditions." Phupho snapped.

"If traditions means that my property is taken without my permission, then yes." I shrugged. "I am disregarding them. Dadi Jaan, I mean no disrespect, but this is a gift from my parents." 

"Of course, beta." Dadi Jaan nodded. "Take it with you." 

I stuffed the box inside my handbag, and pulled out my phone. I headed out to try and call Ahad Bhai, but he didn't answer, so he was probably at work. I wasn't sure if he knew the directions to this place anyway. This place was in the centre of a maze of cramped residential streets of Lahore.

I dialled Papa's number. "Assalam Alaikum, Papa."

"Walaikum Assalam, Jasmina." My father sounded pleased to hear from me. "Tell me that you're coming to see us."

"Actually, Papa, I need a favour." I said. "Are you at work?" 

"No, beta. I'm off today." 

"Do you remember the directions to Fawad's Dadi's house?" I asked. "We had dinner there once, before we got married?" 

"Yes, it should be in the history of my car's GPS." Papa replied.

"Would you mind picking me up from there?" I asked. 

***

I couldn't wait for Fawad to pick me up because if I had, Phupho would have forced me to work like a frickin' donkey, and/or we would have had a massive argument.

However, I didn't complain to my father. I didn't tell him about the diamond set, and I didn't tell him that Fatima Aunty had basically abandoned me at Dadi's house. I just told him that she had to leave suddenly, and Dadi had insisted that I stayed.

"Everything okay?" Papa looked at me, concerned, as he drove me home.

"Yes, Papa. Why do you ask?" 

"You're quiet." He said, smiling. "That's very unusual for you." 

I shrugged. "I'm tired. We went shopping in a bazaar earlier, and I'm exhausted from it." 

"Ah, but shopping in a Lahore bazaar is like an adventure!" He laughed. "I grew up in similar areas to the one where Fawad's Dadi lives. Our local 'shopping mall' was one of those bazaars. I used to enjoy going there, and we had to go there a lot, especially when I was older. There are some really good bookshops there, perfect to buy textbooks." 

"Well, you never raised your children to shop in those bazaars, father dearest." I sighed.

He smiled, almost sadly. "I regret it. We should have shown you all the best of both worlds. It would have helped you adapt in all sorts of situations." 

"I'm still willing to try and adapt, Papa." I said. "I would just need some time." 

"You're a very sensible girl, Jasmina." He patted my head. 

I wish I was, Papa. I wish I was.

***

"You got your Papa to bring you home?" Aunty asked, surprised.

"I did." I said. "I couldn't stay there anymore." 

She sighed. "Now you see how I feel?" 

I hesitated before I spoke again. "I wish you hadn't left me there, Aunty. I didn't feel comfortable there on my own." 

"Did you tell your Papa?"  She tried to look nonchalant, but I knew that she was really curious to hear my answer.

"No." I said. "I just told him that you had to leave suddenly, and that Dadi had insisted that I stayed longer."

"Okay, but, you shouldn't get your parents involved in these matters, Jasmina." She said. "You should have called me and I would have sent the driver back. I just figured that since you got along so well with them, you wouldn't mind staying there a while longer." 

"They're still virtually strangers for me, Aunty." My voice broke.

"Don't be dramatic, Jasmina. Whether we like it or not, they're still your in-laws." She shook her head, turning away. 

Quietly, I turned and rushed out of the kitchen and up the stairs. The moment I entered our room and closed the door behind me, I burst into tears. 

If only I knew then how much more difficult my life was about to become.

***

I had just finished a video call with Elena, when I heard the car horn outside. 

"Thank Allah! Fawad!" I jumped off the bed and out of the room. I rushed downstairs, my heart pounding hard at the excitement of seeing my husband again.

Aunty was already standing at the door, a huge smile on her face as she stared outside. "Bisma Appi!" 

Her sister, who looked quite elderly compared to her, entered, walking using a walking stick. She wore a plain white shalwar kameez, with a dupatta covering her white hair. She wore thick glasses that she peered over as she greeted her younger sister.

"Fatima!" She said, happily, as they hugged tightly. She pulled back and turned her sharp gaze on me. 

I was so nervous that I forgot to say 'Assalam Alaikum'.

"Is this your daughter-in-law?" Bisma Khalla said, sounding irritated. "Didn't her parents teach her any manners? She can't even greet her elders." 

Unfortunately, that's the moment Fawad entered... with Arhaan Bhai, who looked very unhappy hearing his parents and sister being insulted.

"Assalam Alaikum." My cheeks burning, I nervously cracked my fingers. 

"Appi, she's Jasmina, Arhaan's sister." Aunty pointedly nodded towards my big brother.

I'd had a very tough day and I was fighting to control my tears. 

"Khalla, you make us all nervous." Fawad told her. "She's the new daughter-in-law; of course it'll be harder for her." He came and stood next to me, and his presence itself gave me comfort.

"I left my car here yesterday." Arhaan Bhai cleared his throat. "I'll just be on my way then." 

"Beta, stay for dinner." Aunty told him.

"I would, but Sadia would lose it." Bhai laughed lightly. "One day and she misses me so much." 

Fawad and I exchanged a look. I knew that feeling very well.

"You want to see Arhaan off, Mina?" He asked, gently.

I nodded.

Fawad and Arhaan Bhai hugged and said their goodbyes before I walked my brother out.

Once we were outside alone, I couldn't stop a tear from escaping.

"Jazzy." Bhai wrapped an arm around me. "Don't take her words to the heart." 

I started crying harder, wanting to leave with him. 

"Jazzy, beta." He playfully ruffled my hair with his other hand.

"I want to go with you." I sobbed. "I don't want to be here." 

"Don't say that." He grabbed my shoulders and looked down at me. "You know how much Fawad missed you?" 

"He did?" 

"He didn't directly admit it, but I know the guy like I know myself." He laughed. "He was constantly lost in his own thoughts, and quieter than usual. And shall I tell you a little secret?" He lowered his voice for the last sentence, as if sharing a conspiracy with me.

"What?"

"He accidentally called one of his cousins 'Mina'." He smiled.

"Really?" I giggled. 

"He's crazy about you. You should stay for his sake." He said.

I nodded. "Only for his sake, at this point." 

He hugged me again before he got in his car and left. 

When I went back inside, a maid told me that Aunty and Bisma Khalla were in the guest room, where Aunty was helping her sister settle in, and Fawad had gone upstairs to our room.

I practically ran up the stairs and towards our room. 

I burst into the room, where he was standing shirtless by the closet, grabbing a towel and clean clothes. He looked surprised when I entered like there was a bloody fire. 

"Fawad!" Closing the door behind me, I ran up to him and into his arms, causing him to stumble a little.

"I'm guessing someone really missed me." He held me tightly.

I closed my eyes, clinging onto him as if my life depended on it. "You've no idea how glad I am that you're back, jaan." 

"Mina." He pulled back, but kept his arms around me. "I'm really sorry about Khalla's behaviour. I actually should apologise to Arhaan as well." 

"You don't have to apologise, jaan." I gave him a small smile. "I'm just glad that you're here with me now. There's so much that I want to talk to you about." 

"You okay?" He looked concerned.

"I went shopping in a proper bazaar today!" I told him, excitedly. "It was scary and fun at the same time. I was..." I started blabbing on, describing my experience there.

He smiled in amusement, watching me behave like an excited child. 

I didn't want to burden him with problems, especially not right after he'd returned from a long drive from Rawalpindi. "Go take your shower. We'll talk over coffee."

"Is there still anything left to say?" He teased me.

"Oh, hush!" I rolled my eyes. "I have to make up for the last twenty-four hours, meri jaan." I leaned up to kiss him, and we remained there for a while, both relieved to be together at last.

When we were together, I was ready to face any problem in the world, even the political world of the in-laws.

***