[These two lines inspired a chapter]

John could feel it, all of it.
From the heart ache in receiving the news of Eliza and Alex getting married, the pain is losing all of his comrades, everything, and the least painful thing was the bullet wound that gushed with blood, pooling at his feet.

It wasn't for long though, the grass that seemed soft was even softer as it began to faze into air itself; John could feel himself getting lighter as the numbed pain left his body and he stood on his feet, only for a moment before he was whisked away as he heard his name echo in his ears...the next thing he knew he was standing in an office.

John looked around frantically...had he not just been on the battle field? Where was-

"I have so much work to do..." Alex's chocked response to a melancholy Eliza sounded from the corner of the room.

John looked at Alex with wide eyes, before looking to Eliza as she nodded and exited the room, closing the door, allowing John's eyes to move back to Alex, approaching him slowly.

As soon as Eliza left the room, Alex picked his quill back up and began writing.

John made his way over to Alex who was hunched over his desk, looking over to see a notice beside him; he squinted his eyes before they widened and he realized that it was a telegram for- no. John looked down at himself, horrified...he was dead...of course he was dead...that's not what bothered John though; what bothered him was that Alexander Hamilton had just received word that he, John Laurens, the man he had claimed to love, was dead, and here he was...working.

"Working..." John's voice was hushed and nothing stirred, not even Alex, "You do realize...you do realize that I'm dead, right? That I'm gone? Forever? Do you even care?" John could feel anger that had built up over awhile start to bubble over, "Are you just going to sit there and work, and pretend like none of this ever happened? None of- that I never existed? At all? If it had been Eliza that died- you- you'd be balling your eyes out right now!" John gritted his teeth, "It's because it's me, isn't it? Because it's me? You can't admit it, you can't- you can't admit that you love me, can you? It's not-" John could feel his ghostly body tremble, "It's not fair! I loved you first!" He screamed, "More than Eliza! More than Angelica! More than them combined and- more!" His voice could be heard over a loud freeway if those had existed, "And the worst part-" It started to shake, "The worst part is that- I still do! And I can't- I c-can't help it- and all you're doing is-" As John's voice weakened he heard a small gasp escape Alex's lips and turned to him immediately, seeing that his quill had dropped to the floor and there were tears dripping onto a document that he held, smearing the writing just a bit and causing John's rage to cease as he drifted over, putting a hand on Alex's shoulder, though he knew that the other couldn't feel him, nor could he hear him.

"J-Jack..." Alex chocked out, "I'm so- I want...I-"

John looked over Alex's shoulder the document he was holding.

Cold in professions...warmed by my friendship...I wish to you, my dear Laurens...by action rather than word, that I can convince you that,

"I l- I love you." Alex wiped the tears from his eyes just as John's began to trickle down his pale features, Alex still feeling weak, "It's not fair..."