It was a fitful night. Sleep eluded the Haddock boy as images stemmed his vision. The smell of blood choked him, the sight of Benen and Erick howling in agony sending waves of panic through his system. His father's final words rang out through the darkness.

I don't want to hear it. Get out of my sight.

Sharp pain emitted from his stomach and he jerked. Finn vaguely heard a female voice talking to him, something about "holding still", but the words were lost as he rolled over and slipped back into unconsciousness.

Thankfully, he slipped into less than terrifying sleep. In the dreams that followed, Finn could see Benen walking ahead of him in an endless maze of darkened hallways. Benen seemed to be holding out a hand, calling to him, beckoning his little boy to hurry. But no matter how fast Finn ran, his old friend always managed to make a sharp turn and disappear down a hall just as he extended his hand.

"You must be strong," Benen called, holding out a hand.

"I'm trying!" Finn panted, sprinting.

"Patience," Benen said, turning down a hall. "All good things come to those who wait."

For hours, Finn watched the dream unfold. Countless encouragements from Benen to "be strong" and "patient" and "kind" bombarded him, but Benen himself eluded him. Just when Finn thought he might crumple to the smoky floor and cry, he felt a shift in the ground beneath him and he jolted awake.

Finn sharply inhaled, staring around the dim room. His clammy skin felt chilled against the morning air. The blankets pooled around his waist and if not for his utter confusion, he might have pulled them up to his neck and gone back to sleep.

He caught sight of a small bureau next to the bed with jewelry, paper and a quill scattered across the top. He didn't remember seeing this before, but a quick glance at the floor below saw a heap of familiar clothing that sent his heart shooting up his throat.

Raine.

Oh gods.

Finn dropped his head into the pillow, guilt building in his stomach like water filling a jar. His heart constricted and he swallowed the bile rising in his throat. He'd almost given up his virginity last night. He'd been completely, unabashedly willing to go through with it, start to finish. If he hadn't noticed the look on Raine's face, he probably would have done it too.

How could he have been so stupid? How could he have allowed himself to indulge in a fantasy so primal, so selfish and lucid, that he'd give up the very thing he could never get back again?

Finn slowly exhaled. He and Raine had to talk about this. He felt something with her for sure, his feelings weren't entirely misplaced. She was smart and kind; she was a good companion to have when his world was turned to rot. But they had to talk about everything. She was right about one thing: he wasn't ready for intimacy. He simply wasn't in a right position, let alone his age.

Add that to the list of things his father would kill him for (if he found out).

"Morning." A melodic voice said from the foot of the bed.

Finn turned his head and tried for a smile. Raine looked down at him with a warm, knowing smile. "So you nearly strangled me last night."

Finn felt heat rise to his face. He shifted to an elbow, scratching his head. "Um... Did I hurt you?"

Raine blinked. "Oh. No, no, not that. You were thrashing in your sleep, I mean. I had to elbow you to get you off," she giggled.

"Oh." Finn vaguely remembered a sharp pain in his stomach that woke him for a split second during the night. "Sorry."

"It's okay," Raine sat down on the side of the bed beside him. "And no, you didn't hurt me. At all."

The boy swallowed with a nod. "G-good..."

They sat in awkward silence for a moment. Finn suddenly felt very exposed, lying in her bed with only pants on beneath the blankets, but of course only his bare top half was showing. She'd convinced him to stay the night before he'd pulled his shirt over his head and apparently he'd decided it wasn't worth the effort or something, because she was definitely looking at his toned bare chest right now.

No time like the present, Finn thought. "So... what's the plan?"

Raine's blue eyes met his. "Hm? Well I have to go to work in an hour."

"Oh," Finn sat up. "I didn't mean the schedule, I meant with us."

"Us?" Raine raised an eyebrow in confusion.

Finn glanced away. "Well yeah. I mean, what are we now? Are we dating now or-"

"Dating?" Raine asked in surprise. "No no, I don't date."

The boy stared at her. "You don't... date? What's that supposed to mean?"

Raine shrugged, giving him a shy smile. "I like nice men. I'm a very social creature, I like to meet new people and if I click with someone, I like to have some fun. But I don't choose just anyone, mind you, they have to meet a certain 'criteria', if you catch my drift."

Finn was confused. "Criteria?"

Raine blinked. Realization seemed to dawn on her and she tensed. "Wait... Was that... was last night your first time? If we'd... done it?"

Finn flushed. "Yes..."

"Oh..." Raine whispered. "I... Shoot."

"Wait... fun?" Finn asked. "You... sleep with guys... for fun?"

Raine shrugged half-heartedly. "I told you, I'm a social-"

"What does that even mean?" Finn stood and walked away from her, suddenly defensive. "What are you? A prostitute?"

"No!" Raine stood up, eyes wide. "No, not at all. I don't get paid to do this or anything, I just..." She shrugged. "I meet people and if we make a connection and the guy is willing... sometimes I bring them home."

Finn's head spun. "You don't even like me, do you?"

"Of course, I like you," Raine said sympathetically. "I didn't do this to be a bad guy, I do like you. You're a really nice guy-"

"No, you just wanted me because you think I'm attractive!" Finn cried. "You just wanted to sleep with me this whole time—that was your agenda!"

"Not entirely, I really was interested in your story when we first met."

"Oh gods, what if you'd gotten pregnant?" Finn gasped in horror.

Raine frowned. "Finn."

"No, I'm the heir of a tribe, is that what you wanted? For me to get you pregnant so you'd, what, try to take the throne or some-"

"Finn!" Raine shouted in annoyance. "You're being ridiculous." The look she was giving him made him stop. "I would never do that. I wouldn't go through that many lengths for something so trivial, that's silly. I'm not like other women. I see a guy, we have a connection, we may or may not sleep together, we move on with our lives. I drink tea when it happens so I don't get pregnant."

"Oh gods..." Finn turned and pressed his forehead into the wall. What had he done?

"We didn't even have sex, Finn." Raine said behind him calmly. "You don't have anything to worry about."

"I shouldn't have even come here," Finn murmured. "Of all the stupid, reckless, pointless things I could have done, it was this." Brushing past her, he grabbed his shirt and yanked it over his head.

Raine watched him pull on his boots and jacket with a morose expression. "Finn, I really do like you. I just don't do commitments."

"Then what do you do? Take advantage of people?" Finn growled, tears stinging his eyes. "I'm madder at myself, but why the heck- you don't even know me! And after hearing about all the garbage in my life, what made you think that this was what I needed?"

"You wanted it!" Raine said. "And I don't typically ask people how many times they've done it. I didn't know you were a virgin."

The situation rolled over him again and Finn stood, eyes burning with unshed tears. "Well I am. Or at least, I was."

"We didn't do it so technically you still are."

"For how much I was going for it, I'm basically not." Finn said bitterly. "So here's my list of accomplishments: I'm a liar, a vandal, a disobedient, proud and bitter brat who has no family, friends, life, or future, who has nothing left other than the clothes on his back, and less dignity than that of the dragon dung sitting in the nearest dragon pen outside. But heck, I still have my virginity in a rare bout of sanity, so I'm just soaring to new heights!"

"Finn, don't go," Raine grabbed his arm as he grabbed the door handle.

The teenager yanked his hand away and stomped down the stairs, tears streaming down his face. "Just leave me alone, Raine."

"No, I'm seriously worried about you!" Raine stood in front of him at the bottom. "Please, I won't ask for anything short of staying with me just so I can help you get you back on your feet again! You're important and you're smart, I don't want you to-"

"Stop." Finn closed his eyes and turned away. "Just go to work."

"But-"

"Please just go."

Raine stood in silence for a few moments before finally turning. He heard her gather things for work throughout the room. He didn't look at her. The guilt building in his chest was hard enough knowing she was still here. Finally, the door opened, but the girl paused at the doorstep.

"I really am sorry, Finn." Raine said in a small, pained voice. "I never meant to hurt you. I did want to help." She paused. "I hope you find what you're looking for." With that, Raine stepped outside and gently shut the door.

Finn drank in the silence, but couldn't help the waves of hysteria rising in his chest. He slowly sat down on the stairs and buried his face in his hands. He could remember flirting with her that first night in the tavern long after Trader Johann and Chief Kara had left; he could still feel her lips on his and her skin moving silkily against his body.

But instead of ecstasy and raw passion, he felt dirty, impure. He'd made a horrible, horrible mistake that, once again, he couldn't reverse. No matter what he did, he just couldn't seem to make the right decision. His parents were amazing people, his Poppy, his lineage. All great men and women. Even his sister had been kind and gentle with people as a little girl. Maybe he hadn't inherited that gene.

Once again, wanderlust choked him. He had to find Thornado and Sharpshot and leave. Now.

Rising from his seat and roughly wiping his face on his sleeve, Finn stormed out the door and into the street. He passed people, ignoring curious looks and calls from marketers. People beckoned to him to buy their wares, foods and beverages. He couldn't find it in himself to want anything. Everything was vanity. Everything was pointless. Life no longer had meaning for the chief of Berk's son.

At long last, he finally found his two dragons by the port. Unfortunately, they stood next to a familiar figure: Johann.

"Master Finn!" Johann greeted him jovially. "Where were you last night? The chief said you didn't stay at her home last night.

Ignoring the trader, Finn pulled a hooded jacket out of his bag on Thornado's back. He threw it on and yanked up the hood, hiding his layered mop of bright red hair from passersby.

"Finn, are you alright?"

Again, Finn ignored the man. "Do you have paper?"

Johann stared at him in concern. "Yes."

"Can I have a piece? Just one is fine."

"Finn, talk to m-"

"Please, Johann, I just need to send my parents a message." Finn faced his old family friend with wide eyes.

Johann looked stricken. "Finn, I'll give you whatever you need. But I'm concerned for your safety. I think you should go home."

Finn shook his head. "I can't go home."

"Don't you remember what happened last time you said that to me?" Johann asked quietly. "Do you know how terrified I was, knowing that I'd been the last one who knowingly saw you before you were taken away?"

Finn stared at his saddle morosely, remembering that day on Rune.

"I thought your father was going to kill me. I so dearly wanted to reverse time and do everything I could to keep you in my clutches while I had you. I didn't pay enough attention as the responsible adult and good friend to your family. The same goes for today," Johann pleaded. "I'm going to Berk next but it will take me at least a day or two to get there. Come with me. We can sort things out. I'd never forgive myself if something happened to you after this and I had to face your father again. Not again, Finn. I can't do that to him again."

Finn stood in sullen silence for a minute. "I just need paper, Johann. Please."

Johann's shoulders slumped. "Please? I just want to help you, Finn."

The teenager's eyes welled with tears and he was sure they were red and puffy by this point. "You can't help me, Johann. I'm a lost cause. I'm sending my parents a message and then I have some unfinished business to attend to. Now do I need to find paper elsewhere?"

Johann sighed. "No. Wait here."

Finn leaned against Thornado's side wearily as he waited, pressing his palms against the sides of his head. Sharpshot cooed at him in concern. Holding back all this emotion was only building pressure inside his head, concocting a raging headache. He gritted his teeth and pulled his hair between his fingers, willing himself to hold on just a few more minutes. Any random passersby probably thought he was about to have a mental breakdown. He probably was.

Johann finally reemerged from his ship with a few papers. "Here, lad."

"Thanks, Johann." Finn stuffed them inside his satchel and slid onto Thornado's back. The dragon stretched his wings in anticipation with a low growl.

"Where will you go, Finn?" Johann asked sadly.

"Far away from here."

"Will I see you again?"

The question startled Finn. He looked down at the old man with wide eyes, and in those pools of blue he only found compassion. Finn gulped and looked away. "Just tell my parents not to worry."

"Take care of yourself, Fearless Finn."

Pulling on the reins, Finn urged Thornado into the air with Sharpshot hot on their heels. Within seconds, Johann disappeared into the distance and Brawn gradually began to shrink. The teenager steered his dragon north, to the only place he could think of to go. Not for sanctuary, but to face off with his old enemy. Raine had said something about going to the root of the problem. He knew exactly who the root of his problems was. And he knew exactly where to find him.

However, that trip would take hours. He'd have to stop now and then to let Thornado eat. He wondered if he'd ever eat again. The thought of food made his stomach turn and he curled in on himself. He thought over last night's events and he couldn't help the pang of guilt.

Never before had Finn felt so dirty. He'd already felt like a terrible person, with what happened to Erick and the gang and his father. But this... making out with girls seemed to be one thing. He'd felt some inner drive when Dana was lying on top of him: she was dangerous fuel for the fire inside him that didn't want to be extinguished. He'd felt guilt when Adrianna eventually got Dana to leave. Dana, of all people? Everyone knew just how trashy she was.

But he'd been blinded by just how deceptively sweet a girl could be. Raine honestly didn't seem to be a bad person. She was kind and pretty in a natural way, and she could kiss like nobody's business. But he had no business being there. She shouldn't have come onto him, but he should've had the sense to make a better decision than this. He knew better. If he'd used two brain cells, he might have seen this coming beforehand: tavern worker, blatant flirting, low neckline but not too revealing, coy glances as she served the men. She might not get paid for having sex with random men, but Finn certainly felt like he'd been cheated and abused. He never thought he'd come so close to giving up his virginity to a random woman from a tavern in Brawn!

He'd made his decision at the heart of it. He knew what was right and wrong. He should never have put himself in any position such as that, but he'd been testing those boundaries with Helga long ago. But there were big differences between Helga, Dana and Raine. No, he didn't deserve anyone or anything; if he couldn't respect himself then he didn't deserve another person. He just kept digging the hole bigger.

And that's why he was writing a note to his parents. He couldn't do this to them anymore. There would be no false hopes or endless pain for them. No constant wondering. He was done. For once in a long time, he was doing something right.

He hoped.

Xxx

Hiccup had to admit: things could always, always get worse.

His father used to say that "when the going gets tough, the tough get going". Something about his lifelong motto, even though the famous Stoick the Vast almost never spoke the phrase, that's what Hiccup thought at the end of the day.

At first, the day had been sweet, filling it with Astrid and only Astrid. When he awoke to sunlight streaming through the windows and his wife already awake, smiling at him through a sleepy haze, he couldn't help but feel his heart leap a bit. He didn't even feel bad that he'd skipped his meeting the day before and literally hadn't left the house since. Their daughter had come home sometime in the evening to find them sitting on the couch in cozy sweatpants and nursing mugs of tea, to which she gave them a confused look.

"Long day," was the excuse he'd given. But he hoped the happy glow in his wife's cheeks didn't give anything away to their 15-year-old daughter. Adrianna didn't seem to make any connections. She'd merely given them a half-hearted shrug and marched upstairs to read.

After a leisurely breakfast the next morning with Adrianna and Brandyn, the chief and his wife strolled toward the village hand in hand. Their dragons bounded through the trees as the bridge came into view.

"We should visit the Thorston's." Astrid remarked presently.

Hiccup glanced at her in confusion. "Why?"

"Because baby therapy," Astrid smiled when Hiccup laughed. "One more thing to loosen you up."

Hiccup gave her a look. "After yesterday, I'm loose."

"Not loose enough. I can still see it in your eyes."

Hiccup nodded. They'd spent many hours talking the night before, both serious issues (especially regarding their son) and goofing off. He felt a lot lighter, his stress levels having waned a bit. But he couldn't rid himself of it completely. Not until his little boy came home.

The chief lifted his wife's arm and kissed the back of her hand. "If you insist, m'lady."

Astrid grinned and pulled him across the bridge faster. He nearly tripped over a loose board and glanced over his shoulder, making a mental note to have someone come out and fix that. Wouldn't do to lose someone on the bridge.

"Focus, Mr. Haddock," Astrid chimed in front of him. "I'm up here."

Hiccup laughed. "Taking me somewhere? You seem to be in a rush."

"Yes, the Thorstons, I thought we covered this."

"Well, there isn't much privacy there. Ow."

Astrid laughed when as he rubbed his arm. "Wuss."

"Meanie."

"Dork."

"Your dork."

"Yes."

Hiccup grinned at the ground, amazed that after all these years he was still the one man in the entire Archipelago that was allowed to flirt with Astrid Hofferson. "Love you too."

"Oy, stop that," a voice called from nearby. "You both make me sick like back in the old days!"

Astrid waved a hand at Gobber cutely. "Sorry Gobber, some things never change."

"Aye, I can see that." Gobber sent the couple a look as they marched by in passing.

Astrid pulled her husband along until finally the Thorston's home came into view. Inside they could hear a baby girl's wails echoing through the new pine walls. As Astrid knocked, Hiccup stepped back on the porch to survey the newly built home.

"Wow, they did a good job didn't they?"

"Yeah. Tuffnut's excited because he requested a boarpit for the back yard."

"No... they didn't-"

"Oh yes they did."

"They have a bab-"

The door opened swiftly, cutting off Hiccup's words. Svala stood there looking frazzled while Ava squirmed in her arms, tears running down her red face. "Hey. What's up?

Astrid stepped forward and offered her arms for the child. "Need a break?"

"Could you tell?" Svala smiled and handed over her baby. "Come on in."

Hiccup stepped inside, looking around the room for Tuffnut. His eyes finally settled on his friend lying across one of the beams close to the ceiling. "Hey Tuff."

Tuffnut readjusted his position, felt the wood with a hand, sat up and pulled out a piece of sandpaper. As he began to sand the wood, he gave Hiccup a sly grin. "Hello, CH. House it going? Heheh get it? House? Because we got a new house-"

"Yep, yeah. I... I got it Tuff." Hiccup snickered. "What are you sanding the wood up there for?"

"Because it's my man perch, dude. Like, have you ever had a man perch?"

"Can't say I have, no."

"Well if you did have a man perch, like yours truly, you'd want one that's smooth and comfortable." Tuffnut brandished his sandpaper at the chief. "And last I checked, nobody wanted to ask his wife to pull splinters out of his back end because it wasn't sanded down! Well," Tuffnut snickered. "My wife's-"

Hiccup held out his arms. "I'm going to stop you right there!"

"But-"

"Nope! This is not Terrible Tales with Tuff Time-"

"Oh!" Tuffnut nearly jumped off his man perch. "That should totally be a thing! Terrible Tales with Tuff Time! There is- ya know, you really have a gift, there is a very specific reason you became chief, ya know that?"

Hiccup stared at Svala and his wife. "Did being born into the bloodline have anything to do with it?"

"Pft, no." Tuffnut crossed his arms. "It is simply stated that you have a gift. I mean, look at Ava! She hasn't been this quiet in days, you guys come in here and she's completely silent!"

"Let's not draw attention to it," Svala warned. "She might notice that we're noticing and start to cry."

Ava looked around the room with wide blue eyes. Spotting Hiccup, she pointed out a chubby finger and gave him a pronounced, "GAH!"

"Gah?" Hiccup marched forward. "What's harder to say, do you think? Chief or Hiccup?"

Tuffnut snorted. "No, no, Gah is fine. She's very insistent on these things."

Hiccup rolled his eyes, holding out his hands. "Come here, sweetness." Ava eagerly held out her arms, accepting his embrace. "Wow," he glanced at Svala. "She's gotten heavy the last few months."

"You're telling me," Svala sighed, plopping onto the couch.

"Aren't you usually working?" Astrid asked as she sat down.

"Yes, but Grandma Ingerman gave me the day off. How's Erick?"

Hiccup's smile waned. "He's okay. Still hasn't woken up but he's made some progress: moves now and then."

Svala nodded. "Okay."

Tuffnut suddenly gasped and jumped down from his man perch. "Dude, you have to see my boar pit!"

"I was going to ask about the safety regulations on this decision," Hiccup muttered as he followed the tall blonde out the back door, Ava cooing in his arms. As soon as the door closed, Svala turned to Astrid.

"He looks better. A lot better."

Astrid nodded, unable to hide her smile. "We got some alone time yesterday."

"Oh?" Svala's eye twinkled.

"Oh shut up."

Svala snickered. "No no, I'm not making fun. I was just thinking about time."

Astrid rolled her eyes. "He's been busy."

"More like an obsessed workaholic who's been a recluse to his wife."

"He couldn't help it," Astrid sighed, hand on her forehead. "Finn stepping away has given him a chance to focus on other things-"

"Mainly you," Svala smirked.

Astrid ignored her comment. "So hopefully things can smooth out in time for Finn to come home."

Svala paused, weighing her words. Astrid watched her expression. "Do you know when he's coming back?"

Astrid looked at the floor. "No. But he'll come home. I know he will."

"I'm sure," Svala nodded. "I just..."

"What?"

"What if he takes a lot longer than we think? What if he's gone for months, or even years-"

"Please don't," Astrid stopped her. "I can't afford to think like that. He'll come back when he's ready. That's all I need to think about it."

Svala looked like she wanted to say more, but she held back. The back door presently swung open as the men and Ava reentered the house.

"-sure she won't fall in there then I suppose it's not a problem. Just keep that fence on it."

"Relaaaaax, chiefo, I've got it under wraps!" Tuffnut slapped him on the back. Leaning close to his daughter's face he grinned. "Right baby? Right?"

Ava wiggled in Hiccup's arms, pressing her arms against her face with a happy grin. She wobbled into Hiccup's neck with a grunt.

"Careful there," Hiccup smiled, patting her back. "Don't hurt yourself. Or break my nose."

"Break his nose!" Tuffnut cheered. "Let it be known that my daughter will be the next nosebreaker of the Thorston clan!"

"Please don't," Svala complained. "Oh, what time is the meeting this afternoon? Seeing as you guys didn't show up."

Hiccup ignored the look she passed to Astrid. "It will be at one."

"All right, better make sure my man eats before then."

"You know it!"

"You should have a date." Hiccup suggested. "Just you two. We can stay with Ava. Well, I can. Astrid?"

"Sure." Astrid smiled at the little girl cooing in Hiccup's arms. "It'll be fun. Nostalgic even."

"Quick, let's get out of here before they change their minds!" Tuffnut exclaimed, leaping over a chair to get to the front door.

"We'll be back in an hour." Svala said with a chortle as she watched her husband tear down the path to the village. "Thanks so much."

"It's no problem." Hiccup smiled confidently as Svala shut the door behind her.

The confident smile melted instantly when Ava realized what had happened. The baby let out a wail of despair. Her shrill voice echoed off the unfinished roof.

"Aww honey, mommy and daddy will be back soon." Hiccup said soothingly. "We'll have some fun here, you'll barely notice they're gone."

Ava was distraught. Hiccup thought wryly that Astrid was right about the situation being nostalgic. Adrianna had been similarly upset if they put her to bed too early and he remembered being up until the wee hours of the morning rocking her until she finally fell asleep. His heart twinged at the memory; she had been so tiny and cute back then. An innocent little girl who had trusted him completely. He missed those days.

"Maybe we should get some toys out." Astrid suggested as Hiccup struggled to keep the flailing baby in his arms.

"Yeah, good plan." Hiccup sat down on the floor as Astrid extracted a stuffed Zippleback from a nearby toybox. He perched Ava on his lap as she continued to fuss. "Hey, look at the dragon. Look at the dragon, Ava."

Ava's big gray eyes lit up at the sight of the two-headed dragon in Astrid's arms. Her cries quieted and she reached out her little arms. Astrid smiled and gave her the dragon.

"See? Still got it." she said triumphantly.

"So you have." Hiccup smoothed Ava's hair and watched her play with the toy, eventually putting it in her mouth. "So many memories."

Astrid smiled. "Remember when we used to chase Finn down after his baths?"

"He'd run around stark naked until we could catch him." Hiccup laughed. "Hide under furniture so we had to yank him out by the foot."

"He had that funny squeal when we caught him." Astrid sighed. "He was a character. Adri too."

"Toothless made her laugh." Hiccup reminisced. "He'd plop himself down in front of her and let her use him to stand up. She'd crack up every time he made a noise." he let out a chuckle. "I think he started grunting at her just to make her laugh."

"Gods, I'd forgotten all about that." Astrid smiled. "She was adorable. They both were."

"So was Erick." Hiccup said quietly.

"Erick?"

"I've been thinking about it all week." Hiccup admitted, the smile melting off his face. "With everything going on. Do you remember his naming ceremony?"

"Did we go to that?"

"Yeah, we did." Hiccup adjusted Ava so that she would be more comfortable on his lap before continuing. "My dad wanted to teach me how to do them so he made us go. Erick was so small, I almost didn't see him."

Astrid paused, thinking about this for a few seconds. "Yes. I do remember that. Magnus was telling everyone who would listen to her that he was her baby brother."

"Olaf let us hold him after the ceremony." Hiccup grinned, as the image of Erick's little face entered his brain for the first time in years. "I thought I was going to drop him, he was so little."

"He smiled at you." Astrid reminded him. "We saw those baby dimples and you just about melted."

"I remember asking if I could take him home." Hiccup chuckled. "But Olaf was against the idea."

"I still miss him." Astrid admitted quietly. "Sometimes, when we're in meetings, I look over and expect to see him sitting there. And he's not."

"I still half expect Benen to show up on Wednesdays for dinner." Hiccup grinned at Ava when she looked up at him but a wave of sadness crashed over him. "He'd know what to do. What to say. He'd have set Finn straight ages ago." his heart constricted at the memory of his old friend. "Finn was right about that. I'd have depended on him."

"I think he'd have told you that you needed to take care of this." Astrid said to him in a thoughtful tone. "And he'd have told Finn to talk to you. He always knew when to back off."

"True."

"BAH!" Ava chimed in, apparently annoyed that her caretakers were ignoring her.

"That's right, Ava." Hiccup said, his tone cheerful again. "Tell us what you really think."

Ava stuck out her tongue at them, making them laugh. She giggled along.

"It's hard to stay sad with a happy baby on your lap." Hiccup smiled at the little girl, who reached out and gripped his finger in her little fist.

Astrid stared pensively at Ava for a moment before sighing deeply. "I'm sorry, Hiccup."

Hiccup looked up at her. "Sorry?"

"For not having more." Astrid continued to stare at the little girl's smiling face. "I know you wanted them. You could have more little girls to dote on or boys to chase around the house."

"That's not your fault."

"I know." Astrid rubbed her hands on her face. "But it feels like I denied you something you really wanted."

"There's still grandkids." Hiccup shrugged. "I mean honestly... yeah, I wanted more. I did for a long time. I wish... I wish we'd been able to get to know Darin. The twins would have loved having a baby brother. But sometimes I think that it would have been more drama. More heartache. And it's been tough enough with Finn and Addie." he sighed. "Maybe two is the perfect number for us after all."

"Maybe it is." Astrid agreed. "But it went by so fast. I miss those baby days. Snuggling with them on the couch, bathing them in the middle of the living room, making them laugh just by acting ridiculous... that was fun. As much as I complained, I really loved it."

"I did too." Hiccup said sadly. "But it's not over yet. We'll weather this storm just like we weathered the others." he reached out and put his hand on top of Astrid's. "Together."

They leaned forward and kissed each other. Ava squealed.

"All right, little lady. I think it's your turn to be the center of attention." Hiccup cooed at the baby, who grinned widely at him.

They were mostly silent for the rest of the hour, playing with Ava and remembering the early days with their own children. They were having so much fun, they were almost disappointed when Svala and Tuffnut returned just in time for the meeting.

Xxx

After a quick lunch, Hiccup waited patiently as the council members entered the Great Hall and took their seats around the large table. Snotlout clapped him on the back as he took a seat on the chief's left. Ruffnut gave him a wolfish grin and slid into a seat beside her husband. Astrid promptly joined him at his right and finally, he spoke.

"Alright, let's get things started." Hiccup began. "First off, I apologize for my absence yesterday-"

"Where'd you go?" Ruffnut interrupted, a cruel glint in her eye.

Hiccup shrugged. "Nowhere actually. I just didn't show up."

"You mean we." Astrid smirked.

Hiccup flicked her leg, making her snicker as he continued. "Winter is almost here. How is stocking the barns coming along?"

"Right on schedule," Fishlegs said. "We've got most of our quota of fish and meats stored in the ice room."

"What about the Dragon Hangar?"

"Ready for winter, including supplies," Snotlout replied. "Plus we finished another dozen pens in case we get some new dragons."

"Great."

For the next half hour the chief and his council discussed various issues and tasks around the island. The council noted the couple's energy, wondering if it was their sudden day off or their son's absence that had created this happier atmosphere. Maybe it was a bit of both. Collectively, however, they were unwilling to ask about the Haddock boy's absence. They wouldn't ruin the mood.

But fate had other plans.

The squeak of a Terrible Terror interrupted Hiccup mid-sentence. The group looked up to see Sharpshot swoop from the rafters, having entered a Terrible Terror hole in the roof. The green dragon landed on Hiccup's shoulder and sniffed around in search of a fish.

"Hang on, there," Hiccup smirked, untying the note from the dragon's leg. "Fish are over there, mister."

Sharpshot flapped away while the chief unrolled the note and scanned the page. Within seconds, his heart constricted.

"Hiccup?" Astrid leaned forward, grabbing his wrist.

Snotlout jumped up. "Is he okay?"

Hiccup shakily exhaled, staring at the note. "No."

"No what?" Astrid snatched the note.

Ruffnut suddenly appeared at his side with a cup of water. "Drink this, you just went white as a sheet."

Astrid's gasp forced them to look up. Hiccup watched his wife's face constrict in pain. "No." Slamming it onto the table with a loud bang that echoed through the chamber, Astrid stomped away from her husband.

"Astrid wait!" Hiccup lunged forward and grabbed her arm. "Don't go after him!"

"Why not?" Astrid whirled on her husband. "It's... it's not true."

Hiccup forced his emotion down and stood. "Astrid."

"No, Hiccup, he's coming home!" Astrid yelled. "Even if I have to drag his butt back here, he's coming home!"

"Honey, read the note again."

"NO!" Astrid yelled, ignoring the confused, concerned stares from around the room. The burning sensation in her eyes only fueled her anger. "No, I'll find him and I'll bring him back here myself if I have to."

Hiccup grabbed her arm as gently as he could. "You won't find him-"

"Shut up!" Astrid shouted, sounding hysterical. "I won't let my little boy leave everything he knows! I won't!"

"Astrid-"

Astrid shoved against his chest but couldn't get free. "He's coming back, Hiccup! He's! Coming! Back!" She yelled, punctuating every word with a slap on his chest. Hiccup tugged her into his chest, holding her tight as the tears spilled down her face. "No... no, he has to come back! He has to!"

The council watched as Hiccup buried his face in his wife's neck, her sobs echoing through the otherwise silent chamber. At long last, Gobber inched forward and picked up the piece of paper.

I'm sorry. I've made too many mistakes to ever deserve your forgiveness, but I'm sorry. I'm never coming back. Don't try to find me. I'll be long gone before you make it to Brawn. Make Adrianna heiress. Gods know she deserves it more than I do. Goodbye.

No longer your son,

Finn

Gobber passed the note to Snotlout with a grim expression. He hobbled over to the Haddocks and wrapped his arms around the couple. He watched his old apprentice squeeze his eyes shut as tears rolled down his cheeks. Astrid shook in his arms. Finally, the old blacksmith looked around the room.

"Council dismissed."

The men and women sullenly stood from their seats and walked to the large doors. Only a few stayed for the sake of their friends. Snotlout passed the note to Fishlegs and took his seat again, watching helplessly as two of his childhood friends cried, brokenhearted. He tried to imagine Inga or one of his boys running away and sending him a message stating they'd never come home. He couldn't fathom the pain they must be feeling at having just read their child's final message.

The Hall remained silent. There were no words to be said.

Xxx

Adrianna wasn't oblivious: something was wrong. People were giving her weird looks, a few whispering behind hands as she walked by. She could tell what they were discussing didn't have to do with her appearance, or even about her in general. But the way they looked at her with pity or sadness made her skin crawl.

At first she thought something had happened to Erick. Checking in with Mara, however, proved her suspicions false. He was still unconscious, but the healer said she hoped the young man would wake up soon. She left with the instructions to "stop by in a few hours".

The cold feeling in her stomach didn't leave even after she'd left the village behind. She glanced over her shoulder as she crossed the bridge, wondering if Brandyn knew what was going on. When she finally reached her house, she frowned at the sight of Toothless lying on the porch with his head resting on his front paws.

"Toothless?" Adrianna crouched to look at him. "You sick buddy?"

Toothless crooned sadly and halfheartedly licked her hand.

"What's wrong?"

The door suddenly opened, drawing her attention up the porch. Adrianna cocked her head when Heather Jorgenson stepped outside. The dark-haired woman gave her a small smile. Adrianna knew that look.

"What happened?" She demanded, rising to her feet.

Heather held out her hands in a placating gesture. "Anna... it's best if your parents tell you."

Her blood ran cold. "Finn?"

"Come inside."

Despite the fire burning in the center fire pit, Adrianna had never known her house to feel so cold. One look at her parents spoke volumes, yet she still didn't know what had happened. Her mother sat at the dining table with a mug of tea, her face red, puffy and drawn tight. Her father sat in the center of the couch with his face buried in his hands. Neither of them moved when she came in nor when Heather gently closed the door behind them.

Heather stepped around her and bustled around the room with quiet footsteps. Adrianna had never seen her parents look so depressed. Not since... she gulped. Not since she herself had been kidnapped. Shoving back those horrific memories, she gently stepped forward.

"Daddy?

Hiccup didn't move.

Adrianna looked across the room. "Mom?"

Astrid snapped out of her trance, blue eyes locking on her daughter instantly. She stood and in three fluid steps had Adrianna wrapped tightly in her arms. The girl could feel her mother shaking.

"What happened?" She asked quietly.

Heather rested a hand on both of their shoulders. "I'll leave you all alone. Send a Terror if you need anything."

Astrid gave a single stiff nod before Heather left. She heard the door open and close before she moved. She smoothed her daughter's hair down and straightened her shirt, almost as if she was afraid her little girl would disappear before her eyes.

"Adri... Um." Astrid swallowed, gently pulling over to a chair.

Apprehension pressed upon her the longer her mother waited and father remained silent, still unmoving on the couch. Her mother never faltered. Her father never had nothing to say. Finally, she couldn't take it any longer.

Straightening her back, Adrianna said, "Just tell me. Please. What happened?"

Astrid's jaw tightened. "Finn... Finn's not coming home."

Adrianna stiffened. "What do you mean?"

Her mother bit her lip and pointed to the table in front of Hiccup. A note lay face up on the table top. Adrianna gingerly lifted the paper and read it over once, twice, three times before she finally let it rest in her lap.

"How could he do this?" She hissed. "He's always making everything worse."

"Adri..." Astrid grasped her hand. "If... if he never comes home... you do know what that means, right?"

Adrianna sighed through her nose. "I'll have to be chief."

Hiccup suddenly took a shuddering breath. "I'm sorry, Addie. I'm so sorry." He sounded so heartbroken, it made her chest hurt.

"Oh daddy," Adrianna sat beside him on the couch and hugged him tight. "It's not your fault. Not any of it. I'll do what I have to do, but it's not your fault."

"You shouldn't have to." Hiccup shook his head as Astrid sat on his other side and hugged his middle.

Adrianna pressed her face into his shoulder. "It'll be okay."

She felt the lie roll off her tongue and wished she could take it back. She hoped it would be okay; she prayed it would be. But she couldn't guarantee anything. Because of her idiot brother, their lives might never be the same. He'd changed their parents' lives just as much she had. Now it seemed he'd made it his own personal mission to make their lives as hellish as possible.

Heiress. She would have to train to be a chieftess from now on. Her heart dropped its way down to her boots, clanging against one bone at a time. Any hopes and dreams she had might have to be put on hold now. Being a wife and mother wasn't out of the question of course. Kara of Brawn was a successful chieftess as well as a wife and mother. It could be done. But becoming chief certainly hadn't been part of her agenda. That had always been Finn's drive, his passion. His destiny.

She couldn't see herself as a chief. She couldn't see herself running the village like her father did, holding village meetings and traveling across the Archipelago, training dragons and catching renegade teenaged gangs. She wasn't meant to be all... that. She wasn't sure what she was meant to be, but she felt in her heart that it wasn't that. But if her idiot brother never came home, she'd do it. She would make her parents proud. She would do right by them. She'd had her own skirmishes with them in the past, but it was time to put all that aside. They needed her to be strong. She'd find a way to fill the gaping hole that was left in her brother's stead, even if she had to sacrifice her own desires to do so.

Suddenly, she stood up. "I'm going to Erick's." she said simply before turning and walking out of the door again.

She tromped down to the healer's as fast as she could. She didn't want to think about her new status. She didn't want to think about anything at all. She just wanted to see her best friend, to make sure he was okay. She pushed past Mara when she finally got there and plopped herself next to her best friend's bed. She'd be there all night if she had to.

Hours ticked by. Adrianna's eyelids felt heavy but she continued to stare at her friend's face, mentally begging him to wake up. Other than her parents, he knew her better than anyone she knew, even more than Brandyn. She missed him with an ache that seemed to tear a hole in her heart. She felt like crying as his body remained still.

She thought she had only put her head down for a moment. She could hear Mara walking around, tending to the other patient across the room, but the next second, it was completely silent. The lights were extinguished except for a small lamp on the shelf next to Erick. She could feel drool on her arms from her slack mouth, which meant she'd probably been asleep for hours. Deeply asleep. But something had awakened her. She stirred, blinking her eyes so that the room would be in focus.

Then she heard a croaky, weak moan emanating from someone nearby. She wiped her eyes and tried to focus on Erick. A part of her thought she must be imagining this. He couldn't be awake, not so soon after what had happened. And certainly not after she had been pleading with him to wake.

"Erick?" she whispered tentatively. "Can you hear me?"

The boy's head turned the tiniest bit toward her voice. "Annie?" he croaked.

"It's me." Adrianna stood up and leaned over him so that her face would be in focus. Erick's eyes fluttered.

"Hurts." he groaned. "M-my foot..."

Adrianna suddenly felt the urge to cry but she pushed it down. "You'll be okay." she promised, her heart pounding in her ears.

"Wh-wha happened?" Erick mumbled, wincing with each word.

"There was an accident." Adrianna explained as gently as she could. She could feel her voice shaking with the effort not to break down right there. "You... you got really hurt." she couldn't bring herself to tell him the horrible truth. That his foot was long gone. That he may never walk again. "You're getting better now."

"Hurts..." Erick whimpered, his hands trembling at his sides. Adrianna took one in her own. "R-really hurts..."

"I know it does." Adrianna's voice was choked as a tear finally slipped down her face. He looked like he was in extreme agony. "You'll be okay, I promise."

Erick's hand tightened around hers. "Scared." he whispered.

"I know. Me too." Adrianna reached up and brushed his bangs out of his eyes. "I'm not going anywhere." She leaned down and kissed his forehead.

Erick leaned into her touch, almost like he was savoring it. She thought she saw his mouth quirk into a tiny smile. But that may have been a trick of the light.

"Go back to sleep." Adrianna told him. "You need it. I'll be right here if you need me, okay?"

Erick squeezed her hand again in response as he finally closed his eyes. In seconds, his breathing deepened but his hand continued to grip hers, like he needed that assurance even as he slept. Adrianna continued to stroke his hair, tears dripping down her front until she too succumbed to her exhaustion and fell asleep beside his bed.