Generation X | 20

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Chapter Song: Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol

Sana's P.O.V

“Where d'you think she is right now?,” I asked Dasttan.

It's already 12 a.m and she's nowhere to be found. I can't sleep knowing that she is not here.

Nag-isip naman si Dasttan.

“Hmmm... everyone's not here so maybe, kasama nila si  Moza,” he concluded.

Napatango ako. That makes sense since rumored boyfriend ni Moza si Johnny.

“It's not a good idea for Moza to be around with those guys,” ani ni Dasttan. He's being overprotective with her again but I understand. May point si Dasttan. Hindi pa namin kilala ng lubusan ang mga taong yun.

Pareho naman kaming napatingin ni Dasttan nang bumukas ang pintuan at lumabas si Yugen.

“I know where she is,”

***

And so, mukhang tatakas kaming tatlo. Tahimik kami dahil alam kong hindi maganda ang ideyang to. Going outside the academy and us being together.

This is surely awkward kapag nakita to ni Moza.

What should I do.

Kinakabahan ako kapag naiisip kong magkikita si Moza at Yugen tapos kasama nya ako.

Ugh... this is frustrating!!

“My car is still outside the academy,” pahayag ni Dasttan habang inaakyat namin ang mataas na pader ng academy.

“Sana grab my hand,” alok ni Dasttan na hindi ko inawayan.

We were succesful to sneak out in the academy na walang nakapansin.

“What now?,” tanong ni Dasttan kay Yugen.

“She's at the bar,” sagot naman ni Yugen tapos may inabot kay Dasttan.

Isang brochure.

“Well probably she's getting wasted again, geez,” pahayag ni Dasttan habang binabasa yung laman ng brochure.

“We need to go and find her,” napunta ang tingin ko kay Yugen dahil sya ang nagsabi nun.

He looked at me too.

***

Moza's P.O.V

Tinanggap ko yung microphone saka tumayo.

Hindi ko alam kung magpapasalamat ba ako kay Moon dahil sa ginawa nya. I was saved to give Johnny a response.

“Oh. It's chasing cars, can you sing it?,” tanong ni Weno.

Ugh. Yeah.

So I nodded.

They started cheering for me though.

Pakiramdam ko sober ulit ako.

Ugh. Okay. Just sing it Moz.

Nagsisimula na, so I took a deep breath.

"We'll do it all
Everything
On our own
We don't need
Anything
Or anyone
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?"

"I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel
Those three words
Are said too much
They're not enough
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life"

Pinasadahan ko sila ng tingin. They are all looking at me and I can't seem to know what their expressions mean.

I just closed my eyes after that. I'll just act that I'm drunk.

"Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads
I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?"

I just hate this song.

But the fact that I'm singing it right now is making me stupid.

"Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life
All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see
I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?"

When the song ended ay tumahimik din ang lahat. Minulat ko ang mga mata ko only to find out that it wasn't because of me kaya tumahimik ang buong bar. It's because of the entruders.

“Let's go home,” ani ni Dasttan.

Lumapit sya sakin at hinila ako making me to drop the microphone.

“Hey!,”

Napatigil si Dasttan saka nilingon si Johnny. It was him who said that.

“I'm taking her back,” matigas ang tono ng boses ni Dasttan. Damn. He's mad.

“Sasama nako Johnny,” sabi ko.

Dasttan's fuming mad so I need to go with him.

“Happy birthday again Moon, it was a nice party,” sabi ko at hinila si Dasttan palabas.

I don't want to cause another drama.

Nagdire-diretso ako papunta sa sasakyan ni Dasttan.

“Moza,”

Napatigil ako.

Act normal Moza.

Or act drunk.

“For goodness sake Moza! Sabihin mo naman sakin kung saan ka pupunta! We're worried about you!,”

Tumagos ang tingin ko sa likuran ni Dasttan.

'We are' anong we are.

Huh.

“Mamaya mo na ako pagalitan Dasttan. May mga taong naghihintay sa likod mo,” napalingon sya dahil sa sinabi ko.

“Bumalik na tayo. I'm sleepy,” binuksan ko ang pintuan ng sasakyan at pumasok na.

Humilig ako at maya-maya ay nagsipasok na sila sa sasakyan.

Ramdam ko ang tingin ni Dasttan sakin but I didn't dare to look at him.

This is not a good scene! Four of us being in this small space is killing me.

I just closed my eyes.

Calm down Moza.

Just because Yugen is in the backseat with Sana ay dapat ka ng kabahan.

Remember: You don't know him. He's just a stranger.

“Put on your seatbelt,” rinig kong saad ni Dasttan pero hindi ako gumalaw.

“Hindi ko talaga alam ang gagawin ko sayo,” ramdam ko ang pagkabit ni Dasttan ng seatbelt sakin.

I stay my eyes shut. Umandar naman na sawakas ang  sasakyan.

Geez.

I want to sleep and forget this moment!

“Is she always like this?,”

Napamulat ako.

Two fucking years, I didn't hear that voice.

“Next time don't bring any strangers Dasttan,”

Nilingon ko ang dalawa sa likod.

And I met his gaze.

“I am not your business so stay away from me,”

Nilipat ko kay Sana ang tingin ko.

“Who dyou think you are?,”

“What dyou think you are doing,”

Tiningnan ko si Yugen.

His eyes are still the same.

Cold and gray.

“Does it satisfy you seeing me this way?,”

Naramdaman ko ang paghawak ni Dasttan sa balikat ko.

“No Dasttan. I want to know what they are doing here,”

Kahit anong pigil ko. Lumalabas yung galit ko.

“Stop acting that you care for me, because I know you never,”

“Stop fooling me. And I will only ask you this once. Please leave my life alone,”

Naupo ako ng maayos. Biting my lips so that I won't cry but who am I kidding. I can't cry anymore kahit gaano ko pa kagustong gawin yun ngayon!

“You're both hilarous, help me out,”

Muli akong humilig.

“And for the record, I wasn't the first one who pushed people away, I hope you still remember it well,” diin ko.

Muli kong pinikit ang mga mata ko.

I hate how weak I am inside.

****
-Jareditsme