Alex didn't have classes until 10am the next morning, so he thankfully got to sleep in for a little while. However, that was made slightly difficult when Laf and Herc got up loudly at 8am for their 9am and were stomping sleepily around the room. Alex opened his eyes to glare at them in annoyance when he realized that John was already gone for the morning.

"John can get up and out without even waking me up, why are you two stomping around like a herd of elephants?" he complained, pulling his pillow over his head to block out the noise.

Herc whipped the pillow off of Alex's face and gave him a look. He seemed to be extremely tired, and had dark circles under his eyes.

"Maybe if SOMEBODY wasn't such a sleep-talker, Laf and I would get good sleep and not feel like zombies in the morning," he said, dropping the pillow back on Alex's face.

"Wait, what?" Alex said, sitting up quickly. "What do you mean, sleep-talking?"

"Do you seriously not know?" Laf said, sticking his head out of the bathroom with his toothbrush sticking out of his mouth. Alex shook his head, confused.

"I swear, it's like you're having full-on conversations in your sleep," said Herc. "As soon as you fall asleep, you start muttering random shit all night. Normally it's not that bad, but last night you were REALLY LOUD."

"I sleep-talk?" Alex said, puzzled. He was never aware that he did that before. "What did I say last night?"

"Some shit about John," Laf said, returning to the bathroom to spit in the sink.

"Wait, WHAT?" Alex felt the anxiety building up inside him. "What did I say?"

"I don't know, I was mostly trying to tune it out enough to get sleep," Herc said. "Sounded like you were having a nightmare though. You kept saying, 'No John! Don't go! Not you too!' No idea what that was about."

Suddenly, the memory of the dream he had had came rushing back to him. Alex had a dream where he was a bystander in his own life, watching the losses he had went through as a child. His father leaving, his mother's and cousin's deaths. And he remembered seeing John, looking at him with a hurt expression, turning around and slamming the door in his face, leaving him for forever over some reason he wasn't even aware of.

Alex gulped.

"Did, um, did John hear any of that?" he asked, trying to appear calm, but dying inside.

"No, the lucky bastard's been wearing his headphones to sleep for years, so I'm sure he tuned you out," Herc said. "Wish I had thought of that. I will tonight, that's for sure." Laf made a sound of agreement from the bathroom.

Alex put his head in his hands. Knowing that John had his headphones in was reassuring, but it wasn't good enough. He also felt paranoid. What if the dream was real? Or GOING to become real? What if John was hurt or angry about something and he didn't know? After all, it was 8am. Where did he go THAT early and why?

Laf and Herc headed out the door for their classes a few minutes later. Alex was trembling. He couldn't shake the feeling that this was real.

He'd lost a lot of things in his life. But John couldn't be one of them.

He just couldn't.

Throughout the day, Alex barely paid attention to any of his classes. He was too anxious, trying to figure out two things. First, when he would see John again that day. And second, what he would say to him when he did.

"Alex? Alex!"

Alex got smacked in the head by Angelica's flashcards. She was supposed to be helping him for an upcoming quiz in Formal Logic, but Alex just couldn't pay attention. He kept zoning out, his mind wandering back to the droning question of whether or not John hated him.

Alex sighed.

"I'm sorry, Ang, I just can't do this right now. I can't focus at all," he said.

"And why's that?" Angie said, putting the flashcards into a small bag and handing them back to him.

"It's just- I know this sounds stupid, but I had a dream last night where John was angry at me or upset with me or sad and I didn't know why. I haven't seen him all day. I just want to so that I can confirm that nothing's going on," he said.

Angie nodded.

"You know, that's not that crazy," she said. "When my mom and dad were first dating, she used to have dreams where he would cheat on her. She'd be mad at him for the rest of the day even though he didn't do anything."

Alex turned pink.

"John and I aren't dating though," he said quietly. Angie raised an eyebrow.

"Well, clearly, he's important enough to you that your subconscious mind worries about losing him," she said. "Besides, I got breakfast with him this morning before his 8am class. He was fine."

Alex let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding. That's why John was out so easy that morning, he had an 8am.

"Alright," he said. "Thanks, Ang. I think I'm gonna head back to the frat so I can talk to him when he gets back from classes."

Angie nodded and put on her motorcycle helmet.

"Let me give you a ride, that way you'll get there as soon as you can," she said. "We don't want that anxiety eating away at you."

Alex nodded reluctantly. He never really wanted to be on a motorcycle, but it was only a short distance. And Angie was right, he didn't want that anxiety to keep wearing him down.

Clinging on for (what he thought was) dear life, Alex and Angie zipped around campus and back to the frat. Alex took off Angie's spare helmet and stood up, stumbling. Angie rolled her eyes and laughed.

"Okay, Mr. Dramatic," she said. "Good luck!"

Alex waved goodbye to her as she rode away. He went inside and started up the stairs. When he reached his room, he opened the door to see John sitting on his bed on his laptop. He smiled when Alex came in.

"Alex, hi!" John said brightly. "Hey, I was thinking we could continue working on that drawing at some point. How was your day?" John then noticed the pale look on Alex's face. "Woah, are you okay? Here, sit down." He took Alex's arm and led him over to his bed.

Alex took a deep breath and turned to John.

"Apparently I sleep-talk a lot," he said. "Did you know that?"

John shook his head.

"I always listen to music to fall asleep. Plus I'm a heavy sleeper," he said.

Alex nodded.

"Well, apparently I was talking a lot in my sleep last night," he said. "And Herc and Laf told me what I was saying and they reminded me of a dream I had last night." He paused, prepared to sound stupid in front of his crush. "It was a dream where you were angry or upset about something I did to you. But I didn't know what it was. And then you kind of left my life and never came back." Alex avoided John's eyes.

"Alex, are you worried that that's true?" John asked. Alex nodded slowly. "Alex, that's not true at all. Do you even know how much you do for me? Seriously, you're the one stable person in my life. You've never made me angry or upset or sad or anxious or anything negative like that. Besides, if something was wrong, I wouldn't just leave your life. I'd talk to you to work it out." He paused. "You're too important to me for me to lose you," he added quietly.

Alex blushed pink.

"Thank you John," he said quietly. "Logically, I knew all that. Sometimes you just need to hear it."

John smiled and tilted Alex's chin up so that they were looking in each other's eyes.

"Well, I'll tell you that again and again and again," he said. "As many times as you need to hear it. I'm not going anywhere."

There was a moment of silence. The two boys looked into each other's eyes with something more than friendship on both of their minds. Eventually, John broke the eye contact and looked down, blushing with that little moment they had just had. Why did he have to hold his chin like that? That was stupid, he probably thought it was weird. John tried to bury the thoughts and put his hands in his lap.

"Anyway," he said, "can I continue working on the portrait?"

"Of course," Alex said. His stomach was full of butterflies and his heart felt warm and joyful. Talking had certainly helped.