Passion Struggles

Over the last two years of the coronavirus pandemic, I have struggled to juggle my love for gardening and writing. In the first year, a trip to the grocery store was a nightmare in logistics. When will the store be less crowded? Do I really need to get fresh produce or can I live with canned and frozen alternatives? When I risked mingling with others, I came home stressed out and exhausted. A state of mind not conducive to working in the garden or writing. So, my passions suffered. My logical mind told me to choose between gardening or writing.

In the winter of 2020 and the spring of 2021, I decided to put a priority on gardening. My body needed the physical activity. I would try to fit in the writing as time permitted. But between the physical efforts of gardening with an aging body and pandemic stress and exhaustion, my mind was often blank when I picked up the pen. I was not content, but I could see no solution other than to choose between the two passions.

Then in late fall of 2021, I was lying in bed and trying to reconcile my discontent. I realized I could not choose between gardening and writing. I would not be happy setting aside either of these passions. And there were other desires, such as painting and photography that I wanted to explore while I was still here on earth. I sighed in frustration and tried to relax. As I visualized stress draining from my body, words began to form in my head. I turned on the light, grabbed paper and pen and captured the words as they flowed.

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Grow Love

I wish I could make up my mind

Should I pick up a pen or hoe?

I flip flop day in and day out

For both are a source of heart's glow

No reason for me to complain

For each day I can make a choice

From two paths that tickle my soul

Each with gifts that help me rejoice

Then one day a voice from above

Is whispering in my mind's ear

Build bridges between paths you love

And more love will fill up your sphere

Be sure to share what you have learned

Different paths sometimes connect

Surrender to paths you cherish

And let all your love grow unchecked

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I realized I had work to do. I had to start building bridges. It was time to start a new book. Would my readers join me on my journey to bridge the paths of my passions? I did not know, but I knew I needed to start. I needed to quiet the discontent in my heart.

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