Chapter Eleven

McKenna

"I killed him. I admit it. I did it." I inhaled. "But I did it for you. For us."

Ernie clapped. "Bravo! Bravo!"

"Thanks, E!" I took a bow and grinned.

I was grateful he was hanging out with me today. I usually had to work Saturday mornings, but I had a late shift tonight instead. Freaking deep cleaning the hot dog grills after the mall closed was the worst.

"Maybe you could try out for the school play this year. Auditions are in a few weeks."

I sagged onto the edge of my bed and let out a long breath. My tiny bedroom closed in around me as I toyed with the idea of trying out. I'd always wanted to, but with Mom and her unpredictability... What if she'd show up to a play drunk? Or even rehearsals? I hated that I worried about that kind of stuff. About being embarrassed by her. She was sick—it wasn't her fault. But my classmates wouldn't understand. Their reactions would most likely be brutal and I wasn't sure if I could handle that additional stress.

"I know you're worried about your mom," he said softly as he rested his warm hand on my shoulder.

He'd been lying on the bed, watching my rehearsal, but now he sat beside me. Always beside me, cheering me on. I rested my head on his shoulder, ordering the tears starting to burn my eyes to go away.

"But, it would be only an hour or two after school every day."

"Yeah but, an hour or two, plus four night shifts a week at The Hot Dog Shack and an all-day shift on the weekends. It's just too much. I can't be away from her for that long. Something bad could happen."

"You're the kid, Mac. She should be looking after you."

The air deflated from my chest. He wasn't wrong. But what could I do? I couldn't force her to consistently take her medicine. I'd tried that time and time again. It always ended the same way. With a massive fight. Tears. Words that couldn't be taken back.

"Maybe she could go somewhere? Get help?" Ernie suggested.

I sighed. "We don't have the money for anything like that and more importantly, she'd have to go willingly, which she'd never do."

"Can't you call the adult version of Child Protective Services?"

I shook my head. "I looked into it. Unless she's a danger to herself or others, incapable of things like feeding or bathing herself, they won't intervene."

"What's going to happen when you leave after

graduation?" Ernie asked quietly.

"I'm not sure. I've got eight months to figure it out,

though... Maybe her sister will come stay with her for a while."

A loud thump from somewhere in the house interrupted our conversation.

Ernie looked toward the door but didn't say anything. It was his first time coming over in months. He claimed it didn't weird him out when my mom went into a full manic swing, but how could it not? It freaked the hell out of me and I was used to it.

"I can't wait until I graduate and turn eighteen. I'm gonna be so out of here."

"You could always come stay with me," Ernie offered. "I'd never get a warm shower again."

We both chuckled.

"Seriously though, you could bunk with one of my sisters."

"Thanks, E. You're really the best. You know that, right?"

Ernie grinned, the apples of his cheeks turning pink.

"That's what best friends are for."

"Changing the topic," I said, ignoring another thump from outside my room. 

"What's the latest with KOS?" Ernie clasped his hands together. "Oh, it's getting good. Sooooo good!"

"I'm sure it's not. I mean, swords, kissing—"

"And evil queens overthrowing things. But the best is

this Masrin girl. She's this lowly servant girl and let me tell

you, she's out there. I totally think she's the villain." "Why?"

"She's so sneaky and not very forthcoming when people try to talk to her about why she's sneaking off into the forest. Skulking through gutters and caves." Ernie flopped back onto the bed. "I mean, come on. She disappears into the forest and then one of the knights shows up dead? I mean, hello!"

"Interesting. So, is Jace actually a good writer or are people just obsessed with the story he's telling?"

Ernie pushed up his glasses. "Actually, both. With an emphasis on being a good writer. He reminds me of an up- and-coming Cinda Williams Chima."

"Is that a good thing?" I asked.

"Ah, yeah, it's downright amazing."

"Wow. I'm actually impressed." I leaned up against my bedpost. "So, this evil queen, she's gonna die, right?" "None of the characters know she's evil yet. And the king. They're all up into the evil together, but when people see them, they are seemingly so perfect. So good, but they're gonna crush Prince Jarren! They already had his parents killed."

"Wait, what? Parents killed?"

Ernie slowly nodded. "You know you're interested. You should read it."

"Hmmm. I might have some time during a break at work. I've snooped around a bit, but I don't even have an account."

"Set one up! Jeez, girl." Ernie grabbed his phone and typed something. "And, he's up to fifteen million reads. Can you believe it?"

"Yeah. I saw that."

He nodded. "He's like Anna Todd famous."

"Does she go to our school?" The name sounded familiar, but I couldn't quite place it.

"The author of After? She had like a billion reads on Wattpad; it's like Scribbles; they've made movies based on her books; she's like the biggest rock star of the writing world." Ernie held up his phone and flashed the Kindle screen. "I have all of her books. She's amazing!"

"I wish I loved to read as much as you do."

"I wish I was as good an actor as you are," he countered. We both smiled.

"Man, it would be so amazing if we could nail our scene

in the workshop next week. High marks at something like that would totally impress Hans Kilzner."

"Who?"

I stood up. "Hans Kilzner is running the Winters Players Theatre I'm interning at next year. He's like the best director ever. His version of Kinky Boots was pure magic. If I impress him, he may let me audition for a role in one of the plays he's directing. The actors who work for him end up on Broadway and in movies."

"That's really awesome, Mac." Ernie smiled. "Let's run our lines again." Ernie reached down for the papers I'd highlighted for him. He was reading the part of the hero and I was reading the part of his scorned lover.

He was such a good friend to practice with me like this. I was getting more and more nervous as the date of the workshop approached.

He flipped to the first one and opened his mouth to give the opening line of the play, "Tis I—"

The sound of shattering glass filled the air.

Our eyes went wide as we raced out of the bedroom to find out what happened. My room was down the hall from the living room, so it took only a few steps to get to the center of the house.

"Mom!" I yelled as I darted through the living room into the kitchen.

Mom was doubled over the sink.

"What's wrong? Are you hurt?"

She held her hand up and streams of crimson poured out from her pointer finger and dribbled onto the floor.

My heart started racing at the same time my stomach lurched at the sight of all that blood.

"Holy crap." Ernie's face turned a sickly shade of pale green.

I gulped. There was a lot of blood. "We need to get you to the hospital."

"I'm fine." She grabbed a kitchen towel and wrapped it around her hand.

"That cut looks pretty bad, Ms. Storm." Ernie grimaced.

"I can drive you and McKenna to urgent care."

She spun around and snapped, "I said I'm fine. I can take care of myself, McKenna!"

I gave Ernie's arm a tug. "You should just head out."

"I don't mind staying." He shifted his weight from his left foot to his right and that sickly green shade deepened in his cheeks. He didn't have a strong stomach at all. We could never go to horror movies together for this very reason.

"No. It's fine. Go." It's okay, I mouthed.

He gave me a worried look, then pushed up his glasses as he headed toward the front door. "Call me if you need anything."

As soon as Ernie was gone, I said, "Mom, come on. You need to get that cut cleaned and stitched up."

"I'm not going to the doctor." She turned away from me, breathing hard.

I planted my feet and put my hands on my hips. "If you won't let me take you to the doctor, then I'm going to call 911."

My mom grabbed a bowl and chucked it at my feet. "Don't you dare!"

Shards of deep blue ceramic flew in every direction. Thank God I was wearing jeans, otherwise I might have been making a trip to the ER for stitches, too.

I took a deep breath and counted to ten in my head. "It's going to get infected. If you won't let me take you to the clinic, at least let me clean it for you."

My mother nearly collapsed, catching herself on the counter and draping her upper half across it. "I'm so sorry, McKenna. I didn't mean to yell at you and scare your friend away. Can you fix my finger? I can't go see a doctor...I just can't."

"It's okay, Mom." I approached her slowly, avoiding the big shards of glass scattered across the floor. Rubbing her back, I said, "Now sit down at the table there and let me help you with that cut."

The peroxide was underneath the kitchen sink as well as a first aid kit. I'd learned to keep one in here, the bathroom, and the car. And to keep them well stocked.

Five minutes later, I'd cleaned her cut, applied two butterfly bandages, and topped it off with a waterproof Band-Aid, then swept up the mess. I leaned the broom against the counter and dropped down to my stomach, searching the linoleum floor for any stray pieces of evidence of tonight's episode. My dad taught me this trick when I was a little girl and I'd lost the back of one of my earrings. It was easiest to find something on the floor when you were parallel with it. After a thorough inspection, I got back up and put the broom away in the pantry.

As I returned to the sink to wash my hands, Mom got up from the chair at the kitchen table and faced me.

"Thank you so much, McKenna." My mom wrapped her arms around me. "You always take care of me."

Tears filled my eyes. I did, but Ernie was right, it wasn't my job.

I wasn't the parent.

Why was I being forced to act like one?

"I, ah, um, I gotta go out for a bit. I'll see you in a few

hours." I wiped my hands against my jeans and then bolted toward the front door. I needed to get out of here. Away from the stress. Away from Mom.

There was only one place I could go when I felt like the world was falling apart.

A secret spot that even Ernie didn't know about.

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