*Update - yes, yes, another lyric video has been linked. You're welcome.

Bring Me Down - pillar

The car seemed to steer itself back to the campground. Hope wasn't sure how long she had sat, crying in her car at north beach. But after a while, she wiped her eyes with the sleeve of her hoodie, again, and started driving. She wasn't sure where she was going exactly, but she knew it wasn't home. Eventually she found herself back at the campground.

Parking her car on the side of the road, Hope got out and walked ever so slowly to Diane's door. She had checked the clock on her car radio, 9:30, and figured she would be in there, or somewhere close by. She knew her mom had probably called and there would be a conversation about going home. Hope would refuse, even if it meant finding somewhere else to stay. Maybe Will could help her out.

Hope steadied her breathing and knocked twice at the door to the trailer. Sure enough, she heard footsteps alerting her to Diane's presence. The door opened and Hope was once again greeted with a huge hug. "Oh, come here, Sweetie. Let's have a talk. Are you hungry?"

Hope knew then that Diane knew what had happened and must have spoken to her mom. "No, I'm not hungry. What did she say?" Hope grimaced.

"Well, come in and sit down. I have a little time this morning before I need to check on things around here. Let's have that heart to heart now" Diane seemed to read Hope's mind. And Hope was ready to spill her guts, at last.

Diane gestured to her couch. The 5th wheel trailer, although tiny on the outside, seemed more spacious inside. The door opened to a combined kitchen/living room area. The table, at this time, was stored out of the way so the couch was easy to plop down on. To Hope's left was a mini hallway which included a tiny bathroom and what looked like a small bedroom. To her right was a short three steps leading up to a larger bedroom and a second bathroom. Every spare inch was used to the fullest, but quite wisely so that she didn't have the feeling of being cramped at all.

Hope looked over at Diane, expecting a lecture. But true to this trip so far, nothing seemed to go as expected. Diane just smiled over at Hope and said, "Tell me all about it, Sweetie"

So Hope did. She told her about the divorce and how that seemed to bubble up in every area of her life. She told Diane how she felt lost, and forgotten, by the two most important people in her life. She spilled everything she had been thinking towards her parents and their shortcomings, every disappointment she had been listing in her mind. There were no tears this time, Hope didn't think she had any left.

After letting loose all of the details of her family life, Hope took a deep breath and said something to Diane that she had never admitted to anyone, even herself really. "I just don't like my life, or myself most days. I feel trapped by my own fears and I'm sick of it. I hate worrying all the time, but I don't know how else to be."

Diane had listened intently to every word Hope had said, nodding her head, smiling in understanding, and bunching up her eyebrows when she was sad for Hope's dilemma. She let Hope talk without interruption, something that never would have happened in her own family. And then she let Hope glimpse a wisdom that she never would have expected...

"Hope, have you ever said any of this to your parents?"

"No, they wouldn't understand." she shook her head.

"If you've never given them the chance to understand, how do you know? Listen, I get it. It's hard to be a parent, there is no guide book. I don't know what went on between your parents over the years. But I can tell you it wasn't always like that. I watched your family for years, and there was joy, and love, between them. Sometimes things happen that you have no explanation for, no smoking gun to point to. It just happens.

"I know your parents love you, and they are doing the best they can. They can only respond to what you are giving them." Diane paused for a minute. Hope started to protest

"But, they never-"

Diane cut her off, "I know, they never ask, right?" Hope nodded. "If you aren't showing them your feelings, asking them questions or telling them...anything, how are they to know to ask. I think Lisa thought you were older so you were handling everything fine."

That brought Hope up short. She had no response because Diane was right. She had shoved all of her frustrations, questions, disappointments  and needs down so far, she didn't even know exactly what they were. Hope suddenly felt guilty.

Diane saw the look on her face and spoke up, "Hope, don't beat yourself up anymore than you already have. You have also done the best you could. At this point you need to give everyone a break, including yourself. You need to forgive your parents for hurting you, even though they didn't know they were hurting you as much as they were. And you need to forgive yourself for being so angry."

"I know, you are right, but I'm not sure I can." Hope started rubbing her temples. There was nothing she wanted more than to not carry this around anymore, but it was so hard.

"Hon, I know it's hard. But little by little, try to find something positive to hold on to. And keep telling yourself that your parents are doing their best. They really are, and you can't change them. They are the parents you got. They may disappoint you again, but that's because they're human. Everyone will disappoint you someday." Diane gave Hope a smile.

"I guess." Hope gave a small smile back. "I really don't want to go home though."

"Then don't. Like you said, you're 18, you're safe here with me looking out for you. I won't make you go back if you don't want to. Your mom will be okay." Diane was firm in her statement.

Hope let out a deep breath. "Thanks. After all of this, I really wish I could stay longer. I think I need some space and time to work some of this out."

Diane seemed to be thinking for a minute, quietly. Then she got a smile on her face and said, "You know, that's a really good idea. Let me tell you what, why don't you stay for a few weeks. You can stay in the spare bedroom here so you don't have to camp the whole time. If you want, you can even work part time here on the grounds if you need some money. Ever since Ethan left, I've been short handed. It wouldn't be much but it would help with gas and food while you're here." Diane looked excited by the idea.

"But, my mom would never let me stay. She wants me home now." Hope replied. She really liked the idea though.

"Don't you worry about Lisa. I'll call her myself and explain our chat. I'm sure she will understand that you need some time. And if she knows that you are working toward getting along with her, she will probably have no problem with you staying." Diane had taken Hope's hands in hers, gently reassuring her.

"I guess it might work out. Boy it's a good thing I way over packed!" Hope had a smile, a big one, now. She really liked being away from the drama at home. And she was interested in talking to Will more, now maybe much more...

"Great, I will give your mom a call soon. I think I'll let her cool down a bit. She was pretty worked up earlier." Diane chuckled a bit.

Hope stood up and Diane gave her a huge, signature hug. Hope was really starting to like them. As she stepped toward the door to leave, Diane threw out something else for her to think about.

"Oh, and I talked to Ethan this morning. He was glad to hear you came up this summer. He's planning to visit on Thursday and now you'll be here to see him!" There was a glimmer in Diane's eye, and possibly a smirk on her lips, as she added that last part.

Hope went completely pale and gulped. Oh my.

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Author's notes:

So another shortie but goodie. This one is packed even though it is short. So do you just love Diane or what? She is Hope's voice of reason. She will be instrumental in helping Hope repair her relationship with her mom, and one of the catalysts for Hope finally seeing herself in a positive light.

I plan on updating again on Monday!

Notes on chapter title - Bring Me Down

This is another harder sounding song. If you just go by the title, it sounds depressing. But if you listen to the words it is talking about not letting the negative "bring me down". I could have also used 1D's Drag Me Down, but this one is more fitting of Hope's mood, plus I love it!

See what I mean?

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]