Diary,

I... I don't know what to do... I'm freaking out, I'm hyperventilating, and I think I'm going to die.

Okay, okay, not literally but like, literally.

Emotionally, I mean. Morally, mentally.

Okay, here's a rehash of what happened.

So, Byron and I talked over lunch. He explained he whole thing between him and Krista and how he was pretty lonely, even with the cast around and stuff. Life wasn't the same for him. Although he didn't want another relationship, he couldn't stand being alone. He figured he'd call upon the one person he could always turn to in his time of need.

Me.

So, we ate our lunch and talked some more about how we have always been best friends more than anything, even back when we were dating. Byron said he truly did love me then, but felt like he was holding back, although he didn't know why until he started dating Krista. He told me again that he truly did have feelings for me and really did love me back then.

Then, he said something that nearly made me choke... AGAIN.

He said... he still has feelings for me... like that...

He told me he didn't know if it was because he was lonely, or what, but the thought of me made his heart swell and he was truly happy when I was around. He said he yearned for me once again. After hearing that, I couldn't finish my meal. Good thing he'd waited until the end to break it to me, or else I would've wasted a whole bunch. Although I wasn't hungry, I choked down the rest hesitantly and we soon set out for my apartment.

When we got into my apartment, he shut the door behind us and took my hand. He gave me that same look that wooed me all those years ago, and pulled me in gently. I knew I couldn't betray Krista like that, so I shook my head and laughed it off, showing him around my place instead. I gave him the tour of the small apartment and then went into my room to pack. He followed, helping out stuff into my suitcase. He was really great at it, honestly, and it was one of the things I missed about him. He knew how to be organized, at least with my stuff. I told him that I had class tomorrow, but I could stay with him anyways. I'd just be gone on class days. The studio is only about 45 minutes from my college, which is nice. I told Byron it would be nice to stay with him and the other cast for a while. I ranted on and on about how I loved Jimmie Best and showed him my best Rosco P. Coltrane impression. Byron laughed a bit and looked at me admiringly.

I really didn't know then how much longer I could hold off. My heart burned for him, because I'd been lonely since I moved off to college. No friends, no family, no roommates. I'd been alone for a while now, besides you Diary.

Any way you put it, we were both two broken hearts looking to rekindle old flames. Byron walked over to me putting a hand on my arm. I looked down. I knew it was wrong. I knew it was! I knew Byron was just lonely and missing Krista! I should've told him to call her! I should've tried to help him fix it!

But I made it worse... So much worse...

I let him kiss me... I let Byron Cherry kiss me...

I let him love me, and pour out the emotions he'd been suppressing since his argument with Krista. I let him hold me, and I held him back. He cried on my shoulder. I knew he missed Krista, and he didn't know what he was doing, but I got caught up in those big, blue eyes of his. They've always been a death trap for my love. His silky blonde hair was too hard to resist running my fingers through. I wiped away his tears and kissed him again.

Why did I do that?! Why?!

I let him wrap his arms around my waist and pull me close, and I let myself wrap my arms around his strong, broad shoulders. I knew it was wrong, I knew it was. This whole thing is all wrong!

It should've been Krista...

Now, we're back at the studio. Byron had finally mentioned how the time had gone by, and how we had to be back to the studio soon. On the way back, he talked up a storm, as if nothing had happened. He distracted me, and got me talking too.

When we got here, he decided to go to bed. After one last small, tender, loving kiss, he moved into his room and shut the door quietly. I was left wondering what in the world just happened to me.

He kissed me. Why? It should've been Krista. I shouldn't even be here.

I'm going to bed... I hope I don't have nightmares about this...

Somebody help me... Maybe I'll talk to somebody tomorrow before school...

Goodnight, I guess...

Love,

Cratey R.