☆Glory☆

Dear Helianthus,

I was surprised to see that your name meant. What's the meaning behind it?

I was rejected, but turning back to your last email, I think I'll be okay. I'm going to move on. Although rejection really is painful, it also leaves you free. Kind of. But yeah, it mostly hurts. At first, I really hated the person that rejected me, but I think I was being a little stupid. It's not their fault. Then I thought that maybe I could match their expectations-- they have a very particular type of who they want to date-- but I realized that I didn't want to change myself for someone. I'm kind of done with that. I do want to keep our friendship, and they did too. So we're working on that, although it is a little hard.

I think I'm going to focus on myself for a little while. I see that you were avoiding my statement than I could help you with your case. Of course, I don't want to pressure you into it.

I still can't shake off the thought that I do know you in real life.

Question 1: have you ever rejected someone, and how do you treat them afterwards? And what, if you did, are your reasons for rejecting a person?

Question 2: Do you think I can stay friends with the boy that rejected me? I really want to hear your opinion on the matter.

Thank you so much for exchanging emails with me. I'm not the sentimental type, but they always are a great help.

-Daffodil

☆

"Glory, come on! Write your name, for God's sake!" Tsunami's grinning. "WRITE IT!"

I roll my eyes, but I obediently write my name on the clipboard. Sunny laughs as Tsunami throws her arms in the air. That crazy girl with blue eyes. I love her.

Deathbringer's not there. He has never been there lately. The only time I see him is lunch, and even then we won't talk. He tried to talk to me a couple times, but it was awkward.

"Who else has signed up for it?" Sunny looks at the clipboard with squinting eyes. "Only one. Scarlet-- their handwriting is so messy-- Sky, I think?" Then all of us look at each other with disbelief. "Oh. Scarlet-- the Scarlet."

"Yes, it's me." Scarlet Sky, her arm wrapped around Peril, flashes us a smile. Her poorly dyed red hair-- so poorly done that it's actually a shade of orange-- and deep, slithering voice. Her eyes shine everywhere she goes, so much so that it makes people look at it again. Challenging yellow, shining even more surrounded by the dark mascara and eyeliner. She smirks. "Hi, Glory."

"Yes, ignore everyone else that is beside Glory," Tsunami mutters darkly. To make a point, she replies lightly, "Hi, Peril!"

Everyone knows who Scarlet Sky is. I learned about her the first day of school. A year older, with her skirt shortened so badly that it's a wonder I can't see her butt when she walks. She's famous for her stepfather, Chameleon, who apparently runs a very big company. Which makes her act like she's better than everyone else.

"God, you get prettier as time passes," Scarlet gushes, reaching out to touch my hair. I squirm uncomfortably. "And Sunny, I swear you're so small and thrilling that I actually want to stuff you with cotton and hang you on my bedroom wall. Burn, wouldn't that be thrilling?"

Burn, the captain of the volleyball team, nods grimly. Her blonde hair is tied back, and she is wearing her team jersey. She looks at Sunny like she actually wants to stuff her with cotton. "Yes."

Sunny forcibly smiles, but I can tell Scarlet's gang is scaring her. "Um. Thanks?"

"You would look way better if you allowed me to put makeup on you," Scarlet says with a haughty grin. "Look at me. Don't I look dashing?" As if to make a point, she wiggles her fingers-- they are decorated with rings.

"No, thank you," I reply automatically.

"Oh, I'm sorry." Scarlet looks down at me, her eyes flashing like she's looking at a prey, not a person. Scarlet Sky really scares me. "Is it bad for your cancer thing?"

Another thing about Scarlet: she turns everything in to freaking cancer. I don't reply, and Tsunami rolls her eyes. "I think we have to get to cla--"

"Peril, who do you think is prettier, me or Glory?" Scarlet doesn't even look at Tsunami, making her bristle.

"Um. You, I think." Peril looks at me apologetically. "Did you get new shoes, Scarlet?"

"Yes, I did, Chameleon got it for me." Peril flinches at the world Chameleon. Scarlet looks at me triumphantly, a sneer on her face. I sometimes worry about her mental health. "He knows what it's like to have a beautiful stepdaughter. Because one of his accidents-- they weren't really as good as me. That's what he says, anyway." Scarlet is now staring at Peril, enjoying the look of discomfort she sees on her face. I wonder why Scarlet's bragging would make her wince.

"You have a really bad obsession that you have to be the prettiest in the room." Burn looks annoyed, and she says the words everyone wants to say. I kind of begin to see her in a new light. "Let's go, we'll be late for class."

"Burn, you wouldn't know," Scarlet remarks jokingly. Although with her, it actually might not be a joke. "Nobody wants ugly things. Ugly things get broken and abandoned. Don't you agree, Peril?"

"Yeah," she mutters in return. Peril's blue eyes are glassy. "Of course."

Scarlet seems satisfied, and she waves to us. "Bye, we'll be going now."

Nobody says the exact words, but I'm pretty sure from the looks on Sunny and Tsunami's faces that we're all thinking the same thing: Thank God.

☆

"As God is my witness," I'm clenching my fists, holding up the carrot in my hands. "As God is my witness they're are not going to lick me." I'm breathless. "I'm going to live through this and when its all over, I'll never be hungry again. No, nor any of my folk." Emphasis on the next line. "If I have to lie, steal, cheat, or kill, as God is my witness I'll never be hungry again!"

Moon and Tsunami clap. "Bravo, Glory."

"Should I try again?"

Moon shakes her head, a thoughtful look on her face. "No. Hear me out. You know what would be good?"

"What, Moon?" Acting is way harder than I expected. I toss the carrot to Moon, who obediently sets it down the counter as she talks.

"You should ask Jambu for advice, instead of a housekeeper's daughter. I mean, your-- his mom is an actor. He probably knows more."

That's actually a good idea. But then, there may be really bad consequences. "But he only comes at weekends, and I'm kind of scared that he'll tell the-- woman-- if I ask for advice. Or worse, his weird dad."

"That's true." Moon frowns. "Or Deathbringer. I saw last time that he was helping Tsunami. Isn't he a good teacher, Tsunami?"

Tsunami shudders. "A good teacher? Nope. Add haughtiness and small acting skills and the word 'again'. That explains everything about him."

"He's busy," I say quickly. "And yeah, he's a horrible teacher."

Maybe rejection lasts longer than I thought. It can be a throb whenever he passes, but it also can be fear to look into his eyes because I might see the Look again. It can be stuttering when he asks me something, and always worrying that what I do might make him uncomfortable.

"Well then. Let's do it again. Try to put more emotion, I guess? It doesn't seem too real." Moon's honesty stings sometimes, but it's what I need now. "We should totally get you a brown wig for the job, though. Maybe wearing a dress will-"

"NOPE," I say loudly. And we practice again and again. I'm actually happy while doing it.

Acting always seemed distant, something that reminded me of my mother. Maybe I was even jealous of it in a sense- it was the thing that made mother abandon me, after all. The fame and acting and money. I would look at her on TV, where she shined, and realize over and over again that she seemed happy without me, when I was miserable without her. Always weighed down by a feeling of not being enough, of never shining enough.

But I'm going to shine, just like she does. I'm going to look at Kestrel straight in the eye and offer her something she can't refuse.

Scarlett O'Hara. Maybe she means more to me than I ever realized.