I woke up screaming Morgan's name. Erik had me in a tight grip. Apparently, I had been thrashing in my sleep pretty good.

"Babe, babe, chill. It's okay. It's me. You're safe. I'm here."

My screaming subsided and was replaced with tears. I was sobbing again.

"I had the worst dream. We were at the lake, our favorite spot, she was so real. We were talking like normal, everything was fine. And then she was just in a pool of blood, Erik, her fucking head was in the water just bobbing there, staring at me and I couldn't save her. There was nothing I could do to help her."

He held me tight in his arms and just let me cry without saying anything for a while. I'm not sure how much time passed, but I glanced over at the clock, it was noon. I sat up.

"I need to get the hell out of here."

"What do you mean you need to get the hell out of here?" he was pissed, "there are cops roaming all over the goddamned city looking for you and you just want to bounce out?"

"I just need to clear my head and figure out what is happening right now, okay? I'll wear one of your hoodies and I'll steer clear of the main streets. It'll be fine. If I do get picked up, maybe I deserve it."

"Where are you going? What's your plan? You're just heading out to aimless roam around the city?"

"Yeah. Pretty much. You're not going to talk me about of it, you're not going to hold me against my will. I'm going. I'll be back when I want. And you are going to be fine with it."

He got up and threw his pants on, tossing me mine in the process.

"Avoid Central and the train station, Jenn. They're swarming the area, dude. It's insane. Cops everywhere, the whole spot is still shut down totally so they can... clean up."

I pulled on my jeans and grabbed my favorite hoodie of his. Throwing my hair back into a messy bun, I kissed him quickly on the lips, told him I loved him and started heading out the door.

"Jenn, I'm serious. Be careful, okay? Please?"

I gave him a thumbs up and walked out, closing the door behind me.

Once outside, the autumn air hit my raw lungs with a vengeance. After my last few hours of sobbing and hyperventilating, I was not quite ready for how the chilly onset of the ever-looming winter was going to hit me. I had left my phone behind but swung into the nearest convenience store where I knew they had cheap pay-per-use phones and cards. Picking one up and paying in cash I walked outside and called my mom.

The phone rang and rang, she didn't pick up. I left a quick message, something along the lines of "I'm okay. I'm safe. I didn't do it. Please believe me. I'll be in touch," and threw the phone into my bag. I didn't really plan on calling her again. I knew she would have already known the truth, but I wanted her to hear my voice proclaiming my innocence, not some random cops asking where her "guilty" daughter was.

I didn't know where to go or what to do. Should I try to find Liam to find out what happened? Should I go to the cop shop and try and prove that I wouldn't kill the person I loved the most on this planet? Should I just end it all now, knowing full well that I couldn't live without Morgan anyway, so what was the point?

I just kept walking. Endless thoughts both good and bad and full of pain were streaming through my head. I was in pain, mentally and physically. The cold air was pulsating through me, making my lungs feel as if they would shatter like glass at any given moment. Tears started streaming down my face and I stopped walking to duck into the nearest alley and lean up against the grey brick wall. Remembering my cross country days, I raised my arms and laced my fingers together behind my head so that I could open my lungs and slow my breathing. I was on the verge of having another panic attack. This time I wasn't alone. I was in the middle of the city, and people were walking by me. I had already drawn one lady's attention, I smiled at her, she looked confused but not worried and continued walking down the sidewalk. I had to get the hell out of there.

I knew this city like the back of my hand. Morgan and I had grown up just on the outskirts, in a little town but once we got our driver's licenses, we drove into the city pretty much daily to hit the mall, get a bite to eat, or just drive around and people watch. Right now, I couldn't remember where I was. I was totally lost. Terrified. And on the verge of having a complete melt-down. I left the alley, trying to talk myself off the ledge of the attack to regain some sort of normalcy in my breath, as I briskly turned the corner on the main street and ducked into the nearest building where I knew I could go unnoticed. Maybe I could use their bathroom to just splash some water on my face and get my crap back together.

When I entered the building I was met with the overwhelming smell of buttered popcorn and stench of nachos with plastic cheese. I looked around in a panic and was stopped by a man in a red coat, "miss, can I help you?"

"I... um..." words failed me, "I need to use the bathroom."

"Well, then, you will need a ticket. The restrooms are for customers only, miss. Tickets can be purchased at the front counter. Please, follow me."

I turned and followed him back outside to the main ticket counter.

"What movie would you like to see?" the young ticket counter worker asked.

"I don't know. Surprise me."

She looked back at me slightly offended, but printed off my ticket and handed it to me. I paid her the $8.50 and walked back inside making a beeline for the bathroom. I glanced down around me. And then at my ticket. I was in the same movie theater as I was yesterday. With Morgan. The ticket was to the movie she and I were supposed to have gone to.

I crumbled up the ticket and let it fall to the ground. There was not a chance in hell that I could have brought myself to walk into that movie. I felt the girl at the ticket counter still staring at me as I turned my back and started walking back the direction that I had come from.