FROZEN STARS
THIRTY NINE

"OKAY, TELL ME AGAIN ." Bellamy insisted. He leant forward in his seat, eyebrows furrowed, milling over the map of Mount Weather that Clarke had stretched out in front of them.

Marley sat beside Clarke, just across from Bellamy, close enough so that the tips of her boots touched his. The trio were huddled around one of the mess hall tables. Marley scowled down at the map, trying her best to commit it to memory; the longer she stared, the more the lines began to move and she wasn't entirely sure that she wasn't going insane. She sighed and tucked her hands under her chin, eyes rising to study the lines in Bellamy's forehead as he puzzled over the safest way into the mountain.

"It's a labyrinth. We got to the dam through this tunnel." Clarke pointed at a maze of lines scrawled across the paper in front of them, tracing her route to her Mouth Weather exit point. "It's all connected to the mine system. That's our way in."

Marley wrapped her fingers around the mug of steaming hot tea on the table in front of her. The night was freezing and, even despite the layers she wore, her body was wracked with shivers and her lips felt as if they were turning blue. "But is it safe?" She questioned. The map was littered with winding passageways that were surely impossible to navigate undetected. "It doesn't seem safe."

It was dangerous, practically a death wish, all three of them knew that. They knew that anyone who entered Mount Weather probably wouldn't make it out alive. But that was just something they had to accept if they wanted their friends back.

Bellamy's eyes drew up from the map and locked o onto hers. "It's safe. If we can get past the reapers and the Mountain Men." He replied, unperturbed by the possible chance of death.

Marley took a deep breath in and out, shrugging her jacket further around her shoulders. Her fingers popped out of the end of her sleeves, slowly turning red as the icy wind blew past them. "Great."

Half of her wanted to help them sneak into the mountain, to help them find the best way to sneak in and out undetected - because some tucked away, shadow-infested part of her mind still thought that she needed to prove herself to someone or anyone or everyone - but the other half was screaming at her to run away from certain death and let those who actually knew what they were doing handle things.

"I swear to god, if your mom doesn't sanction a mission soon, I'm going by myself." Bellamy declared stubbornly. Both Marley and Clarke glanced up at him. His expression was stoic; Marley's gaze traced the angles of his face, highlighted by shadow, and the soft determination that painted his expression.

He probably knew she was staring. It was becoming a common occurrence. The past few days, she couldn't seem to keep her eyes away from him. She just liked the way his forehead creased when he was concerned or the corners of his eyes crinkled when he laughed. Most of all, she liked the way his freckles danced across his nose, like the stars in the night sky, and sometimes she had to stop herself from wanting to reach out and trace the gaps between them with her fingers. In a totally platonic way, of course.

"You won't be by yourself." Clarke insisted. She and Bellamy shared a glance before her gaze trailed over Bellamy's shoulder.

Marley followed her eyes to where they'd landed on Finn and Murphy walking towards them, very much free and out of lockup. They'd be in there for the past two days, answering as many questions as Abby and the guards could possibly throw at them, locked behind a thick plate of glass with Tate, who was still screaming and shouting at anyone who would listen; it was a miracle he hadn't tired himself out yet.

"Guess the inquisition's over." Bellamy scoffed. His eyes flickered towards Marley; Conc bowed her head away from him, staring down at the table. She still thought about what Murphy did to her, Bellamy and Jasper, the way forth tied them up and forced her to watch while whilst kicked the stool out from under Bellamy's feet. And Finn, not even Elijah - who'd been friends with him since they were kids - could look him in the eyes after what observed done. She'd asked him about it and written avoided the question It just didn't seem like him.

Everything was wrong and Marley didn't like it.

"How's Finn doing anyway?"

Clark frowned. "I haven't talked to him since we got back. I don't know what to say." She paused, mulling over her thoughts. "He just kept shooting."

"We're at war, Clarke. We're all done things." Bellamy reminded her.

The air turned cold as Finn stepped up to their table. "Hey." He spoke lowly, his voice uncertain. Marley glanced up at him through her lashes; his shoulders were slouched and he looked exhausted, bags clinging to the space below his eyes.

"Hey." Bellamy acknowledged him shortly.

Marley's eyes flicked between Clarke and Finn, and the awkward, half-glances they were giving each other across the table. "Hey, Bellamy." She stood to her feet, hands still clutching onto her mug of tea and the warmth it provided. Bellamy quirked an eyebrow at her when she called his name. "Next round's on us."

He didn't need to be told twice. A harsh chill had engulfed them the moment Finn stepped over, somehow even worse than the wind that had been turning her lips slowly to ice since the moment she'd sat down. He trailed her as she headed towards the bar. She leant up against it, setting her mug down on the outcrop of metal, and Bellamy came to rest beside her.

There was silence for a moment, nothing but the wind and the hushed hum of voices came from behind them until Marley's small voice cut through the silence. "Do you think we'll really be able to get everyone back?" She cleared her throat and shuffled uncomfortably. "They're all alone in there. We don't even know if they're okay."

The thought of her being okay when they could be suffering was almost too much for her to bear. Everything was just rattling around inside her head, getting louder and louder and louder, so loud that her head throbbed. She was okay, especially now Tate was locked away, and she didn't deserve that, at least not any more than they did. For all she knew, every single one of their friends could be dead. And the thought was eating slowly at her insides.

"We'll get them back." Bellamy took in Marley's face; the way the silver moonlight kissed her skin, drawing shadows beneath her cheekbones, an uncertain frown tugging at her lips. "I promise." It may as well have been an empty promise, they both knew that, but at least it helped to lessen the furrow of her eyebrows, even as guilt continued its persistent troubling of her thoughts.

"I know." Truthfully, she believed in him. The mission was nothing short of a death wish, and that terrified her, rightly, but if anyone could do it, it was Bellamy Blake.

The more she thought things over, the more the guilt stacked up. Why, again, was she leaving the dangerous tasks to everyone else? What gave her the right to sit back while Bellamy and Clarke and Elijah and Raven planned some elaborately treacherous rescue mission? She couldn't just sit back and watch idly as they put themselves in danger over and over again. It was all building up inside her chest, almost spilling out past her lips, ringing around her skill so loud that she couldn't hear what Bellamy was saying. She knew he was - she could see his lips moving out of the corner of her eye, trying to draw her attention - but din that had built up inside her head and chest.

"Marley."

She only snapped out of her thoughts, the ringing fading and curling up into itself, her chest ceasing its gasping breaths when Bellamy squeezed her hand. She hadn't even realized what she'd been doing until he snapped her back to reality; her hand was wrapped around his, her fingers dancing absentmindedly between his. Marley snatched her hand away quickly, cheeks flushing the deepest shade of red. "Sorry," she murmured. She noticed though, even despite the cold that was washing over her, his skin was startlingly warm against hers.

"What's wrong?"

Before she could even take a moment to think, the words came tumbling out. "I want to come with you," she stated. "I want to help you find a way into Mouth Weather."

Bellamy blinked back at her in surprise. "What?" His eyebrows were crumpled in confusion and he looked a little amused by Marley's sudden outburst. "Are you sure?"

She had to prove herself. She just had to. Maybe not to anyone but to herself, at least. Finally standing up to Tate was one thing but it wasn't exactly enough to then just sit around idly, listening to him yelling for her and his freedom for hours on end.

She swallowed thickly, pushing down the nerves that were constricting her throat. She had to do this. Hell, she wanted to do this. "I'm sure."

"It'll be dangerous." He pointed out.

She knew that, she'd spent enough time worrying about that. Marley glanced at him; he was studying her face like she'd been studying his not too long ago, eyes drawing over the troubled lines of her forehead and the firm set of her lips. "I'm sure," she repeated, insistent. It wasn't like they were planning on sneaking in immediately, nothing much could go wrong during a little walk through the trees, right?

He acknowledged her decision quietly in the beat of silence that fell between them. It was almost awkward until he spoke again, changing the subject.

"You know, we never talked about what happened last week."

Marley quirked an inquisitive eyebrow in his direction. "Last week? Tate?" No, it couldn't be about him. He knew she'd talk about that when she was ready, and she didn't think she'd ever really be ready to divulge everything he'd done to her in the short few years she'd known him.

"Last week," Bellamy repeated, a little slower, searching her eyes for any flicker of understanding.

"Oh." She spun things over in her mind, recounting events and tarnished and chaotic memories from the past week. So much had happened, she felt like she'd been living in Camp Jaha for weeks, months even, when really they'd barely had time to find their feet and get used to their new living conditions. Her thoughts spiralled and she dug deeper until she realised exactly what he'd meant by last week. The stars, how he'd said he'd miss her if she was gone, the kiss.

"Oh."

It wasn't that she'd forgotten the kiss — she thought about it all the time, a little too much if she was being completely honest — it was that she was trying to forget. Her chest swelled when it crossed her mind but she could never quite put a finger on why; it was probably because she was embarrassed. She'd just kissed him, without warning, without even asking him if it was okay.

She'd hoped that maybe he'd forgotten too, with everything that had happened since then. That he'd been so distracted with rescue missions and search parties that that brief moment in the hidden corner of the dropship had slipped his mind. Then they wouldn't have to talk about it and whatever the hell it meant, not that Marley had any idea what it actually meant.

"I'm sorry I kissed you," Marley spoke quietly, voice barely raising about a whisper. Suddenly, the groove in the metal by her hand seemed extremely interesting.

"You don't need to apologise." A small smile quirked at his lips as he watched her distractedly trace patterns across the bar they leant on.

She wasn't even sure what to say. She was just confused. "I shouldn't have done it." Her eyes raised to meet Bellamy's. His expression was unreadable but at least he didn't look upset. Marley exhaled sharply; she could feel Bellamy's eyes working across her skin. "I don't know why I did."

That was a lie. At least, half of one. She did know why she'd kissed him — Elijah had already pointed out that it was because she liked him and, though she'd never give him the satisfaction of letting him know he was right, of course she liked him. And, in the heat of the moment, her feelings had clouded her judgement and spurred her on to something so incomprehensibly stupid that she couldn't find a way to explain why it happened without making herself seem like a complete and utter idiot.

Maybe it wouldn't have been so bad if she knew he liked her back.

"I would have kissed you anyway," he murmured like he was reciting a fact from a book, his voice steady and sure and insistent. Marley's head snapped up at his words. She'd tried to best to mask her surprise but it hadn't worked; she blinked back at him, grey eyes wild and confused. "If you'd let me." He added. He wasn't looking at her now but rather straight ahead; he took a small sip of his drink, eyes fixated on something in the distance.

"Oh," was all Marley could say. She wasn't sure exactly what she should say to a revelation like that. What were you meant to say? She had to remind herself that he'd said he would have kissed her, back then, at that moment under the stars, not that he'd still kiss her now.

Marley gulped. If she was being honest with herself, she didn't think she was entirely ready to let someone else in, in that way. In fact, she knew she wasn't ready. Not yet, anyway. Not so soon after Tate, after she'd finally pulled herself out of that hole and the darkness he brought. She needed to figure things out, to find herself again — at the risk of sounding cliche — because she wasn't who she'd been three years ago and she needed to know whether that girl was still in there, hidden somewhere deep down in her chest. Her heart was hammering against her ribcage, almost painfully slamming against the bone relentlessly, flooding her ears with rushing blood.

Bellamy's little finger brushed over hers, tentative and testing, and Marley let him, for a moment, before she slid her hand away. She tucked her arms around herself, suddenly extremely aware again of the cold that had been creeping up her spine.

"Bellamy, I can't," she whispered, cheeks flushing bright in embarrassment. "Not yet." She clarified.

When she didn't hear him react — nor see his reaction out of the corner of her eye — she assumed the worst. And when he reached his hand up, probably for something mundane and innocent and unassuming, she found herself flinching, curling her body away slightly to shield herself from whatever her body thought was coming. She guessed she'd grown accustomed to it, to rejection or refusal leading to retribution, in some way or another. Maybe it was second nature now, drilled so deep in her bones that even someone who'd never hurt her was a threat in her body's eyes.

If he noticed her flinch, he didn't say anything. The pair kept their eyes trained straight ahead for a while, engulfed in an awkward silence, stealing secret glances at each other through their lashes every so often.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, "You deserve better than that." There were no stars in the sky; there was just darkness and it had engulfed everything in its path. Marley turned to walk away but Bellamy caught at her wrist. When she shivered, she wasn't sure if it was the cold or the way his long fingers curved around her wrist gently.

He shook his head. "You don't need to apologise." He whispered, repeating his words from earlier, his fingers falling away from her wrist, but lingering there for a second. "Marley-"

"Please."

He was looking down at her with furrowed eyebrows, like he was trying to figure something out or think of the right words to say to make things okay. His brows softened when he caught her eyes, grey and somehow still sparkling even in the darkness.

If he looked at her like that for much longer, like she was made of the stars that were absent in the sky, she was definitely going to kiss him. She almost did, inching forward, movements so small that Bellamy probably didn't even notice what she was doing. But her brain was screaming at her not to; no, don't lead him on. You can't give him what he wants, you can't fall in love again. Stop.

It was the clearest the voice in her head had been in a long time.

She didn't have to snap herself out of it. Murphy did that for her. "Well, if it isn't the lovebirds." He jeered, jamming himself in between Marley and Bellamy, a smirk playing at his lips as he slung his arms around the pair of them. He held a cup of moonshine in one hand, almost spilling it over Marley's shoulder, somehow already tipsy from what could have surely only been his first drink.

"Murphy." Bellamy greeted him coldly. Marley stayed silent. She hasn't spoken to him since he'd forced her to watch as he tried to hang Bellamy. She didn't really have much interest in speaking to him, either. She'd learnt her lesson since Tate.

"What's wrong?" He questioned at the scowl on both their faces. "Trouble in paradise?"

"Murphy, go away."

Marley unhooked his arm from around his shoulder. "I'll see you later," she murmured, more to Bellamy than Murphy.

"Marley-" Bellamy called after her but just was already walking away and out of earshot by the time he tried to get her to stay.

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a / n : Lmao I really hope there's no mistakes because I had no chance to proofread this. I'm so so so so so sorry this took so long again! I've had next to no inspiration to write anything for two months now and I don't know why? I'm trying my best to get back into it so hopefully I won't leave you another two months!

WHEN YOU'RE READY BY SHAWN MENDES IS THEIR ANTHEM I DON'T MAKE THE RULES

Also random but if the place they're sat is outside, like it is in the show, can you even called it a mess hall?? I have no idea but whatever it is what it is, we're sticking with that because it's easier and sounds better than any alternative. Another thing, the official timeline says they've been in camp only four or five days at this point but I've stretched it to account for some of the things that happen!