062220

My (possibly) favorite chapters of this book continues...

Hoseok and Jimin gave me their last goodbye, while the other members were in a rush to get out of the room. It was fine by me. I was happy enough to see Namjoon start to head out the door. But, he stopped at the frame, and took a few steps back to face me. I laid down on the couch and ignored him.

No, not me, not me, don't talk to me.

He walked away to the other end of the room, but returned a few seconds later. I kept my eyes low to the floor, so I could only see his legs, but then a hand was lowered and on it was a small fleece blanket.

"You, uh, looked tired this morning. Sejin found someone to come watch you since you can't follow him but, erm, you might as well get some rest."

I looked at the blanket for a second, then let my heavy eyes flicker to his face. He didn't look so sincere, but there was no way I was passing up the blanket.

In the quietest voice possible, I muttered a tiny, "Thanks," and took it with hesitant hands. He exhaled and then left. It was silent. I was going to be alone until whoever Sejin got to supervise me arrived.

A clock in the room ticked and there were quiet roars from fans several rooms down. I put the blanket around me and closed my eyes. Thinking about Namjoon's words from earlier wasn't what I wanted to do, but it was the only thing I could do. No matter how hard I tried, the words swirled in a sickening pattern, invading my brain. The lump in my throat had never left and it seemed tears were constantly at the ready. The more I thought about the morning and the miscommunication, the more I wanted to curl up and cry to myself.

Anyone else would have been better. Fans could be mad at me, my friends could be mad at me, I could be mad at myself, but the boys couldn't hate me.

They couldn't be disappointed in me.

I scanned the room, trying to think of any type of distraction, when the rustling of feet came towards the room until they were inside. I looked up to find Taehyung back inside.

"D-did you forget something?" I asked, sitting up on the couch.

"No," he said. "The uh, stage- our stage was pushed back two performances. I have ten minutes 'till. The others stayed backstage, but I wanted to take the chance to come talk with you real quick."

"Talk with me?" I asked, lowering my voice. "Are you mad at me too?"

"W-what? Princess no," he said, shaking his head. He said it as if it were a crazy thing to suggest. He motioned to the couch and I scooted over so he could take a seat. The couch sank as he sat.

"Good, 'cus Namjoon, and Sejin, and Jin all-" my voice cracked and I stopped. Taehyung took one look at my teary eyes and his face fell.

"Oh Sujin!" He put an arm around me and I brought my knees to my chest with the blanket on top as I started crying again. The events of the day seemed to crash on top of me as Taehyung pulled me closer. He let me lean my head on his shoulder and I pulled the blanket to cover my eyes. I didn't want to cry, really, but with Taehyung showing the care he was, there was no way I could hold it in. It felt better.

"Sujin-ie, did you listen to a single thing he said? It was ridiculous. I don't know what got into him."

"I-I don't either. I already felt s-so ba-d," I sobbed. "I was up last night making Jung-Jungkookie's present, a-and his," I tried to explain, "and I'm so sorry Taehyungie, I stayed up way too late, and-"

"Is that why you slept through your alarm?"

"No! No, I turned it off-f." My words were interrupted by sharp inhales as my crying made speaking difficult.

"Ooh," Taehyung hummed. "Why did you do that, mm?"

I took a moment to let myself calm down before I responded, "Taehyung, I thought you guys told me you could pick me up after this schedule if I wanted to sleep in, since the dorm is in between the first and second schedule."

He seemed to stiffen. "We did tell you that, didn't we?"

"Yes, you did! I know I said I would come to the first one, but I thought you wouldn't mind if I didn't go. I didn't expect Namjoon to-"

"Listen to me-"

"But Taehyung, why did he have to get so mad at me-"

"Listen to me, please," he said. His voice box vibrated above where my head was starting to move to his chest, and his breath tickled in my ear. "But calm down." I took a deep breath. "We forgot to explain that the venue changed, didn't we? We're going to be in a real rush to get to the second venue, now. It takes longer to get there and it's the opposite direction from the dorm. There's no way we'd be able to go back. It only added to Namjoon's anxiety and I guess he just burst with all his worrying-"

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked. " I would have been so much more careful to go to bed on time and get up if I knew you'd be crunched on time..."

"I-I'm sorry... I didn't know everyone neglected to tell you."

"Well you did... I..." I sobbed more, and brought the blanket that was balling in my fists to wipe away the hot tears that kept falling. "He hurt me, Taehyung. It hurt. I already felt so, so bad about it, but he wouldn't let me explain, and then I had to hurry to get ready, and now I'm here, and it's just a mess-" I stopped when I heard more rustling from outside the door. I was going to be embarrassed if someone else had heard me. Taehyung noticed too, and then Jungkook's head popped inside. I tried to wipe my tears faster but he noticed.

"Taehyung, five minutes before the stage... what happened?" He looked to me for an answer, but I didn't have any more words. Taehyung spoke up.

"Namjoon hyung."

"Oh." Jungkook's face fell. "I may or may not have heard the whole thing this morning."

"You all did, why didn't you defend me?"

Jungkook came and couched in front of the couch as he pursed his lips. "I-I'm sorry. We were all in a rush this morning. Are you okay?"

"No," I shook my head as a shuddered breath came out. "I feel really bad for making him mad and holding you up."

"Oh sis," Jungkook said, getting up to sit on the corner of the couch. He grabbed my hands from the blankets and held them in his warm, tough ones. His clothes smelled of a new type of laundry detergent, something I assumed the stylists had chosen to wash the clothes with. "I promise you, Namjoon isn't one to stay mad at anyone, especially you. What he said- he didn't mean it."

"It sure sounded like it. You don't know he didn't mean it."

"I do know. Look, he was really, really anxious about this stage. He was already in a bad mood when he woke up, Sujin. He let out his anger on you and it wasn't right. It... it embarasses me because in reality, you're the newcomer. I know you're family and I see you as family, but you're also the one that just... doesn't.. No, hasn't seen all of us in our every mood."

"He's right," Taehyung nodded, I'm so sorry he scared you, or hurt you."

I shrugged. "I mean, even if I didn't care about that, I just-" I wiped a tear that was starting to fall, "He just got so mad. I've never seen him like that, and to know I was the reason... I didn't mean to give him so much anxiety, I didn't."

"We know you didn't, sweetie, we know," assured Taehyung.

"We love you, Sujin," Jungkook said, giving me a hug.

"And we'll make sure Namjoon rights his wrong," Taehyung agreed.

"He said he was disappointed in me. I don't want him to right his wrong. He did it and I'm scared to talk to him. He couldn't even talk to me just a few minutes ago."

"That's because he feels guilty. Let him turn around his attitude once this stage is done and all will be okay."

I nodded.

"Kook, did you say we had five minutes?"

"We're leading on the edge of one," Jungkook said, getting up from the couch. "I'm so sorry that we have to get going."

"It's okay, go ahead. I'll be watching you," I said, motioning to the TV at the end of the room. The first performance was done so the boys had all of the next one to get ready to go up.

"It's a stylist Sejin knows well that's coming to watch you."

"Okay." I sniffed. "I look like trash. I threw on a different top and bottoms but didn't do anything else."

"Well then we'll ask her to fix you up a bit. She can do your makeup."

"No, it's okay-"

"Yes, we'll do it." Taehyung said, getting up. "Don't cry, dongsaeng."

"Cheer up sis," Jungkook added. "Watch your cool older brothers on stage."

I gave a small smile. "I'll be rooting for you."

"Perfect. That's all we need."

With a final smile, they both left.

I wiped a few of my tears. The words Namjoon had said still echoed in my head, but they didn't hurt as much.

The room was quiet once again, until someone caught my attention from the doorway. "I'm- Oh. I know you."

I looked up to see a recognizable face.

"Oh, hi," I said. I panicked, hoping I didn't still look like a total mess. She walked into the room so I could see she was wearing a large black hoodie and dark colored jeans with small holes only at each knee. As I studied the face, I could tell I knew the straight black hair that went a little past her shoulders and was cut into thin bangs that fell into her bright, blue- almost green- eyes. Her lips were almost as pale as her face, but had a beautiful color of pink near the middle and her nose was small. Eyeshadow was dark around her lids and a thin line of eyeliner, winged at the tips, was neatly drawn over small lashes. The lashes only contrasted to the tidy and fairly sized eyebrows. It was Minie, Jiho's sister. For a second, I was confused as to why she was there.

"So you're Bangtan's... Hm. Okay." She nodded to herself.

"Sister?"

"Mm." She nodded again, this time at me. "So... Their Manager knows me-"

"He's my uncle."

"Ah." She put a finger in the air. "That would make sense."

"How does he know you?"

"Oh." She laughed quietly to herself. I noticed as I had the small conversation with her was how collected she seemed to be. I was realizing she must have been a year or two older than me, and it showed in the way she held her head high, but in a quiet sort of way, as to not draw much attention to herself. Her voice was soft, but when she spoke, it was as if she had an opinion that she strongly wanted to be heard. She reminded me of Yoongi. Authoritative, yet secretive. "I work here."

"Here? Or with Bighit Entertainment?"

"Bighit," she said happily. "I'm a stylist, yet... Well I don't really work on the boys all that much. I thought I'd get a chance today but the other stylists said it was too important of an event to let me 'test things out and try to prove myself.' You see, since I'm sixteen, I just got a spot here."

"Oh," I said. "So, what do you do?"

"I specialize in cosmetology, mostly makeup. Yeah... I went to the Beauty Academy here in Seoul after school since I was like, fourteen. Just got accepted here."

"Wow. Well that's good, congrats."

"Yep, guess so." She let out a breath and then motioned to the room. "So, uh, forgot his name there," she shook her head, "the guy who just came out of the room? I think he's one of the band members... your brother?"

"Taehyung? Jungkook?"

"Ye, he said you could use some help?"

I laughed lightly. "He did?"

"I don't know, I could like," she motioned softly to my face. "I don't know, if you want?"

"Oh, right." I threw off my blanket and sat up from the couch. "I mean, if you don't mind?"

"It's my job now. I didn't take lessons at the Beauty Academy for nothing. Go ahead, sit." She pointed to the chairs that had earlier been occupied by the boys in front of the mirrors and makeup tools.

As soon as I sat down in the chair, she asked what look I was going for. I explained how I just needed something natural and to look and feel more awake since the rest of my day was going to be running around with the boys, so she got to work. I could already tell she was much more talented with a brush and sponge than I was when it came to beauty products.

She applied foundation which was cold on the brush as it swept across my forehead. The bright lights from the mirrors were bothering my eyes and already drooping eyelids.

"How do you keep up with those boy's schedules? If none of them go to school, then you're the only one at that disadvantage, and it must be hard."

"Actually, one does, Jungkook, because he's the youngest. But only some days, whenever certain classes are scheduled. It's like a pre-college routine, except it's just so he can pass some of his last needed High School classes. He's smart, but definitely fell behind when he joined the company and band. He's so thankful he's almost done."

"Cool. But it doesn't sound like it's as hard as a full day of school like yours."

"Honestly, last week was the first whole week of school I've had for a long time. I was homeschooled before they took me in."

"And how long ago was that?" She was working with a light burgundy and brown tint around my eyelids as she spoke.

"Five months."

"So you skipped the end of last year of school?"

"I tried to go.. But it didn't work. I was actually supposed to be in grade 8 this year, but I skipped it. I guess I learned a lot in homeschool."

"Ooh I see. So you're 13?"

"Yeah, my birthday is in December."

"Alright," she nodded. "So my question... How do you keep up?"

I thought for a moment. "I don't know. The boys don't expect much from me." As soon as I said that, I realized I was wrong. They expected everything of me, they just weren't things that fought over my time and ability for school. At least, not yet. "I mean they let me focus on school, and when needed, I help them with their job. It's worked out pretty well so far. Though, I used to help them focus on their job a lot. Our lives just kind of revolve around it, you know?"

"I can see that. You become an idol and it's your job. But many don't realize that it's the factor that turns your whole life into a job. Everything you do afterwards is a job." She capped the eyeliner pen she'd been using and stood up straight. "And then you don't have a life."

Hiii. Summer school started today for me, so that's fun. It's not bad tho, it's for aviation. Hehe. I hope you're all doing well and still enjoying the story. You met a major character in the story so that' s cool 0_0 

Stay safe, healthy, and happy!

-Rose