noun ~ bitter indignation at having been treated unfairly

CHARLIE

"I didn't know the seats could recline that far." I muttered.

Calida giggled from beside me, having climbed from my lap back into her own seat. I frowned at the loss of contact, wanting her back over me.

"Where are you going?" I pouted.

"Back to my-

I reached over and grabbed her, pulling her dishevelled appearance back over me. She squeaked at the effortless motion, huffing when I lay her across my bare body. I grinned up at her, pushing the stray hairs from her face as she glared at me.

"I'm not a doll, you know." She scolded.

"You're as pretty as one."

"Dolls are creepy." She frowned.

"Exactly." I grinned.

She squealed my name with protest as I laughed, my body shaking hers.

We had fucked in the car; there was no way else to describe it. The windows were foggy and condensed from an intense half an hour. After climbing on my lap, our kisses turned heated and soon we were naked and pressed into the leather seat. Much to my surprise, Calida sank herself onto my length and took control. It was oddly enthralling to watch her ride me, my hands grabbing every piece of her supple flesh as my eyes took in the beautiful sight.

Also, much to my pleasure, I learnt that the driver's seat lay all the way back until the head rest hit the back seat. So, there was plenty of room for me to take over, but she refused. She rode me until I came inside of her, moaning softly as I chewed on my fists to resist marking her.

And now she lay across my body, her scent blended with my own. It pleased me, and my wolf was more than happy to smell us all over her.

Her fingers caressed my skin, and my hands cradled her shoulders to my bare chest.

"Charlie..." She sighed.

"Calida..." I mimicked.

Her lips quirked, an amused glint in her eyes. "Stop it."

"Stop what?"

"Stop being adorable."

"You think I'm adorable?" I grinned.

Calida rolled her eyes. "Stop!"

My laughter echoed around the vehicle, and when she climbed from my lap once more, I let her. Pulling my seat back upright, I turned on the car to defog the windows.

"What were you going to say?" I wondered.

"Huh?" she startled, mid-way getting dressed. "Oh, nothing."

I eyed her with a frown, but joined in with getting dressed. I merely pulled my shorts up, warm enough not to bother with my t-shirt. It was somewhere in the back anyway, and unlike Calida, I did not fancy gymnastics to retrieve it.

"Ready to go back?"

She nodded, buckling her belt. "I am. All this hard work has made me hungry."

"Hard work?" I grinned, turning the car around. "Is that what you call this?"

"Hey, I just rode your dick for like twenty minutes." She exhaled. "That deserves a medal."

"I shall get you one custom made." I grinned.

Her light laughter warmed my heart, and the car filled with a soft silence as the radio sang. It was growing dark, the sun setting in the distance. I hummed softly with the song on the radio, my hand searching for Calida's on her lap. Taking it into my grip, I pulled it to the middle as I lowered a gear to curve round a corner.

"So... do you take all your girls there?" She cocked her head.

Not shrinking under her words, I shook my head with a toothy grin. "Is it that surprising that you are the first?"

Startled, she inhaled sharply. "First?"

"In every way." I nodded, glancing at her quickly.

"You mean to tell me, at your grand old age, you never once..."

"Nope." I shook my head, smiling. "After becoming rogue, I focused on being beta. It never happened."

"Nobody caught your eye?"

"Calida, I knew my mate was out there." I began. "What's the point in someone else when the perfect person was waiting for me this whole time?"

She dropped her eyes to her lap, frowning, deep in thought. I counted to twenty before being unable to stay quiet.

"What's wrong?" I wondered.

"I feel bad."

"What for?" My eyebrows furrowed.

"I'm not-

"Don't even start with the virgin shit, Calida." I rolled my eyes. "Virginity is a concept. You are not used, or old, or whatever crap you're going to tell me."

"But you waited for me." She shook her head. "Even when you found me, you waited and waited, never knowing if I would accept you."

It was my turn to frown. "So?"

"What if I never accepted you? What if I rejected the bond and ran away?"

"I would still wait." I shrugged.

"Why?"

I glanced at her, smiling softly. "Remember that day Nova forced me to talk to you when you were sad? I told you I would wait for you, no matter what. I meant that, Calida. Time, space, months, years, whatever it took, I would still be here for your return."

"You wouldn't move on?"

"I have hope in the mate bond." I shrugged. "Call me naïve."

I knew it was unlike me to be so open. I often kept everything in my mind separated. There was a part of me I showed nobody, but Calida was slowly opening that pandora's box.

"If I never accepted you?"

"As long as you were happy, I would be happy." I shook my head, frowning.

"Oh." she mumbled.

An awkward silence echoed around the car, and I debated continuing the conversation, but she spoke again.

"Is it hard?"

I hesitated, wondering what she was asking. "Uh... Driving?"

"No, no... The instinct." She hurried.

I blinked, still confused. "Instinct of... driving?"

Her laugh was forced and short, and I grimaced.

"Is it hard resisting the bond?" She whispered.

Unsure where this had come from, I glanced at her briefly. She was frowning down at where our hands joined on the gearshift, her eyebrows furrowed.

Did I lie? Or tell her the truth?

I didn't want to upset her by telling the truth, but I didn't want to sugarcoat it. She was my mate after all, and look what keeping things did to Phoenix. He was in the doghouse for months!

Sighing, I muttered a yes. "It can be."

"Oh." She frowned. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry." I insisted. "I will not push you, Calida. It doesn't change how I feel about you."

She was quiet, and when I caught the scent of her salty tears, my worry grew.

"Calida-

"Can you stop the car?"

"Calida-

"Please, can you stop the car?" She gasped for breath, her hand slipping from mine.

I hurriedly pressed the brake, worried that something was wrong. Her hands were wrapping around the handle and pushing open the door before I could even pull her to a complete stop. Calida tumbled from the car onto her hands and knees and I cursed, startled.

She scrambled up before I could even open my door, and was hurrying away with her hand to her face.

"Calida!" I shouted as she ran into the trees.

We were in the middle of the forest, and the trees shrouded the last of the sunset's light.

"Please." She gasped.

My head snapped to the side, finding her leaning against a tree.

"What's wrong?" I whispered, approaching her.

"Don't come near me, Charlie."

"Calida..."

"Please, leave me alone."

My heart ached, my wolf whining inside of my chest. "I don't understand..."

"You don't deserve this, Charlie."

"Calida..."

"Please, stop saying my name."

I swallowed the lump in my throat, my shoulders straightening at the harsh tone of her voice. She was crying, whimpering to herself, and there was nothing I could do about it. I mean, I could approach her and break the trust she held in me, but that would probably end up worse than listening to her.

I inhaled deeply, feeling the sorrow and smelling the fear on her skin. I could smell rain coming too, which never ended well in the summer.

"Please, get back in the car." I mumbled. "It's going to rain soon."

"I don't care." She cried. "Leave me here, Charlie."

"I can't do that." I shook my head.

"Fucking hell, just listen to me!" she whirred around, snapping at me.

I staggered back a step, my eyes wide as hers swirled a million emotions. Her gaze was hard, but broken, and I didn't know what to do.

"You don't deserve me, Charlie."

I shook my head. "Don't say that. You are worth more than I am in every way, but you are-

"You're not listening!" She shook her head. "You deserve more than me! I am nothing! You deserve better."

My eyebrows furrowed. "Calida-

"Leave me alone, Charlie!" She yelled. "Go away!"

"I can't." I whispered.

"Get in the car."

"I don't want to leave you."

"Just get in the fucking car!" She shouted, grabbing a stick and throwing it my way.

I let it hit me in the chest, utterly confused at her outburst. I don't know why she was feeling this way. Her insecurity had taken over her mind, triggered by something. Was it something I said? Something I did? Was it the car journey? I thought being open about my feelings toward her would make her feel comforted, make her know how amazing she was.

What changed?

"Please..." It was my turn to beg, my voice a whisper.

"Get in the car, Charlie." She stated, her voice void of emotion.

"Okay. If that is what will help." I muttered, defeated. "But I will not leave you here."

She scoffed, her head falling backward. "Of course you won't."

My eyes hardened, and I paused my retreat.. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"You always have to be the good guy." She snapped. "It's fucking... it's fucking boring!"

"I'm just being me, Calida." I frowned. "This is who I am."

"Fuck off!"

I recoiled, my confusion turning to hurt and then anger. She didn't mean this, did she? I wasn't a bad guy, was I? What did I do wrong?

"Just be a dick for once, Charlie, like you are with strangers. Pretend I am nobody and fucking drive away!" She shouted.

I shook my head, staggering back a step. "What's happened?"

"You tell me." She rolled her eyes. "Go back to your perfect life. I don't want you here!"

My jaw ticked, anger boiling to take over. "You don't know what you're saying."

"I am not insane!" She screeched. "So, get in that fucking dickhead car and fuck off!"

Like an elastic band, my posture shifted. Walls I had crumbled down for her built back up, and my body tensed. I felt my face shift, turning into a hardened shield as I gazed back into her dark eyes. I wouldn't show her how much it affected me, how much I wanted to scream and shout and cry with her.

I was confused.

I was angry.

But most of all, I was hurt.

So, with a firm nod, I dropped my eyes, got in the car, and drove away.

Her frame grew smaller in my rearview, and my hands tightened around the steering wheel. I wanted to go back, wanted to sweep her off her feet and force her to look me in the eye. My every being burned to go back to her. I couldn't just leave here there. She was defenceless, emotional, and fuck, this was still human land!

Once I turned another corner, I cursed and slammed the brakes on.

Fuck this.

I wasn't leaving her there.

I had driven a distance, but I was too stunned to give a shit. As I climbed from the car, the sound of the engine running echoed through the trees. Nostrils flaring, I caught the scent of the oncoming rain, the anticipation of when it would break from the clouds rousing my nerves. Beneath the damp clouds, I smelt her tears as she tried to run away, but then her fear struck me like a chord, and I staggered.

Why was she scared?

Hurrying my pace, I felt my entire world shift when her scream pierced the air.

"Charlie!"

A pain in my chest like no other. I stumbled to the ground, blinded. It was raw, and primal, and full of everything I feared. The scent of fear mixed with her blood, and I quickly shook off the bond haze and stumbled to my feet.

I smelt a wolf, and not the friendly kind.

Not again.

Not another person I loved.

I had to make it in time.

I had to.

I couldn't lose somebody else I loved.