Julie walked outside onto the back patio and handed Marcus and Harry a beer.  It was now mid January, and they had been back in LA for about a month.  It was a mild January evening so Harry had started a fire in the fire pit after dinner, and the three of them were now sitting out there enjoying the clear sky and the fresh air.  Julie had to use the bathroom, something she was doing quite frequently now, so she'd agreed to grab the beers on her way back out.  Marcus had come over to help Harry rearrange the nursery furniture earlier that day and hung around after.  It was taking some time, but Julie was getting used to the fact that Harry and Marcus seemed to be becoming pretty good friends on their own.  It had been Harry who called and asked for Marcus's help, not her.

"I know this is happening more often lately, but it still takes me a minute to realize I'm not dreaming every time I come out and see the two of you spending time together voluntarily."  Julie said as she placed a beer in each of their hands and then lowered herself and her much larger baby bump onto the sofa next to Harry.  Both men were completely relaxed back, Harry on the sofa to her left and Marcus on the chair to her right.

Harry took a drink of his beer and laughed.  "Hey, you have good taste in friends.  It was only a matter of time until I just had to accept it."

"Yeah, husbands too, I guess."  Marcus chuckled.  "Seems you have the best of both worlds, so you should just accept it, and stop worrying about it."

"Oh, she always worries when things start to go well."  Harry advised Marcus.  "She'll learn."  When Julie pulled the blanket up over her, he rested his hand on her knee.

"I'm just a little cautious about it.  A little bit afraid of it."  Julie laughed.  "Sorry.  But it's nice.  I like the two of you getting along.  I mean, I'd worry more if it was Jaime spending more time with Harry, but I guess since it's you, Marcus, it's ok."

"Hey!"  Both Harry and Marcus said at the same time and then laughed.

"Already in tune with each other."  Julie laughed and shook her head.  She pulled out her phone when it started ringing.  "It's my mom.  I'll take it inside. Behave while I'm gone."  She got up and answered the call as she walked into the house.

Harry watched Julie as she walked inside and slid the door closed behind her.  "Well, I guess she isn't wrong.  Things have changed pretty quickly.  But, thanks for your help today.  It was all set up, but then the wife thought it was all in the wrong place."

"Anytime.  And yeah, we don't want to irritate the wife.  Especially now.  Although, I think most things ended up back, or at least close, to where they started."  Marcus chuckled.  "I did get a good dinner out of it though."

"Yeah, well, Julie did work with the designer.  But I think she wanted to have it where we had our hands in it.  I understand, so, it didn't bother me.  It was great to have some help with the heavy lifting though.  Plus, sometimes a little buffer right now is nice."  Harry admitted.

"Oh, so she can get irritated with me instead of you?  I see how it is."  Marcus laughed as he took a drink of his beer.

"Hey, you can go home whenever you want.  Plus, she likes you.  Sometimes more than me."  Harry sighed and rested his arm across the back of the sofa.

"Well, maybe sometimes."  Marcus admitted.  Julie was right.  It sometimes took him a minute to realize what was happening as well, but he and Harry seemed to be making their own friendship out of this circumstance.  Julie was still his main concern, but Harry was a good guy, and he hadn't been surprised to receive his call this morning asking for help with the nursery, and it was nice to be needed.  "Besides, it could have been Jaime instead."

"Look, Jaime is great, and there are certain things I'm sure I'll need his help for, but it is definitely a different dynamic, no doubt."  Harry nodded.  "Even though he has Gregory, he's still scary sometimes."

"You mean the fact that he'd drop poor Gregory in a heartbeat if you'd kick your wife to the curb?"  Marcus took a drink after he laughed.  "You know he never would, right?  At least, I think he's joking."

"I think so too, at least most of the time."  Harry admitted.  "But sometimes, there's a part of me that worries for the safety of Gregory and my wife."

"Oh, don't buy into the conspiracies, Harry."  Marcus said turning as he heard the sliding doors open.  He stood up quickly at the same time Harry did as soon as they saw the look on Julie's face.  He stepped around the chair as Harry basically jumped the table to get to Julie's side.

"Hey, what's wrong?"  Harry asked.  He practically threw the beer bottle onto the table as he jumped over it which caused it to fall to its side and spill.  He didn't notice or care.  "Julie?"  He took her elbow and gently led her to the sofa.  "Baby?  What's wrong?  Are you ok?  Is it the baby?"  When she shook her head, he gently set her down on the sofa and sat next to her.  "Sweetheart, what's wrong.  You're scaring me."

Marcus sat on the edge of his chair and put his hand on Julie's arm which was resting on the arm of the sofa.  He glanced at Harry who glanced at him, and they both shrugged.  "Hey, talk to us.  Tell us what happened.  Is your mom ok?"  When Julie nodded, he squeezed her forearm gently.  "Come on, Julie, tell us what happened."

Julie wasn't even sure what she was doing right now.  She wasn't even sure how she'd made it back out onto the patio.  When she'd answered the phone she had not been expecting the news she'd gotten from her mom.  Now she wasn't sure how to feel or even how to process the information.  She looked up between Harry and Marcus, seeing the bewilderment and concern in both their faces, and she knew had to try to explain. Her brain had to find the words to articulate what she'd just found out.  She had two men who were extremely concerned trying to get her to tell them what was wrong.  "Mom's fine.  The family is fine.  Just, she called to tell me something."  Julie struggled to say.  She shook her head.  The emotion was choking her right now.  Her mind was muddled.

"Ok, baby, that's good.  But, then what's going on?"  Harry asked quietly stroking her knee, trying to soothe her.  "Can you tell us?  Please?"

"I, just, it's just, I don't know, I can't even think straight."  Julie tried to remain calm, but it was hard.  And the more upset she got the more Grace moved, and now that she was bigger, it was more uncomfortable.  She moved around in her seat to try and relax.  "It's, Johnny."

Harry sat up straight.  Of course it was.  It had been years.  And things had finally started to go right. Life had actually been normal and relatively calm. Of course, the bastard would rear his ugly head.   "What is he trying to do now?  What the hell does he think he can get or accomplish?"

"He's dead."  Julie said quietly clasping her hands tighter together in her lap and staring at them.

"Oh."  Harry gulped in air and paused, but then put his hand on her back and rubbed it gently.  "Wow."

Marcus took Julie's hand in his and squeezed it.  He had been around for a lot of the Johnny drama.  He hadn't gone to any of the trial, but he had heard enough.  He hated to be this way, but he felt the bastard deserved what he got.  He almost said it out loud and then bit his tongue.  He wasn't sure saying such a thing would be well received.  Even though it probably should be a relief that Julie no longer had to worry about Johnny coming back again.  "Can I get you something?"  When she didn't answer, he stood up and looked down at her.  "I'm going to make you a nice cup of chamomile tea. "  He nodded at Harry and let himself back into the house.

Julie heard Marcus, but didn't really even know what to say to his question.  She was having a difficult time processing her mom's news, and her body and brain both felt numb.  Harry hadn't said anything either after his initial two word reaction.  The emotions were so fast and so furious, and so conflicting.  "Harry.  I don't know how to feel."

Harry broke out from his own thoughts and turned and pulled Julie into a hug.  "I know, baby. I bet it's hard.  I'm not sure I know what I'm feeling either.  Did your mom say what happened?"

Julie laid her head on Harry's shoulder as she started to cry.  "Yeah."  But she couldn't explain.  Not yet.  Now that she was in Harry's arms, she needed a moment, just to be comforted. There was no safer place for her than his arms. Julie let out a deep sigh. She had sat inside after she'd gotten off the phone with her mom, but she couldn't come to any conclusions, and then she'd found herself outside.

"I'm here to listen if you want, but no pressure."  Harry closed his eyes and rested his head on hers.  He wouldn't deny he was curious, but he wouldn't push her.  He couldn't imagine what she was going through.

Julie sat up and wiped her face on her sleeves when Marcus came out and handed her the mug of tea.  "Thank you."

"Of course."  Marcus perched himself on the edge of the chair again.  "Should I go?  Do you need some time?"

"No, it's ok.  Really."  Julie took a sip of her tea.  "I just, don't really know how to feel.  After what he did, I mean, I just, I don't really want to wish anyone dead."

"I know."  Marcus reached over and put his hand over hers again.  "I know.  We both know."  He said looking at Harry.  "And I think we both understand exactly what you mean."

"Yeah, I get the conflict."  Harry admitted.  "I really do.  I don't want to feel relieved, but I can't deny that I do feel a bit relieved.  And that bothers me a little."

"Yeah.  Exactly."  Julie got a little uncomfortable again at the admission.  She felt relieved that Johnny couldn't come around anymore.  That he would never see her again, and he would never get a glimpse of Grace, ever, but she felt horrible for feeling relieved that he was dead.  "I can't help but feel bad that someone, even Johnny, lost their life, so young, so unexpected."

"But what he did to you"  Harry looked at her,  "was unforgivable and horrible and somehow, I can't help it.  I just can't."

"Yeah, I know."  Julie shook her head.  "It's a life though, and he was a horrible person, but death?  I don't know...". She took a deep breath.  "Apparently, it was a bar fight.  Mom didn't know all the details, but said he got into it with someone, and they ended up in a fight outside.  He was taken to the hospital, but he died the next day.  They couldn't save him."  Julie shook her head again as the tears came.  "I shouldn't care right?  He deserved it.  Fate took care of it?  He got what he deserved?  What he gave?  But, I just can't feel that way."

"Baby, because you're a good person.  You don't want anyone to die.  You wouldn't wish anyone to lose their life."  Harry told her gently.

"But I HAD wished him dead, many times.  Wished he'd be out of my life.  Thought about how much easier it would be if he would just be gone."  Julie sobbed.

"Julie, this is not your fault."  Marcus took her hand in both of his.  "Your thoughts did not do this to him.  His temper did. I'm sure of it."

"Yeah, maybe.  I mean, I guess."  Julie stuttered.  "I don't know who started it, but I guess it doesn't matter, right?"

"Right."  Harry answered.  "Baby, there's nothing that could have stopped this.  It was him.  All him."

"But I can't help but feel bad that he's dead."  Julie tried to stop the tears but couldn't.  "I shouldn't cry over him, should I?"

"You should do whatever you feel you need to."  Harry comforted.  "I doubt there's any book on how you should feel about this.  I doubt there's someone who can tell you how you should feel."

Marcus stood up and leaned down and kissed Julie's cheek.  "I'm going to go.  I'm going to let you and Harry have some time.  If either of you need anything, please make sure you call me.  No matter the time."  He shook Harry's hand and then looked back at Julie.  "Please, don't be so hard on yourself.  Feel how you need to, and let Harry be here for you however you need him to be."

"Thank you, Marcus.  For everything."  Harry stood up after Marcus walked away.  "Come on, let me take you inside.  It's late enough to climb in bed."

"Ok."  Julie stood up and looked up at Harry when he didn't move.  She took a deep breath when he cupped her cheek and rubbed his thumb over her cheek bone.  "I can't be happy about this.  Maybe I'm relieved he can't hurt me anymore, and that he can't figure out a way back into my life with Grace coming, but I can't be happy."

"I wouldn't expect you to be happy about his death.  But I can't lie and say I'm torn up about it.  Not after what he did to you.  Not after that court case and how he came after you.  Not after those dreams I saw you have.  Those stories I heard."  Harry shuddered and took a deep breath.  "But I can understand how as a human, and a good human, you don't wish death on anyone.  Even though if there was one person..."

"Yeah, I know."  Julie sighed.  She took another deep breath and started to walk towards the house.  So many emotions filled her chest, and she couldn't quite figure them out.  The relief she felt made her feel guilty.  And that guilt was hard to take.  Even though Johnny had left her for dead, and would have used her death to his advantage, it wasn't her.  He was young, and she had hoped at some point, he would just be out of her life and move on and somehow be happy.  But, the other part of her realized he now couldn't hurt her or anyone else.  He couldn't find anyone else to torture. That, she very much, felt relieved about.

She slowly walked up the stairs to the bedroom as Harry locked up.  She'd tried hard to push Johnny out of her head so many times.  But he was always there, at least some what, no matter how much she had going on.  And she always wondered if he would find another woman to treat like he'd treated her.  And she always wondered if she could somehow prevent it.  Maybe it was better he was no longer able to do that.  To anyone.  But death was just extreme.  She rubbed over her face as she felt Harry's arms around her.

"I'm here for you, please remember that."  Harry kissed the side of Julie's head from behind.  He rubbed her stomach and stopped when the baby kicked his hand.  "Grace is awake."

"Yeah, I'm trying to relax, so she does, but she still knows when I'm upset."  Julie started crying again.  She turned towards Harry and looked up into his eyes.  "I feel so lost.  I don't know how to feel, and I'm so confused."

Harry felt so bad for his wife.  He tried to be understanding.  He didn't wish death on anyone, but he was becoming more relieved the more he thought about it.  He didn't want Johnny anywhere near Grace or Julie, ever.  And it didn't surprise him Johnny had gotten caught up in a bar fight.  Not after seeing his temper in that court room.  Not after hearing what he had done to Julie.  Yet, he still tried hard to understand Julie's confusion.  "I'm sorry it's so hard for you, baby.  I'm so sorry.  I wish it wasn't."

"I wish I could just hate him, say good, and say it's what he deserved.  I do.  What he did, what he kept trying to do.  He made my life hell, over and over."  Julie sobbed into Harry's chest.  "And he hurt so many people, and I'm sure he was to blame, for that fight, and it's his own fault.  But I was shocked at how I felt when Mom said he was dead."  She swallowed hard.  "I didn't expect it to hurt."

Harry put his hand behind Julie's head.  "I can't say I know how you feel, but I can say you're allowed to feel whatever way you need to.  Julie, it's a lot to accept.  I get it.  Please don't feel bad.  Or like you have to explain.  I'm here for you."

"I know."  Julie held tightly to Harry as she cried into his chest.  She thought she was done crying over Johnny.  She thought of him often, unfortunately, but hadn't heard anything from him since the trial.  It had been easier to just move past things the longer he stayed away.

"Hey, lets get you changed, and into bed."  Harry kissed Julie's forehead and then helped her get her pajamas.  He changed as she washed up and put on her pajamas and sat on the bed to wait for her.  When she came out of the bathroom, he held out his arms to her, and when she walked between his legs, he kissed her stomach and looked up at her.  "I know the next few days will be hard.  But please, let me know what you need.  I know it will be up and down while you work through this.  I get it.  Please, know that I'll be here for whatever you need."

"I know, Harry."  Julie forced a small smile at him.  "I'm glad Grace will never know him.  She'll never have to see me fear him.  Only the memories.  And maybe the memories won't be so bad since there is no chance of them becoming the present or the future again.  I'm glad that he can't hurt anyone anymore.  Hell, I may even be glad he can't hurt himself anymore.  Maybe it is best.  For everyone.  Even him.  He couldn't have been happy.  Not really.  Not with how he must have always felt.  Maybe, it's just how it's supposed to be, but I just can't help but feel guilty for that.  And that guilt is the worst."

"Don't feel guilty.  You did everything you could, Julie.  You tried to get him to see.  You stuck by him.  You gave him chances, even after he chased you to Vegas and here.  You have to let him take responsibility for something, baby."  Harry put his hand back on Julie's belly.  "You have me you have to look out for.  And this one here who's kicking your insides.  Aren't we enough to handle?"

Julie sniffled and couldn't help but laugh a little at Harry trying to lighten the mood.  "Yeah, you and she are enough to look out for.  And I know he doesn't deserve my sympathy.  I know I couldn't save him from himself."

"Yet, you still tried and probably still would have."  Harry kissed her stomach and told Grace to behave and then scooted back on the bed and helped Julie under the covers.  "And that's just you."

Julie curled up to Harry and put her leg over his and lay on his chest.  "So, you don't think I'm completely crazy for not celebrating at the news?"

"No, baby, I don't."  Harry reached over and turned out the light on the night stand.

"And you don't think I'm completely crazy for being kind of happy that he can't come around anymore and hurt me or anyone else?"  Julie asked as she tried to stop the next wave of emotion creeping into her chest.

"No, baby, I don't."  Harry looked down at Julie.  "Don't hold in your emotions either.  Cry, if you need to.  Be angry, if you need to.  Celebrate, if you need to."

"We aren't throwing a party, Harry."  Julie tried to joke the best she could before the tears started coming again.

"I know, baby, I know."  Harry rubbed over Julie's arm.  He was afraid of her having dreams.  She already had some pretty real and odd pregnancy dreams, which her doctor had told her were normal with the hormones, but now, he was afraid of the dreams she'd have involving Johnny.  Every time that bastard came up, she had very intense, scary dreams.  "I have to tell you, I'm a bit afraid of the dreams tonight."

Julie nodded.  "Yeah, I can't say I'm excited about it.  But, maybe, just maybe it won't be so bad."  She could hope, even if she knew it probably wouldn't be true.

"Get some rest, baby.  We will get through it, just like we always have.  I'll hold you through all of them."  Harry kissed her lips and held her tight.  And they did just that, all night.  He woke to her screams, he held her through her talking about them, he listened to her confusion, he let her cry, he let her be angry, but most of all he loved her through all of it.  He hated that it had to happen, and he hated anyone had to lose their life, but he wasn't upset that he didn't have to worry about Johnny coming back and hurting his wife ever again. He actually felt quite relieved that there was no possibility Johnny would ever see Grace.  And maybe he should feel guilty about the fact he was glad Johnny was gone in that way, but he didn't.  He was simply glad his wife was free from Johnny's terror once and for all.

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Well.....
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