Dear Diary,

You know, ever since this morning, Byron Cherry has been on my mind. (He's my high school love from my first entry, btw.) I don't know why, but I can't shake the feeling. I'd write him a letter, or even call him, but I don't know where he is now. I know in high school he played football with his brothers, but he always said how he wanted to be an actor. I wonder if he ever made it...

Anywho, I guess I just haven't been able to get him off my mind. We grew up together and were always best friends, up until high school. Then, we started dating. I thought he was my soulmate, and I thought I could spend the rest of my life with him, truly. I saw a future with him.

Except, I was selfish. I ignored the feeling that Byron wasn't meant to be with me. Blinded by selfish desire, Byron and I continued our relationship for a year and a half. During that time, he grew close to one of my best friends, Krista. I knew they were right for each other the first time I saw them together. Although Byron was loyal to me, I could see his loyalty was meant to be elsewhere.

I suppose now I know how it feels to be single, seeing I've been single since Byron and I broke up in high school. Of course, he didn't rush into a relationship with Krista, but I knew that's where he was going when he broke it off. I'd been expecting it for a few months at that point, but that doesn't mean I wasn't upset. That night, I went home and cried. Although Byron had broken up with me, I mostly felt guilty for keeping him from his true love. I knew Krista was right for him, somehow. Just a feeling, you know? I cried for days. Seeing him at school was heartbreaking. Not being able to hug him or hold his hand was painful. Krista supported me a bunch, knowing how she would feel if Byron broke it off with her, theoretically. She loved to write in high school, so she must've known about it because of one of her characters.

Anyways, I guess I'm relapsing into my high school days. I miss having someone warm to cuddle with or hug, you know? I miss his strong arms and broad shoulders that always wrapped me against his strong chest.

What am I saying? Am I just going to let myself relapse like this???

Maybe...

Maybe not...

I need something to get my mind off him. Maybe I should do my homework that's due tomorrow, huh?

I'll write later.

Thoughtfully,

Cratey R.