fluff for all ur fluff needs, extra 1 outta 2 or 3 depending on my mood, this is 4 u thanh u fckn hoe, i love you

taehyung's voice sounds all kinds of exasperated when he exclaims, hands thrown up in defeat, "the fuck are you doing?"

his boyfriend's eyes bore into his as he takes a box of special k from the shelf, maintaining eye contact as he slowly drops it into their cart with this tiny hint of a smirk gracing his lips, like the fucking asshole he is.

"i have no idea what you're talking about."

the elder all but scoffs, carding his fingers through his now red hair– jimin having successfully convinced him that the color has everyone kissing the floor you step on but earns him comparisons to the little mermaid instead of the actual, infatuated compliments he always yearns for. he snatches the box of fruit loops jeongguk had retrieved to the shelf and throws it back into the shopping cart, almost missing it by a mere inch.

"did i fucking stutter?", he sneers but the way his eyes crinkle at the corners with a suppressed smile gives away how amused he is, and reaches to grab another box of his favorite cereal just to make sure he isn't getting fooled again, holding it against his chest protectively. "you're just mad that you can't reach the fruit loops."

it's jeongguk who feigns annoyance, now, rolling his eyes even though he opts for giving up on their nth bickering session of the day– starts pushing at the cart in the direction of another isle. "or maybe i'm just concerned for your health", he explains, arching an eyebrow at taehyung, "y'know, that could be a possibility too. 'm not insecure about my height."

"you are", the red-haired man retorts, jabbing an accusing finger into jeongguk's chest and– fine, maybe it wasn't that good of an idea, since he's all muscle-y and feels like a fucking rock. a hyperbole, possibly, but he'll stand his ground to the grave. "you're so bitter about your height, an angry, bitter little fucker."

jeongguk's face scrunches up in something akin to disgust, "you eat out with that mouth?"

"only you", taehyung wiggles his eyebrows and licks his lips, his attempt at looking mildly seductive a major failure since it actually seems like he's having a stroke.

"that was one time–"

"but it still happened–"

"sir, would you, um, like some help?"

their necks almost snap with how fast they turn around to face whoever talked to them– this short, old lady staring at them in obvious confusion as she stands behind a counter they must've ended up by while aimlessly pacing around the supermarket.

the youngest of the three reaches to scratch at the nape of his neck, an embarrassed flush bleeding from his cheeks down his neck. "we– i want some", he nudges taehyung's side with his elbow, who bends down a little to whisper something in his ear, "sam? ouch, no need to– yeah, some ham please. yeah, good morning."

she flashes them a tight smile before proceeding to cut some ham, do her thing. jeongguk uses the time to slap the side of his boyfriend's arm as a payback from when he bit his ear before, the fair and mature thing to do, of course. justice at its finest.

they retrieve the small packaging of sliced pork and try to get out of the lady's sight, too embarrassed to look her in the eye again, at least on jeongguk's side.

"we need more sweets", taehyung points out, tapping his index and middle fingers to his lips in thought. "there aren't enough kitkats and marshmallows here, how do you expect me to function during midterms?"

"your fast metabolism can't save you forever, tae", this sentence is practiced and bordering robotic as it leaves his mouth, this kid will die in his thirties tops, the younger's quite sure of that.

there's a bounce to taehyung's step when he picks up a bag of marshmallows and drops it into their. singsongs, "y to the o to the l-o, jeongguk, learn with those musicallys."

jeongguk doesn't consider himself weak, really– but his inner strength isn't able to keep him from stopping by the chocolate isle though, where a grin so endearing and bright spreads across taehyung's face as he scans over the variety of diabetes inducing candy for sale and presses a kiss to the other's cheek in appreciation.

(not weak in the slightest, since he barely even melts at his boyfriend's gesture. like, at all.)

the redhead holds a kitkat bar up to the light, analyzing its packaging with furrowed eyebrows. before jeongguk's able to point out exactly how insane he looks as he does so, he opens his mouth to speak.

"did you know–"

"we're in public, tae", the younger gestures for him to lower his voice because god dammit if he isn't going deaf prematurely, even more so than his boyfriend's demise.

"fine", he huffs out and folds his arms over his chest. "okay, but i'll have you know kitkats used to have a dash", pokes at the minimal space between the two words, "here, like, i'm sure they did."

not again. "we're in public", jeongguk repeats.

"i'm one hundred percent sure! just like that monopoly dude's monocle, y'know, it was the–"

"we aren't discussing the mandela effect again, save that for later and your brain dead twitter followers."

"why do i even have a boyfriend if he doesn't listen to my conspiracy theories?"

"to suck your dick since no one else will with that attitude."

(okay fine, maybe he was the loud one right now. the mom that's just passed by is staring in their direction with a disapproving look on her face and he has to fight the urge to shout, just tell your son that's what bros do! but the thing is, they've used that excuse for too long. way too fucking long.)

taehyung takes advantage of the other's mortification to dump more chocolate bars into the shopping cart, masking his actions by whistling the melody of– surprise, surprise– whistle, by blackpink. jeongguk notices but he's only human, will split the bill for those anyway. has to.

"you have a fair point there, mister", he agrees with a nod, pulling at the cart in time with jeongguk's pushing, "but instead of listing the thousands of people who have already offered me the succ, let's just pay for those."

that has jeongguk's walking coming to a halt, "but we haven't even picked my vegetables."

"as if we need those, jeongguk-ah", taehyung rolls his eyes, "fuck your healthy, green ass smoothies and let's pay, then you'll buy me an ice cream."

"i didn't–"

"ah, ah, ah. good boys don't talk back."

"you fucking–", the younger hisses through gritted teeth but is cut off by no one other than his boyfriend himself (he's disappointed but again, not surprised), who steals the cart from him and runs off into the distance.

"catch me if you can, loser!"

✲

"i can't believe we spent almost a hundred thousand won in the market", jeongguk grumbles as he carries the shopping bags to taehyung's car, at least five in each hand because since i'm driving you carry those, can't exert my beauty– also your arms look really good like that, holy fuck–

"at least i waited for long enough for you to grab your healthy shit, didn't i?", the redhead opens the driver's door and takes a seat, starting the engines as jeongguk tosses what they purchased onto the back seat.  

once he has fastened his seat belt, taehyung looks at him and continues, all coy expression on his features and fluttering eyelashes. "you could always be a gent and pay it all since i need those but am broke as fuck."

jeongguk rolls his eyes in annoyance for the umpteenth time this day but places a hand on his boyfriend's thigh nonetheless, giving it a squeeze which is either kind of a warning or sort of an affectionate gesture. when it comes to taehyung, it's usually a little bit of both.

"should've thought about that better before getting a month's worth supply of bullshit, loser. we're not in the apocalypse."

taehyung steps on the gas then accelerates, the vehicle making this loud, grumbling noise before it starts moving.

"keyword is yet, jeon. who knows what's gonna happen tomorrow?", he's driving now and it's fast and the turns he does are so careless it only makes jeongguk grip onto the door's handle tighten, so vice-like his knuckles are white. even considers pulling out his phone and writing a testimony to leave all his belongings for yoongi– would definitely do it if his hands weren't shaking like a leaf.

"uh, can you maybe perhaps slow down?"

"live fast die young, my dude!"

and with that he reaches for the radio and blindly turns it on, some trap nation remix blasting through the speakers and promptly muffle jeongguk's prayers. taehyung's definitely getting a ticket or two after this car ride but jeongguk's not paying for those this time–he's not weak in the slightest.

it only takes them a couple more minutes to arrive at taehyung's dorm, where jeongguk proceeds complaining about how much he's been spending since they started dating from the moment he steps out of the car till they're in the confines of the elder's dirty apartment, taehyung just going all, you know i'll pay you back as soon as i get a job! don't be a meanie!

their routine as a couple might be a little out of the norm regarding endless, silly arguments and financial problems that will have both cancelling their much needed premium services on spotify in no time– but when taehyung helps him put away what they bought and sits on the counter so jeongguk can fit perfectly between his legs like the missing piece of a puzzle and kiss the breath out of him, the latter knows this is the kind of life he'd be more than okay with living for as long as he can.

*✲ﾟ*

PLS i am aware that tae basically wishes for death in this but tis for comedy let him liv e

im rly proud of this hope yall liked

check out my new story tenor if u want its a chansoo this website doenst have enough of my babies :((

as always u can find m on twit @/ksoobf hope ure havin a great day hunny!!