Varna was standing with soft drink on her hand.Looking outside from balcony.She felt tap on her shoulder.Neeta was Harishs daughter in law.Saving grace for her in this evening.House party had few close people.Harishs friends and their family.Vivaan knew them.But she could see unknown faces.For second noone made her uncomfortable.Neeta smiled at her.As they moved inside room.Pranush was on bed.Trying his best.Tear colorful cartoon book.That was given to him.He got company too.Harishs son Ravi and Neeta had daughter of.Same age as Pranush.Baby looked at Pranush.With big eyes.Gave loud chuckle.Made ladies laugh.

N-"telling you Varna.My daughter has fallen.For this chubs looks.Already."

V-"She is so pretty.Gone after you."

N-"You feel so?Ravi keeps on fighting with me.You know fathers are always.Fond of daughters.When I was expecting.He used to argue with me.Every day that it will be girl.See he won."

V-"And you must have.Expected boy."

N-"Exactly.See you know psychology.You see how Vivaan anna does same.Im sure he does.Now that you already have boy."

Varnas discomfort started showing on face.Neeta excused herself from room.Leaving her in mess of thoughts.From their talks.Seemed noone knows.About circumstances they were married.How would they.When it has been private matter.Vivaan introduced her to everyone.Like normal couple.She was wondering.If anything can ever be normal.Between them like couple.When she heard cries of both babies.

Vivaan was having good time.Meeting some old friends.Few relatives after long time.He realized lately how.He has been distant from these things.Post Ramyas demise.He gave upon everything.Everyone that was coming on his way.He was busy chatting.When Ravi offered him drink.All were having drink.Except him.He politely refused twice.Ravi smiled at him.While duo started waking.

R-"You have become perfect.Family man.Come on drink wont harm.Where is that Vivaan.Who used to party.Like anything.Back those days.Miss them man."

V-"That Vivaan is same.Except few good changes."

R-"One drink wont get you high.Come on.I see.Scared from wife?Neeta keeps on.Getting mad at me.But little bit of freedom.We deserve."

Vivaan thought about his wife.Then laughed.At equation they shared.He was wondering.If she was comfortable around.

V-"Its not about her Ravi.After becoming husband and father.Its us who forget.That if our girl.Wants us to do something.Its for our good.We have responsibilities.As  husband and father.We should keep that on mind too.I wouldnt mind drink.But have to drive back home."

R-"Wise words.Respect man.Come lets have dinner."

Here it was getting difficult for Varna.She took Pranush in her arms.Trying to pacify him.He has torn book.Which made baby girl scared.Both started crying.At same time.She didnt knew how to handle.Them together.Neeta wasnt around too.Vivaan and others could hear.Babies crying from outside.

V-"Pranu must be crying.Let me see."

R-"Dont worry.Neeta is there.Your wife will handle.Sit."

Vivaan knew if Varna was there.he didnt have to worry about.Anything at all.Something gave him hint.He should go and see.Pranush becomes stubborn at times.He was about to go.When one of his relative aunty stopped him.She was serving him food.

"Why do you worry so much.As mother your wife should.Learn how to handle kids.Its womans thing.She should know."

Vivaan got up.Without listening to her.He stopped and turned back.finding her frowning.He smiled and told her.

V-"If shes mother.Im father too.Hes my son.So I have responsibility towards him.And Im sure my wife knows.Best than me.How to handle him."

Varna was standing at door.With Pranush calm now.Playing with chain on her neck.Neeta came at right time.Pacifying her baby.Both managed to calm their babies.It wasnt new for her to handle Pranush.Seeing new place.Happens to babies.So they came out.Varnas eyes were at Vivaan.She heard every word.He spoke now.He smiled at his baby.Taking him from her.He called her to join for dinner.They were getting late.But for rest of evening.Varna couldnt let go.His voice and him from her thoughts.She witnessed what just happened.

Vivaan was whistling.Driving through almost empty roads.Way back to their home.At the lowest speed.Varna could see that.Pranush was awake.In good mood.Making sounds and acting jumpy.He had completed his sleeping schedule.When they were having dinner.So sir was active now.Varnas chain and small dot.On forehead became.Interesting things for him.He was trying to touch her forehead.Play with dot everytime.Making cute sounds.Vivaan laughed seeing that.Varna was being very patient with him.With all love.She kissed his chubby hands.

Vivaan remembered how Harish.Was praising Varna.After seeing her with Pranush.Including others too.Who appreciated Vikrams daughter in law.Varna noticed Vivaans smile.Felt weird.It was when he gave fake cough.Thinking of something.

V-"I was thinking.We can go for.Coffee now.Not that late."

Var-"Coffee now?Why.I mean.Atthai must be awake.Waiting for us."

V-"I informed her.We have keys.So she wont."

Var-"But I cant have coffee.Wont get sleep then."

She brushed Pranushs soft curls.Relieved with excuse.She has given.Attending party with him.Was something she managed whole evening.Again somewhere else.She cant think of.

V-"Ok not coffee.Then ice cream.What say Pranu."

He cooed babys cheeks.At which little one gave grin.Varna became more alert.

Var-"As if he understands.No ice cream.I have cold."

V-"No ice cream.No coffee.Then we can have tea."

Var-"Tea coffee same."

V-"Dessert.Pastry brownie.I know this place.Its damn good."

Var-"I dont like desserts."

V-"Who knows.Better than me."

Var-"What?"

V-"Nothing.Then lets go for.Water."

Var-"I have that.Bottle at back seat."

Vivaan shook his head.As she take out Pranushs baby bottle.Making him have some water.She could feel.His disappointment.But she cant help at this.

Var-"Im sorry.Im not feeling well.Can we go some.Other time."

She herself didnt knew.Why she said like that.Vivaan smiled.As they reached home.Pranush fell asleep again.She carefully placed his head.On her shoulder.While Vivaan got his bag.From seat.Varna stopped hearing him.They entered door.

V-"You could have said truth.Dont want to go anywhere.With me.Im ready to accept all your truths Varna.Because they are better than.Lies you say.To convince yourself."

He left saying that to her.She shut her eyes.Her heart wasnt agreeing with.Whatever she was doing.Saying but where will this head to.She was thinking seriously now.She went to room.With sleeping Pranush on arms.

Looking around at his garden.Vivaan felt fresh air.Giving him some content.He wasnt at peace from inside.Everything was going good in life.Except something amiss.Even he knew what it was.But he was in denial.Some way or other.She will avoid him.He couldnt fully assess gap between them.Unless he would get to know real Varna.For that he has to close to her.She would never allow.That was problem.He was in deep thoughts.Scratching his neck.

N-"Thinking never helps.Have to execute plans.In full form."

Vivaan turned to find.Nandini watering plants.It was her day off too.He smiled at her.While she widened her eyes.He joined her on watering plants.

V-"Dont know.What you are talking about."

N-"But I know.Why are you worried.I can see.Its same with her too.Its just situations.You both are two different personalities.But so alike.I have figured out."

V-"I see.Did she let you.Invade her.Or you got Varna Shettys wrath too."

N-"Anna thats not fair.Shes not what we presumed.In fact I got to know her.More and shes like us.Keeping everything to herself.Even if in need of something.She doest express."

V-"Thats what problem is Nandu.How can you help her.Be with her when she doesnt want to.I feel clueless.She fails my every attempt."

N-"What if she also wants.But she is scared.For circumstances you have been.She has been through."

V-"What should I do.Dont want to give up so easily."

N-"Maybe little push will work.From your side?"

V-"She will break my bones.This house and I have.To spend rest of life.Looking for her.I cant force her."

N-"Not that kind of force.Let me tell you.Why dont you do something.Which will make her open up.About herself.Both can freely talk.Break ice."

V-"What was I trying.All this while?You sound like Rey now."

N-"Why dont you both go on date?Like friendly date."

Varna was resting on bed.She had her head on pillow.Her long traces of hair.Spread and she suddenly felt tug on them.She smiled at little chub.Who have been fond of her hair.He touched them.Smiled happily.If won prize.She couldnt stop herself.From giving kiss to him.Making him sit on her tummy.As he continued with his.Newly learnt antics.She dint knew.When life gave meaning to her.In form of her son.He was her son.Maybe not by giving him birth.As mother she always felt pull.He was part of her.She felt something from inside.Satisfaction as he rested his head on her chest.She slowly pat him.Kissing his head.In few months he will be turning one.Time is running.Everything will start changing.With time life will take turns.But she doesnt know.Where she was heading to.What fate had for her.

Sometimes she felt.Emptiness from inside.Did she ever thought.She have to lead life like this.Marriage and a son.She has her new family now.But a husband.Can they spend whole life.Like this being distant.Unknown to each other.When these questions rise on her mind.She wish to shut her eyes.Let them go.Next moment she opens her eyes.They fell on Ramyas picture.Then it sinks to her.Was there everything.Which belonged to Varna.Wasnt it Ramyas.Everything was hers.Drop of tear.Fell from corner of her eyes.Which were still.Pranush moved.On her hold.Her hand securing him.This was her life maybe.

Vivaan took napkin.After washing his hands.As they moved inside house.He was glad to know.Least Varna has started mingling.With other housemates.Specially Nandini.

V-"Highly doubt this Nandu.You are crazy.She will strangle me.If I ask her.For date?"

N-"Whats harm in trying.Im saying.You have to do this anna.Give it try?"

V-"Fine.Will send her to you.If she asks about whose idea it was."

N-"Count on me.For that."

At night Vivaan entered room.Finding Varna folding her clothes.He closed door.Undoing his watch and brushing his hair.He stole glances at her.From mirror.He never felt this much.Weird in life.Lack of courage for doing anything.But when it comes to Varna.Everything was sensitive.He cleared his throat few times.When she looked at him.She found his behavior weird.He was about to come to her.When he frowned.She went and came back.With cough syrup.Giving it to him.

Var-"Maybe you will feel better."

He looked at bottle on his hand.Cursed under his breathe.Wished to dump that but.He needed to be in control.He again went to her.Unable to say word.She was keeping clothes.Inside cupboard.When she closed door.Found him behind.Staring at her.She shut her eyes.He caught his head.Finally giving up.

Var-"What?"

V-"Are you free tomorrow?"

He didnt get any answer from her.She gave him weird look.It strike her mind.If he was here with another.Dinner party invitation.It was nightmare for her.Room filled up with guests.Their annoying looks and talks.She cant handle.

Var-"I cant attend any dinner party.Please."

V-"What.There is no party."

Var-"Thank god."

She was about leave.Setting her blanket and bed on floor.He was after her.Saying words.Which she didnt pay attention.She was so busy.When his voice became louder.She heard him.Blanket fell from her hand.

V-"Will you go on date.I mean out.With me tomorrow."

When his words strike her.Her eyes were shooting daggers at him.He was expecting this.Took deep breathe.Ready to face her this time.Whatever happens.But her reaction boiled him.She left for balcony.Running away from him.An awkward situation between them.She was boiling from inside too.How can he ask.About this to her.Was he drunk.Not in sense to talk.She could feel his presence.There too."

V-"You didnt have to run.Away like this Varna.I was talking about friendly date.If you know.What I meant."

Var-"Dont want to know.What you meant.I dont.Let me go."

He stopped her.Catching her hand.She looked at him.When he left her.Avoiding physical touch.He was on battle today.Which he has to win.

V-"Why is it always.I have to listen.What you want and you dont want.Cant it ever be me.I simply.Asked question to you.It might have simple answer.Instead of escaping from situation.What you did."

Var-"What answer do you expect.What do you think.You said."

V-"I asked normal question.Give me normal answer.Not these riddles."

Var-"No."

V-"Why?"

Var-"You know why.How can you imagine everything.Between us so simple.Im shocked.See how you are finding.This so easy."

V-"Nothing is for us Varna.For  you.For me.Its nothing.But its us who.Made it more difficult.We are making it complicated.With time."

Var-"What do you.Want from me Vivaan?"

V-"Your time.Maybe your effort.Little bit.You could do this once.For yourself.I can only request."

She couldnt catch any sleep.Whole night.Thinking about his words.This sudden turns in life.What he wants.What she should expect.From her own self.She felt pain on her head.Even more with touch up.Nandini has been doing.On her face.It was no less torture for her.She looked drained.Tired from face.Wearing simple black dress.With dot on her forehead.Nandini fixed stole on her neck.Smiling at her from mirror.If it wasnt because of her.She would have never agreed.For this what she is doing.Nandini touched her shoulders.She shut her eyes.

Var-"This doesnt seem.Right to me.I dont know."

N-"At certain point in life.Few things sound wrong to us.But they are right in some way.Justgive chance to life.See how it may work."

Var-"Nothing works for me.You dont understand."

N-"Idont have to understand.Its person who has to understand.Who must be waiting for you.Mind you.Anna doesnt like.Late comers.Even Varna Shetty doesnt like.Being not punctual?"

Varna sat with dejected face.From time trying.To find some excuse.Give up on this date plan.But Nandini was there.Trap her from all ends.She had day off.For which she will handle everything at home.Including Pranush.Lata was there too.So Varna was badly caught.Her mind and heart was racing.More with thoughts of.Facing him.It still feels so wrong to her.

Var-"I cant do this.Not right."

N-"Varna you are acting.As if you are eloping.With someone else.Leaving your husband and house.Look at me."

Var-"What do you all.Want from me?"

N-"A chance.Which you have to give yourself.This relationship.For your own good.No one else.Trust me.Talking helps.Today let this ice break Varna.For your own self."

Vivaan was checking time.Every minute.He never felt this tensed.Weird waiting for someone.This date come complicated.Appointment has disturbed him.No ends.He was still on two minds.If she would come.He sat on this white chair.Open space restaurant.It was private corner he booked for them.because he knew.Outburst both will follow.Needed strict privacy.H looked at his watch again.No trace of her.

She was walking towards entrance.Of cafe when she bumped.Into tall and hard structure.Making her purse and phone land on floor.She picked up her things.Unknowingly finding person.helping her too.

Var-"Im sorry.Its my fault."

V-"Could be mine too.If it was Varna Shetty I knew.She wouldnt have said sorry.If it isnt her fault."

The words and voice.Strike her.She looked instantly at person.His same eyes.Made her remember.First time.They met.In same way.Why it had to happen.She wished it never would.her life wouldnt have been.Way like it is today.He got up followed by her.Blank expression on her face.Disappointed him.Because he was still.At her.Trying to read her.They headed inside cafe.

Its been some time.Dead silence between them.Prevailed irritating him.She was playing with her hands.He was still unsure.How to initiate any conversation.Indeed something has to be said.For better.He had enough.The order arrived.Waiter left and didnt change her.Still position.

V-"We have come long way Varna.Why are we like this.Did you ever wonder.What we are doing.Have been doing.Where we are heading.Your past.My past all comes much later.We have to think.First what we are doing.To ourselves.We are at point in life.We cant erase our past.Cant move on.Fate has got us together on this.What can we do.How can we solve this."

He could see her.Sitting still.Looking down.At her hands.Her silence was making him frustrated.Even today she had nothing to say.To him.He clenched his fist.Controlling wave of emotions.Roaring inside him.

V-"It wasnt my fault.You fell for me.Maybe at some time.I did some mistake.But being in love is never mistake.When I see so much hatred on your eyes for me.That feeling of.Cringing at sight of seeing my face.I feel I did some sin.Which I dont know.How to pay for.Is falling in love.Ever choice."

Var-"If it would have been choice.First person to give up.On this choice.Would have been Varna Shetty."

He looked at her eyes.Which glistened with tears now.He hated himself.For getting her old wounds out.But he was certain.This has to be fixed.Some point in life.She has to speak.Her voice wasnt harsh.It sounded meek but plain hard truth.She spoke through dead tears.

Var-"Im still punishing myself.For crime I did.Falling under trap of something.Which I never knew.Would bring me to this state.Hate myself for disowning myself.Bringing destruction to me.Ending up my life.With nothing.Empty hands.I loathe myself.For being reason.Give much pain and sorrow.In their lives.Tell me with so many reasons.How can I love.Myself.Learn to live with will.To live normal life.I dont deserve this."

V-"We never write our own destiny.If something happens.Its destined to be.Stop blaming yourself.You deserve to live.Life full of hopes.You do."

Var-"I dont feel.Anything alive in me.Died long time back.Icouldnt do justice to any relationship.In life.Did I.I made my sister miserable.When she needed me.Was reason for her leaving.Her husband and son.My family never got happiness.From me.Im bringing same fate to your family.They love me so much.I give them pain.I couldnt do.Anything for you.Except giving you hatred.Which you dont deserve.I dont."

Unknowingly he couldnt see.Her breakdown.It felt miserable and painful.But much needed.He mustered courage.With teary eyes.Determined face.He touched her hand.Finding her red eyes.He tried reading them.Normal and simple girl.How can she be so wronged.In life.All harshness.Sorrows and word pain.Justified to her.

V-"Everyone on life deserves second chance.So do you.You have to bring.Varna Shetty back on you.You have to."

Var-"Its never easy.No matter how I try.End up hating myself more.You wont understand."

V-"If I say I.Want to understand."

Var-"We should stop.Please."

V-"We arent stopping today Varna.Not till we finish this off.If I say.Iwant us.Give time to each other.If I say.Want us to know.Each other.For person we are.If I say.I want to give us chance.See life from different perspective.If I."

Var-"No.How can you say this.Dont.We cant.I have given up.On myself."

V-"I havent.I do believe.I can get Varna back.If only hatred for me.Can get you back then."

Var-"Why dont you understand.Its never going to be easy for me.Noone does."

V-"Stop judging yourself.Because I know.You can."

Var-"Stop this.I beg you."

She ran away from there.Leaving him with faint smile.On his lips.He shut his eyes.Finally seeing some.Ray of hope.He could still see.Got to know today.This girl wasnt finished yet.She has to live.Again and she will.

V-"This will only stop.When you will start now.Thats promise from me.

He opened door of car.Finding her already inside.He wore seat belt.Starting car.Glancing at her.Her face and eyes were puffy.She was avoiding him.Both started for home.Before she stared at him.Hearing his words.Looking on front.

V-"Today this is promise.From this dead chapter of your life.To you.More you will try to push.yourself back.More harder I will try.get you back on track.Take this as challenge from me.If you can.But Vivaan Reddy never loses."

.......................................................................................................

First thing I would say.Can understand your frustration.With slow pace and updates of this book.Trust me its not in my hands.My laptop is broken.I have to manage with almost dead keypad.One and leaving my fingers pained.Anything for writing.

At this state I never.Promise my readers regular update.if you can understand this.I will be very thankful.Every word and situation.Of this story.Comes from my thoughts.Know how hard it is to.Transform your thoughts into words.Accept all frustration and complaints.Forgive me but I need time.Correct my english and regular updates.

Would like to know.Your thoughts specially.About this chapter.Please do not forget to vote and comment.Thank you.

:)