Alexander Hamilton: If you forget his name, don't worry. He'll say it again in like five seconds.

Aaron Burr (sir): The biggest plot twist in the show is realizing you give a shit about him.

Eliza Schuyler: Is a sweetheart who doesn't deserve this shit.

Angelica Schuyler: Is smarter and prettier than you. (Don't take offense to this)

John Laurens: There is a nonzero chance he and Hamilton moved undercover and moved as one (If you're picking up what I'm putting down.)

Lafayette: He came all the way from France to rap at the speed of sound.

Hercules Mulligan: (Nothing was there so I'm gonna put something) Cinnamon roll who makes pants.

Thomas Jefferson: He came all the way from France to ruin everything.

James Madison: ...France (he was extremely shy and the shortest president standing at 5'4 or 162.56 cm)

George Washington: Hamilton probably called him dad on accident more than once; has to lead a nation but really just wants to sit under some vines.

Philip Hamilton:  You're gonna cry so fucking hard. (Which I did)