My mom tugs on my jacket even though I know there is nothing to fix, "You have your water? Your skates?" my mom asks. I just want to roll my eyes. We are all standing in the hallway of the hotel room ready to go to my competition. My dad stands ready to go by facing the door and you can feel the tension rolling off him. He was ignoring me which was fine because I was ignoring him. My mom was nervous from both our negative energy and for my competition today.

We walk to the rink and to anyone looking at us from the outside would even see a serious family. As soon as I reach the rink I separate myself from my parents. My mom gives me a hug before I go and my father hardly glances in my direction.

I take a big breath as I am finally separated from my overbearing parents. As I walk to the skaters change room I feel a sharp pain in my shoulder as I'm shoved to the side from force. I look back to see one of my competitors look back and give me snarky look as she looked me up and down, "Watch where you are going, Loser." She turns and walks away confidently. I shake the image of her own out of my head as I enter the back area. I take a deep breath needing to get my mind in the right place.

"Chesa! Where have you been? You need to warm up and get your skates on." Coach comes up to me, "Remember serious and focused head!"

My coach quickly leads me to warm up. My head is swirling lost in thoughts and drowning. I needed a minute to take a breath but no time. One thing led to another and soon I was standing in the arena waiting for my turn on the ice. Crown cheering, skaters all in their own focused world, coaches giving their students pep talk, heck even my coach was giving me some sorta pep talk, ".. and you have to focus on that enter of the triple Sal. You only have once Chesa. Make it count."

Only once... once... once. Everything is a blur and suddenly I'm standing in the middle of the ice all my own in my starting position. Those few seconds in my starting position seemed like forever as thoughts floated through my head... I want a champion daughter for once... It's all you Chesa... One chance... don't mess it up... Loser... My music starts and I react! Off I go I feel my body doing to moves but my heart isn't in it. The first jump comes up and I tense. I jump and stumble on the landing but pull it. I sigh as I am relieved the first jump is done. My eyes travel across the rink as I do my choreography but I see none of it. I could be staring into space right now. I set up for my triple Salchow. I tense and doubt myself as I take off. As quickly as I hit the ice I'm up off the ice. I fell. I fell at sectionals. My chest tightens at the thought. As I skate my body starts to feel numb my limbs not knowing what they are doing. I trip but recover barely. I stumble through the rest of program. With every step and element, my confidence falls and barely hang on. By the end my program my chest is tight from the tense of my muscles, my brain is yelling at the body for not doing what it's supposed to and my eyes burn with the need of tears to pour.

I hold the ending of my program and take a deep breath. No matter how bad I've done you don't show it to the judges, crowd or your competitors. I bow to the audience and skate towards to where my coach is. His face is blank as I get off, knowing everyone, cameras included, are in on his reaction. People don't realize we are actors as much as we are performers. We go and sit in the 'Kiss and Cry' booth to find out my score. I know it will be nothing I want but we will sit and act as though it's good before we go backstage and my coach will tell me what he really thinks.

My heart plummets as my score comes in. The tears want to come to the surface but instead, I force smile and get up to go out of public spotlight. Coach comes up behind me and firmly takes my forearm and leads me to the back change room that's empty before roughly releasing me cornering me.

"What the heck was that Chesa!!" I wince at his rough tone and my tears come to the surface, "I put all this work into you and give you everything you need and you choke! After I take you under my wing and give you the key to winning and make me a champion coach you go out there and give me that! You know how that makes me look?" He yells into my face and a tear few tears escape the confines of my eyelids. My coach looks discussed at my crying, he is a firm believer that tears are meant for your pillow, and I quickly wipe them away. He looks at me in a disappointed way, "You aren't even worth it." He walks away as I stand there with tears running down my face as he walks away. I sit down on the bench and hold my stomach which is twisted with a bunch of feeling as I quietly cry.

A few minutes later I hear someone enter and I stop crying wipe my face and starts to pull myself together and take my skates off. I swing my bag over my shoulder and go out to meet my parents.

My father doesn't even acknowledge me as I come up to them. My mom sees me and hugs me, "Chesa you looked beautiful." I wanted to smile at the support my mom gave me but my father cleared his throat and my mom pulled away. The support from her was pulled away as quickly as it came because of my father. We went back to our hotel room and stopped in front of the door. My dad opened the door but didn't go in.

My father didn't look at me when he spoke, "Chesa you are to stay in the room the rest of the day while me and your mother go out. From now until further notice you will be under strict watchful eyes. We are not going to let you throw away how much work and money we put into you because you don't feel like. Get use to staring at a wall until you start showing some results."

I was stunned. I looked between my father and mother. They thought I did this on purpose? That I didn't try? The knife that was in my heart from my dad's nonsupport just went deeper and twisted painfully. I numbly walked into the hotel room. I winced as the door slammed behind me. I let my bags drop to the floor as I slide down the door and barry my head into my arms. My shoulders shake as sobs take over me. I sit there for who knows how long just crying my heart out. As my sobs quiet down I kept hearing this annoying buzzing. I slowly raise my head to find the source. It's coming from the hotel desk.

I walk over and open up the drawer. I see my phone sitting there vibrating. I quickly pick up and see Kace is calling. I feel my spirit lift up for the first time that day. I stare at it for a second before I press answer. I quickly put it to my ear. After a second I say, "Hello?"

"Chesa." I hear Kace sigh almost as if relieved. "You answered. I've been texting and calling all day."

I sniff, "My dad took my phone way. Wanting to me to focus on the competition."

"Oh yes! How did it go?" Kace said, "Did my Chesa kick butt?"

All the feelings of my horrible short program came back and I didn't know what to say. After my silence, Kace's side shifted and his voice this time held more worry, "Chesa? What's wrong?"

What went wrong? What went right? Just thinking about it brought back a sob. I covered my mouth but it was too late as it already escaped. Then I just let it go and cried into the phone, "I failed Kace. I am a failure." I cover my face as the tears spill over.

"Hey, hey you aren't a failure," Kace says in a calm soothing tone as I cry into the phone, "Chesa listen to me no matter how bad you did you aren't a failure."

"How do you know? How do you know I didn't fail." I cry into the phone, "I could have fallen on everything."

"Chesa. Chesa listen to me. Even if you fell on everything it doesn't mean you failed. Heck even if you fell from the beginning to the end it doesn't matter. You continued and kept going. I know you did because that is your character. You don't give up even when life beats you down and as long as you don't give up you haven't failed. If you don't fail then that means you haven't tried hard enough. And you Chesa tried so hard and that is something to celebrate." Kace said in his calm soothing voice. It made my crying stop and start to breathe normally.

"Why do you have to be so smart?" I joke.

Kace chuckles, "Well I guess that's what you get when you decide to hang out with a nerd."

"I thought nerds where just smart, not know it alls."

"Well we have to use our smartness someway and since we know it all..."

I roll my eyes, "Wiseguy..."

"That I am." I hear the smile in Kace's voice. I pick at my clothing as silence elapses.

"Chesa..." Kace's voice came through the phone. I could tell by his voice what he was going to ask, "What happened?"

I cleared my throat, "Well..." Where do I start? " I, uh, I don't know. Yesterday I had such a great practice everything worked beautifully. Coach said as long as I do that today I would be fine..."

Kace groaned, "So he put pressure on you." I didn't have to tell Kace but he knew how my coach could be. I thought I heard him grumble 'stupid ignorant coach' or something like that but I just continued my story.

"Anyway later that evening my father called me to talk to him, this is when I was talking to you, he took away my phone saying it's a distraction and I need to focus on winning." I sigh, "Let's just say I didn't take that well and I went to bed upset." My mood was plummeting just thinking about what happened.

"Well, no kidding. Telling your kid to focus on winning instead of enjoying what she does." Kace grumbled. I think he could feel my mood because he delivered in being able to make me smile with his comment, "And I mean you couldn't talk to beautiful me." He, of course, said it jokingly but he didn't know how true it was.

I continued my story, "This morning I couldn't shake this the pressure on my mind and I couldn't get my head clear. I know I shouldn't be blaming that but anyway I got out on the ice and choked. I barely held onto my first triple jump, felling on my triple Salchow, popped my triple combo to a double and tripped up on my step sequence." I pause and sigh, "I was disappointed in myself but coach was even more so. And he let me know it."

"Let you know it?" Kace asked worriedly, "Chesa did he hurt you?"

"No, Kace." I quickly said. "He just yelled at me in the change room saying stupid stuff like I disappointed him and I'm worthless."

"Chesa that's not true. You know that, right?" Kace persisted. "Chesa, you are not worthless you hear me?"

My heart warmed at that, "Thank you Kace. I know."

"Anyway my father was very disappointed and basically shunned me to the hotel room and told me until I start trying and winning I'm going to be put under 'house arrest'. So here I am in the hotel room by myself all day."

"Ugh well, that sucks. Except now you found your phone because of me and I'll guess I'll have to keep you company."

"I guess so." Hmmm, the whole day talking to Kace? I think this day is looking up. We decided that face time might be better so we got that setup and talked the whole day. I was feeling much better.

I was laying on my bed with a tub of ice cream and holding my phone up because I was face timing Kace.

"How about this? One smart fella, he felt smart, two smart fellas they both felt smart." I said into the screen.

"One smart fella he felt smart, two smart fellas they both felt smart." Kace said back to me.

"Faster!" I said eyes lighting up.

"One smart fella he felt smart! Two smart fellas they both smelt fart!" Kace said enthusiastically.

I bust out laughing. Kace joined in when he realized what he said. By the time I was through laughing tears where running down my face.

"Good one." Kace said. I giggle thinking about him saying "smelt fart". I take another bite of my ice cream.

Kace sighs, "This has been fun Chesa but unfortunately I have to go."

My smile fades, "Okay." I didn't really want to be left with my own thoughts.

"But I want you to something for me."

"Anything." I answer right away.

"I want you to skate for yourself tomorrow. Forget everything your coach or parents have told you. Skate for you, skate because you enjoy it. Show that arena why you love to skate. Show them the girl I've seen on that ice. The one that loves skating. Skate like there is nothing on the line. Show them what you've worked so hard at because it's something you enjoy. Ignore your coach. If you have to put your fingers in your ears and sing to ignore his harsh words." I laugh at that imagining how my coach would react, "Can you do that for me?"

I nod my head, "Ya I can do that."

"Alright and hey if my advice works, you owe me a kiss when I get home." Kace smiles.

I know full well that was to get a smile out of me but my stomach still soars at the possibility.

Since he was joking I should have just laughed but instead I answered, "Deal."

His face shoots into a huge smile, "Bye Chesa."

"Bye Kace." I say. We have one last look before the screen goes blank. I sigh and get up from my bed. Though the day started off grim tomorrow is looking like a much better day.