Chapter 5

In the deep dark reaches of space a single, silver starship approaches a space station. The station, a hub of activity in this desolate section of space sits like some massive metal beetle waiting for prey. It has a decidedly martial appearance about it and indeed, its designers had planned for it to be a weapon of such destructive capability that whosoever commanded it could quickly become the dominate species in a galaxy filled with predators.

Alas, the masters of the station fell upon hard times after making several poor investment choices and lost the station to creditors. Those self-same creditors almost immediately lost the station in a high-stakes poker game to a being, small in stature, but big in ambition. And so it came to pass that the station was reconfigured from a weapon of mass destruction to one of the pre-eminent gambling and entertainment destinations in this part of the known galaxy.

This station, affectionately known as SinStation to its residents, is the destination of the starship Grokmar. And what of the Grokmar? Only three days prior it acquired a new crew. Unfortunately, automated systems made the choice of five humans from a rather rustic area of the planet Earth known as the Appalachian Mountains.

The mood on the ship is varied depending on which human you focus your attention on. This is partially due to the fact that the humans have, thus far, only consumed food known to them as soda and candy. (Those few xenobiologists familiar with humanity will tell you that humans can be sustained by a wide variety of foods including the aforementioned soda and candy. What they will not tell you is humans require a varied diet of plant and animal matter. This is largely due to the fact that everything known of humans is the result of a series of college pranks involving anal probes some years back.)

***

Jim Bob lay on his bed and stared up at the stars, listening to the soft chirping of crickets. The stars weren’t real, of course and neither were the sounds. They were simply a projection of what the sky should look like from Earth on a warm Appalachian night. He had specifically requested the Grokmar set up the display on the ceiling of the cabin with the accompanying sounds. It relaxed him. Helped him to think. As he watched, a shooting star flashed across his line of sight.

Nice effect!

The truth was, this was the sweetest deal of his life and Jim Bob knew it. Back home he’d spent all his time trying to mooch the next meal and seduce the next tumble in the hay. He knew his fortune lay in charm and good looks.

Never had he been in a spot where the bed and meals were guaranteed. Granted, eating candy and drinking soda was getting pretty tiring, but it sure beat the alternatives. Nope, this was a good deal all right. The only problem was Zeke. If he weren’t around, Betty Sue would be open season. The grin that came to his face was wolfish.

That girl had it all going for her. Good cook, good housekeeper and darn easy on the eyes. Too bad she married the walking lump. Oh, he knew she’d done it for the stability of the thing. Jim Bob had his chance to marry her, but he hadn’t been ready. He had too many wild oats to sow and no prospects worth talking about. Truth be told, he could still do a little sowing.

No, he’d missed his chance, sure enough. He hadn’t expected her to be so loyal to a man she didn’t love. That was a problem. Maybe if he got Zeke out of the picture?

But how? The man was stupid and slow and clueless about pretty much everything. But he doted on Betty Sue. Gave her everything she ever asked for and demanded little. And he was tough. Jim Bob remembered the time a bear attacked Zeke.

Poor creature never knew what hit it. The bear was mighty fine eating though.

Nope, it would need some thinking for certain. Jim Bob continued watching the stars until he drifted off to sleep.

***

Betty Sue was tired of being stuck in her cabin. She thought about turning on the entertainment screen, but more than two days of watching had left her bored and restless. It had been wonderful having such a comfortable cabin to relax in but she missed cooking and cleaning.

She chuckled to herself at that thought. Only three days ago…she shook her head, had it been that recent? Only three days ago she had done the work because no one else would. It passed the time but she hadn’t really taken any joy in it. Did she really miss it?

“Grokmar, how much longer until we reach the whatchacallit?”

The ship sighed. “As I told you less than ten tics ago, not to mention ten tics before that, we will arrive at the space station in approximately two hours. Once we are there, I will be forced to spend some hours communicating with the station’s port authority to obtain the proper authorizations to dock and acquire the supplies we need.”

“And what is it again? You know, the thing we’re going to?”

“The space station is a self-contained habitat that orbits the star Ortega. There are approximately four thousand sentients living on the station who are engaged in a variety of activities including various forms of trade and commerce.”

Betty Sue looked blankly at the wall. “Ah’m pretty sure ah told you to stop talking all highfaluting! What does all that gibberish actually mean?”

Grokmar held back another sigh. It spoke very slowly and deliberately. “The space station is like a big house with four thousand people living in it. Some of the people who live there sell stuff.”

“Well why didn’t you say so in the first place? And don’t you forget we want to go out too.” Betty Sue swung her legs over the edge of the bed and stood up with a groan. “Ah’m plumb tired of doing nothing. Ah need to get out and stretch my legs for a spell and this ship is just too small to do that properly.”

“I do not recommend that you humans leave the ship.”

“Why is that? You don’t think we’re smart enough, do you?”

“That is my primary reason,” the Grokmar admitted. “You have never seen members of other races before either. I do not want your primitive minds to be damaged by the encounters. Too much stimulation could have a negative impact on you.”

“Listen, buster! Ah’ve seen some pretty strange things in my time and ah ain’t dumb neither. We are leaving this ship and that is final!”

“I will inquire of the authorities if it will be possible for you to leave the ship.” Grokmar said.

“You make darn sure we’re allowed or ah’ll make your life miserable.”

“You are already doing an admirable job of that,” the Grokmar mumbled.

“What was that?” Betty Sue demanded.

“May I get you something to eat?” Grokmar asked, trying to change the subject.

“Hmm.” Betty Sue glared at the video screen for a moment. “Might as well eat something. Ah’m a little hungry and ah’ve got some time to kill.”

“I will have food and drink ready for you when you arrive in the galley.”

“Ah’d like the red and blue cubes today. Oh and the green drink.”

“As you wish.”

Betty Sue could almost hear a bow in the ship’s voice. She exited her cabin and walked the short distance to the galley, absently noting the privacy light on at Zeke’s cabin. Privacy light? Zeke didn’t even know what privacy was.

“Grakfloor, did you put the light on for Zeke?”

Grokmar sighed again. “I did not and for the 334th time, my name is Grokmar. I know you know it because you have used it before. Zeke turned the light on himself after I explained to him what it was for.”

Betty Sue tried to think whether she had seen Zeke in the past two days and realized with surprise that she hadn’t. It wasn’t like Zeke to keep to himself, especially when he was around her. “Hey Ship, has Zeke been out of his cabin in the past two days at all.”

“No. He has also refused all my offers of sustenance.”

“What’s he been doing?”

“Very little. In the past thirty hours he has simply laid in his bed. I do not believe he has even been sleeping. His breathing patterns and pulse rate have remained the same as when he was awake.”

Betty Sue nodded to herself. She had suspected that the Grokmar knew everything they did. It answered wherever and whenever she spoke to it. It always knew what she or the others were doing so it only made sense that it watched them. She filed the information away for later.

“Ah’d better go and see what’s going on with Zeke. Hold my dinner for now.” She turned and walked back down the corridor to Zeke’s room.

“Yes, Betty Sue.” The Grokmar said, its voice following her down the corridor.

Betty Sue stopped in front of Zeke’s room and knocked on the door. “Zeke. You in there?” She waited a few moments before banging on the door again. “Zeke! You come out here right now!”

“What do you want?” Zeke’s voice came out of the wall next to the door.

“Ah want you to come out here.”

“Ah don’t wanna.”

“Zeke, you big oaf, get out here right now! Don’t make me tell you again.”

“No!”

Betty Sue blinked in astonishment and pounded on the door for several more minutes, screaming out Zeke’s name, offering threats and bribes in alternating sentences. Zeke ignored her the entire time.

By the time she was ready to give up, Jim Bob, Carol Anne and even Bobby John were poking their heads out of their rooms to stare curiously down the corridor at Betty Sue.

“What are y’all looking at?” Betty Sue demanded.

Bobby John’s head disappeared back into his room. Carol Anne sniffed and returned to her room as well. Only Jim Bob continued to watch her, a leer on his face.

“Hey Betty Sue. What ya all doing?” He stepped out of his room and sauntered down the hall towards Betty Sue, a toothy smile plastered to his face. He reached for her. “Come on Betty Sue. You can tell me.” 

She slapped his hands away. “Do you know what’s wrong with Zeke? He’s never ignored me before.”

Jim Bob’s laugh was cruel. “Wrong? You mean besides him being dumb as a sack fulla wet squirrels?”

“Quit it, Jim Bob, this is serious! Zeke never acts like this. Ah’m worried.” She was surprised to realize it was true. She really was worried about her less-than-ideal lump of a husband.

“All right. Don’t get your knickers in a knot. Do you want me to talk to the big lunkhead?”

Relief washed over Betty Sue. “Would you? You’d talk to Zeke for me?”

Jim Bob’s smile was almost genuine this time. “Honey, ah’d do anything for you.”

That sounded suspicious. Betty Sue looked at him from the corner of her eye. “Jim Bob, what are you planning?”

Jim Bob tried to look hurt. “What? Ah’m just offering to help out my buddy Zeke cause ah care.”

“Right.” Betty Sue shrugged. “Well, just find out what’s wrong with Zeke, all right?”

***

Jim Bob stood in front of Zeke’s cabin and rubbed his hands together with barely restrained glee. This was his big chance. Ever since the big oaf had stolen Betty Sue away he’d been looking for a chance to get even. To make it even better, Betty Sue had approved it. Oh yes, Zeke was going to get what was coming to him.

He spit on his right palm and slicked his hair back.⁠ (Let us pause for a moment. Now it is a commonly held belief by those of a, shall we say, more simple turn of mind, that slicked back hair makes one look more trustworthy. In point of fact it serves to make one look more like an oily weasel that should be ground into squirrel chow.) 

Jim Bob knocked on the door of Zeke’s cabin looking for all the world like the weasel that had just swallowed the Cheshire Cat.

“What do you want?”

“Hey Big Fella. I just wanted to see how you were doing. I was worried about you.” Jim Bob pinched himself to keep from laughing out loud as he spoke.

The door swished open and Zeke looked out. His black hair was a wild mess and dark circles rimmed his brown eyes. His ship suit was bunched up and rumpled. “Really? You was worried about me?”

“Sure ah was,” Jim Bob lied. “Ah haven’t seen you around the past coupla days and ah was powerful worried about you.” He stepped closer to Zeke, and put his hand on the big man’s shoulder. “You’re like a….” He cleared his throat. “.…You’re like a brother to me.”

Zeke looked confused. “Ah am?”

“Sure you are. Now what’s bothering you, Zeke?”

Zeke thought for a moment and Jim Bob thought he could almost smell smoke.

“Betty Sue don’t love me no more.”

Jim Bob was surprised by the answer. He hadn’t realized the big lump could be so perceptive. “Why do you say that, Zeke?”

“She don’t let me come into her room. She don’t come round here to see me neither. She just thinks ah’m a big moron.”

“Well Zeke, you know these rooms ain’t very big. And Betty Sue doesn’t think you’re a big moron.”

“Yes she does. Just t’other day she said, ‘Zeke, you is a big moron’.” The big man hung his head.

Jim Bob could feel his control over Zeke slipping away. “Wait a minute Zeke. Betty Sue loves you. Ah’m sure of it. But you know how women get.” As he said this, the glimmer of an idea began to form in his mind.

Now, Jim Bob was not the cleverest of men. He usually relied on charm and looks to get what he wanted. But at that very moment, a devious idea came to him. An idea that could both discredit Zeke in Betty Sue’s eyes and get Jim Bob back in her good books.

“You know, Zeke, sometimes a woman needs to know what she stands to lose before she comes around.”

Zeke’s face contorted in effort, almost like he was trying to pass a particularly large kidney stone. “What do you mean?”

Jim Bob moved closer to Zeke until their heads were almost touching. His eyes began to water from Zeke’s breath and he moved back a pace with a gasp. He turned his head and took a deep breath. “What ah mean is, when we get to this space station thingy, you and me is going out on the town. We might just find ourselves a couple willing gals to spend time with. That’ll make Betty Sue jealous and she’ll come a running back to you.”

“Ah don’t know.” Zeke tried to look hopeful. It was painful to watch. “Do you think it would work?”

“Trust me,” Jim Bob said, oil practically dripping from his words and puddling at his feet. “When she hears you’re with another woman, she’ll come a running!” Just not to take you back, he added silently.

***

Betty Sue was waiting in the galley when Jim Bob wandered in. “Well? What’s wrong with Zeke?”

“He’s just bored. Nowhere to go. No real food. Nothing to hunt. No shine. Them things all got him feeling mighty blue.”

“Is that all? That big fool had me worried that something was wrong and he just wants to get out hunting and drinking?” She stood up. “Ah’m going to go give him a piece of my mind!”

Jim Bob stopped her. “Don’t go getting all riled up. Ah’ve already talked to him and when we get to this space thingy ah’m going to take him out for a night on the town.”

“You and Zeke are going out on the town? Now ah’ve heard everything.”

“It’s true. Cross my heart.” Jim Bob sketched a cross over his chest.

Betty Sue stared at Jim Bob for a few more moments. “All right, if you say so.” She slipped past Jim Bob. “Ah’m just gonna go have a nap until we get to wherever the heck we’re going.”

Jim Bob watched her go, a wicked smile forming on his lips as he watched her sashay down the hall.