Soon after Marinette woke up, she fell asleep again.

This is normal, the doctors explained to M. and Mme. Dupain-Cheng. Her body is still weak and healing.

So, Marinette slept through the rest of the day, and most of the next day too. She no longer needed an oxygen mask to breathe properly, and that relieved her parents to no end, it was hard to believe she was getting better if she couldn't breathe.

When she woke, the ravenette spoke to her parents with hushed voices, if she spoke at all.

(it was if something blocked her throat, making her feel like she couldn't speak even if she used all her energy.

it was one of the worst feelings in the world)

But her parents stayed optimistic. They brought her books and magazines and messages from her friends. Visiting hours didn't open until next Tuesday, which was 6 days away, so Marinette was alone with her parents most of the time.

They played cards, charades, watched movies and did a lot of things that Marinette hasn't done since she was little. She still didn't speak, but she smiled and laughed, and her eyes crinkled like they used to. Her parents were ecstatic.

But when her mother and father went home for the night

(as Marinette already felt guilty before realizing her parents slept there, on the uncomfortable chairs sitting next to her bed)

her smile faded and her eyes went uncrinkled. She felt worse than she did before her parents came.

(funny thing, happiness is. one can swing back and forth from happy to depressed in a manner of seconds - with no way to tell when one's smile would turn into tears)

During the night, Marinette sat. Her body felt weighted with something she had no choice in holding. So she sat, and she stared at the wall in front of her. Only when rays of light broke through the window did she fall into sleep, only to wait up hours later and do the whole thing over again.

(the laughing and smiling, then pain and silence. Marinette felt it was a good punishment for what she did)

While Marinette was gaining her strength in the hospital, Alya went to school.

She climbed the steps, did her work, ate, and then came home again. Mercifully, Hawkmoth's seem to have taken a rain check, as Alya wasn't sure she had the strength to run after the Akumas at the moment.

Ladybug has seemed to vanish off the face of the Earth as well, not appearing during patrols with Chat Noir anymore.

My lady's just a little busy, Chat has said. But don't you worry, Chat Noir can protect you all!

God, Alya hoped so.

But she did her work silently and stayed out of everyone's way.

(6 days until seeing Marinette)

Everyone else was planning Marinette's party for when she returned, which Mme. Cheng has told Alya to be in a couple of weeks. Everyone had a job to do, Alya's was the banner and party hats. They were to be Ladybug-themed, of course, so she was prepared to be covered in red and black paint for the next few weeks.

(but why did she feel an ache deep in her gut when thinking of the party? was the theme a good idea?)

Adrien didn't seem to like the idea of the party, his lips pressed into a thin line whenever someone brought it up. Not that Alya's said anything. She just stayed in her lane.

(because maybe if she didn't push Marinette to talk with Adrien with her feelings all the time, she would be still sitting next to the raven-haired girl)

—

Adrien couldn't sleep.

Or, more accurately, Adrien couldn't sleep without waking up again a few hours later from the feeling of Marinette's blood covering his hands.

(scrub, scrub, scrub. scrub the feeling of her blood from your fingertips, or they'll be stained for eternity)

So he did his homework for the rest of the week and played video games for most of the night. Energy drinks made up most of his diet, cans of the caffeinated drinks littering his bedroom. 

(why sleep and see your friend fall to her death when you can feel like a bad-ass while beating someone in an online match?)

Plagg and Tikki were worried, rightfully so.

Adrien wasn't behaving like his normal self, preferring to be alone in his room rather than out in the world like he used to.

(but how could they understand that the outside world reminded him of her, and he didn't want to be reminded of her. he wanted to be normal)

But they waited, they bided their time. Adrien slowly got worst and worst, not acknowledging that the proclaimed love of his life was in the hospital. That his friend wasn't in the hospital. So they finally agreed it was time.

"Adrien," Tikki started, flying in front of him while he was playing a match on his tv.

"Yeah?" Adrien asked, twisting his body so he could see past Tikki. His brow was furrowed as he played.

"You-" Tikki attempted to speak, but was interrupted by Adrien as he let out a large "Yes!" as he won the match he was playing. Plagg groaned and flew up, knocking down Adrien's controller. It hit the ground and his batteries fell out, one rolling under the couch. Adrien looked up to them with confusion.

"You need to go see Marinette," Plagg told him bluntly. Tikki glared at him, as their plan was to introduce him to the idea slowly.

"I can't go see Marinette," Adrien said. "I have photoshoots all next week and Marinette's visiting hours aren't even open until Tuesday and-"

"Not as Adrien," Plagg interrupted. "You need to go see her as Chat Noir." Plagg's voice was unusually soft.

"Why?" The blond asked. Tikki sighed and flew up closer to him.

"You've been repressing your feelings, Adrien. You haven't once confronted the fact that Marinette is Ladybug," she said, her big eyes soft.

Adrien got up and dug the heels of his palms into his eyes.

(Tikki and Plagg didn't know the guilt that curled up in Adrien's chest, squeezing his lungs so he couldn't seem to breathe.

God why couldn't he BREATHE?)

"I can't!" He yelled, voice thick with tears, "I can't go there and face her! I failed her." His last sentence was almost a whisper, his hands dropping to his sides.

Tikki wiped her eyes as well before flying up and grabbing on his hands in both of hers. It was a small attempt at comfort.

"I know," she said, her voice so quiet, Adrien had to strain to hear it. "I feel like I failed her too. I caught her-" Tikki broke off in a choked cry and didn't continue, but Adrien caught the message nevertheless. He looked up to Plagg, who was just floating there with his ears flatten against his head.

"I'll- I'll try," Adrien said, "Plagg, Claws Out."

—

Marinette was staring at her wall when something tapped her window.

She looked over to see a pair of glowing green eyes and blond hair. Something crawled up her throat and threatened to choke her, and Marinette wished for nothing more than him to think she was asleep and go away, but she knew he had night vision and could see her very clearly.

So she stood up on wobbly legs and stumbled over to the window. They had it installed a certain way so that Marinette wouldn't be able to fall out of it, but Chat was able to wiggle his way through the small opening.

Marinette didn't say anything to him, instead turning around and walking back to her bed, winded from only that small feat. She sat and pushed herself back so her back was against the pillows. The raven-haired girl watched Chat as he walked over and sat across from her, his legs crossed.

"So you know," she mused, her voice quiet.

(she didn't see him cringe at the sound of her voice, it raspy and different from what it once was)

(he didn't know that she hasn't spoken since she told her parents that she loved them)

He nodded, "Yeah I know."

Marinette stared at the shape of Chat, most of his form hidden by the darkness. Only his hair and eyes seemed to be bright enough to study.

"You know I can't be Ladybug anymore," she said.

(Chat did know that, but it didn't stop the choking feeling he got when she said it)

"Why?" He choked out, his clawed fingers clutching his knees so hard that it would have drawn blood if he was not in his suit. Marinette just stared at him for another moment.

"Why I can't be Ladybug, or why I did it?" She asked, and Chat didn't like how calm she looked.

(Chat didn't know that she wasn't calm, she was just numb)

"Both," his voice was reduced to a whisper. Marinette nodded and threaded her fingers together in front of her, setting her hands on her lap.

"If the other knows your identity, you have to give the miraculous up, you know that." Chat did know that. "And for the other part, I-" Marinette stumbled for the first time since they began speaking. She took a deep breath and blinked away any tears that threatened to come.

"It was too much for me. My personal life wasn't the best and being Ladybug just made me," Marinette paused as if thinking of the words, "It made me feel like I'd never be anything more than Ladybug, the superhero," her voice then got quieter if that was possible. "Everyone seemed to want Ladybug, and no one seemed to want Marinette."

If Chat saw the tears that glimmered in her eyes and the way her throat became choked with tears, he said nothing.

"Marinette," he started, his ears pressed flat against his head, "I have to know. Did I play any part in your decision?" Marinette looked up at the dark figure that was her partner and saw the way his eyes searched hers for a semblance of an answer.

(she didn't know if it was the way that Lila affected her or the feeling that she had to get the truth off her chest, but Marinette knew she couldn't lie to him)

"Yes," she said, voice successfully back to being raspy and quiet and no longer thick with tears. "Chat, we were supposed to be partners. And I needed you." Chat stared with her with an expression hidden in the darkness. "I felt like no matter how many times I needed you as a friend, you were pushing to be something more. And I couldn't handle myself, much less being something other than friends. I felt like I couldn't-" Marinette paused taking a shuddering breath, her gaze strictly on her hands in her lap, "I felt like I couldn't trust you."

(Chat felt like he was stabbed in the chest, he has been apart of the reasons Marinette jumped. it was his fault.

guilt curled up in his chest, making it harder to breathe)

(Marinette felt sad and relieved, as once she spoke she could not quite stop)

Chat held his head in his hands, whimpering softly.

"I'm so sorry Marinette," he said, his voice muffled by his hands. "I am a terrible person."

(she didn't assure him that it was okay because it wasn't, it wasn't okay

nothing was okay when two kids sat on a hospital bed in the middle of the night)