I Bought My new Toy 
What Do you Guys Think? :3

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Location: Unknown Small Town

Frex: Life as a Bandit Sucks..

Frex were only Left alive, The rest were killed by monsters of the forest, Hes now living with this people in town away from the Warzone. He wears a normal clothes but his face and arms are 100% covered with bandages like a mummy.

Frex was now only guardian of this town. A Rumbling sound coming from the distance, a Red Mech Machine and a Person was riding on its shoulder. 

RED and BLU Stop The Moment that guy Halt us.

Frex: Halt! I Am not letting you pass. You will end your destructive ways, here and now👇

RED's Head hatch opened. BLU Pulls out The Beans and starts eating it.

BLU: why we stop?

RED: This No Matic Do gutter won't move.

Frex: hey. Is That food!

BLU Chuckles and continue eat beans.

BLU: Hehe, This Guy just looks like Darkman.

RED: Pretty sure for an old movie reference.

2 Minutes Later and this guy won't move.

RED: *Groan* Permission to run over this asshole..

BLU: Hmm.. He would scream in agony Partner but I Don't think i could mentally handle that.

RED: *sigh*

BLU: well I guess it depends when head or legs first, right?

Frex: Hey!

RED: What? Do you Give up or you go crunchy crunchy!

Frex: I'm Not Moving!

BLU: hmm..

BLU Hop Down and stand on front of this guy name Frex.

BLU: okay look, Here.

BLU Shows a DOOM 2016 Pistol

BLU: I'm giving you my damn gun so you can shoot yourself.

Frex: Screw off, you and that piece of sh*t Thing your riding on.

RED almost got triggered.

RED: Okay.. That's it.

BLU put his own DOOM 2016 Pistol back to his weapon slot.

BLU: N-No Red.. Don't.

RED Looks at Frex.

RED: Buddy. Your Ugly.

*Music Scratch*

RED: and nobody likes you.

BLU: oh no. *Facepalm*

Frex Started Crying.

BLU: -_-

5 Minutes Later

RED: Hey Uh..

Frex: what?

RED: you can join us of the Combine Union, We Know alot of nice girls. I can hook you up.

BLU: You've seen Darkman, right? He Doesn't even Have Lips.

RED: eegh..

BLU: Look. Your Not Alone, uh..

Frex: Frex!

BLU: Frex. Right.

After That, Frex Was Recruited to the Combine Union, Which Our Mission is to Recruit people for those who live in this world, We Don't want people in this world know that they're being invaded by aliens along with Jackass Xerchon problems.

Onto The Next One.

We Encounter This Teenage Kid around 17

ID Name: Maxith

RED came on the front, he opened the head hatch and shows himself to be less intimidating due to his devil horns.

RED: hey Kid.. You Like *shows Candies* Candies and sweets?

Maxith: My Mom Never talk to assholes, sorry.

RED: *gasp*

BLU: Move Asshole I'll do the Talking! 

BLU Push RED's Mech away.

BLU: Hey Punk! You got hair on your sack?!

Maxith: huh? What do you want from me?!

BLU: Were looking for new Recruits.

Maxith: uh. for what?

BLU: Don't you wanna save yourself from world war, right? I'm sure your good friends are over there inside those houses.

Maxith: so?

RED: You wanna live in a good place?

Maxith: yeah.

RED: Do you want good foods to eat everyday?

Maxith: yeah.

RED: Then your in the right place.

Maxith: Do I have to shower with other dudes?

BLU: Yes.

Maxith: Sounds Kinda Gay..

BLU: Its only Gay if you make eye contact.

RED: and make sure you don't get a boner in there because that's the sign for ✌"I'm Available"✌

BLU: *facepalm*

Maxith and his few friends were recruited at the end.

(Timeskip)

Location: Combine HQ, Barracks

RED and BLU having some stupid conversation around the Barracks.

RED: I heard that they let you live, but shoot your d*ck off, you know, for kicks.

BLU: what?

RED: No Seriously, There all about the cock'n ball torture, That's what I heard.

BLU: I Heard you like tickling soldier's bags when they sleep.

RED: I didn't wake you up didn't I?

← To be Continued

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RED was cooking on his own food in a middle of a morning, The Sci-fi Door Opened and BLU Smelled the food.

BLU: I SMELL BREAKFAST!

RED: Indeed you do.

BLU: What'cha making?

RED Finished cooking and Hes about to place the Pan to the plate on the table.

RED: Eggs.

BLU: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?

RED: what?

BLU: We Only eat bread for Christ Sake!

RED: I thought I would try something new.

BLU: Our diet has LITERALLY has not CHANGED! like, LITERALLY, by definition.

RED: What Am I s--- I Made Eggs, I Made Bacon, I Made Sausage, What Am I Supposed to do with all this FOOD?

BLU was Holding a Plastic filled with Bread.

BLU: Simple! Throw it away. No one Should eat it.

BLU Put The Bread on the table while RED Literally standing here with no emotions.

RED: ... Why?

BLU Brought out a small knife.

BLU: Die!

BLU Toss a Knife Directly at RED's Head. RED Check the head, Chest, arms and legs, He Remains unharmed.

RED: I'm Alive.

BLU: Fine!

BLU Brought out a Super Shotgun, but turns out it wasn't a real gun.

BLU: uh..

RED: Bro Uh.... That's a.... What Happened to your shotgun?👉

BLU Inspect The Shotgun.

BLU: Good Question

RED: Aight then That makes it easier for me.

RED Pulls out a single Tracer Pistol.

RED: You know what I mea-

Its a Fake Pistol.

BLU: HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO KILL EACH OTHER!?

RED Slams The Pistol Down.

RED: THIS SUUUU-

(Time Skip)

RED was in his own Room sitting on the gaming chair, Basically pressing key buttons randomly like a madman.

BLU enter RED's Room, but its random pile of unclean trash.

BLU: What are you doing?

RED: I'm-

RED face to BLU.

RED: I'm Checking the Patch Notes.

BLU: I CAN BARELY MOVE, HURRY UP!

BLU Got out of the pile dirty laundry and trashes.

RED: on here look what he just SAID!

BLU: WHAT.

RED and BLU look at the RED's Computer about the Patch.

RED: GOD, BRO.

RED and BLU take a closer look.

[Your Actions are unforgivable]

*Window Click noise*

[As Per Patch 4.12 You Two Shall be nerfed]

RED: WHAT THE-

BLU,RED: WHY!?

System: [Removing Guns]

RED: Well, That Make Sense.

BLU: That Make sense.

[System - BLU has Been Kicked From the server]

BLU: wait.

RED: what's That even mean?

BLU: Wait WHAT!? AAAAAAAAAAAA- *poof*

Only Thing BLU Leftovers are only his Dress.

Console - Kayden(1) Name Has Changed to Kayden.

Kayden: HE'S GONE!! Oh My God It Actually Erased My Partner..

Kayden Face back at his Computer.

Kayden: Umm, I'm gonna read the rest of them.

[Kayden has Been Kicked From the server]

Kayden: No No No NO NOOOOOOOOOOO- *Poof*

Each BLU and RED's Dress are only Leftovers.