The rest of my week went more of the same. My day to day became an obsessive cycle of shame. I woke up just like every morning, greeted my family, drove my sister to school, then rushed to my first period without a word to anyone else. Sophia and I shared a majority of our classes. I didn't know how I hadn't noticed her before.

Every chance I got I stared at her. The rest of the world faded away as I watched her take down notes, talk to her friends, play with her hair; always with a smile. I hadn't heard a word anybody else said. When Friday came I had two pop quizzes, both of which I failed, dramatically. My parents were going to kill me if I kept this up.

Believe it or not I usually didn't get in trouble. I made sure to get good grades and follow the rules. When I was told to do something I did it. I liked helping people and was always willing to go out of my way to do it. I hated getting in trouble.

For the first time I found myself in detention to make up for my failed grades and lack of concentration. I had absolutely nothing to show for the wasted brain cells. I still hadn't said a word to Sophia. I hadn't received a word from her. Not even a glance in my direction. It was like I didn't even exist to her.

All I could do was sulk about it until I wandered to the field an hour later than I was supposed to. The football team was just running their final drills when I climbed the stand to find Alex seated at the lowest bench. His focus remained on the field even as I squatted next to him. We were still stuck in this cold war of him ghosting me and ignoring my presence. He came around like normal, sat with us at lunch, and participated in class when I needed a partner. But he acted like I wasn't there.

It hurt more with each passing day. I didn't have time to grovel to him though. It felt like I was busier than ever that week but nothing had really happened. My mind was just at a constant battle with itself. I could not focus on a single thing with school, Sophia, Nona, and Alex. Not to mention the hundred other things I was procrastinating and pushing to the back of my mind so I could give my attention to them.

I needed to start somewhere to get my life organized again. Alex was the pinnacle for fixing everything. He wasn't going to help me until I apologized. So I sucked in a deep breath and stuffed my shame to the depths of my bowels. I dropped my bag and slid to my knees on the hot concrete in front of him. His eyes widened before my lips opened.

"Look, I'm sorry, sincerely. I was being grumpy because I messed up with Nona. It's all my fault, I know. You're not a player and I'm an incompetent asshole. You're a real gentleman through and through. So please, oh wise and, hopefully, merciful master, help me."

He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his, "Get up, idiot. It looks like you're proposing to me."

"Not until you accept my apology."

"Fine, whatever, just get up." He shook his and I smiled taking my spot next to him again. He couldn't hide the slight tilt to his lip as he turned to glare at me, "You're ridiculous. People already think we're gay, you really don't help my case sometimes."

I pursed my lips into a scowl, "Who thinks we're gay?"

"Well, Nona mostly but rumors spread like wildfire around here."

He hunkered down as if to hide from their impending heat. He wasn't exaggerating. You said one wrong thing to the wrong person and everyone knew by the end of the day. You had to hold your secrets tightly around here.

"Thank you by the way." I looked back at him to see a small smile light his features. A genuine grin that despite my continued failures makes the whole week worth the suffering. His eyes traced the field slowly back and forth. "She actually looks like she's having a good time. I never pictured Nona as a band geek though."

I followed his gaze to the opposite side outside of the field where band practice took place while the football team used the field. Within the large group of kids I could just barely make out Nona. Her wild curls were tied back in a messy braid. She had on a simple white tank top and loose cargo shorts. I stood up to move closer, leaning against the fences that divided the stands from the track.

The smile on her face blurred from the distance but I still saw it. I knew she'd like it. She always liked playing the drums. While it was a different set up to what she was used to it still came with the thundering boom she loved. Plus, there were people there who I knew would like her. People who didn't care what others called you.

I hadn't taken the chance to watch her yet. She hadn't been on the field at all yet. She probably had to fill out paperwork to get a drum set on loan and take some private lessons with the instructor to catch up. She looked like a natural though.

I smiled and leaned forward on my elbow against the fence to just watch, "I knew she'd fit in."

Alex joined me by the fences watching her the same as me but his expression fell, "I'm still not helping you with her. We're finally getting along again and I don't want to mess that up. You did a good thing but it's only a start."

I frowned. On some level I knew that. It'd take a lot more than one good deed to get her to like me again. I suppose I could understand why he wouldn't want to be involved. For the longest time all they did was bicker. Nona didn't get along with anyone for awhile after her dad died.

She was basically a puppet, still following her father's. All his strict rules remained long after he was gone. Unlike before she didn't have us to influence her, she made sure of that. She closed in on herself and clung to her mother. At eight years old she didn't know how else to cope.

"You got her away from that house though and that's more than I could ever do."

I watched his jaw tense even as he covered his mouth to hide it with his fists. I knew he meant memories. That house was never a home. It was different for Alex than Nona but it's all bad memories. Alex couldn't wait to get away while Nona missed everything it used to be and clung desperately to a rose tinted past.

I decided not to involve him from that point on with Nona. I didn't want to harm their relationship if it was going well. I could deal with that on my own anyway. I just needed to clear my plate a little.

"Yea, no problem..."

I watched as the band began to pack up themselves. A couple people stopped to talk to Nona. I half expected her to turn her nose or swat them away. She only nodded and smiled replying to whatever they said. It made my chest tighten. The girl she spoke with leaned closer, whispering in her ear before lifting her hand pointing straight in our direction.

I sat up in anticipation of Nona turning but I never saw it. Instead a curly head walked in front of us blocking my view. I stood up straight for a whole different reason. Sophia stopped in front of us with a group of girls, all dressed in cheerleading uniforms. They giggled amongst themselves unaware of our presence.

I was gone.

The sun behind the trees and building made her dark hair glitter like gold. A slight breeze ran through it lifting stray curls from her face back down her back. My eyes trailed her waist to watch her skirt dance with it, brushing against her skin. Her hand skimmed down her sides to pat the fabric in place. I leaned so far across the fence I almost toppled over it. I caught myself, backing up just in time to see her turn around and finally notice me.

Her eyes found me, probably blushing like I had strawberry smeared on my cheeks. She combed her loose hairs behind her ears and smiled before waving her fingers at me. Her cherry lipstick spread like she was on camera showing me her white teeth. I felt beckoned but stayed in place that time. All I could do was stare.

They were gone before a thought could cross my mind. Alex snapping in front of my face brought me back to reality. When I turned to him he was scowling at me. I made a fool of myself. Again.

"That's gotta stop," he told me with a shake of his head, "Has your brain malfunctioned? Even for you this is sick."

"What? What do you mean?"

He stared at me a moment then looked where I assumed the girls wandered to then he shook his head again, "You're absolutely clueless."

"I know that's why I need your help. How do I talk to her?"

He stared at me in contemplation then he chuckled but it felt like I was missing something. "You don't need help. It looked like you were already in there. You just gotta make the first move."

"You know when I open my mouth I vomit."

He laughed again, turning to grab his bag. It felt like he was taking jabs at me now.

"You have a pretty face, Mike. There's a fifty-fifty chance when you open your mouth she'll think you're cute or a blubbering fool. I'm pretty sure it's the former so you have nothing to worry about."

Another chuckle escaped him but he tried to hide it this time. I grew frustrated, "Why are you laughing?"

He looked at me trying to bite back his smile, "Nothing, just... You're in over your head."

I reached out a hand to punch his arm. He only laughed louder. My face went red and I threw my hands out in frustration. It was good to hear a genuine laugh out of him but I was not in the mood to be made fun of.

His laughter died as he picked up my bag for me, passing it along. "I know you'll figure it out, you always do. You have no shame when it comes to women. You'll definitely need it with this one."

I punched him again as he continued his giggling. I smiled as we made our way down the stairs to find Desmond and Tyler at the exit. It really was good to hear.

"What's so funny?" D asked as we approached.

He changed from his uniform but still smelled of sweat. He probably thought he could clean it off in our pool. Talk about someone with no shame.

"Your smell." I scowled the closer we got. "Why didn't you shower?"

"It's not that bad." He lifted his arms and sniffed only to immediately lower it in disgust. "Well, you won't notice it over the chlorine."

"We still got to ride in a packed car with you."

I nodded my head in agreement with Tyler but looked at the gate as I saw Nona leaving. I walked away without a word to try and catch up to her, "Hey, Nona. You're coming over right? Want to ride with us?"

"Fuck off. I hate you and your stupid car."

I halted my steps uncertainly. She didn't even turn around to look at me. What the hell? All week we were good. I mean she ignored me but she didn't curse me out either. She was less aggressive and more passive aggressive compared to usual. I thought it was a step in the right direction but now it felt like square one again.

What did I do this time?

"Forget her." Desmond said, walking past me toward my car. "There's more room for us anyway without her."

"There'll be plenty of room when I strap your stank ass to the roof," I bit back with more force than necessary.

Always the mediator Tyler stepped in front of me ensuring there was someone between us, "She could always sit on my lap."

Alex snickered somewhere behind me. I scowled at the very idea of it. "I wouldn't even let my own sister on your lap."

He frowned as I pushed past him, pulling my keys from my pocket. "Me and my sister do it all the time. It's perfectly safe."

"I know buddy, I know." Alex patted his shoulder but everything from his mouth seemed condescending. He was in a humorous mood it seemed.

Everyone waited around my car while I stewed inside it. I left the window down to let the breeze flow through and so I could hear them still. I wasn't listening. I had no clue what I'd done wrong this time. I hadn't said one word to Nona all week. I was waiting for the right moment and staying away from her to avoid any mishaps. I thought she'd be happy with that.

"Does she really hate my car that much?"

"It's not the car, Mike."

I rolled my window down further to lean out of it as I spoke to Alex leaning against my car, "What do I gotta do, give her my whole savings?"

"You'd be better off buying a new car."

Desmond pivoted over the hood as if inspecting the silver paint. It wasn't a nice car, I'll admit. It looked like something my dad drove to work. It wasn't cheap either though. I planned on getting my own eventually. Money didn't really come easy. I got an allowance and did some yard work for my neighbors but that was it. We weren't allowed to work while in school. It was too much of a distraction.

"I'm not sure I have enough yet."

I already had a car in mind. I had the money for it too. It just wasn't exactly practical though so I wasn't sure if I was serious about it yet. I was still waiting for the right time. It's not like I needed it after all.

My passenger door opened and before I even looked up the car dipped as Alex sat in the seat. "You're still thinking of the little blue car, right? Nate's offering a good deal for it if you trade in this car."

I stare at him in shock. He shut his door without looking at me and leaned against the headrest to close his eyes. I never told him I wanted that car. I hadn't even asked Nate about it. Not that he talked to his birth father much to begin with. He only went up there during the summers to get away.

I didn't say anything in response. I heard bickering outside before I could start to question him. "You absolutely reek. I will sit next to you. I want a window seat."

I looked out my window to see Kara with her arms crossed and Desmond already walking away from her. "You're such a brat. Shut up and take the seat."

"I'll sit in the middle, that's fine." Tyler quickly resolved it, opening the door for Kara before I could yell at them like their father.

She smiled, a blush creeping up her face as she ducked her head to climb in. I shook my head and turned the keys in the ignition. This was going to be a long drive.

He closed her door and jogged to the other side where Desmond waited. I could tell from his voice he was rolling his eyes at Ty as he gestured him inside, "After you, fair maiden."

"You're such a kind, brave knight." I heard a smooch and D swearing as Tyler dived into the cab to avoid being hit. "Don't kill me. You need me to pass history."

He scurried far inside, almost sitting on Kara's lap. From the review I could see her entire face go red. I thought she might melt into a puddle.

I glared back at him and barked, "Get off my sister... You're suffocating her."

He did as he was told and apologized but Kara looked like she could care less. Her voice was breathy as she fanned herself, "That's alright."

Desmond climbed in shortly after and shut his door and we made our way down the road. Alex had to work so he was only stopping by to say hi to my parents and give Kara her gift. Mom and dad both worked and would only be there for a few hours. That left me in charge of a bunch of kids and the two idiots in the back. I wasn't looking forward to it.

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June 23, 2024

Very short very lazy, you wouldn't believe the week I've had. Will edit later post after. Next chapter will hopefully be better.

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