The fury hidden deep makes fun of me,
It drives me crazy and I can't seem to survive it,
It leaves me breathless and thinks its funny,
But I guess hell's always bent on making me suffer though.

It all feels useless,
But I got with it,
It doesn't feel like 2022,
But will I live in it?

I try to let go,
But the guilt holds me in a hug,
Try to be unemotional,
Cause it kills everyone when I let it out.

I'm weak and it doesn't make sense,
I've been through storms, survived them,
I don't want anyone to see but then?
I'll just play some dark pretend.

I'll say I'm confident,
Let go of my lense,
I'll say I'm mean and bad,
But then remove the masks and reveal nothing like that underneath.

I wanted to be what everyone wanted,
Perfect shimmer, a shining star,
Then I fucked it up, and now I can't pity it,
I can't feel sorry, cause I deserve it.

Maybe I'm doing too much,
Maybe nothing's really wrong,
Maybe I am inconsiderate,
I'll satisfy the thoughts of pity.

I'll try to get better,
It'll be hard not to shiver,
Took me years to be this open,
But now, I feel like closing up.