Katya's sleep sucked, like always. Every night, the same nightmares would come back. Each time with different images, but the same oppressive feeling. Like she was suffocating. She had gotten used to them by now, learning to keep quiet and not move around too much. But she still sweat a lot and her heart raced in her chest.

So there was nothing else to do than take another quick shower in the morning, the water calming her down. The sun had started to rise when a soft knock on her door broke her out of her head. It was meant more as a warning than a question, because she couldn't open the door herself, but Katya answered with a simple yes.

The thick lock sprung free and red hair came into view first, followed by Natasha's whole body. A smile wanted to form on her face, but something stopped when she recognized the change in the redhead's demeanor. Katya knew all too well what this meant. It was her armor, protection, a big step backwards from the familiar feeling from yesterday. 

Her arms were crossed over her chest and eyes didn't even look at her. ''Follow me.'' Her voice was demanding and curt, no room for discussion or joking. Katya knew that her mood wasn't going to get better if she pushed her. Natasha struggled with herself, protecting herself, and if someone wanted to break through her walls, they would have to be careful.

She said nothing about the fact that Katya's hair was wet, a clear sign she had showered twice within ten hours, but Natasha did hold in her strides, knowing the brunette's leg hurt and she couldn't walk as fast.

The same interrogation room waited for her, but this time, there were no handcuffs. The feeling of being watched told Katya that someone stood behind the mirror again, watching her every move. She wouldn't be surprised if it was the Director again. She was quite a dangerous person if she had the wrong intentions by coming here. 

Natasha left for a second, without any explanation, before coming back with the best present ever; a steaming hot cup of coffee. It warmed up Katya's whole body when her hands wrapped around the paper cup. ''Thanks.'' Katya gave her a little smile, but Natasha didn't react, just folded her hands together and stared intently with those deep green eyes.

Katya ripped her eyes away from hers after a short silence, not wanting to get distracted, and stared at the brown liquid in her hands. ''What do you want to know?''

''Secretary of Defense wasn't the only HYDRA in high places, was he?'' It was less of a question and more of an observation. 

Katya shook her head before looking up. ''No.''

Natasha leaned forward in her seat a little bit, trying to intimidate the woman in front of her, ignoring how her blue eyes affected her. ''How many do you know off?'' Part of her hated how coldly she treated Katya, but this was necessary for an objective evaluation. 

Katya shrugged. ''Not much. I know where they are, just not how many and what their names are.'' 

Natasha narrowed her eyes, trying to see if she was lying. Katya was a good liar, but they had learned the same techniques to hide the truth so she would be able to see through her. Nothing told her she was lying now. No change in voice, no looking away or staring to intently, no muscles twitching or heartbeat speeding up. 

''I was just an Agent,'' Katya continued. ''I had no power whatsoever. Everything I know, I know because I overheard things, doing the only job I was trained to do; spying on people.''

Natasha's face didn't change throughout her whole explanation. ''Tell me the things you do know.''

Katya sighed quietly. She knew many things, little things. No big, important pieces of information. But she was ready to give everything she knew, ready to take down the organization that had treated her like an animal. ''Do you mind if I write it down? It's just a lot faster than explaining everything.'' But it would also be much easier to lie, Natasha knew that. This was a test to see if she trusted her enough. 

Green eyes studied her carefully, trying to see if this was a way to get away from the questions. Apparently, she found what she was looking for, because with one fluid movement, she stood up. ''One second.'' She came back a little later with some paper and a pen. ''Explain what you're writing down. In English.''

''Sure.'' 

So Katya gave her everything she knew. Estimated number of people in every organization and government, HYDRA bases she had heard of and ones she had been, complete with a detailed map of the facility, number of guards around every building, their patterns and weapons, any plans she knew HYDRA had to sow fear. 

She filled every paper from top to bottom on both sides after more than five hours in there. Her hand hurt from writing, but she never showed it.

When she wrote the last word on the last blank space on the last paper, she dropped the pen and leaned back in her chair. Natasha had watched her write and draw carefully, seeing how her eyes lit up with new information every time it came floating to the surface. Her body was stiff from sitting in the same position for so long, but she was happy with the results from this session. 

Without saying anything, she picked up the papers and the pen and walked out, ready to verify all the information she had received. Katya's stomach filled with a little disappointment when the redhead walked out without any form of a goodbye or thank you.

Around an hour later, an unknown agent who was clearly new, picked up Katya from the room and brought her back to her cell. The man was nervous and intimidated by her, but did his best not to show it. 

When the cell door closed behind her, Katya lay down on the floor, staring at the ceiling for a long time before she had enough of laying still and wanted to move her body. 

Keeping your body in top condition was important in her line of work, if that's what you could call it. You never knew if you had to run for miles, climb a high building or swim across a river. To be fit was to be prepared for anything unexpectantly thrown at her. 

Katya tried not to strain her leg too much. They had given her a cream that worked wonders on healing the gunshot wound, but putting too much weight on it would slow it down again.

Usually, she would also practice her shooting and throwing, but since they had robbed her of her knives, that wasn't an option. Her fingers twitched every now and then, missing the movement of spinning a small knife. 

When she was tired and satisfied with her little work-out, she lay on her bed counting the tiles on the ceiling. Then the stones in the wall. Then the number of seconds between every time the shower dripped. 

Being locked up with nothing to do was her worst nightmare. Being alone with just her thoughts wasn't good. Her imagination running wild and hundreds of bad thoughts running through her mind. She was her own worst torturer.

Finally being safe and given a second chance made her look back on everything she had done wrong in her life. Every kill she was forced to make. All the children she had made orphans. The people she had tortured for information. 

But Katya was most scared of the monster that came out sometimes, the part she was forced to awaken and tried so hard to keep in control. Usually, it wasn't a problem, but when someone really pissed her off, she would snap and it wouldn't end nicely. 

It was what she needed to get rid of to gain everyone's trust here in SHIELD. That was going to be a long road. She knew how to make people believe they trusted her. But really trying for long term to have somebody count on her, was going to be hard.

Natasha didn't return for the rest of the day. Only two times did another Agent appear to bring her some food and water, but that was it. It was only eight PM, according to the clock on her wall, but since it didn't look like anything else was going to happen today, Katya decided to go to sleep. The lights in the cellblock went out at ten every night, but Katya didn't need the dark to fall asleep.

The days repeated themselves in this manner for a week. Natasha would show up at dawn, say nothing while taking her to the same interrogation room, sit patiently, watching her write and draw for hours and then leave without another word. 

Every time, a different Agent would come to pick her up and bring her back to her cell, where she would work out as best as she could with her leg, count the tiles and stones again and fall asleep at eight. Her body had never been this rested and energized, but her mind got worse and worse.

That displayed in the form of little signs of restlessness, such as her fingers twitching almost uncontrollably. Natasha noticed, but didn't say anything until day seven, when they were in the room again. ''What's with your fingers?''

Katya couldn't believe her ears. Natasha had spoken directly to her for the first time in a week. ''So she does speak.'' Wrong thing to say, because the woman in front of her didn't react, so Katya focused on her moving fingers. ''They miss my knives. I twirl them around in my hand.''

No reaction came, but she knew Natasha had heard her. The woman always took in as much information about people as possible and never forgot anything.

So when her cell door opened again a couple hours after another new Agent had escorted her back, she knew Natasha hadn't forgotten this detail too. 

Katya lay on the floor again, staring up at the ceiling, but she turned around on her stomach to see the redhead stand in the door. ''Come on.'' It sounded a little nicer, just the tiniest bit, but it gave her new hope. 

Her leg had gotten a lot better in the last week than she could ever hope for. Whatever was in that cream healed her at least five times as fast as usual. So she could keep up with Natasha quite good, something she, of course, also noticed. 

''Training level'' Natasha told the elevator when they got in. 

Katya raised an eyebrow at her. ''You know I shouldn't fight with this leg.''

Her eyes went to Katya's restless fingers. ''You're not gonna fight.'' That's when Katya understood what they were going to do. Natasha was letting her throw some knives.

It was something really stupid to get excited over, but Katya couldn't stop the smile forming on her face. 

The shooting range was very professional, something she had expected from a big organization like SHIELD. There were lots of targets to choose from. Moving ones, papers with circles, but also some dummies which were especially good for knives. They would stick and not go straight through. 

Natasha opened a cabin on the side of the room and a large display with all sorts of knives came sliding out. It was a candy store, every single one perfectly balanced. Katya's eyes immediately fell on some small, thin ones. Perfect for throwing. 

Natasha watched in amusement as Katya's eyes widened in excitement at all the knives. But before she could pick them up, her stern voice stopped her. ''Don't try anything stupid.''

''Yes, ma'am.''

''I'm serious.'' The tone of her voice made Katya look at her. It held a little fear, worry, like Natasha was afraid she was going to throw away her second chance and she didn't want her to. ''The information you gave us all checked out, so Fury is giving you a little more space to breathe. But screw up, and you will still be kicked out.''

Her tone made Katya's voice turn serious too. ''I know, don't worry,'' she reassured her. 

Natasha nodded once and stepped back so the brunette could finally pick up the knives. The weight was exactly right and her fingers celebrated when they could twirl one around again. Green eyes next to her watched every move carefully, fascinated by the speed her fingers moved.

Katya asked for any sign of permission with her eyes, waiting for Natasha go give her the go-ahead. It came in the form of a little nod towards the targets. A smirk was the answer she gave back, walking to the other side of the room. 

Twisting her right shoulder a couple of times to warm up the muscles, she stood way further back than the yellow line on the ground, marking the start of the track. If she got this chance, she was going to impress Natasha.

One knife sat ready in her right hand, the left one holding the other four. Katya took a deep breath and focused on the hearts of the targets. She threw the knife so quickly that it was almost hard to see she even moved in the first place. 

It spun in the air and hit the target right in the center, where she wanted it to go. This gave her the confidence to throw the other four swiftly after each other. 

It felt good to do this again, to focus on anything but her mind. When Katya was throwing or fighting or shooting, it was just her body and movements. It calmed her down immensely.

Natasha had to admit to herself that she was impressed, although she looked more at Katya than the knives and where they landed. Not that she was a worse thrower, but very little people could throw so straight and precise and Katya was one of them. 

''Nice,'' she said as Katya walked forward to pull her knives out of the dummies.

''Thanks,'' she called back, her voice echoing through the empty room. Natasha had sent everyone out before she went to pick up Katya, not wanting to draw any unwanted attention or create problems. 

When Katya reached Natasha, she offered her the knives, the handles pointed towards her. ''Now it's your turn.'' 

Natasha looked away from the knives, to the rest of the room. ''No.''

''Please?'' Katya used her tricks to try and convince her. ''I wanna see you do it.'' She even pouted very childish when Natasha looked at her again. Katya half expected her to scowl and refuse again, but something changed. It might have been her pleading, but Natasha caved in.

She rolled her eyes and snatched the knives out of Katya hands. ''Fine.''

Katya smiled in victory behind her back. Now she was the one standing back and watching the other throw. Natalia's movements were more fluent and not as choppy as her own. Both techniques worked and got the same result, Natasha's knives hitting dead center every time too, but she was much nicer to look at. 

This was so familiar, throwing knives together, training together, that both of them fell back into old habits. Katya could have stared at her for hours.

''You still got it.'' She said when Natasha went to retrieve her knives. 

A little scoff came in return. ''I remember you being the one losing the little competitions we held.'' That was true. Natasha was better with the knives, Katya better with the gun. At least back then, because Katya didn't miss a single target today.

Natasha surprised her again and again with how much she remembered from their horrible youth. And little things too. Useless things like these, who was better in throwing knives. ''And I remember you being a worse shot.'' Katya teased right back, while also trying to get the other Russian to give in to a little shooting.

But she saw right through her, smiling sarcastically. ''Nice try, but you haven't earned gun privileges yet.''

Katya shrugged. ''It was worth a shot.'' Mind the pun.

They threw for a while, taking turns throwing combined with some teasing every now and then. They even ended up doing a little competition, which Katya lost, until Clint walked in, looking for his friend.

He eyed Katya up and down, not subtle at all, and then completely ignored her as he talked to Natasha. He didn't trust her, which wasn't a surprise. ''Fury's asking for you in his office.''

''You know what it's about?'' Natasha asked as she cleaned the knives and put them away where they belonged, the fun over for now. If Fury asked for her personally, it must be something important. Hopefully it had nothing to do with Katya. Hopefully he hadn't changed his mind.

Clint shrugged. ''No idea.'' He did know, but his eyes flashing to Katya revealed that he couldn't say anything in front of her. She followed the whole conversation with interest, trying to figure out what their dynamic was.

Natasha didn't miss this and nodded. ''Alright, tell him I'll be right up. Just have to put this one back in her cage.'' Her thumb jabbing at the woman next to her who rolled her eyes.

But Clint had other plans. ''I got it,'' he offered. Great, this was going to be great. 

Natasha saw the way he stared Katya down, clearly not happy with her being here, but she still nodded. ''Don't kill her, please,'' her voice called out before she was fully out the door.

Clint was too late to answer her, but that didn't stop him from mumbling to himself. ''Don't worry, already missed my shot at that.''

~~~~~~~~

Trying not to force this but also not let it take too long. It's really tricky to write Natasha because while I think she is actually very comfortable and sweet while in love, a lot of books have her stay at arms length from her partner. So I am trying to find a middle way here.

Thank you for reading!

(2906 words)