Washington: I am older than all of you, therefore you are all my children. (-friend)

Lafayette: *holds up a french fry, laughing* IT'S LAFAYETTE! (-me)

Hamilton: *holds up biography* I'm only on chapter 13! *silence* It's a really big book! (-me)

Jefferson: I made Mac and cheese. (-grandma)

Madison: I know he's dead, but he has big ears. That's what matters. (-dad)

Laurens: I am a very weird person. You must know that about me. (-me)

Mulligan: I ACCIDENTALLY STOLE YOUR PENCIL!!!! (-me)

Burr: There's a trashcan in the hall. I wonder if anyone will run into it... (-friend)

(These are actual, legitimate things I have heard my friends and family say. These are also things I have legitimately said XD)