Any day that began with emailing my ex required three espressos to jump-start my brain. 

At first I'd considered showing up to get my stuff unannounced. Packing my crap and hopefully carting it away without his interference. After all, I still had keys to the old apartment. 

So screw him. 

I didn't owe him a courtesy call. Or a courtesy email. 

But was that even legal? Practical? Sensible?

Besides, it'd occurred to me The Fool might be banging his new girl on the kitchen table. Not only did I not want to witness that crazy town, but it also wasn't exactly fair to her either.

A polite heads-up would do the trick. 

___

From: Victoria Bergwald <[email protected]>
To: Thomas Bergwald <[email protected]>
Date: Saturday, 14 March 2020, 10:25
Subject: Moving Day

Thomas,

Just to inform you, I will be moving all my things out of the apartment tomorrow on March 15. We will arrive between 14:00 and 16:00. It would be good if you could stay clear until we have left. Then we can move on with our individual lives.

Thanks,

Victoria

___

It almost resembled a business transaction. Good! I didn't want to sound like a jilted ex, a friend, or a contrite lover hoping to worm her way back into his heart. If my blunt message hadn't made it clear that I wanted nothing more to do with him, I didn't know what would. 

After I'd clicked send, I received an answer ten minutes later. Considering the message wasn't in his native language and his fingers didn't exactly fly over the keyboard, The Fool must have pounced on my email quicker than a puma.

___

From: Thomas Bergwald <[email protected]>
To: Victoria Bergwald <[email protected]>
Date: Saturday, 14 March 2020, 10:37
Subject: Moving Day

Dear Toria,

Just to inform you, I have plans for that day. If you will want to move out, you will have to give me more time. I tell you when I have time, and you come then. Not before.

Regards,

Tom

___

What in the actual frack? 

So, let me get this straight: This major league asshat corners me in a freaking train station demanding me to take my stuff away? Then he balks when I dance to his fiddle?

Ugh, how typical!

Well, if one thing makes The Fool's backside squeeze tighter than a nun's scowl, it's money. Hit him where it hurts. 

___

From: Victoria Bergwald <[email protected]>
To: Thomas Bergwald <[email protected]>
Date: Saturday, 14 March 2020, 10:40
Subject: Moving Day

Either you accept my terms, or you can dispose of my things at your cost. And I honestly don't give a flying rat-ass fuck what you do with it. So what's it gonna be? Huh?

I'll be there tomorrow with bells and fucking whistles or fuuuuuuuck you. 

Deal with it. 

___

Okay, not my finest moment perhaps. But I was so flipping done with his bullcrap. 

___

From: Thomas Bergwald <[email protected]>
To: Victoria Bergwald <[email protected]>
Date: Saturday, 14 March 2020, 10:58
Subject: Moving Day

Dear Toria,

Well I see your new man has taught you many new words. Congratulation! Perhaps I can move my schedule to make it work. But what is this we? You get your things. No one else. Understood?

Tom

___

From: Victoria Bergwald <[email protected]>
To: Thomas Bergwald <[email protected]>
Date: Saturday, 14 March 2020, 11:05
Subject: Moving Day

Oh, right. Because with my back injury, it's a great idea for me to carry all the stuff myself. Let's NOT do that. I will bring people to help me, and you will accept it. 

Or as I say, you can carry the cost. Your choice. 

___

God! The Fool was so freaking infuriating! Why couldn't he accept that we both wanted me to move? Why wouldn't he simply let me get on with it?

___

From: Thomas Bergwald <[email protected]>
To: Victoria Bergwald <[email protected]>
Date: Saturday, 14 March 2020, 11:20
Subject: Moving Day

Dear Toria,

I help you with the packing. I am your husband. Still. According to the papers, even if you do not like that fact. You will not let strange men into my house. You pack. I carry the boxes. 

If you do not like it, then pay me to dispose of your things.

Tom

___

I was half-tempted to pay him the money and spare myself the trouble. Hell, I could buy new clothes and books. Nothing was worth this aggravation. 

If only I'd thought of that tactic earlier, I might have coerced him into helping me. 

No, that was crazy. I didn't want his help. And I didn't want to be left alone with him either.

___

From: Victoria Bergwald <[email protected]>
To: Thomas Bergwald <[email protected]>
Date: Saturday, 14 March 2020, 11:34
Subject: Moving Day

You know I don't drive. Emily's friends will come and wait outside while I bring the stuff down. That will make everyone happy. All right?

___

From: Thomas Bergwald <[email protected]>
To: Victoria Bergwald <[email protected]>
Date: Saturday, 14 March 2020, 11:59
Subject: Moving Day

I help. You pack. Do not be late.

___

Honestly, screw this guy and his so-called negotiation tactics.

Meanwhile poor Neil was waiting for my morning texts in vain. My phone had pinged several times, but I didn't want to wind him up by being curt while I was wearing my 'Thomas hat'.

Neil: morning Vee 

Neil: I enjoyed our evening 

Neil: you must have been tired

Neil: after I read two pages you were dreaming peacefully. 😇

Neil: Are you all right?

Neil: More ex trouble?

My heart gave me a pang of guilt. Here Neil wanted to enjoy normal dating with a normal person, and I was inundating him with all my problems. Guys didn't want to have to deal with this crap, did they? 

Me: A bit.

Me: Moving day tomorrow

Me: It's annoying. No biggie.

Me: Give me a minute.

Neil: Take your time. 😊

Neil: Can I help at all?

Me: Nah. Don't want to bother you with my drama.

Neil: I'm happy to help if I can

Me: Ugh, can I get your opinion?

Me: I mean, this probably breaks every rulebook

Me: Asking you about my ex

Me: I feel bad.

Neil: Don't feel bad. Go ahead.

Neil: If I can help, I will.

Me: Uh...well my ex is giving me a hard time

Me: And I don't know what I'm doing wrong?!

Me: I tried to be professional?

Me: Then demanding?

Me: Then conciliatory?

Me: Nothing works.

Neil: Don't engage.

Me: Well, I have to. 

Me: He needs to know when I'm coming

Me: To get my stuff, you know?

Neil: True.

Neil: But don't engage with the rest of it.

Me: But he's setting demands! That I can't meet.

Neil: Ignore him. 

Me: 🤔🤔🤔

Neil: Trust me. 

Neil: You asked my view.

Neil: A man like him will provoke

Neil: Either to get attention

Neil: Or to get into your good graces

Neil: Ignore him. He'll get the message.

Me: Completely?!

Neil: Yes. 

Neil: Do not engage. At all.

Neil: Even when you get your things

Me: It's so unlike me, though.

Me: But I guess talking never worked.

Neil: If he pesters you, insults you, praises you

Neil: It's all to wear you down. 

Neil: Gauge your reaciton.

Neil: *reaction

Neil: If you do nothing, he will understand.

Me: Really?

Neil: Absolutely. 

Me: I hate the cold shoulder. 

Me: Seems so childish

Neil: You need to use a language he understands.

Me: You're probably right. 😂

Me: Thanks, Neil. 

Me: I'm not looking forward to this. 

Neil: Is Emily going with you?

Neil: You're not going alone?

Me: Her friends...by which I mean oak trees...are coming with me.

Neil: oak trees?

Me: Yeah, that's how huge they are. 

Neil: Ha!

Neil: All right. Be careful, will you?

Me: always

Neil: Are we still on for this evening?

Me: Yeah

Me: Just don't mind me if I'm a bit weird

Me: I feel drained and it's only morning

Me: after three espressos

Me: don't know how to kick my brain into gear

Neil: perhaps we can watch a movie together?

Neil: it would take the pressure off of talking

Neil: if this is all a bit overwhelming with your ex

Me: What a great idea! Which one? 💃💃💃

Neil: Your choice.

Me: Didn't you say you liked the Sherlock Holmes movies?

Neil: You know it. My guilty pleasure. 😉

Me: I haven't seen them in forever.

Me: Maybe we can try synchronized streaming?

Neil: Great idea! See you tonight. 🤩

Me: Thank you for everything. 

Neil: anytime

Me: 😘

Neil: 🥰

___

Word count: 1,284
Total word count: 23,852/40,000