Katya shot up in her bed, breathing heavily, sweat dripping down her back. Her body curled into a ball, hands covering her face as she tried to get the picture of Natasha dusting out of her head, pressing the palms of her hands against her eyes.

It wasn't hard to guess what had triggered the memory. Only the name ''Tony Stark'' and a video of the Avengers Compound was enough. 

A cold hand landed on her back, causing Katya to jump out of her skin. There wasn't supposed to be anyone in her bed tonight.

''Hey. You're safe. It's okay. I'm here.''

She recognized that voice out of thousands. She would never be able to forget it. It was the one she had prayed to hear for five years now. It haunted her until the end of her days. 

Katya whipped her head to the left, desire to see her again burning in her chest. But she was met with... nothing.

Katya shot up in her bed. Drunk on sleep, she whipped her head to the left side of the bed, hand patting the smooth silk covers, but there was nothing, no Natasha, just emptiness. 

She pulled her knees to her chest, lacing her hands in her hair. That dream felt so real, Natasha's voice so real in her head, like she had been inside the room, right next to her, whispering it into her ear.

Katya wished she could rip her heart out and be done with the pain. It needed a way out, the pressure of all that grief pressing on her lungs. But she had tried everything and nothing worked. To be honest, she had grown beyond desperate, and that wasn't good. She did stupid things when she was like that.

Dragging her laptop closer to her, she opened it in her dark room, squinting her eyes against the brightness before turning it down. She Googled the one thing she swore never to Google. ''The Avengers.''

Millions of results popped up within a split second. All of news articles. The Avengers saving this city or that city. But the most recent ones had titles like: 

''Where are the Avengers?''

''How the Avengers lost in Wakanda.''

''The world without the Avengers. How do we continue without Earth's Mightiest Heroes?''

''Where is Katya Petrova after the dusting of Black Widow? Possible locations she has been spotted during her disappearance.''

''Clint Barton, carrying the Avengers on his shoulders.''

Silent tears streamed down Katya's cheeks at the last two, her hands itching to pick up her phone and call the Compound. She knew the number, had never forgotten it. It would be so nice to hear Clint's voice, only for a second. But something stopped her.

She clicked on the Images, a real smile breaking through her tears at all the pictures she found. Press photos from a mission, where they had been snapped while in action in New York or Sokovia. Pictures from official things like the Senate Hearing with Natasha, when she had mouthed off all the weak men who thought they could control her. Her and Nat with king T'Chaka during the UN meeting in Vienna.

But Katya stopped at one photo a passerby had taken, one she had never seen before and hadn't noticed had been taken. How could she have, her laugh was so wide and her joyful eyes so focused on the smiling redhead in front of her that she had no attention to anything else. 

Katya could categorize the years based on Natasha's hair. Here, her curly red hair reached her chin, so this had to be either around 2012 or 2015. This day stood engraved into her brain, one of the rare dates they ever went on together and it was a really random one too, exactly what Natasha liked. 

Both of them had never seen a baseball game in their life, but Steve had the games on the TV sometimes and Natasha had stared at it with interest one day. The next day, she had showed up at Katya's door with two tickets to the next Yankee's home game and a bunch of merch.

Katya could only laugh at the smirk on her face, knowing exactly where this was going. She had dutifully put the baseball shirt on and the cap on her head and followed her girlfriend through the streets, joining the usual crowd. Natasha was so excited, her green eyes shining at the whole experience. And because they knew nothing about the game itself, they had placed random bets during the game, completely irrelevant ones.

But they had never laughed so much in public than right there in the nosebleeds, none of the people around them noticing they were blessed with the company of two Avengers. Katya had lost a hundred dollars to Natasha that day, but the smile on the redhead's face was priceless.

People have told Katya a lot over the years how obvious it was that Natasha loved her with whole her heart, but it wasn't until she stumbled across that picture more than a decade later that she finally saw what she meant. 

The Katya on the picture was too busy laughing to notice how her girlfriend stared at her, but the force of her green eyes spat off the screen. So much adoration and love swirled in them, it warmed Katya's heart from the inside out. And even though this wasn't technically her laptop, she saved the picture, the only one she had ever valued.

It didn't make the morning more bearable, but she did feel a little better for some reason, like it had brought her some happiness and not sadness. Enough to make her get out of bed and open the curtains, letting light into the apartment for the first time in days. She even opened the window, looking at the streets down below. Tokyo always smelled disgusting, but the chatter made her feel alive.

She made herself some light breakfast even though it was after noon, and ate it at the table, not in bed. There was nothing to do today than wait until it turned dark and she could complete her mission. Movies were a big no no, always some form of romance in them, the same with books and other forms of entertainment. So what Katya did do was read the news about her mission from yesterday, her lips curling into a smile when she read it.

Of course it didn't mention the money came from the gang. They also had no idea who she was. ''A young woman with blue hair'' could be anyone with a wig. The club had been too dark for the club owner and the cameras so see her correctly. 

Katya spent the day inside, mostly sleeping and scrolling through useless websites, even doing some online shopping. After dinner, she went over the plan one last time, checked her weapons, and when it got late and dark enough, suited up and pulled the hood over her head, ready to kill some criminals.

The rain came pouring down, ruining whatever good mood she had. Her coat was water resistant, but that didn't mean it didn't suck. It blew into her face but did blend her into the darkness better.

The plan was fairly simple: walk into their base of operations, guns blazing. Go up the stairs on the right side of the entrance, take a right at the top and find the boss: Akihiko. He was good with a sword, but would never be as good as Katya in a fight.

The first part of her plan succeeded easily. She gunned down a lot of men on the ground floor before she ran up the stairs, shooting anyone who came after her or towards her. The fight covered multiple buildings and included her throwing men through windows and into walls. This was when she felt most powerful, the power a drug to her.

Katya kicked in the office door, Akihiko already waiting with his sword drawn. She cocked her head, keeping her fingers on the trigger of both guns. ''Kinō okane o ushinatta?'' (Lost some money yesterday?) she asked smugly.

His eyes widened. ''Sore wa kimidatta,'' (It was you) he realized. The reveal only made him madder.

Katya raised her guns but he saw it coming, turning in his spot and jumping through the window onto the roof below and from thereon on the ground. She jumped after him, holstering her guns before jumping down, landing perfectly with her feet in the puddles. The neon signs reflected in them, lighting up the street in a colorful way. 

Tokyo's streets were small, one of its charming properties, and this one wasn't much different. It didn't leave much room to fight, but Katya had more space than she needed. 

''Temē naze konna koto wo suru? Oretachi temē ni nani mo shitenē daro.'' (Why are you doing this? We never did anything to you) Akihiko asked as he got ready, holding his sword in front of his body.

''Chikyū no hanbun sanosu ni yarareta. Omae wa naze buji nano.'' (You survived. Half of the planet didn't. They got Thanos, you get me.)

Katya tested the waters, swatting at him with her staff a couple times as he retaliated. She didn't think he realized how serious her threat was. Maybe he thought less of her than she was. He should know better.

''Omae mo jūbun korshita daro,'' (You're done hurting people) Katya said calmly, her sharp eyes taking in his every move. The rain fell on her black hood, limiting her vision. But she didn't need to see around her to know it was just her and him now. 

Akihiko started laughing, turning in his spot as he gestured with his arms wide to the damage Katya had done. The dead bodies, the broken buildings. It didn't do anything to her. ''Orera ga dato? Ki demo kurutta ka!'' (We hurt people? You're crazy!)

She narrowed her eyes, setting her jaw as she readied her staff again for a fight. ''You know, I really don't like that word.''

Both of them started fighting, but it became awfully clear Katya was much better at it. She had to admit that the man wasn't half bad, but he clearly let his minions take care of fights like these. She managed to evade every attack with ease, while she got in a couple good hits with her staff. A sword like his would have been better for this fight, but Katya didn't like swords. Knives however...

The next time she came close enough, she plucked one from her belt and slid the man's throat. Just deep enough to make him bleed but not enough to have him die immediately. Because if she knew anything about men like these, they would always bail at the end.

Akihiko dropped his sword. His eyes widened and hands reached to put pressure on his throat to try and stop the bleeding. He fell to his knees like a coward, staring up at the blonde assassin. ''Mate! Tasukete kure! Omae ni nan demo yaru! Nani ga hosī?'' (Wait! Help me! I'll give you anything! What do you want?)

She laughed a humorless laugh. ''Oh, now he surrenders. What I want... You can't give me.'' She looked him dead in the eyes as she plunged the knife into his chest, the light disappearing from his soul as he fell into the water.

Of course she had felt the presence behind her. Of course she knew who it belonged to. She just really wished it would disappear. 

''I thought all the ignored phone calls, new numbers and moving to the other side of the world made it clear that I want to be left alone,'' Katya spoke without turning around. She wiped the bloody knife on Akihiko's jacket, the adrenaline-driven high wearing off quickly now that she got interrupted.

''You shouldn't be here. You should be back home with me.''

Waves of nostalgia washed over Katya, his voice causing her to tear up, her throat tightening. She hadn't realized how much she missed him. ''I don't have a home anymore. And if you don't mind, I have a job to do.''

''Is that what you're calling this? Killing all these people isn't gonna bring her back.'' 

Katya slowly turned, trailing her eyes up to meet the man's blue ones. The same color, different shade. She said she didn't have a home anymore, but those were very close to it.

Clint stepped closer, slowly, the black umbrella above his head following his every move. ''We found something. A chance, maybe...'' he started carefully, his sad eyes scanning the broken woman in front of him who had just murdered at least twenty people with ease.

Katya's expression changed from sad to beyond broken, tears gathering in her eyes. ''Don't.''

''Don't what?''

''Don't give me hope,'' she whispered, unable to speak louder. Because that small flame of hope she had always had in the pit of her stomach, that finally extinguished five years ago. Hope could be so much more dangerous than fear.

Clint reached for her gloved hand. ''I'm sorry I couldn't give it to you sooner.''

Katya looked at his hand and abruptly changed her mind, snapping out of whatever mindset he talked her into, her hand pulling out of his. ''I don't want to hear it. She's gone, no getting her back.'' She turned on her heels, leaving the dead bodies behind, knowing Clint would follow her.

His quiet footsteps trailed after her, back to her apartment. ''That's what I thought, but Tony found a way to travel through time. It works, we can go back, get the Stones and bring everyone back.''

Katya snapped around, throwing the hood from her head so he could see how mad she was. ''Don't you get it? Losing her destroyed me, Clint!'' she screamed, her hair drenched within seconds. ''There is nothing without her. Nothing. I can't risk hoping, because the fall will be so much further if it fails.'' She shook her head, continuing her path. ''I won't survive that again.''

Clint was finally done. He caught up with her, gently grabbed her bicep and turned her around. ''We have a real chance here, Katya. It's going to work, I have seen it.'' He had trouble keeping from yelling some sense into her. ''We're doing it with or without you. I just thought you would want to be there when we try everything to get them back. Maybe I was wrong,'' he finished, knowing she wouldn't let that slip. 

It worked. And even though Katya knew she was being manipulated, she also knew he was right. They would do this with or without her, and if it did succeed, she'd want to be there. ''No. You're not wrong,'' she growled, hating how satisfaction flickered on his face. ''Let me get my stuff.''

They walked the rest of the way in silence, Katya pulling her hood back up so she didn't have to see Clint and so he couldn't see her face.

It gave her time to think too, and there was a lot to think about. Time travel? Where the hell did they come up with that? And how did Tony get mixed up in all of it? Last Katya heard, he had retired, living isolated with Pepper. The plan didn't sound too crazy, but why now, why not earlier? What had changed? 

She let all of it go, not so much caring about the how of it all. If they just told her where to go and what to do, that would be enough. Katya kept the hope at bay though, protecting herself in case it didn't work. No, she couldn't allow that fire to burn again. 

''Nice job by the way yesterday,'' Clint said when he and Katya walked up the stairs of her apartment building. She shot him a confused look, not knowing they were following her movements. ''Oh please, that had your name written all over it if you know what to look for. Risky though, limited exits, based on too many variables.''

''Didn't know I was here for a spy lesson,'' she spoke annoyed, fishing the key from her pocket and stuffing it into the lock. She let Clint go first, which was a big mistake. Her laptop was still on, the screen showing the picture she had found this afternoon. 

Katya rushed to close it, but of course Clint had seen it, how couldn't he? She acted like nothing was wrong, getting her bags from the closet and stuffing her clothes into it. But Clint couldn't keep his mouth shut and commented on it.

''I remember that.'' He smiled, recalling the memory. ''She was so happy that day. The only one who could make her smile like that was you.''

''I don't want to talk about it,'' Katya growled, ignoring the stab in her chest. When the first bag was full, she threw it in his direction, Clint catching it with ease. She cleaned out the apartment thoroughly, leaving no traces of herself behind. Shoes, toiletries, everything. 

Now, Clint lead the way. He had parked the Quinjet on top of a building somewhere, the cloaking hiding it from any nosy civilians. Katya admitted to herself he didn't look good either. The light in his eyes was gone, the humor in his voice gone. Dark circles under his eyes like her, both living on the minimum amount of sleep they needed to stay alive.

Honestly, Katya had no idea what he had done the past five years. Because she had closed herself off from the Avengers completely, wanting nothing to do with them. She didn't keep up with their adventures. Someone had kept an eye on things from the Compound though, and she dared to put her money on Clint.

Katya didn't take a seat next to him in the cockpit. Instead, she sat down in the back and shrugged off her coat, leaving her in the black leather pants and tight turtleneck in the same color, her boots reaching her knees. Putting headphones on her ears, she blocked the world out and disappeared into her own.

Could she really get Natasha back? If anyone else had come to pick her up, she wouldn't have gone with. But she believed Clint, believed his belief. And Tony, if he said he figured something out, he had. His brilliance could tackle everything, even time travel. No, Katya didn't question if it worked, but still, it was such a long shot.

Getting the Stones, so much could go wrong. She knew from Wakanda, from Natasha's own explanation, they needed six Stones to snap. But the Avengers didn't give up.