Chapter 16

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Freelancing worked like London buses. One wouldn't get anything for ages, and then--all of a sudden--three would show up at once.

My family couldn't believe that I'd signed up for this lifestyle, but I refused to live any other way if I could help it.

My freedom mattered to me. My independence.

For a week I hadn't heard from Browning & Marshall. But then Neil sent me an email with literally three large documents with a German client's bank statements and tax returns as well as some other official government paperwork.

It took me the better part of a whole day to complete them all. Thankfully, the invoice covered my half of that month's rent. Not bad for ten hours of hard work and no commute.

Whew! Another month done and dusted despite the COVID craziness.

It took me until seven in the evening to finish them. But I sent the email to Neil with a happy heart, knowing I'd met my Monday morning deadline with time to spare.

Neil: Hey, thanks! 🐧 Sorry about the short notice.

Me: No worries. I'm happy to help. Now we can enjoy our weekend. 💃🎊

Neil: Ohhh, are you sneaking your way into Sunday too? 😉

My heart thudded as a cold sweat washed over me. Oh, gosh! What are you doing? Abort! Abort!

Me: No...no! Sorry! I just meant

Me: I was thinking about Saturday with you and Sunday with Emily

Me: And I mispoke.

Me: *misspoke

Neil: I'm kidding. 😄

Neil: Not that I would mind

Me: You haven't even tried one date with me

Me: Are you sure you wanna book another? 😱

Neil: Perhaps 😄

Me: Well, if you wanna date me

Me: You have to know that I'm pretty weird. 😉

Neil: Ohhh?

Me: Just admitting that makes me weird.

Neil: Fair enough.

Neil: But then again...

Neil: What's the worst that could happen?

Me: I have no filters. (Big surprise there, I know.)

Neil: Me either.

Neil: Well, I try. And sometimes fail miserably.

Neil: I don't like playing games.

Me: Ugh, same!!! Like, just say what you think.

Me: Seriously!!!

Neil: Anything else I need to worry about? 😉

Me: So much... 😉 Nah, I just am really nerdy.

Neil: Because I've always been so cool mm-hmm

Neil: You met me in a group of accountants

Neil: At a conference

Neil: And then again on game night

Neil: And we agreed to play scrabble tomorrow

Me: Whew! Kindred spirits!

Neil: Indeed

Neil: Anything else? 🧐

My heart thudded against my ribs. I could think of a dozen things right of the bat.

How about my tendency to fixate on hobbies until I got sick of them and never wanted to touch them again?

How about my strange mood swings that didn't exactly place me on a spectrum but also weren't one hundred percent normal?

How about my weird inability to develop a sexual interest in people and when I did, at best it flickered like a wonky light bulb? And at worst disappeared altogether?

After flopping on my bed with a heavy sigh, I lay back and stared at the screen.

No filters. I don't like playing games.

We'll see about that.

Me: I can fixate on my interests if I'm really excited.

Me: Forget other possibilities exist.

Me: I can be mercurial.

Neil: All still firmly within the realm of normal, I'm afraid.

Neil: You'll have to do better than that. 😉

Call a spade a spade. He'll find out eventually anyway.

Me: Physicality doesn't matter to me as much as the mind. 😟 I hope that's okay.

Neil: Same here. More than okay.

Neil: There's no pressure to do anything.

Neil: I just want to get to know you. 🐰🐿️

Exhaling with relief, I re-read his last texts in that calm, soothing baritone of his. It had worried me a bit. Not gonna lie. Meeting online often carried the connotation of other extracurricular activities. Ones I didn't necessarily want to engage in. At least not right away.

Neil even used the rabbit emoji. So sweet! It couldn't have been a coincidence. While texting last night, I'd told him as a kid my favorite companion had been this bunny I'd slept with every night.

I neglected to admit that I still did. One revealed one's crazy town bit by bit. Not all at once.

Me: Whew!

Neil: Was that what you were worried about?

Me: Not worried per se...

Neil: You thought I would expect something?

Neil: I didn't suggest online for that reason.

Neil: If we could meet in person, I would.

Neil: I want to hike. It's just not safe right now.

Me: I'm so relieved!

Neil: I'm glad we talked it over

Neil: You can tell me whatever you're feeling 🐧

Neil: It's best to deal with things out in the open

Neil: Rather than worrying for no reason

Me: You're the first person I've felt that way with

Me: That I can be open about my feelings

Me: I hope that isn't weird

Me: Or TMI or too soon or whatever

Neil: Not at all. I'm pleased. 😊

Neil: Hey, do you know where it comes from?

Me: What?

Neil: What's the worst that could happen?

Me: Wait...it has an origin story?

Neil: Yes! Not as incredible as The Hulk, but still...

Me: Okay, now I'm curious.

Neil: You know how Dr. Pepper tastes a bit unusual right?

Me: Yeah

Neil: In the 1980s they tried to promote the prduct

Neil: *product

Neil: So they made an ad with that slogan.

Neil: With a ton of weird, unbelievable situations

Neil: Worst case scenarios and the like

Me: Really? I don't remember them.

Neil: Nah, you would have been a bit young for that.

Neil: One of the most successful campaigns.

Me: Wow! Now I gotta see this ad.

Neil: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Flh0PQ1eJ28

The You-Tube video showcased four Dr. Pepper ads from the eighties.

The first one showed a teenage boy who took a bottle out of the fridge at a grocery store, causing an avalanche of boxes and products to fall on him. When the emergency services came to rescue him, they had to cut off his pants and underwear and parade him through the streets on regional television where he became known as the 'butt-naked kid'.

Then came the signature eighties jingle with, "What's the worst that could happen?"

And that wasn't even the craziest video.

Me: OML!!!!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 What in the holy hell?

Me: I haven't laughed so hard in years.

Me: No wonder why it was successful!

Neil: right?

Neil: So when you tried (unsuccessfully) to scare me out of dating you

Neil: And thereby intrigued me more

Neil: It reminded me of it. 😁

Me: I wasn't trying to do that!

Neil: Mm-hmm 😉

Neil: Are you worried I might beat you at your favorite game

Me: Oh hellz nah I'm beating your ass

Neil: I'm sure you will

Me: Is that sarcasm?

Neil: 🐿️

Me: What does that mean?

Neil: 🐧

Me: Is that dancing penguin celebrating my victory?

Neil: Have to wait and see. 😉

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Total word count: 16,368/20,000

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