Alya returned to school.

It wasn't her choice,

(was anything her choice? or was she fated to be holding her best friend's hand through the bars as she begged for death?)

but her parents insisted.

You need a sense of normalcy, they had told her, you don't want Marinette to wake up to see you so troubled.

(but Alya knew that Marinette simply didn't want to wake up)

So two weeks after that day, Alya stood in front of the steps that led up to school.

Her hands fisted the straps of her backpack, and she climbed the steps.

(did something in this building push Marinette? or was it inside her all along?)

She walked to her classroom as if everything was normal. As if when she pushed the door open, nothing would have changed.

(but everything did. but no one asked Alya, she never asked Alya)

The seats were changed. That was the first thing that caught her eye. Lila and Adrien sat in front of Alya's seat, Nino now sitting in Marinette's.

That's not right. No one should sit in Marinette's seat. That is for Marinette.

Because Marinette was coming back.

She had to be.

(but there's no way to confirm it, why can't there be a way to confirm it?)

But Alya sat silently, glaring at the back of Lila's head. She didn't ask Nino why everything changed. She knew why.

Maybe Marinette wasn't crazy. Maybe she wasn't jealous.

(because in the end, she was so sad about it. it was like she was begging Alya)

But she sat, staring blankly at the board as Mme. Bustier taught. And then she went to her next class, and then lunch, and then the class after that. Finally, the day has ended.

Alya stood, after all, she didn't unpack her things so there was no reason to pack anything up.

Rose stopped her.

"Hey," she said - her voice quiet.

"Hi," Alya responded.

(the situation has happened before, where they stood in silence because there is nothing to say. why can't there be something to say?)

"We were all thinking," Rose started, looking all around to see if anyone would chime in, but no one did,

(why would you? why would you align with talking to the girl who's best friend just tried to kill herself?)

so she continued alone, "that it might be fun to throw a welcome back party for Marinette."

Everyone who wasn't watching now was.

(the most entertaining person in the world to people is a dead one)

Alya nodded slowly, "That sounds...

(terrible, awful, the worst idea imaginable, like that won't make Marinette spiral out of control when she sees that.

But what does Alya know? she didn't know when Marinette attempted to throw herself off the Eiffel Tower.)

wonderful."

Rose smiled widely, "Yay!"

She pulled out a folder crammed with various papers, holding it out to Alya.

"So I was doing some planning-"

"That's a lot of planning," Alix snorted from her seat.

"- and I was thinking that we did a Ladybug themed party!" Alya took the folder and flipped through it, not noticing the way Adrien stiffened on his way out of the classroom.

"Why a Ladybug themed party?" Alya asked, closing the folder.

"Because she's our everyday Ladybug!"
Alya now noticed that Adrien stiffened, but said nothing.

"Sure that sounds...

(terrible

but what the hell did she know?)

great."

—

Adrien walked out of the classroom as soon as Alya agreed with the party.

He should stop it, go back in there and tell them they can't do a Ladybug themed party

(but what will he tell them?)

so he continued down the hallway.

"Oh, Adrien!" A feminine voice called out behind him. It was Lila.

She jogged up to him, not noticing the way that his hand tightened on the strap of his bag.

(was it Lila who pushed Marinette? was it his fault she was pushed?)

"Hi," he said.

"So I was thinking," Lila placed her hand on his shoulder, "that we could go to Marinette's party together!" Her eyelashes fluttered.

(like the wings of a ladybug)

Adrien shook his head, stepping out of her grasp.

"I don't think that's appropriate," he explained in as few words as he could.

(every time he looked at her he was back in that moment, staring at Marinette fall to her death)

"Oh," was all she said. Tears formed in her eyes. "I understand."

Her lips pressed into a thin line before she turned and went back into the classroom, and Adrien continued his way out of the school.

He walked down the metal stairs by the locker rooms

("Are you going to tell on her again?" Adrien had something close to that, he couldn't remember.

"Yes! She's lying to all our friends!" Marinette had argued, her eyes angry.

"If she gets in trouble, let it be her own fault."

Did he say something like that? He couldn't remember, all he could remember was Marinette's anger)

and stopped, his hand on the railing. He looked back at the spot he had talked to Marinette and back to the doors. He could see the gray car from where he stood.

But, he couldn't go there. A cavern had opened up in his chest and he needed to fill it, with something.

So Adrien turned and ran into the locker rooms, though Chat Noir exited.

—

Marinette wrinkled her nose, but it was strange because it hurt.

(she didn't remember that the last time she'd done it was in response to a joke her partner told her)

So she relaxed her face and searched her memories for what had happened.

Was it an akuma?-

(but she didn't remember what an akuma was)

So Marinette settled for waiting and thinking of something peaceful.

She didn't remember what was peaceful, so instead, she thought of ladybugs. Yes, the ladybugs were nice.

So Marinette thought of ladybugs instead of the growing dread that climbed her arms and settled in her chest. Or the ways her ears itched. Those things weren't very peaceful.

(but what she didn't realize that what she was imagining was death: as she couldn't remember anything but ladybugs and peace)

—

Chat Noir jumped onto the roof of the school and ran to the edge. His gaze immediately swept the surrounding streets, looking for something.

"Ah-ha," Chat grinned before jumping across to the rooftops to reach the Dupain-Cheng bakery.

(sweets can be bitter too)

He dropped in on Marinette's balcony, eying the dead plants in pots all crowded by the railing.

Chat frowned and grabbed a crumbling leaf with his clawed fingers, even then - he found some irony.

"Geraniums," he chuckled, "attract ladybugs."

They had learned about it in biology when speaking about the bee crisis, and he remembers Marinette being more interested in the ladybugs.

He remembers a lot about Marinette. The way she switched over to be vegetarian a month after he met her, how in the winter she'd get really sleepy and cold even with the heat on full blast, how in the summer she'd flit around - unable to sit still. 

(everyone forgets the negative when a person might die)

Chat Noir watched the leaf crumble in his claws before turning and spotting the trap door. He opened it and climbed down, wanting to surround himself with some positive memories for a little while.

Her room was amazing and so pretty to the eye. He simply walked around, running his hand over her designs and creations - as well as her dresser, desk, bed, etc. He wanted to drink in her essence that was rapidly fading from her room.

It was strange sure - but he was coping. So he looked around for a bit before returning to the balcony.

He sat on the chair that faced the city and thought of Marinette.

(was she sitting where he was when she got the idea? did she look at the night lights and decide it was too much?)

Eventually, he left.

(sometimes memories are too much to bear, so people separate themselves to recover. the truth is always difficult)

—

Alya's phone rang in the middle of class.

Mme. Bustier stopped her lesson and looked over as Alya scrambled for her phone.

"I'm so sorry Mme-" Alya started.

"Who is it?" Kim had cut her off. Alya checked the caller i.d. It read: Mme. Cheng.

"It's Marinette's mom." No one said anything after that as Alya ran out of the classroom to take it.

(no one cares about anything else when the girl in the hospital has news: good or bad. Alya doesn't know how to feel about that)

"Hello?" Alya asked into the phone, her eyes darting around as she looked back into the window of the classroom. Everyone was watching her.

"Alya?" Mme. Cheng asked.

"Yeah, it's me," Alya confirmed, her foot began to tap against the ground.

"Marinette's waking up, she-" Alya interrupted her.

"I'll be right there," and she hung up. She ran back inside the classroom and grabbed her bag before running back out, not giving an explanation.