────────Stay Frosty Royal Milk Tea, Fall Out Boy

        There are two separate versions of Ramona Hargreeves.  Both exist simultaneously on the same timeline because fundamentally, they are the same person.  They inhabit the same body.  There is a line that splits Ramona Hargreeves' life into two halves: Before and After.  Each version of Ramona resides on opposite halves of the split. 

Before Ramona is kind and sweet and gentle with a heart of gold beating just beneath her ribcage.  She is born with claws in between her fingers and blood on her hands and is deemed a monster and shipped off to the highest bidder before she even has a name.  She has the ability to break everything that she touches, but Before Ramona is not a violent dog.  She does not bite if she can help it.  Before Ramona chooses to be gentle despite the fact that she was born for cruelty.  Before Ramona is exploited.  Before Ramona is but a child stuffed in a suit and hidden behind a mask that she does not want, all for the public eye.  Before Ramona is weak.  Before Ramona doesn't fight back.  Before Ramona listens to every order given to her because that's all that Before Ramona was taught to do.  Before Ramona cannot afford to make mistakes.

After Ramona cannot make mistakes, either.  Mistakes are human, of course, but After Ramona still cannot afford to make them.  So, perhaps Before Ramona and After Ramona are not so different after all.  The Handler teaches her to be better.  The Handler beats her mistakes out of her.  Before Ramona's biggest mistake was being soft and After Ramona pledges to fix that.  After Ramona pledges to be scarier, to flirt with the fire and set the world ablaze if it called for it because she doesn't owe anything to the world she hadn't wanted to be born into.  It's when her brother dies that Before Ramona dies and After Ramona is born in her stead.  Ramona owes it all to The Handler. 

The Handler plucks Ramona from the alleyway that she had taken shelter in after running away from her childhood home at the age of seventeen.  The Handler teaches her how to sharpen her edges.  The Handler teaches her how to sink the knife in and twist it in the right direction.  The Handler teaches Ramona not to fear her violent nature.  The Handler teaches Ramona to bring the world to its knees.  The Handler teaches Ramona that she is more than just another number.  She tells Ramona that she's special.  That there's nobody else in the world quite like Ramona.  The Handler raises Ramona like a lamb to the slaughter.  After all, Ramona is still young, Ramona is still only seventeen years old and yearns for a mother.  Ramona would do anything if it meant that she could be held the right way.  The Handler sees this.  The Handler takes her chance and wraps Ramona tightly around her finger.  The Handler is a puppet master, and Ramona has been reduced to nothing more than another one of her toys that she can toss around when she grows bored.  

After Ramona is ruthless, but After Ramona is just as weak as Before Ramona.  She'll bend over backward to gain The Handler's approval.  Or so The Handler thinks.  But Ramona knows that The Handler hides her away from her brother.  Ramona knows that The Handler hides her away from the apocalypse.  But she and her brother meet behind closed doors where the walls don't have ears.  Ramona will pretend to be The Handler's docile little lamb until the time is right. 

dafne keen.        Ramona Hargreeves
SHE/HER.  NUMBER EIGHT.  THE BEAST.

disclaimer: i do not own the umbrella academy, its plotlines, characters, dialogue, or locations.  i am only responsible for ramona hargreeves and any other characters you do not recognize from the original source material.  although this story is vastly different from the original plot, i'd still like to credit ffeverdreamss for the inspiration and original plot and jane hargreeves. 

warnings: sexual assault, manipulation, child abuse, love bombing, torture, violence, gore, strong language, drinking, smoking, drugs, substance abuse, addiction, PTSD, other mental illnesses, strong signs of trauma, murder, suicide, character death, a feral character, morally gray characters, sexual references, vomit, possible self-harm, more to be added.

this story is labeled as mature because this does have instances of sexual assault.  it isn't constant, but it is still very much there.  this is a very big theme within the first and second seasons and will continue to be a theme in the later seasons, but not as much.  trigger warnings will be placed at the beginnings of chapters that discuss what happened to ramona (and five) in depth and when there are any graphic depictions of the assault.  the handler has always felt very predatory to me in the way that she behaved around five (especially when he's in the body of a child) and this story does play into that because i feel that her behaviors toward five were glossed over in the show (though i'm sure that was probably in part because aidan gallagher was a minor during the filming of those seasons).

author's note:

📍           ramona is an amalgamation of scrapped ocs, mainly original jane hargreeves, another old character ramona hargreeves/carmen maldonado, and nora chase.  before and after ramona are the same person just during different periods of time—before ramona being before the umbrella academy began to fall apart and after ramona being kind of after ben dies and when she's taken to the commission. 

📍          i don't really imagine ramona to be super different from original jane, she's still deep down a young girl with an unsatified inner child that loves her siblings more than anything.  however,, she is a trained assassin.  she was kept as a kid while she was at the commission for very gross reasons.  she is very traumatized.  she has done terrible things to people.  but also, she's just more chaotic and a smart dumbass who constantly wants to dropkick five off of a cliff while simultaneously managing to be the bane of his existence, and more willing to do things that she wouldn't have done before if it means saving her family (aka murdering a room full of people among other stuff).  but expect a lot of chaotic duos, mainly ramona & klaus, ramona & five, ramona & lila, and of course ramona & stanely as chaotic best friends.  i'm also considering bringing castiel into this again if anyone remembers them because ramona definitely needs them.

📍           ramona's powers have been completely changed.  originally, she had the ability to manipulate reality; at the time, that played a vital role in the plot, but now ramona's story is not contingent on that and those powers always opened up a bunch of plot holes that i really don't want to deal with anymore.  now, she has powers very similar to wolverine/x-23.  she has the retractable claws as well as a berserker rage similar to wolverine's when her claws are out among other things.  she is more durable than ordinary people, but she does not have the regeneration.

📍           i will be writing out the luther/allison relationship because that has always been EXTREMELY weird to me.  i also kind of want to write out the luther/sloane relationship too because that was also weird to me.  i really wanna do luther justice because i love that guy!!  i really do!! 

📍           that being said, i really shouldn't have to say this.  but.  just in case, there will be absolutely NO romance between ramona and ANY of her siblings.  that's weird and gross.  do not make any sort of comments on this book regarding the romanticize of ramona's realtionship with her siblings.  the WILL be deleted.  please remember that the siblings grew up with literally only each other.  they are going to be a lot closer than normal siblings.  ramona can have good relationships with her siblings without being in love with them!!  the hargreeves siblings can have good realtionship with one another without being in love with each other!!

📍           i also will be referring to viktor as vanya and with she/her pronouns until he comes out in s3, as that is how he identified and this is told through ramona's perspective and wouldn't know until viktor comes out.  i also just really love how his coming out was handled in the show so i wanted to highlight that.  i don't want to see anybody not using viktor's name and pronouns in the comments though bc that's just called being a decent person :))

originally started: 03.14.20
originally published: 03.15.20

1st rewrite started: 01.09.21
1st rewrite published: 05.07.21

2nd rewrite started: 06.23.22
2nd rewrite published: 06.26.22

3rd rewrite started: 08.08.24
3rd rewrite published: 08.04.24
finished: tbd