Chapter Thirteen

McKenna

"I think we have more in common than either of us know," Jace said.

He might be right, but was I ready to find out? I couldn't believe I was sitting here, in my sacred spot, holding his hand. Well, not holding it, but my hand was atop his. It'd take one simple move on his part or mine to actually be holding hands.

"So you don't have the television picture-perfect family either?" He shifted slightly so he was leaning more on the beanbag I was sitting in. His blue eyes slowly scanned me as if analyzing every detail. Should I tell him about my dad leaving? My mom? What would he think of me? Especially if he knew about her illness.

"TV family? Ha. Maybe The Simpsons, but definitely not The Brady Bunch."

"That bad?" he asked quietly.

Hell, I didn't know what to think. Bipolar disorder was scary. I could get it. It was my biggest fear in the world that I'd get it. Dad had left us because he couldn't handle it. If I got sick, I wouldn't have to experience anyone leaving me, except Ernie. You can't lose what you never had. "Things are...tough. It's just me and my mom. Dad left a long time ago."

He shifted even more and rested his free hand on top of mine. "That sucks."

You don't know the half of it.

"My mom is a mess." I focused on the moonlit scenery out the window instead of watching for his reaction. I couldn't take it if he looked at me weird.

"A mess?"

No. I'm not telling him. He won't understand. "Enough of this shitty family crap."

"Wait a second." He gripped my hand tighter. "I told you some of mine."

"Oh, what is this, a game or something?" My heart hammered.

"No. McKenna. Jeez." His bright eyes darkened as if maybe I'd hurt his feelings.

Shit.

Jace Rovers was sitting in my sacred spot. Ernie didn't even freaking know about this place and now Jace was here. But what scared the shit out of me even more was the fact that I liked having him here. I liked having him ask about my life. It seemed like he really cared. Really wanted to know.

Hell, he was holding my hand right now.

"I'm curious."

"Curse of the writer, huh?" My heart suddenly pounded at the thought of telling him about my shit. He wouldn't want to hear it. I didn't want to hear it. Even if he had the notorious writer's curiosity. I'd probably end up in one of his stories. And then he'd kill me off or something.

But yet...he'd asked.
He was here.
Maybe he was interested.
"Dad left. Bolted, before sixth grade." I let out a shaky breath. Just after Mom had gotten really sick. Her episodes were really bad back then, while they tried to find the right medicine. And like the coward he was, Dad didn't stick around to help his family. To protect me.

"Shit. I had no idea..."

"Yeah, well, I didn't tell a whole lotta people and you and I...we don't run in the same crowds."

"Crowds," he said, rolling his eyes. "Kinda been thinking lately that crowds are overrated."

"Same. That's why I ditched 'em. You should give it a try."

"Does it get lonely?" He rubbed his thumb along the back of my hand.

"I have E."
"And Trinity." Jace chuckled, a smile filling his face. "Oh yeah, she's obviously my new best friend." I covered my face with my free hand. "She's legit out there, you know? I mean, uber fan of yours."

"You mean yours." Jace held my gaze, and for once, I didn't look away.

His blue eyes held me captive. They always had, but to be here, in this special place, with him gazing into my eyes, I almost felt like normal for once. Like a girl about to get her first kiss from a guy she really liked. Normally I'd laugh it off and make a joke, but right now, not so much.

It was okay being looked at by Jace.
Being noticed by him.
"It sucks," he said, easing his hands from mine. "Your

dad. Sucks that he did that."
I nodded, unable to really talk. Hopefully I could

trust Jace with what I'd told him. I let out a big breath and clapped my hands together once to slice through the tension. "Enough of the family downer stuff. For real this time."

"Good call." Jace met my gaze with an intensity that I thought might actually produce sparks if he looked at me much longer. "Wanna talk about Kingdom of Swords?"

I arched an eyebrow. "I thought I said no downer talk?"

He pushed to his feet and flopped onto the bed. "Look who's got jokes."

"I guess you can bounce a few ideas off me." I leaned back in the beanbag chair and laced my hands behind my head. "But I'm adding a third 'You owe me' to my list."

Jace grinned and reached for his backpack. "When do you plan on cashing in on these IOUs?"

"I'm waiting until the time is right." I cocked my head to the side. "Or if something comes up and I need a really big favor."

"Hmm...I'm intrigued." His gaze lingered on me as he ran his hand through his floppy brown hair. "Anyway, back to KOS. So, I killed off the darling aka Knight Ephraim Osric."

"How'd you come up with these ridiculous names?"

"You mean, how'd you come up with them?" Jace countered.

I laughed but waved for him to continue.

"Random name generators, baby name lists, or names I know with the letters changed up. Mash-ups. Things like that."

"How'd you get into writing?"
He shrugged, looking down at his notebook.
"Escape from shitty family stuff?" I sat up more, kinda curious now.

"Nah, it was more about my little sister and my mom."

He cleared his throat and shifted on the bed a little. He looked hysterical sitting on that low mattress. His legs were way too long, so his knees were, like, up to his chin.

But he didn't complain. Just stayed focused on his notebook.

"What do you mean?"

"My mom used to tell Lily a story every night before bed. She'd read her books, but Lily always liked it better when she made up stories. So, when my mom started working third shift a few years ago, I took over storytelling duty."

"That's pretty cool of you."

"My dad refused to do it. So, it was either break my little sister's heart or step up."

"That's really respectable, Jace."

He waved me off. "It's just something special Lils and I share. Anyway, I decided I should write down some of the stories I told her and that's how KOS was born."

"That actually makes me want to read it. Well, a little bit." I winked. "So, what did you want to talk about? Who

should we, I mean, you, off next?" I dragged my finger across my throat and pretended to keel over.

Jace chuckled. "Well, with the knight, and all the hope for finding out the evil king and queen's plan gone, we're in the dark, tension rising period now." He pulled out a pen from the notebook and looked up at me. "I'm thinking it might be time for another dragon."

"As long as it's a pink dragon."
"Um...no." He scrunched his face before chuckling. "Flames?"
"Duh."
"What about ice? Can he shoot ice from his mouth, too?"

He stared at me for a few beats.
"What?"
"Fire and ice. That's genius. I mean, it's been done before, sure, but maybe we could have the ice coming from the dragon's tail or something like that?"

"Or his eyes," McKenna said.

"Sweet." He hunched over his notebook and scribbled for about five minutes. I didn't mind watching him, though. It was cute how he stuck out his tongue as he was writing. An image of me nipping at that bottom lip his tongue was working flashed before my eyes. A streak of heat shot through my chest at the thought of kissing Jace.

Then again, that'd probably never happen. I mean, when did good things happen to me?

"This is great, McKenna."

"Oh. And he could totally ravage part of the kingdom or something. Or steal children. Then...ohhh, you could blame someone for it. Maybe it's that girl, Ernie told me about her, the one slinking away into the forest, scavenging ditches and dark caves for something?"

"Masrin," Jace said as he looked at me. His focus didn't appear to be directly on me, though. It was more like he was deep in thought at that very moment.

"Yeah. Masrin. E told me about her. Um, someone commented, calling her Gutter Girl, right? She's super evil." "She kills, but..." Jace's voice faded away as he started scribbling some more. He really was passionate about this story, wasn't he? Had to respect that. Ernie had told me he was a really good writer, too.

"Why don't you just kill her?"
Jace's pen fell from his hand. "Can. Not. Do. Next idea?" "Fine, let's go back to the dragons. They could heap pain and suffering onto the people of the kingdom." 

"You're brutal." Jace chuckled as he kept writing. "Tension, tension, tension, right?"

"Exactly. Are you...a writer, too? You sound like one." Should I tell him about my acting? Did I dare?

"No. No." I sat up in my beanbag chair. "So not a writer."

Jace closed his notebook. "You should be an editor. Seriously."

"I'm not any good at punctuation and if you don't believe me, go ask Mrs. Nester. I almost failed ninth grade English."

He laughed. "But that's more of a copy editor's job. One of the things an editor does is help their authors make their books better. You totally do that when we talk about KOS."

Pride swelled in my chest. It had been a long time since someone other than Ernie told me that I was good at something. And now that I thought about it, I was actually more like Jace than I realized with the whole artistic talent nobody knew about except a select few.

"Maybe one day, when I get the hell out of Twin River, I'll look into that editor stuff." I kicked at a scuff worn into the ancient wooden floor.

"Oh yeah?" Jace asked. "Where are you going?" "Away from here."
"Oh, right, away from here. I know that place." Jace grinned.

I arched an eyebrow and gave him a wry smile. "I'm interning at this place next summer, for a whole year—you can live there while you work. Hopefully it will become a full-time gig after that."

"Why are you so anxious to leave?" Jace sat up, causing the old mattress to dip even more. He rested his elbows on his knees and regarded me with truly beautiful eyes. But what made them so appealing was the genuine interest they showed in me. Like he really wanted to know the answer to what he just asked me.

"Things are tough at home." Understatement of the year.

Jace brought his hands together and rubbed his right palm with his left thumb. It was pretty cool how he didn't immediately jump in with solutions, questions, or whatever. Instead, he patiently sat there, watching me, waiting for me to continue.

Funny thing was, I wanted to keep talking. I wanted to share my frustrations with him. Something about him drew that out in me.

"I'm just so sick of being the responsible one all the time!" Air whooshed out of my lungs. "I pay the bills, I buy the groceries, hell, I even performed EMT work today!"

Holy crap! Had I just said those words out loud? What the hell is wrong with me?

"Damn."

Even though he said one single, solitary word, it was the right word. The exact right word. His voice sounded sincere and there wasn't pity in it, like I'd expected.

"If I hadn't landed an internship next summer in Winters, I'd find the farthest spot from Twin River and move there." I found myself wanting to say more. To spill my guts about what it was like to live with a bipolar mother who refused to take her medicine.

Stop talking! You've already said enough. What if he tells someone? Even one person. It could get around. Giving one more reason for my classmates to make fun of me.

"You know, the French Southern and Antarctic Lands is not a very hospitable place." Jace's lips quirked, like he was trying to make a joke.

"You lost your sword privileges with that one. It wasn't even remotely funny."

"You said you wanted to get as far away from here as possible and, thanks to eighth grade world geography, I happen to know that the French Southern and Antarctic Lands are the farthest place from Twin River. Well, excluding uninhabited areas."

I let out a laugh so forceful my stomach and shoulders jumped up. "You know what, Jace? You're not as big of a jerk as I thought you were."

He tipped his chin up and grinned. "Yeah, well, you're not as weird as I thought you were."

"Come As You Are" by Nirvana started playing on my phone.

Disappointment settled over me like a wet blanket. I knew what the alert was for... It meant I had thirty minutes to get to work.

"Is that seriously your ringtone?" Jace asked.

"Serious as a sword through the heart." I winked, kind of liking the fact that we had a little secret that nobody else knew about. It was something that only I could tease him about.

Jace grabbed his phone and tapped on the screen a few times. A couple of seconds later, the same song played.

"No way." I scrunched up my nose. "You like grunge music from the nineties?"

"Totally. I warm up to it before my games. I mean, I usually add some Kendrick Lamar and J. Cole in there too, but yeah, I've got Nirvana, Red Hot Chili Peppers, and some Stone Temple Pilots on my playlist."

"I'm impressed."

He smiled. "Impressed enough to give me one of my IOUs back?"

"Ha. No way!"
"Bummer." The grin on his face said otherwise.
"Well, I hate to break up the party, but it's dog slinging time."

Jace popped up to his feet, then leaned over, offering his hand to me. There it was, all big and strong, waiting for me to grab it. It was thoughtful of him and it looked like he didn't even think twice about it, but I sure did.

Jace Rovers. My third grade crush. One of the hottest guys at Twin River. Here in my sacred place. I still couldn't believe it.

"It's just a helping hand, McKenna. It won't hurt you," he said, his voice quiet. "I won't hurt you." 

Wow. That was a pretty powerful statement. But

everyone hurt me. Everyone left me. Except Ernie. So I wasn't sure I believed him, but I went for it and slid my hand into his. With a little tug, I was on my feet, standing before him. Only he didn't let me go. He stayed where he was, looking down at me. He was only a few inches taller than me, so I got a great view of his face, up close.

So very close.

My heart stuttered a beat or two, then jumped into a mad dash as his gaze slid over me for the second time today. My mouth went dry and I had to remind myself to breathe.

What would it be like to kiss him? Those full lips...I bet he was a great kisser. All I'd have to do was lean in. A slight movement on my part and I'd know what those lips felt like. Tasted like.

Another round of "Come As You Are" erupted on my phone.

"Again?" Jace asked, still not letting my hand go.

"Hey, nothing wrong with a backup. I fell asleep here once and missed half of a shift. Plus it helps with, uh, distractions."

His grin widened as if he knew I meant he was a distraction. But did he realize I was starting to view him as a welcome distraction? One I actually wanted to be around more and more?

"Um...you can stay...if you want. I mean, as long as you promise not to tell anyone about this place."

His eyes briefly widened, and then he stepped back, releasing my hand, almost as if he was woken up from a daze or something.

"Nah, I'm going to hit up the library." He grabbed his bag off the bed. "But thanks for the offer."

I nodded and motioned for him to follow me. "Remember, step where I step."

The rotten wood gave off a musty smell and cracked as we descended the stairs. But it was familiar to me and I'd made this walk in the dark tons of times. It was kind of nice to share it with someone.

"Need a ride home?"

"Nah, I don't want to make you go out of your way." I reached the bottom and snuck a look at Jace. His biceps bulged slightly in his long-sleeve Twin River High Football shirt as he held his bag. His tight quads tested the limits of the denim. He wasn't huge, like a bodybuilder, but he sure looked like he was solid muscle.

Totally looked the football player part. I'd always thought that. But, boy, did I learn some more about him today that wasn't so football-ish.

And I liked it. Even though I shouldn't, I did.
He shook his head. "It's not a problem. Promise."
"I'm not using an IOU," I warned.
"In that case, you're walking."
I shoved his shoulder. "You're so funny, I'm going to have to call you Mr. Chuckles."

Okay, what alternate universe had I fallen into where

I was hanging out with Jace Rovers, having thoughts of kissing him, and actually holding his hand, like I had when he helped me up?

Oh man...
I am in trouble.

***********

Happy Saturday, Lovelies!

It's my birthday today and I'm celebrating with a double update! This one and I just posted a new chapter of THE LIST! 

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Kelly Anne Blount and LynnRush xoxo