Despite being buried deep in my backpack, I still felt the vibrations of my phone with each incoming text message. They were all from Nate. The first one he sent asked if I was still ignoring him. I made a point of dropping my phone into my bag to answer his question.

That didn't stop him from feverishly tapping out message after message. I distracted myself by talking to Daisy because I so badly wanted to read those messages.

But I knew myself and I knew that, despite everything, I'd believe anything he told me. I couldn't set myself up like that. So whatever apology he was working on went unread.

"We're here!" Nessa squealed, her hands gripping my shoulders from behind.

Outside of the window, we could see the very tops of what I assumed to be the rides. People of all ages crowded the sidewalks, donning Disney gear of their favorite characters.

Relief washed over me. As soon as we found parking, I could take Nessa up on her promise and lose Nate in the crowd.

♡ ♡ ♡

The first thing everyone wanted to do was buy mouse ears. Landon's mom ditched us, determined to find the churros she couldn't stop talking about on the drive.

The gift shop was packed. There were narrow aisles between rows of hats, headbands, and other souvenirs. Nessa, Liz, and Daisy were excitedly trying to decide which mouse ear headband to get and gawking at the almost thirty-dollar price tag.

I should've been right along with them. Yet, all I could think about was Nate. He, Lorenzo, and Landon were trying on the wedding veil mouse ears, laughing and snapping pictures of each other.

Nate's laugh sent a flutter through my chest. How was I supposed to focus on headbands when he was five feet away with the most adorable grin on his face?

"Aw, young love," Daisy said, covering her heart with her hands and sighing dreamily. She had a simple pair of Minnie Mouse ears settled into her blond hair.

Nate must've heard her because he suddenly looked over, our eyes locking briefly before I turned my back to him. "What are you talking about?"

Liz and Nessa joined us in the small corner of the store, it seemed like Daisy was the only one who had her ears picked out already.

"You know what she's talking about," Liz said, hip-bumping me. "When are you and Nate going to move past the flirting and get to kissing?"

Nessa sent me an amused look. Daisy, as perceptive as ever, caught it, her eyes going wide. "Wait, have you and Nate already hooked up?"

My face burned, desperate for a subject change. "It's really none of your business," I snapped, stunning both Liz and Daisy.

Daisy held her hands up in defense. "Okay. Sorry, I asked."

Feeling embarrassed for an entirely new reason, I left out of the crowded, sweltering store to cool off. The slight breeze and scent of cinnamon calmed me.

Nessa's boney arms wrapped around me from behind, her chin resting on my shoulder. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," I lied, shrugging. "It was hot in there."

She let me go, coming to stand in front of me. "I told them we were going for a walk and will meet back up with them in an hour for food. You ready to live out our ten-year-old Disneyland fantasy?"

Nessa was truly the most amazing human being on the planet. "Yes, please."

Her smile was wide as she hooked her arm around mine. "Let's see if we can track down a princess."

♡ ♡ ♡

"It's official," Nessa announced as we exited It's a Small World. "I hate that song."

I laughed, remembering how she danced along to it first and how her enjoyment steadily declined. By the end of the ride, she looked like she was getting a headache.

We'd been on the Pirates of the Caribbean ride, the carousal, watched part of a parade, and met most of the Mickey Mouse gang. My cheeks hurt from smiling and I laughed more than I had in days.

"Really? The sound of drilling teeth gets you excited, but a cute song makes you angry?"

"I'm a complicated woman," she said, grabbing her phone from her pocket as it rang with an incoming FaceTime.

Lorenzo appeared on the screen wearing a hat that looked like one of the aliens from Toy Story over his locs. The way Nessa's face lit up at the sight of him made my chest tight. She could be hanging out with her boyfriend, instead she's stuck babysitting me and my stubbornness.

"We're getting food," he said, flipping the camera to show us where they were. "Also, I got you something."

"What is it?" she asked, a smile playing at her lips.

Her smirked. "You'll see when you get over here."

The two of them were so cute.

When Nessa got off the call, I told her, "You don't have to keep me company the whole time we're here."

"No, I don't mind."

"Nessa, I love that you're always there for me," I said, linking my arm with hers as we went to find our friends. "But I feel shitting knowing I'm basically cock blocking you."

She snorted. "You are not cock blocking anyone. We made this plan to experience Disneyland together and that's what we're going to do."

"You know you want to make out with Lorenzo in front of Cinderella's castle," I said, nudging her with my elbow.

"Well, I didn't until you said that!"

I snickered, resting my head on her shoulder. "You should do it. I'll hang out with Liz and Daisy. I owe them an apology, anyway."

"Yeah, speaking of that," she said with caution. "You should also talk to Nate. Yell at him so you're not snapping at your friends, maybe?"

I picked my head up from her shoulder. "Absolutely not. You're right, I fall for people way too fast. If I'd taken two seconds to get to know him, maybe I wouldn't be in this mess."

"Didn't you get to know him, though?" She asked. "And this situation isn't like what you had with Kai. I think you knew in your gut that Kai was trash, which was why you hid your relationship from everyone."

It was possible she had a point. Maybe I was selling myself short with the poor judgement thing.

"So," Nessa said, looking at me with earnest. "What is your gut telling you about Nate?"

I thought back to that first day I saw Nate walk into Cake Me Up. About how hard I tried to convince myself that I hated him despite being drawn to him like a magnet. Staying away from him didn't help in the beginning and it definitely wasn't helping then.

"Charm, just talk to him," she told me as we got closer to the restaurant our friends were at. "I've read enough romance novels to know that most relationship problems could be solved with a single conversation."

I believed her. She did read a lot of romance, after all.

Liz waved us down when walked into an outdoor eating area filled with tables and chairs. There were women with bubble wands to entertain the children and obnoxiously loud music blaring from the speakers.

"Why don't you two have ears?" Kara demanded. Her face was on someone's iPad screen. I couldn't tell, but she looked like she was inside a burger place.

"We'll get some, promise," Nessa said, pulling up a chair at the table. "Where's Lorenzo and Nate?"

"Getting the food," Daisy offered. "There was no reason for all of us to stand in that long line. You should text them your order if you want anything other than a cheeseburger."

Nessa looked up at me, her eyes conveying what I was already thinking: Now was the perfect time to talk to Nate.

The food line was so crowded, I didn't even look like a line. Just a mass of people buzzing with excitement and carrying around lightsabers and giant plush toys.

Thankfully, Nate and Lorenzo weren't hard to find. As soon as I saw Nate, the boldness I had seconds ago drained from me. What if I didn't like whatever he had to say? On the flip side, what if it was everything I wanted to hear and we could resume that blissful night in his room?

I pushed forward, the good outweighing the bad. They were in the middle of the "line" and after saying excuse me a million times, I made it to them.

"Hey," I said, grabbing Nate's attention. His eyes widened when he saw me. The corners of his mouth twitched, almost smiling, before catching himself. "Can I talk to you?"

Without a second of hesitation, he nodded, telling Lorenzo he'll be back.

Once we were in a less populated area, I turned to Nate. All the words I planned to say evaporated when his gaze locked on mine. His expression was a mix of caution and hope, like he didn't know which direction I'd go in.

Nate broke the silence before I had the chance. "I'm sorry."

As much as I wanted to accept those two words and go back to how things were before, I needed answers.

"What happened?" My words cracked under the weight of all pinned up emotions I had. "The next day, you were just gone."

He rubbed the back of his neck, eyes focused on something above my head. "I know and I'm sorry."

"I need more than that, Nate." I crossed my arms, waiting for his explanation.

He chewed nervously at his bottom lip, his gaze coming back to me. "As soon as you left, my mom told me to pack a bag because my uncle was sick or something. I tried to tell her I had plans, that I couldn't just leave, but the way she was talking made me think he was dying.

I would've told you everything, but you weren't replying to my messages. And honestly, I didn't know how to explain."

I could feel my defenses go back up. The Charm from weeks ago ready to be mean first and ask questions later. If he wasn't working with his mom and uncle, there'd be nothing to explain, right?

"Explain what?" He looked at his shoes. Scratched his brow. Every second of stalling killed me a little more. "Were you helping your mom and uncle?"

He still couldn't meet my eyes when he nodded. "Yeah, I was."

I shouldn't have been so surprised. I knew it was a possibility. But there was a difference between thinking you knew something and having it confirmed.

Tears sprung to my eyes. My hands clenched into fists as I wrapped my arms tighter around myself. How could I have been so clueless?

"Charm." His fingers brushed against my arm and I pulled back like he'd burned me. Shoulders deflating, he stuffed his hands into his pocket. "I didn't know anything about the fire. If I knew about it, I wouldn't have taken you there that night."

"But you knew about everything else?" I asked, focusing on my anger to keep myself from crying.

"Not everything," he admitted. "All I was supposed to do was work there and make copies of the keys. It was only supposed to take a week, two tops. But—"

"But what? You enjoyed screwing with me too much to stop?" I let out a bitter laugh, shaking my head. "I'm such an idiot, thinking that you actually liked me."

He took a cautious step towards me, stopping when I took a step back. "That's the only part that wasn't a lie."

"Yeah, right," I scoffed. "I fell for it once, don't expect me to fall for it again."

"I'm sorry," he said again, weakly.

All I could do was walk away before I completely broke down. I guessed we were even. I almost ran him over on his birthday and he destroyed my heart on mine.

So much for Disneyland being the happiest place on earth.