Having a pet is like listening to music.  You don't have to speak the same language to find joy in each other's company.   -Me

Me: *Bringing Ginger back to his outdoor run when the weather cools down again somewhat*

Me: *Lifts the top of the cage and puts my boy in, then closes it*

The wild rabbit: *Leaps out from behind the run*  HELLOOOO, HUMAN!!!  I HATH MISSED YOU!!!  *Happily hops up to me*

Me: Did you seriously just try to..  Jumpscare me?

Rabbit: *Casually grooming, ignoring my question*

Me: You know that the cat will start lurking around here soon, right?  It's evening-

Rabbit: *Very calmly waltzes into the greenhouse*

Me: ........................................

Me: *Closes greenhouse door*

Me: MOOOOM!!!  BRO!  YOU MIGHT WANT TO COME OUT HERE AND TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.

Rabbit: *Patiently sitting in the greenhouse*

Mom: What is it?

Bro: *Takes one look and starts laughing*

Me: Heh!  We have a visitor.  *Dramatically sweeps door open*

Rabbit: *Blinks*  Hello, humans that I also like, just not quite as much as the treat-laden one.

Mom: ..Okay, that's just..  No.

Rabbit: *Inspects the lettuce and cabbage, but very cleverly doesn't try to eat it while mom's watching*

Me: See?!!  She's so considerate.

Mom: *Desperately trying not to have a squee moment*

Mom: It's got to get out of there.  Mat, you do it.

Bro: *Is about to wrangle it*

Rabbit: Haha, nope!  *Hops out again*

Rabbit: *Turns to look at us*

Me: Did she wink at us?  I'm pretty sure I saw her wink.

Me: *Tries to take dad's work stuff to the kitchen for their ritual cleansing*

Dad: *S T A R E*

Dad: *Wordlessly and gently pulls his coffee mug back towards himself*

Dad: *Slow S I I I I P*

Dad: *Stares at me and sips, wide-eyed*

Mom: Give me the clicky thingy, please.

Bro: The-  Clicky thingy..?

Me: *Hands her the TV remote*  

Mom: Thank you.  I can never remember the blasted things' name.

Me: *Starts listing names*  Remote control, selector..  *Notices mom giving me the LOOK*  ..Clicky thingy...

Help.  Dad wants us to go to the Mandarin restaurant.

I'm too cheap to go there.  😂

Mom: BuT tHeY hAvE fIsH, aNd AlL sOrTs Of SeAfOoD tHeRe.

Me: ..............................

Me: I'm listening.  😺

Also me: But it's also too expensive to eat out, so if you 'see food', don't eat it.

The boys: *Dead*

Update: We ended up getting subs for the family tonight.  It's literally costs less than a fourth of what we would've spent at the other restaurant.

.......................................

Something tells me that I'd be a cheap date...  🙄

Nobody:

Me: *Calmly going around doing housework with my rabbit balancing on my shoulder*

Why most of my rabbits I've had in my life decide to go full on parrot mode, I have no idea.

Maybe it's because they like to survey their domain and assert dominance, Idk.

Maybe it's because I'm short enough that they feel relatively safe there.  😭😭😭

Note for my mother: If you see me lying flat, face first on the floor in a very awkward and painful-looking position somewhere in this house, in a random corner of a random room in the dark, I'm not dead.  I'm not ill.  I'm probably fine.  It's just hot, and I'm tired, and I'M A FREAKING CAT THING, SO JUST LET ME REST IN PEACE, OKAY?!!

-Signed, that creature that lurks in the night and does too much housework

Just driving along with my parents to pick up my bro from his job, and this dude in the car beside us was legit staring at my legs with this extremely approving L O O K.

Me: *Glares back at him aggressively, because I'm me*

Stay away from me, you lustful creature.  I know full well want you want.  You won't get it from ME.  🙄

It's HOT, and I can't wear ankle-length stuff ALL the time.  (Mainly because my mother wouldn't stop telling me that 'I must be boiling in that thing', but I digress.)

I WASN'T EVEN EXPOSED, MY LEG JUST ACCIDENTALLY SHOWED A LITTLE!!!  I DRESS PROPERLY, I COVER MYSELF, BUT NOOOOOOOO!!!  NOTHING WILL EVER BE GOOD ENOUGH TO DETER THESE PEOPLE!!!  HIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!

Me and my bro: *Watching random videos on his laptop in his room*

The door to my grandfather's old room that's right beside us: BANGBANGBANGBANGBANG!!!  SHAKESHAKESHAKE!!!  *More violent shaking*  BANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBAAAA-

Me: *Suddenly gets up and props the door open with a chair and several assorted heavy boxes*

Bro and I: *Uneasily glance at each other*

Me: *Triumphantly glaring into the other room*

Me: *Mentally*  HA!!!  Try to annoy us NOW, grandad!!!

Me: *To bro*  Ehehehehehe!  Odd little breeze this afternoon, isn't there?  😩

Bro: Uhhh...  Okay.  *Continues to watch his videos*

Me: *Mouthing 'I win' at the other room*

I can imagine this happening when they were (really!) young.  👇

Wu: I made tea.
Garmadon: I don't want tea.
Wu: I did not make tea for you. This is my tea.
Garmadon: Then why are you telling me?
Wu: It is a conversation starter.
Garmadon: That's a lousy conversation starter.
Wu: Oh, is it? We are conversing. Checkmate.